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from Mark Wirtz, somewhere in the depth of 'Gator land...

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  • Mark Wirtz aka, Michael Sinclair
    Premature P.S.: Hey, Mick --- I would love to call the below mentioned show the complete and utter rubbish hour, because I can t come up with anything as
    Message 1 of 7 , Sep 2, 2005
      Premature P.S.:

      Hey, Mick --- I would love to call the below mentioned show 'the complete and utter
      rubbish hour,' because I can't come up with anything as good, let alone better, for the life
      of me.

      Is there any way we could work something out, naturally giving this group and its moniker
      acknowledgment credit or something?

      Bestest,

      Mark ;)

      Now, the actual post:


      Hiya, fellow banality poopers,


      As a kind and encouraging comfort gesture toward all of us "aging" Rockers -- I would like
      to draw your attention to a first book written by a rather remarkable "old guy," which has
      been speeding on an express lane journey toward bestseller status: "How I lived to be
      125, and my doctor tells me I have another 60, or 70, good years to go!" by distinguished
      and still fully active deep-sea diver and martial arts champion Harry Schmutzling.

      The success of this book demonstrates that, even for a novice author, mature age may not
      be a handicap, but an advantage.

      Mr. Schmutzling, a Santa Barbara, CA, USA, resident, 4-times widowed father of 17
      children (all of which are still speaking to him), is currently engaged to be married to his
      5th wife, stunningly beautiful, 19 year-old, "Miss Arkansas" contender and molecular
      scientist Melinda Pearl, mother of 3.

      Mr. Schmutzling wrote his book underwater, in breaks during a classified military mission,
      while waiting for his assigned Navy Seals diver team to catch up with him.

      Anyone interested in learning more about Mr. Schmutzling, and/or wishing to ask him
      questions, is invited to tune in to H.B. Marcus and my interview with him during an
      upcoming segment of the "Marcus and Mark" show (Marcus' name comes first because he
      is taller than me and has more hair) on Global Talk Radio.

      Marcus and I are currently puttering with pilots of the show, for now having hi-jacked,
      gagged, bound and locked up regular show host Lillian Cauldwell and pirated several of
      her weekly spots to test our anarchistic antics.

      Those of you who would like to learn to love, or hate, or love to hate, Marcus or me, or
      both, can catch an archive of our first outing -- part 1 of a two-part show revolving
      entirely around my book and Rev-Ola Records soundtrack CD "Love Is Eggshaped," replete
      with music tracks played and book quotes recited -- which is streaming 24/7 at:

      http://www.GlobalTalkRadio.com/shows/TheLillianCauldwellShow
      (Part 2 of the show is scheduled for October 11th at 7:00 p.m., New York time.

      The live-, unscripted, uncensored, show is intended for mature audiences. Parental
      guidance is strongly advised due to language and content.


      Cheers,

      Mark

      "Much of what I say is Truth In the Nude. Much of what I say is totally made up. And
      sometimes, I lie to tell the truth. That's my job. I'm an artist."
      mw ;)
    • mick capewell
      ... **** Well of course you can t come up with anything better. I mean to say, we all know that love is tadpole shaped don t we, and that s just for starters!
      Message 2 of 7 , Sep 2, 2005
        >
        > Premature P.S.:

        **** I keep getting spam that tells me how to get rid of that...


        >
        > Hey, Mick --- I would love to call the below mentioned show 'the complete
        > and utter > rubbish hour,' because I can't come up with anything as good,
        > let alone better, for the life > of me.

        **** Well of course you can't come up with anything better. I mean to say,
        we all know that love is tadpole shaped don't we, and that's just for
        starters!
        As for using the phrase "Complete and Utter Rubbish" I suppose I'm
        agreeable...under certain conditions, namely:

        1--No Paul Anka
        2--The colour is green
        3--The words "refuse", "trash" and "debris" are not to be used more than
        five times in any given programme. However the word "Rubbish" has no such
        limits.
        4--No Paul Anka
        5--Shoe size must be 10(UK), and hat size must be seven and three eighths.
        6--No Neil Sedaka either
        7--No use of the phrases "At this moment in time" or "At the top of the
        hour"
        8--No Paul Anka or Neil Sedaka
        9--No sushi
        10--No Paul Anka, Neil Sedaka or anyone that wears sleeveless pullovers.

