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male rules

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  • Linnet
    We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules ... Lots of Love and Gentle Hugs From Linnet Someone who never forgets Beauty is not
    Message 1 of 1 , Feb 1, 2003
       We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
      > from the male side.  These are our rules! These are all
      numbered"1" ON
      > PURPOSE!
      > 1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
      You're a big girl. If it's up, put
      >    it down. We need it
      up, you need it down. You don't hear us
      >    complaining
      about you leaving it down.
      > 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries
      are not quests to see if 
      >    we can find the
      perfect present yet again!
      > 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you.
      Live with it.
      > 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
      changing of the 
      >    tides. Let it be.
      > 1.
      Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
      >    that way.
      > 1. Crying is blackmail.
      >
      1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
      >    not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
      not work! Just
      >    say it!
      > 1. We don't remember
      dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the
      >   
      calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
      > 1. Yes and No are perfectly
      acceptable answers to almost every 
      >    question.
      > 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
      That's
      >    what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
      are for.
      > 1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a
      doctor.
      > 1. Check your oil! Please.
      > 1. Anything we said 6
      months ago is inadmissible in an argument In
      >    fact, all
      comments become null and void after 7 days.
      > 1. If you won't dress like
      the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect 
      >    us to
      act like soap opera guys.
      > 1. If something we said can be interpreted
      two ways, and one of the 
      >    ways makes you sad or
      angry, we meant the other one.
      > 1. You can either ask us to do something
      or tell us how you want it
      >    done. Not both. If you
      already know best how to do it, just do it  
      >    yourself.
      > 1. Whenever possible, please say
      whatever you have to say during   
      >   
      commercials.
      > 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and
      neither do we.
      > 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the
      first four
      >    months we were going out. Get over it. And
      quit whining to your 
      >    girlfriends.
      > 1.
      ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
      >    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
      is also a
      >    fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
      > 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
      > 1. We are
      not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-
      >    reading ability is not proof of how little we
      care about you.
      > 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
      will act like 
      >    nothing's wrong. We know you are
      lying, but it is just not worth
      >    the hassle.
      >
      1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
      >    you don't want to hear.
      > 1. When we have to
      go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
      >   
      Really.
      > 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
      prepared to 
      >    discuss such topics as navel lint,
      the shotgun formation, or monster
      >    trucks.
      > 1.
      You have enough clothes.
      > 1. You have too many shoes.
      > 1. It is
      neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz
      >    together.  No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
      > 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
      > 1.
      Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
      >    couch tonight, but did you know we really don't mind
      that, it's
      >    like camping.
      >
      Lots of Love and Gentle Hugs
      From Linnet
      Someone who never forgets
      Beauty is not just skin deep
      For my lovely Kallista is not only sweet
      But beautiful within
      Despite her fragile skin
      She has wings
      And the joy she brings
      Could light up the sky
      Where she does fly
      With strength that sings
      And beautiful butterfly wings
      Written by; Christina Perez
      our home page
      www.geocities.com/specialmum_99
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