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  • william brabant
    Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. I received a disturbing piece of humor this morning that I
    Message 1 of 56 , Nov 2, 2000
      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
      I received a disturbing piece of humor this morning that I
      can't, even as a hard core Republican let slide:


      Due to an anticipated voter turnout much larger than originally
      expected, polling facilities may not be able to handle the load all
      at once.

      Therefore, Republicans are requested to vote on Tuesday, November 7,
      Democrats and Independents on Wednesday, November 8.

      Please pass this message along and help us to make sure that nobody
      left out.

      - 2000 Presidential Election Commission

      I think it is really unfair to make the Democrats and Independents
      make the trip to the polls for nothing when their voting day is
      Thursday the 9th..
      Have a great Thursday and payday is just around the corner.
      like the weeks are getting shorter and the chips are getting better.


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      Seal Chips

      One day a squad of Navy Seals was making for an objective in their
      boat. With each stroke of the paddle, they whispered that particularly
      unique Seal grunt - ooyah. Ooyah ... ooyah ... ooyah. God looked down
      above and was beside himself with pride knowing that He could not
      have done
      any better than when He made HIS Seals.

      Thinking to Himself, God decided to test precisely just how good His
      were in fact. God raised His arms and "ZAP", took away 1/2 of all the
      brains in the dingy. There they were, seven Seals in a dingy, still
      for their objective - ooyah, ooyah, ooyah.

      With glee God rub his hands, then raised his arms again and "ZAP", He
      away 1/2 of the Seals remaining brains. The Seals in their rubber
      making for their objective now had only 1/4 of their original brains.
      determined, they stroked on - ooyah, ooyah, ooyah.

      God was nearly hysterical with joy over knowing that His creation
      still function as a viable, forward deployed, tactical fighting force
      very nearly all of their brains removed. Dare I, thought God? Shall
      I? YES!
      And God raised his arms and in an instant, "ZAP"! God took away all
      of the
      seals remaining brains.

      And there they were, a seven man forward deployed, tactical fighting
      in a rubber dingy, with no brains, making for their objective -
      singing -
      "From the hills of Montizuma, to the shores of Tripoli. We will fight
      countries battles..."


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      Your Call Chips From Joan

      This is the transcript of an imaginary radio conversation of
      a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of
      . Newfoundland.

      Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees South to avoid a

      Americans: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees North to avoid

      Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert YOUR course 15 degrees
      to the
      South to avoid a collision.

      Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert

      Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

      THAT YOU

      Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.


      Toon Chips

      Why Ally McBeal is single


      Stuttering Chips

      A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter
      in a department store and asks, "W-w-w-where`s the
      m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"

      The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
      The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s

      Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him. The guy asks several
      more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"

      And the clerk just seems to ignore him. Finally, the guy is angry
      and storms off. The customer who was waiting in line behind the guy
      asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"

      The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want
      to get b-b-b-beat up?!!"


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      Pope Chips

      The Pope was on a visit to New York to speak to
      the General Assembly at the UN. The Secretary General
      was to pick him up personally at the airport but, being
      detained by some crisis or another, sent his personal limo
      on ahead instead.

      The driver held up a sign that simply said "Pope" and
      explained to the Pope what had happened and that
      he was there to take him to UN headquarters. He invited
      the Pope to sit in the back of the limo. The Pope got in and,
      boy, was he impressed: 9 yard leather seats, one-way tinted
      glass, Dom P. on ice, air conditioning, sliding sun roof, stereo,
      television with satellite dish, computer and fax machine, magic
      under the seat, all of the comforts.

      Then the Pope saw the driver: Walkman headphones on, wrap
      around Raybans, leather racing gloves, elbow out the window,
      wind blowing in the hair, and so on.

      The Pope knocked on the glass and said: "My good man, I have
      a proposition for you. I bet you have never sat back here before
      and I have never driven one of these things before so, what do you
      shall we trade places? You come back here and let me drive?"

      The driver resisted at first but eventually agreed. He pulled over to
      the curb, go out, let the Pope behind the wheel and settled into the
      back with the bottle of bubbly.

      The Pope adjusted the mirrors, put on the headphones, turned up Tina
      Turner, stuck his elbow out the window and stuck his foot in it: 80
      100, 120, settled in at 140 mph and flew right past a motorcycle cop.