        Good luck with the show. I will make an effort to listen. The minimum effort
        of course.

        > Bestest,

        **** What does this mean? Is it a typing error? What is a "Best est"? Or is
        it "Be stest"? Hmm...be stest. How do I get to be a stest? Is it good to be
        a stest? Or is it something like "Be good" or "Be happy"? Or is it an
        acronym? Hmm....let's see...Bush eats sticky toffee eclairs slowly today?
        Billy Eckstine's shaky tonsils equal sheer transcendence?
      • Mark Wirtz aka, Michael Sinclair
        I m fine with all the conditions, except for --- no sushi. I m sorry, but I can t agree to that. Now that I am too old to get laid without paying for it, not
        Message 3 of 7 , Sep 2, 2005
          I'm fine with all the conditions, except for --- no sushi. I'm sorry, but I can't agree to that.
          Now that I am too old to get laid without paying for it, not to mention that I have to use
          Viagra to merely masturbate, consuming Sushi is my only erotic experience in life these
          days. If I don't have that, I'll have no more creative ideas and you wouldn't want that on
          your conscience, would you?? So, forget it. Just shove your rubbish, and I'll shove my Sushi
          up my nose and into my ears, as I so relish.

          Unless, of course, you are willing to negotiate. How about no more Octopus Sushi (and
          that would be a sacrifice, damnit!), but let me still put my tongue around some nice Tuna
          Sashimi. How about that? Come on, mate, be fair!

          Well???

          Mark

          In completeandutterrubbish@yahoogroups.com, "mick capewell" <mick@C...> wrote:
          >
          >
          >
          >
          > >
          > > Premature P.S.:
          >
          > **** I keep getting spam that tells me how to get rid of that...
          >
          >
          > >
          > > Hey, Mick --- I would love to call the below mentioned show 'the complete
          > > and utter > rubbish hour,' because I can't come up with anything as good,
          > > let alone better, for the life > of me.
          >
          > **** Well of course you can't come up with anything better. I mean to say,
          > we all know that love is tadpole shaped don't we, and that's just for
          > starters!
          > As for using the phrase "Complete and Utter Rubbish" I suppose I'm
          > agreeable...under certain conditions, namely:
          >
          > 1--No Paul Anka
          > 2--The colour is green
          > 3--The words "refuse", "trash" and "debris" are not to be used more than
          > five times in any given programme. However the word "Rubbish" has no such
          > limits.
          > 4--No Paul Anka
          > 5--Shoe size must be 10(UK), and hat size must be seven and three eighths.
          > 6--No Neil Sedaka either
          > 7--No use of the phrases "At this moment in time" or "At the top of the
          > hour"
          > 8--No Paul Anka or Neil Sedaka
          > 9--No sushi
          > 10--No Paul Anka, Neil Sedaka or anyone that wears sleeveless pullovers.
          >
          > Good luck with the show. I will make an effort to listen. The minimum effort
          > of course.
          >
          > > Bestest,
          >
          > **** What does this mean? Is it a typing error? What is a "Best est"? Or is
          > it "Be stest"? Hmm...be stest. How do I get to be a stest? Is it good to be
          > a stest? Or is it something like "Be good" or "Be happy"? Or is it an
          > acronym? Hmm....let's see...Bush eats sticky toffee eclairs slowly today?
          > Billy Eckstine's shaky tonsils equal sheer transcendence?
        • Mark Wirtz aka, Michael Sinclair
          P.S. Re: Bestest. That is very, very, trendy, dignifuied, graceful, bullshit talk. You know, trying to sound hip or cool, or in this case, coolest. I
          Message 4 of 7 , Sep 2, 2005
            P.S.

            Re: "Bestest."

            That is very, very, trendy, dignifuied, graceful, bullshit talk. You know, trying to sound
            "hip" or "cool," or in this case, "coolest."

            I stole this expression from 12-step group lingo and made it my own, aka, "owned it."
            Like, empowerdest, enablest, "my name is mark wirtzest and I am an exhibitonistest..."

