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  • buffalos3@webtv.net
    Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Gazing at my fingers I am reminded of the Navy and St.
    Message 1 of 55 , Mar 1, 2001
      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      Gazing at my fingers I am reminded of the Navy and St. Patrick's Day.
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      St. Patrick Chips

      Q. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
      A. Regular rocks are too heavy.

      Q. Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?
      A. Because they're always a little short.

      Q. Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold?
      A. They like to "go" first class!

      Q. How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?
      A. He's Dublin over with laughter!

      Q. Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?
      A. He couldn't afford plane fare.

      Q. What's Irish and stays out all night?
      A. Patty O'furniture!

      Q. How did the Irish Jig get started?
      A. Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!


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      Speeding Chips

      A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a
      gaggle of cars all travelling at the same speed. However, as
      they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed
      detector and was pulled over.

      The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and
      was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I
      was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of
      other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did
      *I* get the ticket?"

      "Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.

      "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied.

      The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"


      Toon Chips

      Right ... or ... Left? You decide!

      Do you know this guy? Related?

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      Joe Chips

      A cowboy rides up to a Saloon, goes inside and orders a
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      lips, when a guy comes running up to the door, and yells
      "Hey Joe! Your house is burnin!" The man leaps up, runs
      out and jumps on his horse just as he thinks... "Hey, I
      don't have a house." He goes back in and sits down, and
      raises the glass to his lips again. Just then a man comes
      running up to the door and yells "Hey Joe! Your dad has
      died!" So he leaps up, runs out, gets on his horse and
      starts to head down the street when he thinks..."Wait a
      minute, my dad died years ago." He goes back to the bar,
      and sure enough, he's just about to take a sip of his
      whiskey when another guys runs up. "Joe! Congratulations!
      You've won the lottery! There's a pile of money waiting
      for you down at the post office!" The cowboy gets up,
      leaps on the horse, and starts flying towards the post
      office. He almost gets there when he thinks, "Hey, wait
      a minute. My name ain't Joe..."


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      Irish Chips

      Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first man he met, "Do
      you want to go to heaven?"

      The man replied, "I do Father."

      The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

      Then the priest asked a second man, "Do you want to got to heaven?"

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      The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when
      you die you don't want to go to heaven?"

      O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group
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      Short Chips

      During a hectic night of mail processing at the post office, a number
      of letters fell off an elevated conveyor belt and scattered onto the
      floor. Before the area supervisor had a chance to pick them up, the
      facility manager, who had a reputation for being stern, came upon the

      "Why is this mail on the floor?" he demanded angrily. Without
      hesitation the supervisor replied, "Gravity, sir."


      Frequently traveling for work, I usually stay in a bed and breakfast
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      I didn't see the step down into the reception area and lost my
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      Teaching Chips

      A police car with flashing lights pulled me over near the high school
      where I teach. As the officer asked for my license and registration,
      students began to drive past. Some honked their horns, others hooted,
      and still others stopped to admonish me for speeding.
      Finally the officer asked me if I was a teacher at the school, and I
      told him I was.
      "I think you've paid your debt to society," he concluded with a smile,
      and left without giving me a ticket.


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      At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home
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      The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.



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      Parting Chips

      "I'm ashamed of the way we live," a young wife said to her lazy
      who refused to find a job. "My father pays our rent. My mother buys
      of our food. My sister buys our clothes. My aunt bought us a car. I'm
      just so ashamed."
      The husband rolled over on the couch. "You should be ashamed," he
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    • William Brabant
      Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. First I want to wish a Happy Birthday to Christeen
      Message 55 of 55 , Sep 20, 2002
        Clean Clean

        Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
        name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