      The cop switched on the overhead, gave chase and, with much
      finally pulled the limo over about two miles down the road. He
      swaggered over to the driver side, rapped on the window and started to
      say: "Look buddy, what in the holy crap do you think you are ...." and
      he saw the Pope behind the wheel.

      He went back to his motorcycle and got the shift sergeant on the

      He said: "Sarge, Mullaney here, look I have pulled over this limo here
      on 47th Street for speeding and we got a problem. It's a VIP."

      The sergeant said: "OK Mike, I understand, tell me. Just how
      is he? Is he, for instance, more important than the Chief of Police?"

      Mullaney said: "Yes Sarge, more important than the Chief."

      "Alright", said the Sergeant, "is he more important than, say, the

      Mullaney said that he was even more important than the Mayor.

      The Sergeant asked: "The Governor?" and Mullaney answered: "Yes,
      Sarge, more important than the Governor even."

      The Sergeant said: "But, surely, not more important than the Senator?"
      Mullaney replied that this VIP was much more important than even
      the Senator.

      The Sergeant began to be a bit worried and asked: "God man, you
      didn't stop the President of the United States did you?"

      The cop said: "No sir I didn't, but this man is even more important
      than the President."

      The sergeant said: "More important even than the President of the
      UNITED STATES OF AMERICA? Then tell me, who is it?"

      The cop said: "Well Sarge, I can't rightly say who he is but I can
      tell you this. His driver is the Pope!"


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      Mom Chips

      Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,

      Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine
      I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you have a nice
      holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother.
      I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope
      spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never buys them
      nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
      Thank you so much for the birthday flowers, dear boy. I put them in
      freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds me -- we
      Grandma last week. I know she died years ago, but I got to yearning
      for a
      good funeral so Aunt Berta and I dug her up and had the services all
      again. I would have invited you, but I know that woman you live with
      have never let you come. I bet she's never even watched that
      videotape of
      my hemorrhoid surgery, has she?
      Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane
      off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me. I'm also getting
      to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the
      on my bed numbs the constant pain.
      Now don't you even think about sending any more money, because I know
      need it for those expensive family vacations you take every year.
      my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards to whatever-her-name-
      --the one with the black roots in her hair who stole you screaming
      from my

      Merry Christmas,.
      Love, Mom


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      Grave Chips

      Our blonde teens, Muffy and Buffy, are taking a shortcut through
      the old Catholic cemetery when they begin to notice a few of
      the more interesting epitaphs.

      "Look at this headstone," says Muffy. "It says a guy by the name
      of Agostino, from Sicily, lived to the age of 93."

      "Gee, that's old," says Buffy. "But look at this one -- 'Cesar
      Sanchez -- Born in Mexico City, Died in Los Angeles, Age 97.'"

      They continue strolling through the cemetery until Muffy stops

      in her tracks and exclaims, "Whoaaaaaaaa! Look at that headstone
      across the path -- there's an Irish guy who died when he was 145
      years old!"

      "Wow!" says Buffy. "What was his name?"

      "Miles," says Muffy.

      "I can barely see the headstone from here," says Buffy. "Where
      does it say how old he was? And Irish?"

      Muffy peers at the stone across the path and reads aloud:

      "Died 145 Miles from Dublin."


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      Car Chips

      My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check
      for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for
      a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a
      clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk.

      Back at the shop, he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the
      problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager
      with this notation: "Remove bowling ball from trunk".


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      Parting Chips

      A group of U.S. soldiers arriving in Macedonia found themselves
      taking a
      surprise refresher course on first aid. Following an involved lesson
      making splints, dressing wounds and applying tourniquets to stop
      the instructor decided to determine how well the class had grasped the
      information given.
      "Jones," he said, pointing to one of the solders, "say your platoon
      sustains a head injury during a cross-country march. What do you do
      "That's easy, Sir," said Jones. "I wrap a tourniquet around his neck
      tighten it until the bleeding stops."
    • buffalosjokes2001
      Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. The first Sat in Feb. is traditionally the running
      Message 56 of 56 , Jan 24, 2002
        Clean Clean

        Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
        name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

        The first Sat in Feb. is traditionally the running of the
        500 snowmobile race in the Sault. It is tied in with other items
        such as a winter carnival happening in both Saults. This year we
        have a distinct lack of snow and more importantly cold.
        Snowmobile races are not run on snow but on ice. Currently
        about 400,000 gallons of water has been laid down to give 5
        inches of ice which is a lot less than normally used and it has
        been predicted that it will not last through the time trials and
        the race will be run on mud. This would tend to make the race
        slower and a lot more dirtier than usual. The weather is showing
        no hope of cooperating unless the weatherman is totally wrong.
        A lot of people are hoping because besides being a long time
        tradition , it is a chance for everyone to drive their machines on
        the streets for a few days and show off. I guess if I was going to
        spend 8,000 for a toy I would expect the same thing. Anybody
        out there that can do a snow and cold weather dance??
        Enjoy the Chips.. buffalo


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        Aged Chips From Dianne

        You know you're growing old when..

