Re: what is a 'turn'?
- Not sure with phone conversations... (although with my *mom*, you can
never get a word in edge-wise <sigh>)
I've lived on Guam for 12 years--and had a chance to see Islander,
East Asian, and Southeast Asian (Micronesia, Japan, Korea, China,
Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, MyanMar, and so on) culture firsthand.
Definitely a *silence-means-respect* type of situation. (But then
again, my parents are from British/Dutch/German ancestry--and there's
the saying that "Children can be seen, but not heard." <and preferably
My wife is from the Philippines. From a traditional family in which
the elders and higher-educated reign.
When we first were married--during family get-togethers at my folks'
home... my sister and my mom (who are "motor-mouths"--very rapid
talkers who also talk over each other) would be dominating the
conversation. My Dad would pitch in once in a while, but my wife and I
would usually remain silent. Later, my mom asked if my wife was
unhappy because she "didn't participate in the conversation"--I had to
explain that with the way my sis and mom were talking, there was no
way for her to enter the conversation without feeling like she was
interrupting or being disrespectful. My explanation never seemed to
soak in, however.
My wife was familiar with the *visual cues* that would indicate a
point at which she could *jump into the conversation*... the visual
cues happen so quickly and are so subtle that they are easily missed.
Although I'm a professional writer/editor, I sometimes take so long to
process what I want to say that my *gateway opening* into the
conversation has long expired ... and thus, I usually just swallow it
and remain quiet.
At home, however, it's a different story... my wife will start talking
and I'll have a hard job getting a word in edgewise.... and... if I
ask her to *repeat* what she said (because I might not have been
paying much attention), she'll only repeat *one word or two words*.
Without the context of the rest of the sentence I still will have no
clue what she was talking about. Aargh!
When her family is all together in the same room--they all speak
Kampampangan or a mix of Tagalog, Kampampangan, and a few forays into
English (sometimes called "Taglish"). And they are *all* talking over
each other (in three languages!)... and I still haven't figured out
the visual cues for when to jump in with my $0.02. So I, again,
usually just keep quiet.
Usually have to bring a book or something else to read during family
visits--because there's no point in trying to join any conversations.
--- In firstname.lastname@example.org, kim sunyoung <kitty_ctc@...>
> 1)Is overlap more frequent in face-to-face interaction
> and much less frequent in phone conversation?
> 2)Some cultures consider silence as an expression of
> respect. The motto "good kids do not interrupt talking
> of others" is so embedded in most East Asians. It is
> considered very rude to cut in especially when
> superiors or elders have not finished talking.