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April Fools Brunch

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  • buffalos3@webtv.net
    Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch Well I just advanced all my clocks to conform to DST even got
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 1, 2001
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      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch

      Well I just advanced all my clocks to conform to DST even got
      the microwave and the VCR set to flash 1:00 for the next six
      months.
      Today is also April Fools Day but I am not going to pull
      anything this year. As April first marks the end of the on
      street parking ban, I took the Cadillac to the car wash today.
      The shine lasted for almost a mile before I hit a wet spot and
      covered the car with leftover road salt. At least I got the mud
      washed off from being stuck in yard. Another spring sight is the
      opening of Dairy Queen and I just had to stop for a small
      dipped cone. Yep spring is here.
      I have had a rash of people trying to subscribe using their home
      address i.e. 4365 Hubble drive Chicago Ill. They are probably
      still wondering why I don't send them jokes. Yes everyone email
      is required because the buffalo doesn't use the Post Office.

      Hope you enjoy the chips.



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      After volunteering to fight for his country Zimmerman joined his unit
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      queued up for his uniform. As equipment was issued in strict
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      order Zimmerman found himself at the back of the queue. By the time he
      reached the desk all the uniforms had been issued. There were none
      left.
      Zimmerman was issued with a badge that said "soldier" in red letters.
      "You didn't want a scratchy old uniform anyway," the quartermaster
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      "Join the queue for your rifle."
      Zimmerman joined the back of the rifle queue.
      When he reached the front Zimmerman found that all the rifles had been
      distributed and thet, once again, there were none left.
      "You don't want to kill people anyway," said the quartermaster. "I'll
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      you with a stick and you can shout Bang Bang!" "Thank you," said
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      and joined the queue for bayonets.
      Once again, on reaching the desk Zimmerman was disappointed. The
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      should shout "Sticky-sticky" when using it.
      And so on.
      Within weeks Zimmerman found himself on the front lines
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      for all he was worth. On his second day the enemy began a mass
      advance. One
      by one Zimmerman's section were killed or wounded until only Zimmerman
      himself remained standing. "Bang-bang!" he shouted, and was amazed to
      see
      his foes still falling. Soon they began to overwhelm his trench and
      Zimmerman began to stab wildly with his lollipop stick. "Sticky-
      sticky.
      Sticky-sticky." Astoundingly it worked.
      The enemy were dying at his feet. The survivors began to retreat.
      All, that is, with the exception of one man who was only half way
      across
      no-man's land and was still advancing slowly.
      Zimmerman took careful aim with his stick-rifle and calmly
      said; "Bang."
      The enemy soldier continued his advance.
      "Bang-bang, bang-bang, bangedy-bang-bang-bang," Zimmerman yelled
      frantically.
      Still he came. Before he could reach the trench Zimmerman leapt up
      and ran
      at him with the lollipop stick. "Sticky-sticky, he said. And then
      added
      "Stab-stab-stab," for good measure. The enemy soldier refused to die
      and
      stared at Zimmerman defiantly.
      By now Zimmerman had had enough. "Wait a minute, " he said. "When I
      shouted
      'Bang' your comrades died, but not you. When I engaged them in hand-
      to-hand
      combat with my lollipop stick they fell over dead, but not you. What
      gives?"
      "I'm a tank, " said Zanker.



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      Irish Chips
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      Blonde Chips
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      Parting Chips
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      A dog walks into Western Union and asks the clerk to send a telegram.

      He fills out a form on which he writes down the telegram he wishes to
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      The clerk says, "You can add another 'Bow wow' for the same price."

      "But," the dog responded, "wouldn't that sound a little silly?"





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