Good one dear keep it up a new wave in magic is required to keep the
magic flag flying best wishes
On 10/4/07, lockedassistant <lockedassistant@...> wrote:
> I wrote this message on sawingcelebritiesinhalf, in rebellion
> against spam messages. I repeat it here, now.
> I want to dedicate this little dream to Ms Tiger, Amber and Lynx,
> because of their tastes of magic (Petra and Zilvara: wait your turn!
> You'll have news soon). Well, this is another "saws and
> blades and divisions" story, but there is time for other, though.
> So, let's start!
> "The audience is waiting, in the dark... Lights on... the show has
> They see a railroad, in the middle a thin model with the shape of a
> The magician comes on stage. Instead of a station master, as people
> could think, he's dressed like a contest judge.
> "Welcome, audience, to the fight of the year!! At my left, a
> powerful old style sawmill is anxious to smash its adversary, its
> teeth are shaper than ever. At my right, a new type of circular saw,
> no teeth but a singular sharp circle, is waiting for its first
> match. They're collocated on the railroad, engines ready. And now,
> you know, this is a fight for the choose of the best machinery for
> sawing a woman in half. So, people, let's make an applause for our
> battle field, my assistant!!"
> Walking trought applauses, the gorgeus assistant reaches the
> magician. Smart and cool, awesome and wealthy, I ever haven't seen
> a "field" like that...
> The magician grabs the "field", and goes to the opened thin model.
> She wakes up on the table, and then sits down inside. Her neck is
> locked at a side, her feet are trapped at the other. Her hands are
> cuffes over holes on the upper side of the upper part of the
> illusion. All is complete.
> "So, audience, the battle is near to begin. Engines started, I'll
> leave the honour to sanction the beginning of the match to my
> assistant!" He puts the microphone near her mouth. And the lady,
> lips attached to the microphone like a singer, says: "3, 2, my
> gosh.. 1... GO!!"
> The roaring saws begin their approach to the field, fulling the air
> with their sound. They march like beasts that study each other
> before attacking. They're near to the "field", whose heartbeats
> invade her ears more than the blades' squeaks.
> "Ladies and gentlemen, they're arrived on the "field"!! Her abdomen
> is easily sliced, thanks to the rotation speed of the saws. Just a
> second before the real match...
> It's begun! The decision to lock the thin model to the ground seems
> a good one. The ground is vibrating since here, I can't imagine what
> our brave field is feeling. The fight continues merciless, sparks
> begin to appear. I'll try to catch the impressions of the "field"."
> He puts the microphone near her mouth, and over the twirling of the
> saws people hear this: "OHHH...oooooo-hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!".
> "Ladies and gentlemen, the fight seems to be near to the end!! In a
> sea of sparks, our contenders seem to fuse each other... but look!
> The truth is another! The old style sawmill has confirmed its
> supremacy on the too confident new type!! Look!! That's incredible!!
> It seems I don't need of metal dividers for the train sawing!! The
> sawmill's adversary has been sliced in 2, just like my lovely
> assistant!". And this is how he does: removing the winner from the
> field, and unlocking the loser from its engine and the thin model to
> the floor, the beautiful "field" is finally splitted, and her halves
> are reversed in a magic alternative to yoga's touching the head with
> feet. The contact with her barefeet, cold for the tension, reveals
> an effect. In front of a videocamera, her face is shown to the
> audience with a screen, she appeared happily unconscious. Now
> conscious of her state, she plays with her feet, caressing her own
> cheecks with them. The magician's question: "So, how do you feel?".
> ---- I left the response to my friends-------
> The time to restore the "battlefield" has come. The magician runs
> and joins her halves, then carefully remove the pieces of the loser
> saw outside the assistant and the thin model. Hands, feet and neck
> are unlocked, and with a last charge of adrenaline, the gorgeus
> assistant raises, shaking a little.
> The applause is a little, but appreciate prize. Applauses after
> applauses, assistant and magician quit.
> Another show is near to start..."
> So, ladies and gentlemen, this is my story. I just hope I haven't
> done serious language mistakes. And you, readers, could amuse it.
Wonderking Ashok Bhandari
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