April Fools Joke Gone Bad - 2009
by Steve Zink
Nothing more was seen as happening over in or around the
truck, so at three minutes til 11 Catgirl wheeled her
Bat Bike a short distance away from Robin's hiding place
and then started the engine. It was muffled well enough
that she doubted Catwoman would be able to tell the bike
hadn't come from some farther distance. She drove
across and parked next to the only vehicle seen where
Catwoman had said to meet her, which would be what she
would say if asked.
For procedure, she walked up to the cab first and looked
inside. Nobody home, so Catgirl went to the back door
and knocked. "Catwoman, are you in there? It's me, and
for your benefit, I'll say it's me, Catgirl."
"Ah, I'm glad you're in your costume and being punctual,
Catgirl," she heard from inside. "Hang on a sec while I
raise the door."
As the door started coming up, the assumption about the
interior being lit proved false. At least for the
moment, it was just as dark inside as outside. As she
started to climb the ladder to get up to the level of
the truck's cargo space, Catgirl saw a hand come out to
steady and grab her left wrist. Was that hand gloved
in yellow? No, it had to be a trick of the poor
lighting which made Catwoman's green glove look
yellow. Then a thought hit her like a sledgehammer.
Catwoman's gloves didn't have scalloping shaped like
bat wings on them. But it was too late.
As her face came level with the floor of the truck,
Catgirl found the Cat's Eye ring right before her
eyes. Immune from further hypnotizing she might
have been, but even still the power of the gem took
away her will power and control of her mind. Her
other wrist was grabbed, and then Catgirl found
herself being hoisted up into the back of the truck.
As soon as she was in, the door was slammed shut
again. The lights came on, and the unknowing eyes of
Catgirl saw Batgirl standing in front of her.
"Catgirl, you are in a cataleptic trance. You must
do exactly as I tell you," Batgirl told her. "Stay
absolutely still while I take off that costume you're
wearing." The earlier spell was protecting Dick's
identity but couldn't stop the instructions being
given to her. She stood rigidly still as the false
Batgirl started by removing the black boots one at
time to ensure balance was maintained as first one leg
and then the other became five inches shorter. In
quick succession followed the gloves, cape, mask and
cowl, belt and then finally the catsuit. Then the now
naked form of Barbara Gordon had the long black wig
removed from her head so that she'd be just herself.
The gem was placed in front of her eyes again to
reinforce its control, then Batgirl said, "I know you
can see my face and know that I look exactly like you
as Batgirl, even if you can't acknowledge that. But
I won't look like you for much longer. Be sure to
stay perfectly still again." The soft and fleshy
mannequin stood there as a wig cap was pulled over her
head and all the red hair stuffed up inside it. Then
a light and flexible female face mask was pulled down
over her head, much like the ones in the special part
of the Bat Cave but without the need for activation by
the machine. It snuggled down over her nose, eyes,
lips and chin to become a second, no make that third
skin. It was a possibly even better looking mask than
what the machine provided! Mask, what mask? It
looked like an absolutely stunning face...but belonged
to a bald Selina Kyle.
A long black wig slightly different from the one she'd
entered the truck wearing was pulled over the bald
dome, and now she looked perfect as the nude feline
felon. She stayed standing still as a green catsuit
was pulled onto her body, followed by a green belt,
gloves and boots. Again the procedure was followed to
add height with stiletto heels one leg at a time, then
the green mask was placed over her eyes and the two
cat ears put into her hair above her ears. The
costume was completed as the mind distorting necklace
was drawn over her head, tucked under the hair in
back and hung loosely over her chest.
The woman in green found the gem placed before her
eyes again. "You may loosen up, stay flexible but do
not even think to say anything or try and fight what
I'm going to do next."
The shapely green form flexed from her rigid stance,
then Batgirl picked her up in a fireman's carry. She
walked with her load over to a spot on the floor with
many leather straps strung out on it. The form of
Catwoman was set on the floor, then her arms got tied
behind her, her thighs together in front of her and
her feet tied folded underneath her thighs. After
she was secured, the gem was placed before her eyes
again. "Forget your past as Batgirl, from now on,
you know that you are Catwoman! You are free to move
now, for as little as you can."
At this point the preparation made earlier in the Bat
Cave came into play. While she found her body could
now move freely, albeit not much within her bondage,
her mind rejected the order to think of herself as
being Catwoman. But to see if she could get the
proper reaction from Catwoman as Batgirl, Babs
shuffled in her bondage, looked around for a bit, then
said, "Yes, I am Catwoman, and when I get free, you're
going to regret tying me up, Batgirl!"
