Fun with a Manpanzee(tm). (humour)
- Manpanzees can be lots of fun, even if you are one. Here's some fun ideas:
If you are a Manpanzee(tm), try this. Become a Postal Inspector, FBI agent,
CIA agent, or some other type of spy. Change your name to Lance Link. Next
time a cop pulls you over for speeding, watch the look on his face as he
your name and looks at you and the picture. Think: "Lance Link, Secret
Works best if you drive a stealth car and you are a spy for an obscure
agency, especially if you have onboard someone named Scully or Moulder and
are near Area 51.
Go to a creationism/evolution debate with your pet Manpanzee(tm) or if you
one yourself. Watch the fun as creationists can't figure out how to answer.
Take your pet to Jabriol's home and let your pet loose off his leash.
If you are a Manpanzee(tm) go to a zoo and visit the primate cellblock. Be
sure to have your drivers licence and an alibi ready! Watch as the
incarcerated chimps go ape-shit.
Train your pet Manpanzee(tm) to live in a forest as a survivalist. Watch the
news for Bigfoot sightings! If you are one, do the same, but wear a
Take your pet to a gay bar, and watch as gays into "bears" try their pickup
lines. "My cell at the zoo or yours..."
If you are a human going undercover as a Manpanzee(tm) go to a muscle beach.
Watch as the androids stare at your fur coat. Pick a cooler day for this to
Take your pet Manpanzee(tm) to a park with monkey bars. Let him teach the
human kids how to brachiate, switch from swing to swing, etc.
Shave your pet Manpanzee(tm) and take him to a swimming instructor. Watch as
the teacher is driven ape-shit as "your kid" can't pick up on how to swim.
If you are human, make yourself into a Manpanzee(tm) and troll in gay bars.
When gays who are into "bears" ask you out, tell them you are not their
Even funnier if they are also a "bear". HINT: Rogaine is good for this. The
more fur you have the better.
If you are an undercover human and meet Antonio Santana, tell him you are a
member of the Watchtower's secret police looking for people to
Turn him in anyways. Works best if you are an undercover Womanpanzee(tm). He
will be looking for furry women!
If you are a real Manpanzee(tm) shave yourself once and volunteer at a
church and let your fur regrow. Listen to the comments as you regrow your
which is your birthright. Should work for the furry humans and the
For any redux of the Scopes Monkey Trial, take your pet and rent him out. If
you are one, go for hire as the Exhibit A. If you are shy, use some Xanax.
In places where bestiality is legal, get some Womanpanzees(tm). You go as
pimp. Make some good money. You might have to shave your troupe first.
If you are a Manpanzee(tm), an undercover human, etc. go to a rainforest
some bonobos with a bowl of fruit. Get laid cheap. For a safer adventure,
dye/bleach your fur and go to Borneo and make out with an orangutan. No
of paternity suits in all cases! Damn human women! At least the bonobos
invent divorce court.
If you're a Manpanzee(tm), shave your face and cut your head hair. Most
employers don't have policies about body hair... yet! Note you may want to
keep it trimmed. But there IS a hair loophole! :)
If you're an undercover human, practise at becoming ambidextrous. That'll
remove any doubt from the minds of creationists that you are "part monkey".
After all, proving evolution is a good reason to go undercover in the first
Have fun, no matter how much of an ape you are! (or want to be)
FOOD FOR THOUGHT: 100 calories are used up in the course of a mile run.
The USDA guidelines for dietary fibre is equal to one ounce of sawdust.
The liver makes the vast majority of the cholesterol in your bloodstream.
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