I need to give
It has been a while that I consciously do something for someone. It feels like my heart is losing space and becoming narrow. Thus, when opportunity strikes, I happily arrange a small birthday celebration for a friend. Though its just a simple celebration, I was really happy doing it. My friend thanked me for that, but I think Im the one who need to thank him.
Usually when we give to others, they will thank us. But I really think that we are the ones who have to thank the people we give to, because they have given us the opportunity to give. Its not the other people who need my dana, rather its me who need to do dana.
It puzzled me how sometimes I can be so stingy with my time, my energy, my money, my effort. The stinginess puts me in a narrow and lonely island, leaves me there only by myself. Yet times and again, I would fall into it again. Doing something for others, in whatever form, on the other hand, gives me a lot of energy and happiness.
This seems very logical and common sense, but sometimes when Im in stingy mood, I dont know how to give generously. I just cant think of any reason to give. Any act of giving seems to take away something from me, and make me lose something. And when I am in generous mood, I wonder why I could be so stingy. When I feel so happy and light being generous, I cant understand why I still maintain this stinginess. Why not let it go?
So now, when I feel so happy doing something wholehearted for someone, I try to remember this happiness, so that I can remember it when I am in stingy mood, so that I can get out of the cycle of stinginess by reminding myself of the joy of giving.