April Fools Brunch
- Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch
Well I just advanced all my clocks to conform to DST even got
the microwave and the VCR set to flash 1:00 for the next six
Today is also April Fools Day but I am not going to pull
anything this year. As April first marks the end of the on
street parking ban, I took the Cadillac to the car wash today.
The shine lasted for almost a mile before I hit a wet spot and
covered the car with leftover road salt. At least I got the mud
washed off from being stuck in yard. Another spring sight is the
opening of Dairy Queen and I just had to stop for a small
dipped cone. Yep spring is here.
I have had a rash of people trying to subscribe using their home
address i.e. 4365 Hubble drive Chicago Ill. They are probably
still wondering why I don't send them jokes. Yes everyone email
is required because the buffalo doesn't use the Post Office.
Hope you enjoy the chips.
Please visit our Sponsor
GET THE MOST DANGEROUS BOOK IN THE WORLD!
The Underground Directory is "The Most Dangerous Book in the World!"
Already one politician has tried his hardest to silence this
underground classic, which covers all the most discreet and
low profile "insider" contacts for all free spirits everywhere.
GET THE MOST DANGEROUS BOOK IN THE WORLD!
=> The best and cheapest surveillance equipment.
=> How to hide your identity, change it completely or just
give your "girl/boy friends" a safe address to reach you at!
=> The cheapest phone rates in the world! How about making
untraceable and completely anonymous phone calls?
=> The secrets on hacking, banking, credit card & ATM scams
and other frauds. Learn how to protect yourself. Don't
become a victim!
=> Fed up with law enforcement officers turning up late
after you've been mugged/robbed? Defend yourself with
little-known gadgets that will get you out of tricky
After volunteering to fight for his country Zimmerman joined his unit
queued up for his uniform. As equipment was issued in strict
order Zimmerman found himself at the back of the queue. By the time he
reached the desk all the uniforms had been issued. There were none
Zimmerman was issued with a badge that said "soldier" in red letters.
"You didn't want a scratchy old uniform anyway," the quartermaster
"Join the queue for your rifle."
Zimmerman joined the back of the rifle queue.
When he reached the front Zimmerman found that all the rifles had been
distributed and thet, once again, there were none left.
"You don't want to kill people anyway," said the quartermaster. "I'll
you with a stick and you can shout Bang Bang!" "Thank you," said
and joined the queue for bayonets.
Once again, on reaching the desk Zimmerman was disappointed. The
quartermaster issued him with a lollipop stick with the advice that he
should shout "Sticky-sticky" when using it.
And so on.
Within weeks Zimmerman found himself on the front lines
for all he was worth. On his second day the enemy began a mass
by one Zimmerman's section were killed or wounded until only Zimmerman
himself remained standing. "Bang-bang!" he shouted, and was amazed to
his foes still falling. Soon they began to overwhelm his trench and
Zimmerman began to stab wildly with his lollipop stick. "Sticky-
Sticky-sticky." Astoundingly it worked.
The enemy were dying at his feet. The survivors began to retreat.
All, that is, with the exception of one man who was only half way
no-man's land and was still advancing slowly.
Zimmerman took careful aim with his stick-rifle and calmly
The enemy soldier continued his advance.
"Bang-bang, bang-bang, bangedy-bang-bang-bang," Zimmerman yelled
Still he came. Before he could reach the trench Zimmerman leapt up
at him with the lollipop stick. "Sticky-sticky, he said. And then
"Stab-stab-stab," for good measure. The enemy soldier refused to die
stared at Zimmerman defiantly.
By now Zimmerman had had enough. "Wait a minute, " he said. "When I
'Bang' your comrades died, but not you. When I engaged them in hand-
combat with my lollipop stick they fell over dead, but not you. What
"I'm a tank, " said Zanker.
UGrin .com The best in Toons, Games, and Amusements for you
A Sweet Kiss for You!
Intel on the inside....
At least make it look like fun...
After a two week criminal trial in a very high profile bank
robbery case, the judge turns to the jury foreman and
asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?"
"Yes, we have, your honor," The foreman responded.
"Would you please pass it to me," The judge declared, as
he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip
from the foreman and deliver it to him.
After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the
verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the
foreman and instructs the foreman, "Please read your
verdict to the court."
"We find the defendant Not Guilty of all four counts of
bank robbery," stated the foreman. The family and
friends of the defendant jump for joy at the verdict and
hug each other as they shout expressions of divine
The man´s attorney turns to his client and asks, "So,
what do you think about that?"
The defendant, with a bewildered look on his face, and
then turns to his attorney and says, "I´m confused... does
this mean that I have to give all the money back?"
Forget The Woods!
Annual Meeting of Woman Drivers!
Does AOL Own Everything?
Please Give Us a Hand
Comic greeting Cards
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the
women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly
complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food
is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations
The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney
Stone. "Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you
kiss the Blarney Stone,"he guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s
being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it.
Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
"We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted.
"We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess
we can´t kiss the stupid stone."
"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss
someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same
"And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman
"No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on
LABLAUGHS.COM! F-R-E-E Ezines for everyone,
sign up today and you might win something... not from us,
but you never know! Jokes, Cartoons, Trivia, Riddles,
Recipes, Downloads, Freebies, Links, inspiration, dances,
tricks, gags, games, googles, gaggles, giggles and
MUCH MUCH More at http://www.LABLaughs.com
Mr. Swiller was known far and wide as a hard-nosed boss who
watched his employees like a hawk. He was making one of his
regular tours of the factory when he spotted a young man
leaning against a pile of boxes just outside the foreman's office.