        You've come to the annoying realization that your parents were right
        almost everything.

        The bag boy volunteers to help load groceries into your car-in
        the "ten
        items or less" lane.

        You've stopped supporting your children, and started supporting your

        You've found yourself discussing the weather.

        You remember your kid's names, just not always the right one.

        You have nightmares about forgetting to move the garbage cans to the
        street for the garbage collector.

        Your high school yearbook is now home to three different species of

        You buy "age-defying" makeup and "anti-wrinkle" creams and believe

        You've realized that all those geeky people in Bermuda shorts walking
        around Disney World include you.

        You recognize Led Zeppelin songs that have been turned into elevator

        As a public service, you have agreed to never appear on the beach in
        Speedo again.

        You've had three opportunities to buy every single Disney Animated
        Classic-"for the last time in a generation"

        You'd pay good money to be strip-searched.

        Wal-Mart and Target seem to share your fashion sense.

        The only way you know to stop a virtual pet from beeping involves the
        patio and a sledgehammer.

        You can pack two suits, Five shirts, five ties, five pairs of
        five pairs of socks, a pair of shoes, and half of your bathroom into
        carry-on bag-in less than five minutes.

        You know what Earth Shoes are.

        You think if you hear "Stairway to Heaven" one more time your head

        Your weight-lifting program seems to have no effect on your muscles,
        the veins on the backs of your hands are bulking up quite nicely.

        On Saturday night, when your wife mentions "hot oil, a little
        and squealing," you tell her you'll have the Cadillac looked at first
        Monday morning.


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        Toon Chips

        Redneck Horseshoes
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        Identity Crisis

        They drive like animals

        There's a sucker born every minute


        Famous Last Chips from rubin

        "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered
        as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to
        us." --
        Western Union internal memo, 1876.

        "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who
        would pay
        for a message sent to nobody in particular?" -- David Sarnoff's
        in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

        "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn
        than a ' C,' the idea must be feasible." -- A Yale University
        professor in response to Fred Smith's paper proposing reliable
        delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

        "Who the h*** wants to hear actors talk?" -- H.M. Warner, Warner

        "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not
        Gary Cooper." -- Gary Cooper, on his decision to not take the leading
        role in "Gone With The Wind."

        "A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports
        America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you
        make." --
        Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.

        "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." --
        Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

        "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible." -- Lord Kelvin,
        president, Royal Society, 1895.

        "If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The
        literature was full of examples that said you can't do this." --
        Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M
        "Post-It" Notepads.

        "So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing,
        built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us?
        Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary,
        we'll come
        work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett-
        and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through
        yet.'" -- Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get
        and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.

        "You want to have consistent and uniform muscle development across all
        of your muscles? It can't be done. It's just a fact of life. You
        to accept inconsistent muscle development as an unalterable condition
        weight training." -- Response to Arthur Jones, who solved
        the "unsolvable"
        problem by inventing Nautilus.

        "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil?
        crazy." -- Drillers whom Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist in his
        project to
        drill for oil in 1859.

        "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." --
        Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929.

        "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value." -- Marechal
        Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.

        "Everything that can be invented has been invented." --
        Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

        "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction". -- Pierre
        Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872.

        "No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris." --
        Orville Wright.....Famous 'Last' Words


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        EMT Chips

        To: All EMS Personnel
        From: Chief of Operations
        Subject: Proper Narrative Descriptions

        It has come to our attention from several emergency rooms that many
        narratives have taken a decidedly creative direction lately. Effective
        immediately, all members are to refrain from using slang and
        to describe patients, such as the following.

        1) Cardiac patients should not be referred to as suffering from MUH
        up heart), PBS (pretty bad shape), PCL (pre-code looking) or HIBGIA
        (had it
        before, got it again).

