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My newest short story

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  • Rebekkah E.
    If you all would please criticize this, I d be much obliged. I know it needs a bit of work to polish it up. :-) Rebekkah A Lesson in Patience By Rebekkah
    Message 1 of 1 , Jul 3, 2002
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      If you all would please criticize this, I'd be much obliged. I know it needs a bit of work to polish it up. :-)


      A Lesson in Patience

      By Rebekkah Edlund

      Diane looked around her room in horror. The room she had left spotlessly clean not 3 hours before was now a disaster area. As she stared at the room, the last of her patience ebbed away.

      Diane shared her room with her 6-year-old sister whom she was constantly cleaning up after. 18-year-old Diane, hated cleaning up messes that were not her own, and so there was nearly constant friction between the Stovinov sisters.

      Diane stalked into the room where her mother sat reading.

      "Mom! Anita made a horrible mess in our room, and I JUST cleaned it up!"

      Mrs. Stovinov looked at Diane for a long minute, and then calmly answering said, "Diane, please tell your sister to come here."

      Diane felt a small amount of triumph as she went looking for her sister. A few minutes searching found Anita in the kitchen, and much to Diane's despair, Anita was using her expensive stationary to make paper cups, and drinking water out of them.

      Diane stood still, once again that look of horror was on her face. Quickly snatching up the rest of the undamaged stationary, Diane ran out of the room, not saying a word to Anita. Instead, she ran back into where her mother sat.

      "Mother! Look what Anita's gone and done now! She used more than half of my stationary to make paper cups! Mom, she drives me CRAZY!"

      "Alright, Diane. I'll deal with her. Why don't you go take the dog for a walk? It might help."

      Diane nodded, put away the stationary and got the leash. As she and their Siberian Husky headed out the door, Diane looked back and saw Anita.

      "Have a nice walk, Diane." Anita said, obvious sincerity in her voice.

      Diane only glared, and walked down the driveway.

      As Diane walked around the block with the dog, she spoke to the Lord. "Lord why do I always fight with my sister like this? It's so hard, I wish she would just be good for a change. Then I could easily be nice to her." Diane shook her head to clear away the tumultuous thoughts that threatened to overwhelm her, and smiled at one of the little neighbor boys.

      On the way back up the driveway, after she had been around the block, Diane looked up and noticed an unfamiliar car in the driveway, and the sound of a commotion inside the house. Quickening her pace, Diane went in the front door. The door opened into the living room, what she saw made her stop stock-still, the blood draining from her face.

      Anita, dead white and her eyes shut, lay on the couch with one of her legs bent in an abnormal position. Mrs. Stovinov sat nearby crying.

      "She's not.." Diane hardly could make her voice be above a whisper.

      "No, she's not dead."

      The sound of a man's voice startled Diane, and she turned around hastily. Standing near her was a man. He looked shook-up and nervous to Diane's eyes.

      "What happened?" Diane demanded, looking from her mother to the stranger.

      "I was driving around the curve faster than I should've. Your sister was in the middle of the road picking up a kitten. She didn't hear the car, and I didn't see her until it was too late. I hit her." The man's voice broke.

      Diane looked at him in astonishment. She felt like yelling at him for going above the speed limit, and for not being more careful, but instead, seeing the remorseful look on his face, she simply asked, "Did you send for an ambulance?"

      "Yes." Came the reply. "It should be here any minute."

      As if to confirm his words, the sound of a siren reached their ears.

      The ambulance took Anita and Mrs. Stovinov to the hospital. The man, (David Troyer) reported the accident to the police officer that had accompanied the ambulance. After David was completed, he drove Diane to her father's work to pick him up on the way to the hospital where they would learn the full extent of Anita's injuries.

      The drive was quiet, a small amount of tension in the air, so Diane simply prayed. "Dear Lord, I don't know why you let Anita be injured. Lord, please let her live." She begged. "Even though we have so many fights, I love her. Please Lord God, let her live. And please show me how to show my love for her more. If You let her live, I will be patient with her. You've taught me a lesson, a hard lesson, in patience. Amen."

      Arriving at the hospital, a nurse met the trio in the waiting room.

      "She'll be fine." The nurse said in answer to their query. "She has a broken leg, and a mild concussion."

      Diane let out a sigh of relief and hugged her father. "Thank-you, Lord." She whispered.

      Over the next few weeks, Diane and Anita learned to respect and love each other. Diane realized that before the accident, she had had no respect for her little sister, and only had concentrated on the bad things Anita had done or said. Now she had simply learned to see the good things, and worked on being selfless, though she did fail on occasion.

      The End.

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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