        First I want to wish a Happy Birthday to Christeen aka Streakalo
        from Northern California. Christeen is oldest friend and longest
        fan on the net who is always willing to take a minute from her busy
        life as a bookkeeper to teach me humility by whipping my butt at
        Literati over in Yahoogames. Happy Birthday Streakalo.
        There is a definite disturbance in the force everyone. My email
        that I sent myself last night has not come back yet. For that reason
        the Scuttlebutt will be nonexistent tonight unless something happens
        between now and post time. Even though my regular mail has had
        problems getting here for the past two days, I have received several
        cleaned virus generated emails and several spam mails. It has given
        me a chance to clean some of my mail up though and my inbox only has
        1200 pieces in it right now, instead of the usual 1850 as Friday
        Tonight supper although really delicious was not easily
        My wife had said she was preparing chicken stir fry for supper and
        what was sitting in front of me had no resemblance to the dish. It
        turns out that due to out of soy sauce, don't want to cook rice,
        and stale chow mien noodles, the end result was a mixture of chicken
        breast, fresh snow peas, oriental vegetables, chop suey gravy, and
        Worcestershire sauce over a bed of oyster crackers. After tasting
        it and complimenting her on the mixture, I commented that trying to
        pass that off as stir fry to anyone of Japanese descent might cause a
        repeat of the events of Dec. 7, 1941.. Hope you enjoy the chips and
        there is some leftover stir fry if your hungry. You'll have to bring
        your own oyster crackers though or you might have to eat it on a bed
        of French Toast Sticks.. heh heh .. buffalo


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        Lawyer Chips

        A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a
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        Coffin Chips

        A man is walking home alone late one night when
        he hears a loud BUMP BUMP! behind him.

        Walking faster, he looks back, and makes out the image
        of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle
        of the street towards him.BUMP, BUMP....

        Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin
        bouncing quickly behind him, faster and faster.
        BUMP, BUMP, BUMP...

        He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys,
        opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.

        But the coffin crashes through his door, with its lid clapping
        -- clappity-BUMP! -- on the heels of the terrified man.

        Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in.
        His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in
        sobbing gasps.

        With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down
        the door, bumping and clapping towards him.

        The man screams and reaches for something, anything!
        but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup.
        Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the coffin...
        The coffin stops.


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        Sales Chips

        What the Store-employees really mean...

        1. "Can I help you get a size?"
        Don't touch that, I just spent an hour folding it and I don't need
        hands messing it up again.

        2. "Do you need help with anything?"
        Quick, my manager is coming around the corner and I need to look busy.

        3. "Welcome to <<Store Name Here>>"
        Good, another customer to mess up my entire store just to buy a pair

        4. "Have a nice day!"
        Now that you ruined mine

        5. "Thank you for shopping at <<Store Name Here>>"
        Thanks for emptying your wallet with us!

        6. "Do you need a shopping cart to help you carry your items?"
        The more you can carry, the more you can buy!

        7. "I love your shirt! Where did you get it?"
        Your shirt is much nicer than the clothes we sell here, why are you
        shopping here?

        8. "Can I help you get something down?"
        I'll get a ladder and put it up for you since this other nice
        put in the absolute wrong place.

        9. "Don't worry about folding it, I can do it"
        You would just mess it up again if you folded it.

        10. "No, we don't have any more in the back"
        I just don't want to check


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        Rat Chips

        A rat looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his
        opening a package. What food might it contain? He was aghast to
        that it was a rat trap. Retreating to the barnyard the rat proclaimed
        warning; "There's a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!"

        The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Excuse
        me, Mr.
        Rat, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no
        to me. I cannot be bothered by it." The rat turned to the pig and
        told him,
        "There's a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!" "I am so
        sorry Mr. Rat," sympathized the pig, "but there is nothing I can do
        about it
        but pray. Be assured that you are in my prayers." The rat turned to
        the cow.
        She said, "Like wow, Mr. Rat. a rat trap. I am in grave danger. Duh?"
        So the
        rat returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the
        farmer's rat
        trap alone.

        That very night a sound was heard throughout the house, like the
        sound of a
        rat trap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was
        In the darkness, she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose
        tail the
        trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed
        her to
        the hospital. She returned home with a fever. Now everyone knows you
        treat a
        fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the
        barnyard for the soup's main ingredient.

        His wife's sickness continued so that friends and neighbors came to
        sit with
        her around the clock. To feed them the farmer butchered the pig. The
        farmer's wife did not get well. She died, and so many people came for
        funeral that the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide meat for
        all of
        them to eat.

        So the next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think
        that it
        does not concern you, remember that when there is a rat trap in the
        the whole barnyard's at risk.


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        Land Chips

        Two Texans are sitting on a plane from Dallas and an old Jewish Texan
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        02. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error
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        03. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee.
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        04. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's
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        05. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete
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        06. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and
        spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

        07. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up
        and flags it as a rush delivery.

