Yeah I know..I'm talking to myself.
Now on a completely other note:
ALWAYS have as a life partner/drugbuddy/idiot friend someone that
drinks as half the amount of booze as you do. OtheWISE < see? wise..
the whole drinking thing will be a minefield of faux pas and
excrement covered apologies unless you follow my rules, so tread
carefully. MAKE SURE he/she/it drinks at least as much as you.
That way he will not reach Drunkenbummedness status as we have aspired
to, yet manage to make sure the bills are paid on time and the dinners
are on the table as are needed..
Anything more than 1/2 will upset the beer cart and will certainly
lead to fights and wailings and gnashings of teeth (but maybe not in
that order). I have a 7/8ths partner (let's call him 'Asshole' because
that is his name, although he does answer to the shouted name 'Stupid'
and will turn around (like all the other strangers in hearing distance
in a store) to: 'pssst.. stoopid'
Even my DAWG will do that although I don't usually take her to the store.
You have a 1/2 partner and you have the upper hand. You can cajole him
with his latest escapades when he starts on your own.
Psst...make 'em up.
(psst..I was tempted to say: pssst ..hey stoopid)
Then when he feels contrite you can have MAKE UP SEX!
This is good. I must protect this with a patent.
So even though YOU were muuch drunker than he, you have a higher
tolerance to alcamahol and can accuse him of dastardly deeds that will
so embarrass him that YOUR next drunken faux pas will be entirely
overlooked by one look from you.
Ah the joys of make up sex and a 'free pass to be an ass' the next
time you try to juggle the dog.
On the other hand, life here is shit. I didn't think that life could
get this bad till once again I woke up and nothing had changed.
The advantages of having a 7/8ths partner is that you are always
fighting for the crown (the drunken asshole crown)and it becomes very
tedious and repetitititive. Today I hold the crown but for how long? I
have to furtively look behind me all the time to see if anyone is
sneaking up on me to RIIP it from my fine UP-standing hair. I get no
respect save the dawg and the 'outsiders'.
THEY give me respect because they are too scared NOT to.
(the meek shall inherit the earth because they are too scared to refuse)
Perhaps one day I will wear my dawg perched upon my head out in public
and the outsiders will say
'Sayyyy...that's a nice respectful (if not frightened) dawg, I have
REAL respect for ppl who can carry that look off'.
Or perhaps it is a pipe dream.
Either way the dawg in question is hiding.
So in conclusion...get him drunk and YOU get the crown, make up sex
AND get drunk too.
Oh wait, I already am.