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61874Re: [ccd-newastro] Health Alert

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  • Ron Brant
    Apr 1, 2008
      Cute Ron!!
      ----- Original Message -----
      From: Yahoo - Wodaski
      To: ccd-newastro@yahoogroups.com
      Sent: Tuesday, April 01, 2008 8:46 AM
      Subject: [ccd-newastro] Health Alert

      Washington DC April 1 (AP) United States Surgeon General and head of the
      Public Health Service Commissioned Corps Dr. James W. Holsinger, Jr
      announced that effective immediately new restrictions have been put in
      place to protect amateur astronomers.

      "Squinting at the eyepiece has become a major national health issue,"
      Dr. Holsinger announced. Citing recent research which shows that CCD
      imagers have 1,231% fewer eye problems that amateurs who use their
      optical organs for viewing of the night sky, and alluding to additional
      studies which show clearly that the human eye is infrequently capable of
      exposures longer than 1/30th of a second, the Surgeon General put into
      place sweeping reforms that will affect huge numbers of amateur astronomers.

      The new regulations specify that eyepieces, when used in a public
      setting, must have eye relief of at least three feet. Eyepieces with
      focal lengths shorter than 9999mm will not be allowed. "To achieve
      significant magnification," the Surgeon General said, "amateurs must
      apply for a license to purchase at the very least some kind of web cam."

      Questioned on the need for processing skills to handle the gynormous
      amounts of data that will be collected by visual imagers expected to
      turn in droves to webcams, DSLRs and CCD imagers, the Surgeon General
      was evasive. "They'll figure it out," he was heard to mutter as he threw
      up his hands and refused to answer any additional questions.

      Market forces kicked into gear immediately following the Surgeon
      General's announcement. An unnamed but highly sauced source noted that
      there were presumably leaks from the Vice President's office to key
      manufacturers in advance of the public announcements. Major
      manufacturers, including SBEG, FLY, Synergee, and others announced CCD
      cameras at mass-market prices, from $1.95 to $4.95. Pleas for price
      relief on existing $10,000 CCD cameras are expected, but the Congress
      has signaled no interest in providing relief for the small numbers of
      CCD imagers caught in the price squeeze.

      For more information, please check the date of this press release.

      Ron Wodaski
      Surgeon General's Office,
      Public Relations Dept.

      [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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