        08. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's
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        09. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T.
        person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the
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        10. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have
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        11. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply
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        12. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times.
        Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

        13. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to
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        Parting Chips

        My wife, a flight attendant for a major airline, watched one day as
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        bin of the
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        "When I fly other airlines," he said irritably, "I don't have this
        My wife smiled and replied, "When you fly other airlines, I don't
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        Bonus Chip

        A 4-year-old son was eating an apple in the back seat of the car,
        when he asked,
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        "Because," his dad explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat
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        From The Buffalos Mail Box

        Around the scuttlebutt with the Buffalo
        ( A modern scuttlebutt is a water cooler and on old ships as
        sailors stood around the water cask rumors, sea stories and
        useful info was spread )

        Last night at 10:30, JEdgar died from cancer. He was 1 !/2 years
        He passed peacefully over while being cuddled in the arms of Todd.
        funeral service will be held today at 2 pm. JEdgar was a very active
        rat with a crazy sense of humor. He traveled quite a bit around this
        place and was not scared of anything. He made us laugh a lot.
        He was bigger than his runt brother, Dicky, who is slightly retarded
        but very cuddly and sweet and funny. (We thought Dicky would leave us
        before JEdgar.) He was born at PetSmart here in Austin and had a
        free and loving personality. His memory will live on in our hearts
        forever. Dicky has an appt. with the doctor to make sure he is
        and will live longer than his deceased brother. The average rat life
        span is about 2-3 years. It's a sad day for us all.

        buffalo says This letter is from last month at a time when we were
        experiencing several deaths amongst our readers and I thought that
        to annnounce the death of any pet, rodent ,feline ,or canin on the
        day would be insensitive and reserved the letter for another time.
        My belated condolences on the death of your pet and I am sure there
        is a spot on the Rainbow Bridge for rats too.


        This letter is long but powerful. Print it and take a quiet minute
        away to
        read it.

        At A Wisconsin Memorial Service; The Public Finally Got It


        By Deputy Chief Rick Conception, Winthrop Harbor (Ill.) Police

        I went to the police memorial service for officers Robert Etter and
        Stephanie Markins of the Hobart, Wisconsin police Department last

        An angry man who intentionally rammed his pickup truck at over 70 mph
        the side of their squad car -- as they sat parked on a side street
        over paperwork -- and killed the two police officers. As is
        traditional in
        police work we wanted to attend the service to both pay our respects
        represent our agency.

        My partner and I left early in the morning to complete the long
        two-and-a-half-hour drive from Winthrop Harbor, Ill. to Green Bay,
        Wisconsin. I've been to other police funerals so I sort of knew what

        There would be the usual memorials and speakers. There would be the
        procession of police cars that would perturb motorists who really
        care about what happened but simply wanted to get to their
        destinations as
        quickly as possible. Every now and then someone walking along the
        might glance up for a moment, then continue on their way. People
        their lawn or washing their car would scarcely even notice all the
        cars parading by. And at the memorial site a preacher and some
        would speak and we would all eventually cry.

        I am not ashamed to cry at these things, as a matter of fact I always
        "I cry proudly and unashamed!"

        Crying is part of the natural grieving process and as my father used
        say, "If God didn't mean for us to cry he wouldn't have given us tear

        I've always considered it a point of pride that Cops cry for one
        My friends in the business world don't experience that type of bond
        their fellow workers. If a man or woman in the human resources
        of your local corporate America business firm passes away you'd never
        business people from all the surrounding firms, much less people
        from out
        of state businesses coming to pay their respects. That type of bond
        isn't there.

        But in Law Enforcement, when a Cop is killed in the line of duty you
        Cops from all over the country driving there to show their respects
        attend the funeral.

        Why? It's because we understand that we must rely on each other for
        very survival. I always remind my friends who work in corporate
        that there isn't people hating them and trying to kill them simply
        of what they do. But police officers are targeted everyday by people
        to harm or kill us simply because we're police officers. And as I was
        to find out people are finally starting to understand this.

        We arrived to the normal scene of hundreds of police cars lined up
        for the
        procession. There was the traditional motorcycle officers ("Motors'
        they're known in police circles) that would be leading the procession
        the memorial or burial site. We got out of the car and began the
        walking around looking at the cars from all the jurisdictions. A loud
        reunion of friends who had not seen each other since the last police
        funeral could be sporadically heard erupting every now and then.
        had washed and waxed their cars so they would look good and everyone
        had on
        their best uniforms. All had the dark mourning band across their
        badge of

        Whether it was a star, shield, circle, or any other badge of office a
        of dark cloth to show mourning and respect for the fallen officers
        respectfully covered it.

