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Re: [Death To Religion] how I lost my religion

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  • kaylee coats
    Wow, you must have been a smart kid. I got shuffled around a lot when I was a kid too. I stayed with both of my parents until I was 11. My mom is psychotic,
    Message 1 of 90 , Sep 25, 2010
      Wow, you must have been a smart kid.
      I got shuffled around a lot when I was a kid too. I stayed with both of my
      parents until I was 11. My mom is psychotic, and my dad is a crack head, so they
      had some odd ideas about things to say the least.

      My mother had severe hallucinations and delusions and by the time I was six, so
      did I. I used to talk to people who I was convinced were real, but obviously
      weren't. She came to the conclusion that I spoke to the dead and demons, and
      though she wasn't very religious, thought she'd get me into church. She didn't
      take me very long because when she explained the situation to the church, they
      decided it was because of demons and that we were all possessed.

      She stopped taking me and my brother out of church, and started beating me
      because she was convinced that the possession business was my fault.

      Even as a psychotic little girl, I knew that what she said came more from
      something wrong with her than something wrong with me (and that was probably
      because I'd done the reading I had). My dad paid no attention because he was on
      drugs all the time.

      My parents got divorced and I bounced between them for almost a year until my
      dad left me with my best friend. He just brought be there one day when I was 12
      and refused to pick me up. I stayed there for a little while and learned what
      it's like to be in a normal, house. They were extremely open-minded, and I spent
      a lot of time talking to them about different beliefs and ideas. I went to stay
      with my grandmother for awhile after that, and she's the one who taught me about
      Wicca, witchcraft, and Voodou. She goes through phases of believing something
      for a time, and changes her mind and gets into something else pretty often, and
      this just so happened to be her phase. She had a ton of literature around her
      house about every kind of religion and philosphy, and I read a lot of it.

      Then, when I was in 10th grade, an extremely heavy, thick, garage door was
      dropped on my head (by the man I later married, lol), and I got a major
      concussion. I also moved back into my mother's house for awhile, and she started
      abusing me even more severely than when I was a little kid, and I started
      smoking a lot of pot and drinking a lot.

      By the time I was 17, I had my first and hopefully last major psychotic break
      and started having visions of hell, angles and demons that were convincing
      enough to cause me to believe I was living simulatinously in hell and on earth
      at the same time. It scared the crap out of me.

      My boyfriend (husband now) joined a Pentecostal church at the nudging of one of
      our friends and got me to go with them. I felt safe there where they were
      praying for me and no one was going to hurt me. I really felt like god was there
      watching me, and I saw angles.

      I thought I was cured, and for 2 years I had very few symptoms which I
      attributed to supernatural occurences.
      I realized I wasn't cured when I started seeing things that were not something
      that I could attribute to ghosts or demons (UFOs, aliens, two headed animals and
      other things).

      I also got a job where I work now, in a homeless shelter, where most of the
      people are not Christians, but are the kindest people I've ever met. I could not
      believe in a god who would send people like that to hell, so I came upon a major
      issue in my faith. I also was introduced to the problem of evil, which broke it
      for me. Now, I'm much better. I got help for my mental illness, and I know how
      to get the hallucinations under control, and exactly what they are when they

      From: raysny <raysny@...>
      To: deathtoreligion@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Fri, September 24, 2010 10:54:51 PM
      Subject: Re: [Death To Religion] how I lost my religion

      I got shuffled around a bit as a youngster. Once I started school, I was with my
      grandparents during the school year, other relatives during the summers. Several
      places, all I was allowed to do was read and that was usually limited to
      Reader's Digest and encyclopedias. I ran out of things to read in the children's
      section of the local library, my grandmother got me an adult library card the
      summer before 4th grade.

      She took me to church occasionally, then in 4th grade, I joined a men & boys
      choir at the cathedral downtown. It was impressive and I sort of believed in
      God, if not the Bible stories. That lasted until my voice broke and I discovered
      girls. Quit going to church.

      Moved in with my mother for three years and was forced to attend, I went, but
      ended up losing my religion. Moved out the day I turned 17 and only been back in
      a church a handful of times, for various reasons.

