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Re: [cincarm] Hi from Ritagail

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  • Dawnelle Cruze
    Dear Ritagail. Being a convert and then a revert myself, I can appreciate how conflicted you may feel sometimes as you try to ascertain just where you are and
    Message 1 of 7 , May 1, 2011
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      Dear Ritagail.  Being a convert and then a revert myself, I can appreciate how conflicted you may feel sometimes as you try to ascertain just where you are and want to be spiritually.  Hang in there, girl friend.  Dry places and disillusionment have been experienced by many of the saints but, despite the struggles, God somehow continued to work in their lives and to bring them to Himself.  Hang on by your fingernails until God's Holy Spirit determines it's time to boost you up and help you travel back through His path that He laid out just for you.  Know that many of us on this list care very much about you and your personal struggles.  Be encouraged.  Have a cup of tea, as it were, with St. Teresa of Avila.  Read _The Way of Perfection_ again.  Take it slowly and you will find encouragement, direction, and peace in your soul.  We do care for you and what you are suffering.  God has given you some recent encouragement at the Shrine.  Hold onto that.  Allow God to minister to you through prayer and through just waiting and listening for Him.  If you can find a church or chapel where you can go for adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, I strongly recommend that to you.  I find that I can derive a calm spirit when I go before the Sacrament.  You don't have to do anything then except love and adore Him.
       
      Be Encouraged.
       
      Dawnelle
       
      ----- Original Message -----
      Sent: Sunday, May 01, 2011 2:01 AM
      Subject: [cincarm] Hi from Ritagail

       

      Hi, does anyone remember me? I'm Ritagail Burleson from Oklahoma.

      It's been a very long time.

      First of all, I don't know why, but, I'm not getting individual e-mails, and, I thought you were all being a very quiet bunch, so, I'm glad I finally got to the group site to find some of you very much alive! ;)

      It's been a heartbreaking 10 or more years. But, out of all of the heartbreak and disillusionment, God, to put it as briefly as I can, brought me around to the New Commandment, in spite of any and all shall we say "less than Christian" actions by others. Love is all. And, since God is Love, then, well, you see. And so, besides Thomas Merton and St. Gertrude and a few others, there are St. Teresa of Jesus and St. Therese of Lisieux waiting for me, with of course The Good Shepherd allowing me to nuzzle His toes.

      I turned 50 this April 3. And, for my 50th, I went to the Washington D.C. area, stayed with a dear friend from my pre-Catholic seminary days. (She's a fantastic United Methodist Deaconess.) I've been disilluisoned with any semblance of religion, would take too long to explain that here, not merely the things going on within Catholicism, but also in Christianity in general. I've also been disillusioned with humanity in general, and, my idea for my 50th would have been to go hide out in the Rockies somewhere, except that early April ain't the time to be doing that, weather-wise.

      And so, God knowing better than I--no doubt with a silly smirk on the Divine Face--I took up my friend's hospitality.....and ended up going three....count them.....1....2.....3.....times to the National Basilica! 1st time for Confession and to "look around". 2nd time for Mass on the Sunday of my birthday, and to take more photos. The 3rd time, was the day before I had to go back home, and just to give thanks and pray once more for Christianity, especially Catholicism, and for our nation.

      I thought that Mass was going to be over, but was confused to find out that there was a side chapel I hadn't seen, that was actually the Blessed Sacrament chapel, which I'd thought was the one downstairs where there had been Adoration a few days earlier. Mass was about half way through and people had spilled out into the hallway, or whatever you would call that space, and, I didn't want to bother anyone, so I wandered around.

      Now, I hadn't lit a candle anywhere the first 2 times I had been there, because candles are $4 and I'd bought a few things in the store plus eaten a few times, so I felt I'd given them some business, AND, as you may remember, I'm a Jesus person, not a Marian.

      So, I'm wandering around, and see another niche I hadn't seen before. I look up, and......there is St. Therese.......there's St. Teresa.....there's......why those are Carmelite Saints! Why.......it's Our Lady of Mt. Carmel! (Too bad nobody had a camera on me, they probably could have made some money off of the video.) And, carved into the altar is, "MARY IS MORE MOTHER THAN QUEEN" (which I later learned is from St. Therese).