        One of the 'host officers' directed us to the refreshment table where
        could get the usual soft drinks, coffee, and snacks while we waited
        for the
        procession to begin. Since there were so many cars and officers
        present the
        snack table was some two blocks away. No problem. We needed to
        stretch our
        legs anyway after the long drive. It was when we began walking that I
        my first clue that this one was going to be different.

        As we walked along the road I did what all Cops do and began looking
        and taking in my surroundings always looking for the danger or the
        threat. But I saw neither this day. Instead I saw something that I
        never seen in my 15 years on the job, I saw people lining both sides
        of the
        road. They weren't washing their cars, mowing their lawns, or trying
        not to
        be seen by us. Instead they were sitting, standing, pulling out more
        to sit on, bringing their children out, and even bringing out
        bound elderly people!

        They did not avert their gaze the way a lot of street people do when
        look at them. Instead they stared back at us and locked our gaze. Not
        in a
        challenging or disrespectful way but instead they gave us a look of
        sympathy, caring, as if they were sharing our pain. I found myself
        averting my gaze, puzzled by what I was seeing. For as long as I can
        remember the police have always been the "red headed step children"
        of the
        public safety world. All love the Fire Department and all seem to
        the Police. That's the way it's always been.

        There's a popular joke that says "The fire department kicks in your
        breaks out your windows, burns your house down while filling your
        with thousands of gallons of water and people love them! We (Police)
        down a door to serve a search warrant on a drug house and we get
        There's truth in all humor as the saying goes and this joke is one
        understood by both firefighters and police alike. But on this day I
        seeing any of that dislike or hate in the faces of these people
        lining the
        road. I was seeing genuine caring and, as I was about to find out
        very soon,
        this warmth here was just the tip of the iceberg.

        We heard a quick blast of a police siren and soon saw the flashing
        red and
        blue lights of the squad cars begin to come to life and we knew it
        was time
        to begin the long procession to the memorial site. First the
        cops roared by, along our right side ahead of the limousines with the
        tinted windows that carried the families of the slain officers. As
        cars slowly began to move we tucked our squad car tightly in behind
        the one
        in front of us. As we passed block after block we saw the same thing
        and over, a lot of people lining the roads as we passed.

        I commented to my partner that this was kind of unusual and he said
        as his head just moved back and forth taking in the sight of all the
        people. Then, as we drove under a viaduct we saw something that just
        touched our heart so very deeply. Standing on the side of the road
        were two
        young girls holding up signs.

        These girls weren't smiling or giggling as most young girls do in
        group settings, instead they had a somber and respectful look on
        face. I think my partner and I must have read the signs at the same
        Written in red and blue letters on white poster bard was the message
        moment I read that simple message and saw the looks on those kids'
        faces I
        could feel the tears come streaming down my face. My partner who had
        started to cry blurted out "I was doing good up until now."

        I could only reply with a very coarse "yeah". I sat there in the
        seat of our squad car with tears running down my face falling onto my
        blue uniform. Every time we hit even the lightest of bumps my medals
        on my
        uniform would clank together and tears would drip down off of my
        onto my jacket. It took me several minutes to gather myself together
        to talk to my partner. "This is like nothing I've ever seen before" I

        There were hundreds of people lining the procession routes. They were
        sizes, shapes, colors, and ages. Many were waving flags some were
        but all wore that same sympathetic somber look that I had seen with
        people on the lawn when I first arrived. It was touching! My entire
        those two little words -- "Thank You", that I would have died for --
        were on signs held by kids and in the eyes of everyone I looked at!

        It was just so overwhelming that I really didn't know how to take
        it. I
        wanted to have my partner stop the car so I could get out and run
        into the
        arms of these people, bury my head in their shoulder and cry my eyes
        It seems that too many times in the job of a police officer we cannot
        ourselves to become emotional at even the most tragic of calls.