            You know, the kind of stuff that is totally private and secretest to us and you mofos make
            fun of in this group. So, go ahead, judge me... Be cruel. Forget that it's my birthday
            tomorrow. Just dance and make merry as this composer is decomposing. Fine. I don't care.
            OK? Do you hear me? I don't friggin' care! What you see dripping from my eyes is just
            sweat from the heat in this darn place. You're all shit!! I am great, because I accidentally
            wrote some song about a friggin' grocer 40 years ago... whatever his name was, damnit
            (why do these Altzheimer pills tale so long to kick in???)

            I gotta go... The nurse is here... Is THAT the nurse? Oh shit... or is that..... ?????

            Later,

            Mark



            --- In completeandutterrubbish@yahoogroups.com, "mick capewell" <mick@C...> wrote:
            >
            >
            >
            >
            > >
            > > Premature P.S.:
            >
            > **** I keep getting spam that tells me how to get rid of that...
            >
            >
            > >
            > > Hey, Mick --- I would love to call the below mentioned show 'the complete
            > > and utter > rubbish hour,' because I can't come up with anything as good,
            > > let alone better, for the life > of me.
            >
            > **** Well of course you can't come up with anything better. I mean to say,
            > we all know that love is tadpole shaped don't we, and that's just for
            > starters!
            > As for using the phrase "Complete and Utter Rubbish" I suppose I'm
            > agreeable...under certain conditions, namely:
            >
            > 1--No Paul Anka
            > 2--The colour is green
            > 3--The words "refuse", "trash" and "debris" are not to be used more than
            > five times in any given programme. However the word "Rubbish" has no such
            > limits.
            > 4--No Paul Anka
            > 5--Shoe size must be 10(UK), and hat size must be seven and three eighths.
            > 6--No Neil Sedaka either
            > 7--No use of the phrases "At this moment in time" or "At the top of the
            > hour"
            > 8--No Paul Anka or Neil Sedaka
            > 9--No sushi
            > 10--No Paul Anka, Neil Sedaka or anyone that wears sleeveless pullovers.
            >
            > Good luck with the show. I will make an effort to listen. The minimum effort
            > of course.
            >
            > > Bestest,
            >
            > **** What does this mean? Is it a typing error? What is a "Best est"? Or is
            > it "Be stest"? Hmm...be stest. How do I get to be a stest? Is it good to be
            > a stest? Or is it something like "Be good" or "Be happy"? Or is it an
            > acronym? Hmm....let's see...Bush eats sticky toffee eclairs slowly today?
            > Billy Eckstine's shaky tonsils equal sheer transcendence?
          • Jim McAlwane
            According to the Melody Maker, dated Sept 16th 1967 you ve been naughty, you were arested the Friday before for not paying outstanding parking fines amounting
            Message 5 of 7 , Sep 3, 2005
              According to the Melody Maker, dated Sept 16th 1967
              you've been naughty, you were arested the Friday
              before for not paying outstanding parking fines
              amounting to £150.00, the fines had gone back for over
              the last year and you spent a night in the cell until
              the money was paid :-)
              For the record, also in the same issue, it mentions
              that Cliff Richard was in talks to join Keith West in
              the film version of the Teenage Opera.

              McCobbler











              ___________________________________________________________
              Yahoo! Messenger - NEW crystal clear PC to PC calling worldwide with voicemail http://uk.messenger.yahoo.com
            • mick capewell
              ... **** OK then...let them eat sushi. ( Oh Sushi Q ah still want you...mah Sushi Q...) Instead...no....Halibut!
              Message 6 of 7 , Sep 3, 2005
                > I'm fine with all the conditions, except for --- no sushi. I'm sorry, but
                > I can't agree to that.

                **** OK then...let them eat sushi. ( Oh Sushi Q ah still want you...mah
                Sushi Q...)

                Instead...no....Halibut!
              • sigtunadogyellow
                ... sorry, but ... **Sushi Quatro? lol
                Message 7 of 7 , Sep 4, 2005
                  --- In completeandutterrubbish@yahoogroups.com, "mick capewell"
                  <mick@C...> wrote:
                  >
                  >
                  >
                  > > I'm fine with all the conditions, except for --- no sushi. I'm
                  sorry, but
                  > > I can't agree to that.
                  >
                  > **** OK then...let them eat sushi. ( Oh Sushi Q ah still want you...mah
                  > Sushi Q...)
                  >
                  > Instead...no....Halibut!


                  **Sushi Quatro? lol
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