"You're not going to get any chance to get me,
Catwoman. I'm going to make sure you get locked up
hard and fast to do time for the crimes you've
committed." Of course, if the police came to pick up
Catwoman, it wouldn't look right if the Cat's Eye ring
was on her yellow gloved finger. So to complete the
picture, Batgirl removed the ring from her hand and
placed it over the ring finger of the tied up right
Suddenly she heard a loud knocking on the back door of
the truck. "Batgirl, it's me, Robin. I got your
message and just got here. Are you all right in
there?" He'd gotten more than a bit worried waiting
while both women were in the closed truck, and decided
that even if Catwoman was in control in there, he had
to do something.
Light stabbed his eyes as the door was raised for the
young hero. Batgirl stooped to greet him, "I'm glad
you finally got here, Robin. What took you so long?
After I got my Batgirl costume back from Catwoman,
she tried to use her ring on me. But I took the
precaution of wearing anti-hypnosis contacts. Come
on up and give me a hand taking Catwoman in."
Right away Robin noticed the wrong voice coming from
Batgirl's mouth, and added to the info she'd just told
him only one conclusion could come to mind. One look
at Catwoman after he was up inside confirmed it.
Somehow Catwoman had used excellent appearing masks on
herself to look like Batgirl and Babs to look like
Further back in the truck, Catwoman hissed, then said,
"Just try and get close to me, either of you! I'll
scratch you eyes out with my claws, then use my Cat's
Eye ring to make you forget everything about me."
Robin looked toward the tied up cat, and saw her
trying to angle her right hand so the ring could be
seen. Obviously, it was Babs in that Catwoman costume
even if she looked exactly like the feline felon
because it was a voice known very well, and it wasn't
Catwoman's. His friend was obviously in charge in
that tied up feline femme fatale with the way she'd
mentioned forgetting everything, so the trick was to
see if he could secure Batgirl somehow.
He got lucky when the figure in black and yellow
started to go over toward Catwoman before he did.
Quickly and silently he reached down into his utility
belt and extracted a pair of Bat Cuffs, along with a
length of Bat Line. He grabbed first one and then
the other of Batgirl's wrists and pulled them forcibly
behind her before she could even think to react. The
cuffs were slapped over her wrists, then he pushed her
down to the floor when she turned toward him in
Before she could even move, Bat Line had been wrapped
around Batgirl's legs to secure her. Then to make
sure she couldn't even slide, he used some line to
connect her wrists to her legs. Batgirl became
immobile, and just glared at Robin without saying a
thing. Somehow, she thought, the bastard had found
out about the ID switch.
Instead, the words came from Catwoman's mouth. "I'm
glad you got her so fast, Robin. I may look like
Catwoman, but it's thanks to a mask she put over my
head. Don't worry about removing that mask right
away, just get me out of this bondage I got put into."
Robin walked over and looked closely at Catwoman. If
that was a mask, it sure was a good one. Of course,
Batgirl had looked exactly right also, so it was a
good thing Catwoman hadn't thought to use voice
modifiers when she came up with these masks. He
stooped and untied the ropes around her legs, then
the ones holding her arms. The woman in green flexed
her arms and legs briefly, then stood in front of
Robin. "I am Catwoman, so now it's time to put my
Cat's Eye ring to good use."
She walked over to the tied up Batgirl, who tried to
keep her eyes shut. But as Catwoman sat down next
to her, Robin bent and pulled off the mask and cowl,
followed by the red wig and then the mask making her
look like Babs. That mask looked so much like his
original face that he had to save it; he stuck it
under his belt. Then Robin reached to use his
fingers to lift her eyelids. As soon as the powerful
glow from the gem hit her eyes, no more trying to
keep them closed could be done. Her eyes were
drinking in the mind controlling power with
uncontrolled eagerness. Her mind went blank and her
body went lax.
"Selina, you are in a cataleptic trance. You must
do exactly as I tell you," Catwoman told her. "You
have knowledge of Batgirl in your head. Erase that
knowledge so that you know only that Batgirl is a
heroine who will forever be your foe. You must
forget whatever it is you know about using head
covering face masks, never again will you be able to
use them." The ring was lowered, and she asked
Robin, "Do you think I should erase knowledge of
being Catwoman, or at least being a criminal, from
He shook his head. "I don't think that would be
wise. Leave it where we are as of now, then let's
make sure we get her into custody."