        We have to be strong and concentrate on out duties. But here today at
        memorial service it was our turn to cry, our turn to let loose with
        emotions and for the first time I felt joined with the public that I
        and I wanted to sit down and have a good old fashioned cry with them.
        all I could manage was a slight wave every now and then and a slight
        We just did not know how to take all this show of solidarity and

        A few miles later it was my partners turn to have his emotional
        moment. My
        partner was a former Fire Fighter and one of the highest honors
        tributes that a fire department can give is that of the "Crossed
        Aerials." This is when two fire trucks with tall extendable ladders
        each other and extend the ladders to their highest reach and cross
        ladders in the center, and thus you have the "Crossed Aerials."

        As we made a turn I heard him exclaim "Oh no! This is it!" and I
        ahead and there they were, two ladder fire trucks with their tall
        ladders raised and crossed in salute over the road. We would drive
        under them. This was the first time in my career that I have ever
        seen this
        most honorable of fire service salutes rendered to a police officer,
        and it
        was very moving. Tears again!

        As we traveled this 10-mile route the people lining the roads were
        tremendous. They stood out there in the hot sun holding signs,
        flags, and saluting us. I was beginning to wonder if I would have any
        left to cry when I got the actual ceremony.

        When we finally pulled into the beautiful park where the ceremony was
        take place, we were met by the sight of all the Motor officers
        standing at
        the position of 'parade rest' in front of their big Harley Davidson

        We parked and made our way to the ceremonial area where the podium
        hairs were set up. I was amazed at all the media trucks with their
        satellite dishes set up and cameras everywhere. At first I was a
        little put
        off by the media because my first thoughts were that I wanted this to
        somewhat private. I wanted to stand here with my 300 to 500 'brothers
        sisters in arms' and have a good cry. I didn't want the whole world
        watching me stand there crying my eyes out.

        But then the more I thought about it the more I realized that I was
        the media was there because I wanted them to see how we all pull
        when one of our own is senselessly killed. I wanted the people to see
        we are humans and we do hurt just like anyone else who doesn't wear a
        uniform and risk their life.

        The ceremony started and the first speaker put the whole thing into
        for me. Pastor Dan Carlson, speaking with an emotionally filled voice
        crackled as he held back his own tears, spoke of the September 11th
        and how it pulled the country together. Then he said that as he saw
        all the
        support and love for the police and firefighters who put their lives
        on the
        line every day he said "I was so glad to see that "THEY FINALLY GOT
        IT! NOW

        There were many other speakers and there many tears cried that day by
        people whom you would not normally see moved to that type of emotion.
        like Pastor Dan Carlson, I am so thankful that people finally
        what I've been trying to explain for the past 15 years to people I
        that we put our lives on the line willingly and all we ask in return
        is a
        simple 'Thank You'!

        Police officers do not put their life on the line for pay, for
        medals, for
        letters of recognition or anything like that. We do what we do for
        other and for the people for whom we serve. Ours is a noble
        profession of
        Duty, Honor, and Service. For that commitment we are underpaid,
        suffer the
        highest divorce rates in the nation, and often times are killed or
        in the line of duty.

        And for all that a simple 'Thank You' is all we would hope for in
        reward or
        recognition. What kind of men and women does it take to accept such a
        horrendous calling? Ask yourself that the next time you see a police

        "I found that writing my reflections down helps me to deal with and
        vent my

        Rick Conception
        Deputy Chief
        Winthrop Harbor PD

        Editor's Note,
        Rick Conception is Deputy Chief for the Winthrop Harbor Police
        He has been on the job for 15 years and has seen a great deal many
        (as many other Cops have) both good and bad.

        A Michigander


        "OLD SHEP"
        Words and Music by Red Foley
        Performed by Elvis Presley
        Sequenced by Deb Ackley

        THE MUSIC"

        In August 1936, an ill sheepherder was hospitalized in Fort Benton,
        Montana. His faithful working companion, a Border Collie, waited
        patiently outside the hospital for his friend's recovery ... but it
        was not to be.

        "Old Shep"

        Subsequently, the shepherd's relatives decided to have his body be
        sent back east for his burial. In the lonely procession that
        followed from the hospital to the train depot, the identity and
        relationship of the whining dog that accompanied the casket was lost.

        The dog was prevented from boarding the train, and soon thereafter
        came to be known as "Old Shep." The dog patiently and methodically
        held a vigil to insure reunion with his beloved friend. For five-and-
        one-half years, "Old Shep" met each passenger train as it chugged
        into the station and unboarded its passengers, anticipating his
        partner's return.

