Mr. and Mrs. America buy a new car, and it's NOT an Augmentation
- Tonight's alert is a little different, in the form of an humorous and
entertaining (hopefully) story. If you have already called your
of Congress tollfree at 800-828-0498, 800-459-1887 or 800-614-2803,
voice opposition to the Bush/Cheney escalation, please consider
forwarding this email to all your friends.
ACTION PAGE: http://www.peaceteam.net/no_escalation2.php
Late this last fall, as November approached, Mr. and Mrs. America
decided to go shopping for a new car. Almost from the day they had
it six years earlier, their current car, a Liberator model, had been
very unreliable. Its instruments were constantly telling them things
knew from their own senses to be untrue. The gas gauge would
empty when they had just topped up the tank, or the speedometer would
show them at over the speed limit when parked in their driveway.
Worse yet, the only time it seemed to run strong was when headed off
breakneck speed for distant cities. And even there it had proven
difficult to control, swerving wildly and always smashing into other
there. Most of the time it behaved as if someone else were driving
Repair and insurance costs were becoming shocking, even awesome, with
no end in sight. In a word, it was too large, and ill-suited for
the protection errands they really needed to do closer to home.
So it was that they set out to return to the dealership that sold
their Liberator. The salesman stepped forward as he saw them walking
onto the lot. "We just got in all the new models." he enthused. Mr.
America interrupted him. "The Liberator you sold us last time has
us nothing but problems . . . we've decided to downsize." The
countered, "But the new models are so POWERFUL, the ads are all over
the TV newscasts. Take the new Escalation for example, everybody's
to want one." Mr. and Mrs. America both frowned. "The Escalation
a very bad reputation," said Mrs. America. "Our family bought one 40
years ago and it was a total disaster. We lost a family member in
"Never mind," urged the salesman, "take a look at this one. It's
another brand-new model called the Surge." The name sounded
Mr. and Mrs. America were willing to look. But when they saw it they
immediately reacted. "I don't think you're hearing us," spoke Mr.
America, "we wanted something smaller, this one looks just like the
Escalation to me." "But wait," interjected the salesman, "the deal
is, it may
LOOK like an increase in size now, but in a couple months when the
factory has a smaller replacement vehicle ready, you can trade it in
what you really want." "Gee, I don't know," said Mrs. America
hesitantly, "how do we know when the replacement model will actually
The salesman seemed a bit less confident now and started to hem and
haw. "Well you know, there are always unexpected delays in producing
new product, labor strikes, things like that. But our estimates are
shouldn't be more than a couple months, a year at the outside." Mr.
Mrs. America could not bear the thought of being stuck with an
oversized clunker for another year. "No," said Mr. America, "we're
not going to go for the Surge."
By now the salesman was starting to sweat profusely. He knew that
boss had already committed the entire capital resources of the
dealership to buy a fleet of new Escalations, together with Surges
and all its
other sub-models. They were taking delivery on them already on the
back lot. And the word had come down that any salesman who did not
the new lines would be fired on the spot. So many dedicated,
experienced and hard-working career employees had been terminated
already. "OK, OK," stammered the salesman. "I've got just the thing
you, here it is, it's called the Augmentation."
Mr. and Mrs. America were becoming increasingly annoyed, even angry.
They could not for their lives tell the fundamental difference
this Augmentation and the other models the salesman had already tried
push on them. It was still too big for them and the one thing they
knew for sure was that they wanted something smaller that would give
better service at home. They just shook their heads and started to
walk off the lot.
The salesman came running after them in a panic. "How about a
It's just a little Boost." he pleaded. "Is it smaller than the car
have now?", asked Mrs. America. "No," admitted the salesman, as his
face turned increasingly red, "but the Boost is only a SUBCOMPACT
increase in size." "We're not interested in anything you've got,"
Mr. America firmly as Mrs. America also shook her head.
It was then that they noticed another dealership across the street,
they thought they'd give them a chance. They told the salesman
"we are interested in a new car, something less unwieldy than what we
have now, and everything we've seen so far has been just the
"Yes, I know," said the salesman, "a lot of people are coming over to
us for our flagship model, the Direction." On first glance the
Direction appeared to be much more like what they were looking for.
It was at
least somewhat smaller, but they remained skeptical.
ACTION PAGE: http://www.peaceteam.net/no_escalation2.php
Mr. America asked, "If we buy this new Direction, do you promise to
give us responsive service, and that it won't turn out to be the same
of trouble we have now." "I promise," assured the salesman. "OK,"
sighed Mr. America, "we'll take the new Direction, but you better be
telling us the truth." "Or else, we'll bring it right back again
time," added Mrs. America. And that's the story of how Mr. and Mrs.
bought a new car.
Please take action NOW, so we can win all victories that are supposed
to be ours.
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