      I had repacked my camera, but I got it back out and started taking photos. And knelt in prayer. And, Guess Who got a $5 bill and a lit candle.???

      It was an episode in my asking Jesus what the Heck it is I'm supposed to be doing with my life, and Jesus seemed to be asking me, "Will you be love for me? In the midst of all of this chaos, etc., will you be love for me?"

      Now, I was resigned to perhaps having to leave the Catholic Church before I left. I've been asking God if I made a horrible mistake by converting. So, if I was willing to do that, and the resulting grief, etc. from it, how could I NOT answer yes to such a gentle request?

      And so it is that I'm going to give the Lay Carmelite Rule another try, slowly working back into it, though I will have to do it without benefit of being in community as I have no transportation to one, so it will have to be "unofficial", at least for now. I'm not sure if Jesus wants me "official" or just to have the guiding influence of Carmel's spirituality, I'm going to let Jesus take care of that, and, while the Dear Good Shepherd is at it, if indeed He wants me to stay in this Garden of Carmel, then I will let him take care of my duly noted objections to staying Catholic, possibly being in a non-ecumenical order, and Marian to boot. If this is where the King invites me, then, I accept His invitation--again.

      Well, it's nearly 1AM, so I suppose that about sums it up. I am going to try uploading a few photos to the "photo" section.

      Please pray for me if you have a few seconds, and, I pray for everyone on this list, and those offlist who wish to be prayed for.

      In the Love of the Giver of the New Commandment,

      Ritagail

    • birdluv.rm
      Thanks for the encouragement, Dawnelle (love your name). Am still up because it s taking my dial-up FOREVER to upload what I thought were smaller pic files
      Message 2 of 7 , May 1, 2011
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        Thanks for the encouragement, Dawnelle (love your name).

        Am still up because it's taking my dial-up FOREVER to upload what I thought were smaller pic files from the Basilica, and, found out that I'm up for the EWTN coverage on tv of the Beatification of Pope JP II--though I may fall asleep at any minute.

        I'm more into St. Therese's writings, however, this whole latest experience started with a passage from St. Teresa's work on the Song of Songs, I don't have it in front of me now but it's something about souls who are worn out from meditation, who sit under The Apple Tree (meaning Jesus) and are nourished there.

        Oh was that me--worn out from meditation!! (and from pondering and studying and driving myself and everyone around me mad from my pursuit of "truth" and "rightness") God had to just sit me down in the shade...
      • Deborrah Thurston OCDS
        Beloved Ritagail, yes indeed I remember you!! But, do you remember me? ;-) My friend and sister in Christ, this summer will mark the 30th anniversary of my
        Message 3 of 7 , May 1, 2011
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          Beloved Ritagail, yes indeed I remember you!!  But, do you remember me?  ;-)

           

          My friend and sister in Christ, this summer will mark the 30th anniversary of my ordination as a United Methodist pastor (Elder); and, next Easter will mark the 30th anniversary of my Profession of Faith as a Roman Catholic.  In these years of my itinerary of faith, I have noticed that many “converts” like you and I have gone through a difficult moment where we are tempted to leave the Church of our choice, and return to the church of our birth. I’ve gone through that trial and temptation, also.  I also recognize that I had so many nice, neat reasons why it would be a greater good for me to return to the Methodists as a kind of Roman missionary to Aldersgate Street and the disciples of John Wesley. All of those thoughts were more like rationalizations for a very irrational decision.  Thank God, I didn’t act on those rationalizations.

