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111[DhammaStudyGroup] Re: Helping elderly parents

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  • Ivan Walsh
    Feb 3, 2000
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      >I, too, had a lot of dilemmas and difficulties in this regard when my
      >parents were having a lot of marital problems and when my father became
      >alcoholic. I still have a feeling (or rather thoughts) of conventional
      >failure in this regard. Sometimes we try to do more than >we're>really up
      >to and not realistic about our limits. But what are these >limits? What is
      >failure?
      >metta, Sarah

      Our limit is the maximum drive we are capable of to fulfill our lobha. And
      failure is dosa, due to unfulfilled lobha.
      Trying to do more than we�re really up to and not being realistic about our
      limits is due to excessive lobha. A very common state of mind, as are
      thoughts of failure of regret.
      Our limits and our successes and failures are just thinking (a story), due
      to the rising and falling away of cita/cetasika. Every moment has its
      characteristic that can be known and the story that they are creating
      distracts from knowing the moment for what it is. If the moments of dosa or
      lobha etc. do not arise, then how can there be contemplation and eventual
      understanding of their characteristics? The stories that cita/cetasiaka
      create can be confusing, the characteristics of each moment are not. Is the
      answer found in manipulating the story to make it different from what it is
      or understand the moments ( kusala or akusala) that create the story?
      Ivan
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