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Mr. and Mrs. America buy a new car, and it's NOT an Augmentation

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  • johncanning3
    Tonight s alert is a little different, in the form of an humorous and entertaining (hopefully) story. If you have already called your members of Congress
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 15 6:33 AM
      Tonight's alert is a little different, in the form of an humorous and
      entertaining (hopefully) story. If you have already called your
      of Congress tollfree at 800-828-0498, 800-459-1887 or 800-614-2803,
      voice opposition to the Bush/Cheney escalation, please consider
      forwarding this email to all your friends.

      ACTION PAGE: http://www.peaceteam.net/no_escalation2.php

      Late this last fall, as November approached, Mr. and Mrs. America
      decided to go shopping for a new car. Almost from the day they had
      it six years earlier, their current car, a Liberator model, had been
      very unreliable. Its instruments were constantly telling them things
      knew from their own senses to be untrue. The gas gauge would
      empty when they had just topped up the tank, or the speedometer would
      show them at over the speed limit when parked in their driveway.

      Worse yet, the only time it seemed to run strong was when headed off
      breakneck speed for distant cities. And even there it had proven
      difficult to control, swerving wildly and always smashing into other
      there. Most of the time it behaved as if someone else were driving
      Repair and insurance costs were becoming shocking, even awesome, with
      no end in sight. In a word, it was too large, and ill-suited for
      the protection errands they really needed to do closer to home.

      So it was that they set out to return to the dealership that sold
      their Liberator. The salesman stepped forward as he saw them walking
      onto the lot. "We just got in all the new models." he enthused. Mr.
      America interrupted him. "The Liberator you sold us last time has
      us nothing but problems . . . we've decided to downsize." The
      countered, "But the new models are so POWERFUL, the ads are all over
      the TV newscasts. Take the new Escalation for example, everybody's
      to want one." Mr. and Mrs. America both frowned. "The Escalation
      a very bad reputation," said Mrs. America. "Our family bought one 40
      years ago and it was a total disaster. We lost a family member in

      "Never mind," urged the salesman, "take a look at this one. It's
      another brand-new model called the Surge." The name sounded
      intriguing, and
      Mr. and Mrs. America were willing to look. But when they saw it they
      immediately reacted. "I don't think you're hearing us," spoke Mr.
      America, "we wanted something smaller, this one looks just like the
      Escalation to me." "But wait," interjected the salesman, "the deal
      is, it may
      LOOK like an increase in size now, but in a couple months when the
      factory has a smaller replacement vehicle ready, you can trade it in
      what you really want." "Gee, I don't know," said Mrs. America
      hesitantly, "how do we know when the replacement model will actually
      be ready?"

      The salesman seemed a bit less confident now and started to hem and
      haw. "Well you know, there are always unexpected delays in producing
      new product, labor strikes, things like that. But our estimates are
      shouldn't be more than a couple months, a year at the outside." Mr.
      Mrs. America could not bear the thought of being stuck with an
      oversized clunker for another year. "No," said Mr. America, "we're
      not going to go for the Surge."

      By now the salesman was starting to sweat profusely. He knew that
      boss had already committed the entire capital resources of the
      dealership to buy a fleet of new Escalations, together with Surges
      and all its
      other sub-models. They were taking delivery on them already on the
      back lot. And the word had come down that any salesman who did not
      the new lines would be fired on the spot. So many dedicated,
      experienced and hard-working career employees had been terminated
      already. "OK, OK," stammered the salesman. "I've got just the thing
      you, here it is, it's called the Augmentation."

      Mr. and Mrs. America were becoming increasingly annoyed, even angry.
      They could not for their lives tell the fundamental difference
      this Augmentation and the other models the salesman had already tried
      push on them. It was still too big for them and the one thing they
      knew for sure was that they wanted something smaller that would give
      better service at home. They just shook their heads and started to
      walk off the lot.

      The salesman came running after them in a panic. "How about a
      It's just a little Boost." he pleaded. "Is it smaller than the car
      have now?", asked Mrs. America. "No," admitted the salesman, as his
      face turned increasingly red, "but the Boost is only a SUBCOMPACT
      increase in size." "We're not interested in anything you've got,"
      Mr. America firmly as Mrs. America also shook her head.

      It was then that they noticed another dealership across the street,
      they thought they'd give them a chance. They told the salesman
      "we are interested in a new car, something less unwieldy than what we
      have now, and everything we've seen so far has been just the
      "Yes, I know," said the salesman, "a lot of people are coming over to
      us for our flagship model, the Direction." On first glance the
      Direction appeared to be much more like what they were looking for.
      It was at
      least somewhat smaller, but they remained skeptical.

      ACTION PAGE: http://www.peaceteam.net/no_escalation2.php

      Mr. America asked, "If we buy this new Direction, do you promise to
      give us responsive service, and that it won't turn out to be the same
      of trouble we have now." "I promise," assured the salesman. "OK,"
      sighed Mr. America, "we'll take the new Direction, but you better be
      telling us the truth." "Or else, we'll bring it right back again
      time," added Mrs. America. And that's the story of how Mr. and Mrs.
      bought a new car.

      Please take action NOW, so we can win all victories that are supposed
      to be ours.

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