          The TRUTH truly is found here, among our fellow-sinners who are our sisters and brothers in this One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church, she through whom  and to  whom you and I  made solemn promises at our Profession of Faith.  I don’t know about you, but my choice and profession 29 years ago at the Easter Vigil was more well-thought-out and discerned and prayed-over than any other decision in my life.  It was a solemn decision, and I made that choice and profession once and for all. It was pure folly to think that so many years later, I conveniently forgot the solemnity of my choice and profession, and forgot the images of how dearly I paid for that decision, and all the suffering that I chose to bear in order to join the Church of Rome.  Pure folly, I tell you.  And my experience informs my words of encouragement today that I offer you:

          Do not turn your back on Rome.

           

          Yes, we are flawed. Yes, we are a great flock of sinners. Yes, in our fallen humanity the Church’s members make some poor choices. But, the Holy Spirit is greater than our flaws, faults, and sins, and is operating today in a mighty way in the Church of Rome. You’ve received a gift in discovering the Beatification liturgy on TV.  And with this recent trip to DC, it seems to me that the Holy Spirit is hard at work in your life, calling you to renew your choice and profession as a Roman Catholic.

          My experience showed me that all of my neat little rationalizations were worthless in the face of the great treasure that is our faith in Christ, our reliance upon the maternal intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary, and the consoling power of the Holy Spirit at work in the Church of Rome.  Consider carefully how sweetly the Lord is calling you, and how he is drawing you closer to himself through the grace and sacraments that are our treasure as Roman Catholics.  Yes, Jesus is drawing you… Let him love you!

          I am at your service… if you would like to “unpack” or talk more about your experiences, please contact me off-list. I promise you my prayers, Ritagail.

          Deb. Thurston ocds

           

           

           

          From: cincarm@yahoogroups.com [mailto:cincarm@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of birdluv.rm
          Sent: Sunday, May 01, 2011 2:01 AM
          To: cincarm@yahoogroups.com
          Subject: [cincarm] Hi from Ritagail

           

           

          Hi, does anyone remember me? I'm Ritagail Burleson from Oklahoma.

          It's been a very long time.

          First of all, I don't know why, but, I'm not getting individual e-mails, and, I thought you were all being a very quiet bunch, so, I'm glad I finally got to the group site to find some of you very much alive! ;)

          It's been a heartbreaking 10 or more years. But, out of all of the heartbreak and disillusionment, God, to put it as briefly as I can, brought me around to the New Commandment, in spite of any and all shall we say "less than Christian" actions by others. Love is all. And, since God is Love, then, well, you see. And so, besides Thomas Merton and St. Gertrude and a few others, there are St. Teresa of Jesus and St. Therese of Lisieux waiting for me, with of course The Good Shepherd allowing me to nuzzle His toes.

          I turned 50 this April 3. And, for my 50th, I went to the Washington D.C. area, stayed with a dear friend from my pre-Catholic seminary days. (She's a fantastic United Methodist Deaconess.) I've been disilluisoned with any semblance of religion, would take too long to explain that here, not merely the things going on within Catholicism, but also in Christianity in general. I've also been disillusioned with humanity in general, and, my idea for my 50th would have been to go hide out in the Rockies somewhere, except that early April ain't the time to be doing that, weather-wise.

          And so, God knowing better than I--no doubt with a silly smirk on the Divine Face--I took up my friend's hospitality.....and ended up going three....count them.....1....2.....3.....times to the National Basilica! 1st time for Confession and to "look around". 2nd time for Mass on the Sunday of my birthday, and to take more photos. The 3rd time, was the day before I had to go back home, and just to give thanks and pray once more for Christianity, especially Catholicism, and for our nation.

          I thought that Mass was going to be over, but was confused to find out that there was a side chapel I hadn't seen, that was actually the Blessed Sacrament chapel, which I'd thought was the one downstairs where there had been Adoration a few days earlier. Mass was about half way through and people had spilled out into the hallway, or whatever you would call that space, and, I didn't want to bother anyone, so I wandered around.

          Now, I hadn't lit a candle anywhere the first 2 times I had been there, because candles are $4 and I'd bought a few things in the store plus eaten a few times, so I felt I'd given them some business, AND, as you may remember, I'm a Jesus person, not a Marian.