Since George, the foreman, wasn't around, Swiller stood off to
the side and watched to see just how long the young man
would stand around doing nothing.
The young man yawned, scratched his head, looked at his
watch, and sat on the floor. He took out a nail file and began
cleaning his nails. Then he stretched, yawned again, and
leaned back on the pile of boxes.
Swiller stepped from his hiding place and walked up to the
young man. "You!" he boomed. "How much do you make a
The young man looked up indifferently. "Two hundred and fifty
dollars," he said.
Swiller swooped into the cashier's office, took $250 from the
cash box, and returned. "Take it," he said, "and get out! Don't
let me see you around here again!"
The young man took the cash, put it in his pocket, and left.
Swiller snorted at his lack of remorse, embarrassment, or any
other feeling. Then he went looking for George. When he found
him, Swiller was red with anger."That idler in front of your
office," Swiller said. "I just gave him a week's pay and fired him.
What's the matter with you, letting him stand around as though
he had nothing to do?"
"You mean the kid in the red shirt?" George asked.
"Yes! The kid in the red shirt!"
"He was waiting for the twenty dollars we owe him for lunch,"
George said. "He works for the coffee shop around the corner."
Try Quicken 2001 Deluxe FREE for 60 days!
Quicken helps save you time and money!
It's America's #1 personal finance software!
Quicken 2001 Deluxe helps you better
manage the 7 key areas of your finances.
Try it FREE for 60 days!
<a href=" http://www.1freeplace.com/chips/quick.htm ">AOL link</a>
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in
his house. His three children were outside, still in their
pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers
strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was
open, as was the front door to the house. Proceeding into the
entry, he found an even bigger mess.
A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded
against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a
cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and
various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the
sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was
spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a
small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed
up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes,
looking for his wife.
He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had
He found her lounging in the bedroom, still curled in the bed in
her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and
asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked,
"What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know everyday when you come
home from work and ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
Do you feel lucky today?? Try one of our sweepstakes.
you can enter once a day, everyday.
SAFE! It makes you feel like you are at the game!
This large screen television is perfect for watching
your favorite summertime sports, reality television
and everything in between.
Features of the Philips® Large screen 64P9271:
o 40-Watt Built-In Surround Sound
o Direct/Reflecting® speaker technology
o Digital prepared connections
o Dual-Tuner PIP o Component input
o Large diameter lens CRTs
o Advanced scan velocity modulation (SVM)
<a href=" http://www.1freeplace.com/chips/projection.htm ">AOL
This offer expires 06/16/01.
Or check out all our sweeps at
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail
CLICK HERE TO GET A FREE ISSUE OF PC UPGRADE MAGAZINE!
Subscriber Spotlight Falcons Lair
Deeply by Carolou-Great Page
The Nightmare Project
Butterfly Kisses, sung by Bob Carlisle, from Mack
An Average Homepage Via Foxy
World's smallest Website
Easter Stationery Via Eileen
Night Gallery Homepage
Web-tv Trricks Help Page
Pic Of The day Computer Cat Via George 7777
Be A Medical Transcriptionist - Click to request free information!
Visit LynnLynn's Guest Book and tell her how you feel abut the links
ePrescribe is your trusted On-Line Medical Clinic for the New
Your on-line medical consultation is always FREE!
The ePrescribe staff consists of U.S. licensed physicians and
pharmacists. We are dedicated to help you live a healthy and happy
Eprescribe offers the popular weight loss drugs , Phentermine,
Meridia, Xenical, Adipex, Bontril, and Ionamin. Among other
medications are Valtrex for herpes , Viagra, Retin-a, Vioxx and
others. Click Here
Stock Chips and a bonus
Two stockbrokers went to lunch. One looked at the other
and said, "Let's relax while we eat and talk about
something other than the market or any kind of business
"Good idea, Sam. Let's talk about women."
"Okay... common or preferred?"
A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He
jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes
later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see
someone taking stuff out of his trunk. He runs around and yells,
"Hey, bud, this is my car!"
"Okay," the man says, "You take the front and I'll take the back."
The Herbal Buffalo ( More Jokes after this section)
HERBALSENSATIONS - A GREAT COMPANY WITH GREAT PRODUCTS
Herbal Viagra for Men and Women, Fat Burner, Hair Removal, Breast
Enhancers, and more.
All products come with 100% customer satisfaction or your money back.
Check them out!!
<a href=" http://www.herbalsensations.com/cgi-
bin/af/b.cgi/269/ ">Click Here For Herbal Sensations</a>
Become more attractive to the opposite sex. Become the focus of
romance and sexual
interest. Wear sexual attractants disguised as fragrances or enhance
or perfume with pheromones (natural sexual attractants). Single men
and women report
meeting more singles of the opposite sex. Married men and women
report marital bliss
enhanced with these rare products. Click here now:
Judi stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I
have a complaint!"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"
The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. So you must be the person who
took our phone book."
Were You Alone on Valentine's Day?
100% Free dating site!
MatchDoctor.com - Get your 100% Free online personal ad now!
Find love - for FREE !
A dog walks into Western Union and asks the clerk to send a telegram.
He fills out a form on which he writes down the telegram he wishes to
send: "Bow wow wow, Bow wow wow."
The clerk says, "You can add another 'Bow wow' for the same price."
"But," the dog responded, "wouldn't that sound a little silly?"