        2) Stroke patients are NOT "Charlie Carrots." Nor are rescuers to use
        CCFCCP(Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs) to describe their mental state.

        3) Trauma patients are not CATS (cut all to sh*t), FDGB (fall down, go
        boom), TBC (total body crunch) or "hamburger helper." Similarly,
        descriptions of a car crash do not have to include phrases
        like "negative
        vehicle to vehicle interface" or "terminal deceleration syndrome."

        4) HAZMAT teams are highly trained professionals, not "glow worms."

        5) Persons with altered mental states as a result of drug use are not
        considered "pharmaceutically gifted."

        6) Gunshot wounds to the head are not "trans-occipital implants."

        7) The homeless are not "urban outdoorsmen," nor is endotracheal
        referred to as a "PVC Challenge."

        8) And finally, do not refer to recently deceased persons as
        being "paws
        up," ART (assuming room temperature), CC (Cancel Christmas), CTD
        the drain), DRT (dead right there) or NLPR (no long playing records).

        I know you will all join me in respecting the cultural diversity of
        patients to include their medical orientations in creating proper
        and log entries.


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        Rabbi Chips
        There was this rabbi in a small town, and he was
        really curious about why so many people ate pork.
        He really wanted to try some, but there was
        in town he could go and not be seen. One weekend,
        he made and excuse and traveled to a distant
        went into a restaurant, and ordered the roasted

        While he's waiting for his order to be prepared,
        president of his congregation walks in. He sees
        rabbi and asks if he could join him for dinner,
        the rabbi has no choice but to agree.

        A while later, the waiter returns with the
        rabbi's meal.
        He takes the cover off the platter, and there is
        a whole
        roast pig, with an apple in its mouth.

        The congregation president is more than a little
        surprised....Shocked he was !

        Quickly the rabbi said.."What a fancy place,"
        explains the rabbi,
        "Just look at how they served the baked apple I


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        Due to economic restraints, employees must use the following
        calisthenics to

        Jumping to conclusions,
        Beating around the bush,
        Starting the ball rolling...
        Climbing the walls,
        Bending over backwards,
        Wading through paperwork...
        Balancing the books,
        Jumping on the bandwagon,
        Passing the buck...
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        Train Chips From Tom P.

        In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George Bush, Janet Reno
        and Bo
        Derek. After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a
        tunnel and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

        When they leave the tunnel, Clinton has a big red slap mark on his

        (1) Bo Derek thought - "That sleazeball Clinton wanted to touch me
        and by
        mistake, he must have put his hand on Janet Reno, who in turn must
        slapped his face."

        (2) Janet Reno thought - "That dirty Bill Clinton laid his hands on
        Bo Derek
        and she smacked him."

        (3) Bill Clinton thought - "George put his hand on Bo Derek and by
        she slapped me."

        (4) George Bush thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I

        knock the heck out of Clinton again."


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        protects your privacy...



        Tough Chips

        One morning, while shaving, John was cursing and swearing so
        loudly it attracted the attention of Vickie, who was preparing
        breakfast in the kitchen.

        "What's the matter?" she called out.

        "My razor - it won't cut!" he answered.

        "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell
        me your beard is tougher than the linoleum that it cut



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        From The Buffalos Mail Box

        Around the scuttlebutt with the Buffalo
        ( A modern scuttlebutt is a water cooler and on old ships as sailors
        around the water cask rumors, sea stories and useful info was spread )

        MUST READ..www.snopes.com may say this is a hoax eventually but to
        the servicemen and women
        who are affected by this type thinking I am passing it on
        anyway..There is a lot of truths here
        that need to be addressed..

        "Army of One" AIRBORNE

        On 12 November, Ms Cindy Williams (from the Laverne and Shirley
        TV show) wrote a piece for the Washington Times denouncing the pay
        raise(s) coming service members' way this year - citing that the
        stated 13% wage gap wasbogus. A young airman from Hill AFB responds
        to her article below. He ought to get a bonus for this!
        Ms. Williams:

        I just had the pleasure of reading your column of 12 Nov, "Our
        GIs earn enough" and I am a bit confused. Frankly, I'm wondering
        where this
        vaunted overpayment is going, because as far as I can tell, it
        disappears every month between DFAS (The Defense Finance and
        Accounting Service) and my bank account. Checking my latest leave and
        earnings statement (LES), I see that I make $1,117.80, before taxes.
        After taxes, I take home $874.20. When I run that through Windows'
        Calculator, I come up with an annual salary of $13,413.60 before
        taxes, and $10,490.40 after.

