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4196What is life about?

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  • cosmicbal
    Oct 16, 2013
      I wanted to come here, to experience, to heal others and to heal myself. to grow and expand. to solidify who i am and the world i want to live in. which ironically is becoming less concrete.. seeing as how things are changing within my mind so quickly,,

      i want to be a part of something big. to laugh and cry. to shed my shame and sorrows with a blaze of glory and a flash of light. and with a calm everlasting breeze that i can rest reflect and re-energize for more experiences.

      i want to be a part of it all, yet i have been denying myself true desires because of fears, regrets, past digressions and misconceptions that perhaps i can't.

      I WANT IT ALL! There is nothing wrong with that. I want everybody to have it all. i am a part of ALL.. And I want to be a part of ALL. the good the bad the ugly.. that's the beauty. I feel at least. i want those goose bump defining moments, extremes and everything in between. and i want the peace and calm of a beach with the horizon reminding me of my eternal inner smile. this smile will never die, though i have forgotten it in the past many times i remember it always.

      I can appreciate everything in this universe. i can not rationalize it intellectually with all the evils i choose and continue to transmute to light. and i won't even try to rationalize emotion anymore. but i FEEL it. and my mind tells me i am insane.. but the mind is a tool. which i am grateful for, because it seems to be as powerful as emotion.

      Driving day to day in this truck i am left to my thoughts quite a bit and rarely do feelings play a hand. but more and more my feelings are taking a front seat in the creation of my reality. and it is powerful. my mind can't comprehend it. doesn't need to.

      Emotion is behind thought, and then the mind tries to rationalize it all, but eventually tripping itself up or barricading itself off for the sake of rationality. But I see now that if i continue to live ruling my heart with my mind and not the other way around, i will endure a lot of pain and suffering, as i already have. i don't need to rule the other with one. i need to find a marriage between the two. i think i am finding that. i feel i am finding that. because i want it.

      i am building up for something better for tomorrow. but i will live in today as well and be alive, not a computer program with objectives and jobs to get done. though that isn't necessarily bad.

      Love yourself. "Open your heart, that's where you'll start."

      :) i really love writing these things, so i will just keep doing them. if even just for my own happiness. I don't even know any of you, but i love being here and being a part of it with all of you in spirit(i've seen a few of you in spirit from my last post. good job! if we did that more often this place would change in a few heartbeats. the power of one is great. the power of many is incomprehensible.. and we will have more fun for sure). Time to take a more active role in our realities. it is always time for that. to create our universes, to escape them and look at them from without and laugh at ourselves from within. and continue on with the hugs and hits we give and take and learning from them.

      Peace Y'all. Looking forward to Seeing all of you heart to heart, eyes to eyes. Hope my words solidify your own powerfully positive thoughts and increase your awesomeness as it does for me to read these words. i find a lot of people have similar issues to varying degrees, so hope you enjoy reading this. take care!

      One more thing. the other day i charged up my energy body[ies] as i usually do, but then i externalized my visualizations into my physical body and that was the true reason for my last post. it had truly epic effects on the immediate world within me and around me. Charge up your Golden God-like light bodies, then internalize it into your external physical bodies.. if that makes sense. i truly felt my vibration rise considerably for the first time at such a noticeable level. i mentalized my whole body.. or spread my mind to my whole body. really hard to explain, but truly simple in practice.