Re: [cp] Need your help...
- Hi Steve
Steve Song wrote:
.... The FOCUSed conversation method of ICA (http://www.icacan.ca) has a great way of getting emotions and bad experiences out of the way before discussing a topic..... .....I can also recommend Robert Kegan's book "How the Way We Talk Can Change the Way We Work: Seven Languages for Transformation" (http://www.researchmatters.harvard.edu/story.php?article_id=56)....
Also the principles of "nonviolent communication" as they are used and teached by Marshall Rosenberg are very helpful. Here you will find a lot of informaation and training (world wide offered): http://www.cnvc.org/
Nonviolent Communicationsm (NVC) is a process that strengthens our ability to inspire compassion from others and respond compassionately to others and ourselves. NVC guides us to reframe how we express ourselves and how we hear others by focusing our consciousness on what we are observing, feeling, needing, and requesting.
Nonviolent Communication is practical and proven in daily life around the world, Nonviolent Communication is a reliable language for being heard, hearing others, clearly and confidently expressing our needs and dreams, and for working through conflict with compassion and success.
NVC does not innovate. The principles are known ... BUT: there is a difference between KNOWING something and BEING ABLE TO USE AND APPLY that knowledge in everday life and in conflict etc.
NVC supplies (based on known principles) four steps which are "easy to remind - but hard to apply" which are the essential elements for a quality human connection and communication.
The specific steps and elements bound to these principles are helpful to look for in listening - as well as speaking - in an ongoing communication.
NVC is an APPLIED philosophy. Marshall has developed NVC as a set of INSTRUCTIONAL METHODS and TRAINING TECHNIQUES together with others to make the application of the insights PRACTICAL:
* There are exercises to strengthen and quicken linguistic perception.
* There are exercises to develop FLUENCY.
* There are exercises to develop EMPATHY.
* ...and so forth.
NVC is PRACTICAL; a student sees results immediately in daily life.
>> NVC gives teeth and fingers to all the spiritual stuff
>> we've been learning for years.
From a more "intellectual" point of view, it NVC puts a greater emphasis on CORE needs like serving life, celebration, autonomy, etc. as the magic way to really connect with the humanness of others, and see it's the same as ours.
NVC has as the 4th (and last) step for any communication the "present request" to express what I ask my partner(s) to contribute "now and here" to make my live "more wonderful". See:
This final step is missing in many other communication concepts.