      --- In deathtoreligion@yahoogroups.com, kaylee coats <sumluvlifilth@...> wrote:
      > That's awesome, she sounds like a wonderful lady. I used to read encyclopedias

      > when I was a kid too, and I had a medical book that my mom gave me when I was
      > 5th grade. It was called something like the ABCs of anatomy. There's a lot of
      > information that I've forgotten, but it still took a psychotic break to believe
      > in tripe I was fed by the church. I feel like I lost 5 years of my life- two
      > chasing a delusion, and three trying to make myself believe in it after I
      > started to realize that I didn't anymore.
      > ________________________________
      > From: raysny <raysny@...>
      > To: deathtoreligion@yahoogroups.com
      > Sent: Fri, September 24, 2010 1:34:12 PM
      > Subject: Re: [Death To Religion] how I lost my religion
      > The way she explained it, it was a no brainer, even for a 9-year old to connect
      > the dots.
      > At that age, besides reading Encyclopedia Brown, I was reading Twain. Between
      > those two I picked up a lot about things not being what folks claim.
      > --- In deathtoreligion@yahoogroups.com, kaylee coats <sumluvlifilth@> wrote:
      > >
      > > It's amazing that you would have that kind of insight when you were in fourth
      > > grade. When I was a kid I did a lot of research in other religions and hopped
      > > around. I experimented with a lot of ideas and never really stuck with
      > >
      > > until I was an adult. I sort of followed some Wiccan ideas, Buddhism, Taoism,
      > > bits of Christianity (I liked the concept of angels and was taught to be
      > > terrified of demons), and New Age Spiritualism. I was a well-rounded child.
      > > Coincidently, or perhaps not, the same time I joined the church and began
      > > calling myself Christian, I had a psychotic break that caused me to have
      > >visions
      > >
      > > of hell. By the time I was no longer delusional, I was hip-deep in dogma, too
      > > scared to tell anyone that I didn't agree with what they said or did, and too
      > > scared to think about my own questions.
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > > ________________________________
      > > From: raysny <raysny@>
      > > To: deathtoreligion@yahoogroups.com
      > > Sent: Thu, September 23, 2010 11:49:16 PM
      > > Subject: [Death To Religion] how I lost my religion
      > >
      > >
      > > I think what set me on the road to atheism was studying Greek myths in the
      > > fourth grade. Kindly Mrs. Bear explained that even though these myths weren't
      > > true, they taught morals, values.
      > >
      > > I started thinking of the Bible stories in the same way, I mean even as a kid
      > >
      > > understood that no boat of the times could possibly fit two of every animal.
      > > saw Noah as a morality tale. So what if it wasn't true, it was meant to
      > >inspire,
      > >
      > > to impart a way of life, THAT made sense to me.
      > >
      > > I started looking at religion like the Santa Claus myth, a way to get little

      > > kids to behave, this was for the older kids and couldn't wait for the adults
      > >
      > > confirm my belief. Of course, the adults denied it, but they did the same
      > > Santa when I was younger.
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > >
      > > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
      > >
      > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
    • Clint
      ... Lie. ... I belong to and believe whole-heartedly in one of the most hate-filled, violent religions ever... yet I m not like that. Almost like saying I m
      Message 90 of 90 , Nov 5, 2010
        praesto12 wrote:
        > I don't despise anyone in this group.I don't think I've presented that, and if
        > I have it's not true.


        > I think you need to believe that I am a facist and that I am "narrow-minded."
        > You need to believe that I am not open to talking to homosexuals,atheist,
        > muslims extc. You have to believe something like that because it makes it easier
        > for you to reject the Christian message you don't want to hear.

        "I belong to and believe whole-heartedly in one of the most hate-filled,
        violent religions ever... yet I'm not like that."

        Almost like saying "I'm a Nazi and burn Jews but I don't believe in the
        what it says nor do I hate Jews."

        Ok, that is a bit of an extreme comparison but you get the point
        (probably not). You can pick and choose what you want out of your
        religion but it is full of hatred, chauvinism, violence, genocide,
        intolerance, racism, slavery, infanticide, and so forth. I do reject
        it's message and I'd rather not hear it for those very obvious reasons.
        Anyone with half a brain would do so as well.

        > The scope of email is limited, so "arguing" is limited. But let me say that
        > I owe nothing to any of you in the context of presenting or not presenting a
        > fact or argument for anything. I am not on your clock buddy. I owe you nothing.
        > Likewise you do not have to present an argument to me for why you reject Jesus.
        > That's between you and him.

        What jesus? Can I talk him? Where is he? I got something I'd like to say
        to him.

        Oh right. No one has ever seen him nor is there any evidence he ever
        existed. This could be harder than I thought.

        > I do not preach.


        > I did not give up on the DH discussion. I'm interested in
        > learning more on the subject. And, I'm not sure why you are saying that I am
        > against rational discussion.

        I'm not sure what DH stands for but most of this is nonsense. And I'm
        not sure what you define as rational, but I haven't seen much of it.

        > You claim that I "despise" everyone. You call
        > me "narrow-minded." You are very much as ad homenium as you say that I am. I do
        > admit that I dislike "educators" that spend their lives trying to pull
        > people away from God. I also feel sorry for them as well.

        Aw. Poor, other-Richard. I'm getting a mixed message here in that you
        want us to feel sorry for you but you're the bigger man feeling sorry
        for others. Either way, this is just more rambling nonsense.
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