          So, I'm wandering around, and see another niche I hadn't seen before. I look up, and......there is St. Therese.......there's St. Teresa.....there's......why those are Carmelite Saints! Why.......it's Our Lady of Mt. Carmel! (Too bad nobody had a camera on me, they probably could have made some money off of the video.) And, carved into the altar is, "MARY IS MORE MOTHER THAN QUEEN" (which I later learned is from St. Therese).

          I had repacked my camera, but I got it back out and started taking photos. And knelt in prayer. And, Guess Who got a $5 bill and a lit candle.???

          It was an episode in my asking Jesus what the Heck it is I'm supposed to be doing with my life, and Jesus seemed to be asking me, "Will you be love for me? In the midst of all of this chaos, etc., will you be love for me?"

          Now, I was resigned to perhaps having to leave the Catholic Church before I left. I've been asking God if I made a horrible mistake by converting. So, if I was willing to do that, and the resulting grief, etc. from it, how could I NOT answer yes to such a gentle request?

          And so it is that I'm going to give the Lay Carmelite Rule another try, slowly working back into it, though I will have to do it without benefit of being in community as I have no transportation to one, so it will have to be "unofficial", at least for now. I'm not sure if Jesus wants me "official" or just to have the guiding influence of Carmel's spirituality, I'm going to let Jesus take care of that, and, while the Dear Good Shepherd is at it, if indeed He wants me to stay in this Garden of Carmel, then I will let him take care of my duly noted objections to staying Catholic, possibly being in a non-ecumenical order, and Marian to boot. If this is where the King invites me, then, I accept His invitation--again.

          Well, it's nearly 1AM, so I suppose that about sums it up. I am going to try uploading a few photos to the "photo" section.

          Please pray for me if you have a few seconds, and, I pray for everyone on this list, and those offlist who wish to be prayed for.

          In the Love of the Giver of the New Commandment,

          Ritagail

        • Terrye Newkirk
          Ritagail, what part of Oklahoma? Did I see you when St. Therese’s relics visited OKC? terrye newkirk From: birdluv.rm Sent: Sunday, May 01, 2011 1:01 AM To:
          Message 4 of 7 , May 1, 2011
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            Ritagail, what part of Oklahoma? Did I see you when St. Therese’s relics visited OKC?
             
            terrye newkirk
             
            From: birdluv.rm
            Sent: Sunday, May 01, 2011 1:01 AM
            Subject: [cincarm] Hi from Ritagail
             
             

            Hi, does anyone remember me? I'm Ritagail Burleson from Oklahoma.

          • Andrea PKn
            Hello, Terrye: I am Andrea Knepp, a novice from Blessed Elizabeth Tulsa Study Group. I believe you visit by phone with Barbara Tinervia, our president. I have
            Message 5 of 7 , May 2, 2011
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              Hello, Terrye:
               
              I am Andrea Knepp, a novice from Blessed Elizabeth Tulsa Study Group.
              I believe you visit by phone with Barbara Tinervia, our president. I have been
              hoping to get to meet and know you. I live near the airport.
               
              May the rich blessings of Carmel mantle you as you meet each new day!
              †Andrea
               
              -------Mensaje original-------
               
              Fecha: 5/1/2011 2:17:16 PM
              Asunto: [cincarm] re: Hi from Ritagail
               
               

              Ritagail, what part of Oklahoma? Did I see you when St. Therese’s relics visited OKC?
               
              terrye newkirk
               
              From: birdluv.rm
              Sent: Sunday, May 01, 2011 1:01 AM
              Subject: [cincarm] Hi from Ritagail
               
               

              Hi, does anyone remember me? I'm Ritagail Burleson from Oklahoma.

               
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            • birdluv.rm
              Hi Terrye, Yes, I m in Bartlesville, and yes I was at the relics of St. Therese. I don t have a motor vehicle, so, I can t get to any meetings. Rg
              Message 6 of 7 , May 2, 2011
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                Hi Terrye,

                Yes, I'm in Bartlesville, and yes I was at the relics of St. Therese.

                I don't have a motor vehicle, so, I can't get to any meetings.

                Rg
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