        I work in the Air Force Network Control Center (AFNCC), where I am
        part of the team responsible for the administration of a 5,000-host
        computer network. I am involved with infrastructure segments,
        specifically with Cisco Systems equipment. A quick check under jobs
        for Network
        Technicians in the Washington, D.C. area reveals a position in my
        career field, requiring three years experience with my job.
        Amazingly, this job does NOT pay $13,413.60 a year, nor does it pay
        less than this. No, this job is being offered at $70,000 to $80,000
        per annum. I'm sure you can draw the obvious conclusions.
        Also, you tout increases to Basic Allowance for Housing and Basic
        Allowance for Subsistence (housing and food allowances, respectively)
        as being a further boon to an already overcompensated force. Again,
        I'm curious as to where this money has gone, as BAH and BAS were both
        slashed 15% in the Hill AFB area effective in January 00. Given the
        tenor of your column, I would assume that you have NEVER had the
        pleasure of serving your country in her armed forces. Before you take
        it upon yourself to once more castigate congressional and DOD
        leadership for attempting to get the families in the military's
        lowest pay brackets off AFDC, WIC, and food stamps, I suggest that
        you join a group of deploying soldiers headed for AFGHANISTAN, I
        leave the choice of service branch up to you. Whatever choice you
        make, though, opt for the SIX month rotation: it will
        guarantee you the longest possible time away from your family and
        friends, thus giving you full "deployment experience".
        As your group prepares to board the plane, make sure to note the
        and children who are saying good-bye to their loved ones. Also take
        care to note that several families are still unsure of how they'll be
        able to
        make ends meet while the primary breadwinner is gone, obviously
        they've been squandering the vast piles of cash the DOD has been
        giving them.
        Try to deploy over a major holiday; Christmas and Thanksgiving are
        perennial favorites. And when you're actually over there, sitting in
        DFP (Defensive Fire Position, the modern-day foxhole), shivering
        against the cold desert night, and the flight sergeant tells you that
        there aren't
        enough people on shift to relieve you for chow. Remember this, trade
        whatever MRE (meal-ready-to-eat) you manage to get for the tuna noodle
        casserole or cheese tortellini, and add Tabasco to everything, this
        gives some flavor.
        Talk to your loved ones as often as you are permitted; it won't
        be long enough or often enough, but take what you can get and be
        for it. You may have picked up on the fact that I disagree with most
        of the
        points you present in your op-ed piece. But, tomorrow from KABUL, I
        defend to the death your right to say it.
        You see, I am an American fighting man, a guarantor of your First
        Amendment rights and every other right you cherish. On a daily basis,
        my brother and sister soldiers worldwide ensure that you and people
        like you can thumb your collective nose at us, all on a salary that
        is nothing short of
        pitiful and under conditions that would make most people cringe.
        We hemorrhage our best and brightest into the private sector because
        can't offer the stability and pay of civilian companies. And you, Ms.
        Williams, have the gall to say that we make more than we deserve?

        A1C Michael Bragg, Hill AFB AFNCC


        Tom P.


        Hi Bill,
        Two things came to mind when reading your great column this morning.
        You say that you feel sorry for the parents of the traitor. From
        what I have read his father appears to condone what he did as he said
        that he stood behind his son. If this is true then he is just a
        guilty as the son who should be hung up by his you know whats and
        stoned to death.
        Second..Patty Hearst. wonder if she would have gotten off with what
        she did as easily as she did if her parents were not who they are?
        She is just a guilty as the rest of that crew is in my mind. I do not
        see how anyone who is supposedly as smart as she is can be
        brainwashed by a bunch of no do gooders as that group was.
        Just had to vent my feelings on this and am sure that you are going
        to hear from a lot of other people on this matter.
        Look forward to your column every day whether I agree with
        everything in it or not. Have a great day Sandy

        Buffalo says What did you expect him to say I let my kid run
        amok and he turned into a complete moron. Most parents will
        stand behind their kids, I blame the whole mess on Doctor
        Spock and don't spank your kids revolution.


