15814Re: [Covenanted Reformation] Re: major versus minor & (ATTENTION COVENANTERS)
- Jun 5, 2007
Dear Susan, Deejay and others who responded privately... I want to thank all of you for your love and support. I did not mean I have felt judged by anyone per se (and that includes you, Jerry)... but it seems to be written into our code as covenanters to be judgmental of anyone who does not agree with us... and for some of us it has become an impossible situation. I very much appreciate all of you.
Susan Wilkinson wrote:
Tom and I would like to say that we understand that you are in a very difficult circumstance and we do NOT feel harsh judgment of you at all. In fact, I can think of 2 other women in very difficult circumstances with children to consider and no husbands at all. I think that anyone who wants to judge harshly should be ready with an answer for you as to what you ~should~ do. Personally, Tom and I don’t know what you should do nor do we know what we would do in your circumstances. Our hearts go out to you and we pray that the Lord will sustain you and guide you and unite your family in truth.
From: covenantedreformati onclub@yahoogrou ps.com [mailto: covenantedreformati onclub@yahoogrou ps.com ] On Behalf Of Willena Flewelling
Sent: Thursday, May 31, 2007 2:18 AM
To: covenantedreformati onclub@yahoogrou ps.com
Subject: Re: [Covenanted Reformation] Re: major versus minor & (ATTENTION COVENANTERS)
> Please don't think that I was suggesting that we ditch any of the doctrines that delineate us as covenanters!
Good, but I understand that not everyone who has been excommunicated is of your opinion anymore. Which brings something up...
IF YOU ARE REMAIN COVENANTER, I MEAN "THE SIX TERMS OF COMMUNION" TYPE OF REFORMED PRESBYTERIAN, AND HAVE EITHER BEEN EXCOMMUNICATED OR OTHERWISE ARE UNABLE TO JOIN WITH OTHER CONGREGATIONS IN GOOD CONSCIENCE, PLEASE EMAIL ME PRIVATELY -- ragingcalvinist@ verizon.net -- I have an idea I want to talk about.
Whatever your idea is, I hope it will be a blessing to all the unjustly X'd.
And I sincerely hope so too, Jerry. I can only speak for myself and not others who have been excommunicated, but as one who has made some decisions recently that would likely disappoint you deeply, I can say that none of those decisions were easy ones. With all my heart I wish it were possible for me to stand visibly and unwaveringly on the covenanter doctrines, which I still own. But the last two years have been very difficult in many ways, and losing membership in the RPNA was a deeper blow with far greater repercussions than I thought possible. The battle did not end with my excommunication, but is ongoing, with one daughter still a member in good standing, and confusion tearing at some of my other children. I am so thankful that none of them are having problems with assurance of salvation, but it could come to that.
Excommunication and rejection by the elders of the RPNA has placed me in an even more difficult and isolated position than most of you who worship alone, for not only am I without any elder or pastoral oversight at all, but I am without a spiritual leader in my home. I have spent the past eleven years alienated from my husband. I gave up everything we had in that realm, as a wedge was driven between us. And for what? To be cast out of the visible church of Christ ? I don't have it in me to fight any more, or to stand alone.
Jerry, your email confuses me, because I am ashamed of myself for not having the strength to stand alone. It doesn't bother me to stand against the elders or my daughter, for I believe they are in the wrong and are the ones who have wronged us. But you and Deejay and a number of others stand alone. You have not allowed your circumstances to dictate your actions. You know what you believe, and you are standing on it in the face of oppositon from all sides. I feel as if I have let you all down by apparently ditching some of our covenanter doctrines. But if I adhere strictly to the six terms of communion as we have been led to understand them, I stand alone. Responsible for seven children, three of whom are still under my care, with no husband. I have already spent twelve years doing what "true" covenanters think I should do, and I am no longer sure it is the right thing. With children looking up to me, I don't want to make any more mistakes. We need fellowship. We need accountability. We need guidance outside of our family.
We can no longer afford to drive the family to the city and back each week to worship with our excommunicated brethren. To worship at home alone would mean my husband worshipping with us, and therefore taking the lead, which would be no different from worshipping with others of conflicting beliefs. And that is only one small part of my dilemma, which I cannot begin to express here. Let it suffice to say the months since my excommunication have been ones of deep struggles, not only in myself but in my children, and the struggles are far from over. There are brick walls everywhere I turn. We don't even have the option of a good Reformed church within reasonable driving distance. I am still asking the question... when will it end? The confusion, the battering, the uncertainty, the not knowing???
I said when I started attending a local church with my husband and children, that God knows my heart, and my desire to glorify and enjoy Him... and I can trust Him not to strike me down dead or otherwise judge me harshly, but to show me in His loving ways, if I am doing wrong. It has been seven weeks now. My husband is happy and taking over his rightful role as head and leader in our home. My children are happy, with the exception of a few. All are seeking Him in ways we haven't done for a long time. I don't see my doubts at this point, as being His still small voice. I do see my husband's peace and contentment as His still small voice. I look forward to the day when I am happy and content too, knowing with my whole heart in agreement that I am truly walking in the way He has set before me.
My story is my own, and I speak for no one else. But I ask all of you who are able to stand on your covenanter convictions, please PLEASE not to judge the rest of us too harshly. No one knows the struggles each one is going through, or the way the Lord is leading each of us. I pray that all of us will learn to do what we understand the scriptures to be telling us to do, without judging others when they come to a different understanding. .. even if we supposedly "know better."
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