        Old Shep's story exemplifies the devotion and faithfulness of dogs
        everywhere. Shep's story was carried in newspapers throughout the
        country and overseas. It appeared in the "London Daily
        Express," "The New York Times" and in "Ripley's Believe It Or Not."

        Occurring in the shadow of the Great Depression and the advent of
        World War II, this story took on an added significance for those who
        mourned the departure of loved ones and hoped for their safe return.

        Old Shep became and still remains a patron saint of loyalty, patience
        and friendship. On January 12, 1942, Shep "rejoined his best
        friend." Shep was so famous that at the time of his death, the wire
        services of "Associated Press" and "United Press International"
        carried his obituary along with the war news. Shep's funeral was two
        days later. He was laid to rest on the bluff overlooking the train

        I quote Dennis the Menace

        "If There Ain't No Dogs In Heaven
        ... It Ain't Heaven!"
        On October 3, 1945, ten-year-old Elvis Presley climbed atop a chair
        to reach the microphone and performed the song "Old Shep" for a crowd
        of several hundred at the Tupelo fair, coming in fifth place in the
        talent contest. Ten years later, the King created his first full-
        scale riot after an appearance in Jacksonville at a baseball park.
        Girls poured through an overhead window, catching the police off
        guard, and stole or shredded almost every stitch of clothing Elvis
        had on. He scaled the shower area and clung to the pipes overhead
        while fans clamored to touch and take home a piece of him.

        Old Shep
        Written by - Foley & Westpar
        When I was a lad
        And Old Shep was a pup
        Over hills and meadows we'd stray
        Just a little boy and his dog
        We were both full of fun
        We grew up together that way

        I remember the time at the old swimming hole
        When I would have drowned beyond doubt
        But Old Shep was right there
        To the rescue he came
        He jumped in and then pulled me out

        As the years fast roll
        Old Shep he grew old
        His eyes were fast growing dim
        And one day the doctor looked at me and said
        I can do no more for your dog

        With hands that were trembling
        I picked up my gun
        And aimed it at Shep's faithful head
        I just couldn't do it
        I wanted to run
        I wish they would shoot me instead

        He came to my side
        And looked up at me
        And laid his old head on my knee
        I had struck the best friend that a man ever had
        I cried so I scarcely could see

        Old Shep he has gone
        Where the good doggies go
        And no more with old Shep will I roam
        But if dogs have a heaven
        There's one thing I know
        Old Shep has a wonderful home
        Goodbye, Max, my perfect boy

        Virginia Campbell


        Seeing the Hurricane Camile story reminded me of one from Mobile,

        This was told to me for the truth by my first "real" boss at the
        State Docks. He was from an old Mobile family & Catholic, also.

        Seems most of downtown (all there was then) Mobile was destroyed
        around the
        turn of the 20th century by a huge hurricane. Bishop Toolen
        responded by
        giving a group of Carmelite nuns in town the responsibility to pray
        protection from hurricanes.

        Things were fine for a long while. My boss told me this story in '75
        when a
        major storm was predicted--Mobile hadn't had a direct hit since
        the "big
        one" & Mr. Collins assured me that the Carmelites were still there.
        from about 100 miles inland, I was still nervous, but this one
        veered, too,
        & Mobile had no direct hits.

        In September of 1979, Frederick roared through. Unless you had seen
        damage from Camile (I had. My parents worked with the rescue squad &
        we all
        went over the next day), you could'nt imagine the destruction. My
        memory was a grove of pine trees just north of the city. They were
        12-15 feet tall & every one of the them was leaning at a 45 degree
        after the storm. They stayed at the angle until they were harvested
        year later.

        Found out later that the Carmelites had almost died out & the last
        ones were
        sent away from Mobile in the mid 70s. I understand the then current
        got them back! Mobile hasn't had a direct hit since.

        As a afterthought, I had gotten married on Saturday before the storm
        hit on
        Wednesday. Having no money, we had stayed in my husband's apartment
        for a
        "honeymoon". He was a newman & got called into work on Tuesday
        I didn't see or hear from him until Friday night. Not many people
        can say
        they spent their honeymoon alone, but thank the Lord, he was ok.


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