        It's just Too bad that Dabney Coleman's Gone. He would have made
        the Perfect George W. Bush for the movie...
        Jack, Runner Up, Southeast Asian War Games"

        Works for me!!!!!! (LOL)



        I normally don't get involved in controversy but this time I feel
        like I have to speak. I'm not concerned if this gets put in the Chips
        or not--just have to let someone know. On the Wed. 1/22/02 Chips
        there were several things from Debbie that were facts. But when you
        sneeze if you force your eyes to stay open, they will NOT pop out.
        Your eyes are held in place by 4 major muscles and 2 minor ones and
        also by the optic nerves which is attached to the brain. Also I
        believe that people saying "Bless you" when a person sneezes has
        something to do with ancient times when people believed that sneezes
        had something to do with demons. But I cannot say exactly what it


        1) "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I
        don't like and just give her a house." * Steven Seagal
        Au contraire, Lewis Grizzard my favorite humor columnist. RIP Lewis.
        Jim Mc Quain


        Found the following in Michael Kesterton's column in the Globe
        and Mail (Toronto) and present it here verbatim:

        Discussing a young American loner who joined the Taliban and
        another who flew a stolen plane into a skyscraper, John Mayer of
        Chicago, a clinical psychologist and consultant to the FBI,
        wonders about the role of privilege: "You don't see urban kids
        doing these kinds of things; they're in survival mode. They don't
        have the luxury of going out and finding Islam in northern
        California or taking private flying lessons. Even those kids in
        Columbine, they had a garage full of weapons. Where would most
        kids get the time, resources and parental neglect to accomplish



        I got this very disturbing news article this morning from Helen.
        I thought you would like to read it.
        I didn't check it out. so if you do let me know. jr.


        jr hi y'all

        Buffalo Says Interesting read , anyone in Calif care to verify this?


        Makes you feel like some of our Hollywood folks care.

        Vets Ain't All That Bad Richard, (my Dad), never really talked a lot
        about his time in VietNam other than he had been shot by a sniper.
        However, he had a rather grainy, 8 x 10 black & white photo he had
        taken at a USO show of Ann Margaret with Bob Hope in the background
        that was one of his treasures.
        A few years ago, Ann Margaret was doing a book signing at a local
        bookstore. My Dad wanted to see if he could get her to sign the
        treasured photo so he arrived at the bookstore at 12 o'clock for the
        7:30 signing.
        When I got there after work, the line went all the way around the
        bookstore, circled the parking lot, and disappeared behind a parking
        Before her appearance, bookstore employees announced that she would
        sign only her book and no memorabilia would be permitted. my Dad was
        disappointed, but wanted to show her the photo and let her know how
        much those shows meant to all the Marines so far from home.
        Ann Margaret came out looking as beautiful as ever and, as 2nd in
        line, it was soon my Dad's turn. He presented the book for her
        signature and then took out the photo. When he did, there were many
        shouts from the employees she would not sign it. my Dad said, "I
        understand. I just wanted her to see it".

        She took one look at the photo, tears welled up in her eyes and she
        said, "This is one of my gentlemen from Viet Nam and I most certainly
        will sign his photo. I know what these men did for their country and
        I always have time for "my gentlemen". With that, she pulled my Dad
        across the table and planted a big kiss on him. She then made quite
        a to do about the bravery of the young men she met over the years,
        how much she admired them, and how much she appreciated them. There
        weren't too many dry eyes among those close enough to hear. She then
        posed for pictures and acted as if he was the only one there.
        Later at dinner, my Dad was very quiet. When I asked if he'd like to
        talk about it, my big strong Dad broke down in tears. "That's the
        first time anyone ever thanked me for my time in the "Marine Corps",
        he said.

        My Dad, like many others, came home to people who spit on him and
        shouted ugly things at him. That night was a turning point for him.
        He walked a little straighter and, for the first time in years, was
        proud to be a Vet. I'll never forget Ann Margaret for her
        graciousness and how much that small act of kindness meant to my
        Dad. I now make it a point to say "Thank You" to every person I come
        across who served in our Armed Forces.
        Freedom does not come cheap and I am grateful for all those who have
        served their country.

        From Lisa Slade Harris Richard's Daughter If you'd like to pass on
        this story, feel free to do so. Perhaps it will help others to
        become aware of how important it is to acknowledge the contribution
        our service people make.



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        Parting Chips

        Bidding at a local auction was proceeding
        furiously when the auctioneer suddenly
        announced, "A gentleman in this room has
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        Remember 9/11/01
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