"Okay, but why waste the opportunity completely."
She placed the gem back in front of the real
Catwoman's eyes, then said, "You know that you are a
villainess who loves committing crimes connected to
cats in any way, but know also that a more law abiding
part of you exists that someday will make you more
of a help than a vice, Catwoman. Wake up now."
As the ring was pulled away, the woman in the Batgirl
costume from the neck down sneered, "You'll never keep
me behind bars, and you know it."
"So you think, Catwoman," Robin replied. "We'll try,
A quick look around the truck showed a box holding the
three purrloined Batgirl costumes. So with
anticipation Babs started removing the green costume
from her body. Then off came the black wig, followed
by the Selina Kyle face mask. This he handed to
Robin, saying softly so Catwoman couldn't hear, "We
might as well add this to the other masks in the
"I agree," he whispered. "Like this mask looking just
like me, it looks too good to not hang on to." He
tucked the mask under his belt next to the other one.
Babs quickly got into one of the three Batgirl
costumes, including the long red wig the original
had mentioned to her earlier in the evening. Then
while looking down at her nearly perfect twin she
said quietly, "Robin, go out to the Redbird and call
the GCPD for a pickup. Let them know that we would
have liked to stay and help, but it's getting really
late. Let them know that we, that's Batgirl and
Robin, caught Catwoman trying to impersonate me with
the costume she's wearing and that her real costume
is right next to her. Ask them to save this Batgirl
costume she's wearing and I, that means you, really,
will come in to pick it up later on."
"Got it! You gonna be able to strap the box holding
your other two costumes to the Bat Bike?"
"Yep, that's what I'll be doing while you make the
While the Boy Wonder left to go make the radio call,
Batgirl looked down at her tied up and so far silent
lookalike. "You sure came back with a bang after
being gone so long, Catwoman. I just know we're
going to be seeing a lot more of you in the future."
She shook her head, then worked on securing the
remaining two costumes. She then left the tied up
woman behind and went down to join Robin at the
bikes. The box was secured with ease.
"Sgt. Casey at the desk said to not worry about
staying until the police get here to take in
Catwoman," Robin said. "When I told him she was tied
up in the back of a Merita truck, he said that should
"Good, let's get going, then," Babs answered. "I
wasn't kidding when I said it was getting late. I'm
not going to get much sleep tonight before going to
"Hey, Babs," Robin said just before they started,
The two bikes got back on the road heading for the
Bat Cave and a change back into their original
bodies. If they'd stayed five minutes later, the
pair might have seen the Merita truck back out and
then drive away long before the police car got
there. Selina had put her skills to good use; with
the gloves from her Catwoman costume being so close
to her head, she inched over to them and clasped a
claw in her teeth. The claw went through the Bat
Line like a hot knife through butter. Catwoman was
free, but at least the detailed knowledge of Batgirl
and her identity were removed from her mind.
* * *
The real Babs found out that the removal of the body
suits was even faster than putting them on. First
the current Babs became Dick once again, then Dick
turned back into Babs. When they finished Dick made
a check in with Alfred, who mentioned that Master
Bruce was back now. The young man knew that lack of
sleep for school would only be the first of his
Barbara wasn't set for another night shift which would
have been nice, but at least a couple of cups of
coffee would help her to come alive after such a short
The next evening, Dick found that Bruce wasn't about
to ground him or anything. Even though it turned out
that Catwoman escaped again, he laid that blame on
the GCPD who'd told the pair to leave her behind.
Bruce had Babs come out to the Manor also after
dinner, and all three had a long discussion about the
history and future use of the body suit capability.
* * *
Catwoman did manage to put together a huge collection
of cats, and she beat Penguin to the punch by just
getting to Phoenix Castle earlier in the day when word
came he was making a try. As Mxy had predicted, she
found Lois Lane making a visit to the castle that day,
also. After her Catbird dropped a knockout bomb to
put the reporter to sleep, she had her kittens lock
her up in one of the cages amongst all the cats taking
the birds' place. At the same time, Catwoman went to
a table and pictured Miss Lane in her mind wearing a
costume identical to her own...but with Lois' original
hair, not with her own long hair...
So begins how Catwoman was seen in all the DC stories
I hope you've enjoyed reading this.
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