Buffalos Chips Clean Chips For 2-15-12
- Clean Clean
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
After being scolded at the first of the year for sending sweet snacks
in for Eva's class Sandy and Buffy went out and got bananas and
tangerines for the Valentine's Day party instead of chocolate chip
cookies. Eva came home with her Valentine sack decorated with
paper hearts and in addition to a handful of Valentine's there was
cupcakes, cookies, and various candy. It was kind of funny after
being told about healthy to see Valentine's with Pixy Sticks stuck
through them which is just pure sugar with a little flavor added
but I am proud of the school. They have used common sense with
a healthy snack everyday but still allowing treats on the holidays
that are going to give these kids some of the same sweet memories
that we have. Actually though Eva's favorite of the day was fresh
buttered popcorn from the school's popcorn machine, she saved her
little bucket home and asked Sandy to make more popcorn and
refill it. Microwave or on the stove Orville's or store brand it just
isn't the same. We have had air poppers and butter bits and special
seasonings and that doesn't work either. Sandy still makes most of it
the way she has for thirty years. She has a two quart aluminum pan
that is missing the cover, so she puts a enamel cover on it from a pan
long gone. One would think that after 30 years Sandy would have the
ingredients down but each time about five minutes into the process
Sandy is screaming as popcorn is overflowing onto the burner and
catching fire. Then the smoke alarm goes off and Sandy is trying
to put all of the burning kernels with a towel heh heh.
I have prepared Eva for the next trip to the interventionalist.. I gave
her one of several old trac phones laying around and told her to put it
in her pocket and when the woman started talking to her, take it out and
say, Scotty, Beam me out of here. Eva has already pulled it on her mom
and Sandy and the surprised look was great.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
Please visit our Sponsor
An elderly Muslim lady was well-known for her faith and for her
confidence in talking about it. She would stand in front of her house
and say "Allah be praised" to all those who passed by.
Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her
proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times came upon the elderly lady, and she prayed for Allah to
send her some assistance.
She would pray out loud in her night prayer "Oh Allah! I need food!!
I am having a hard time, please Lord, PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME
One night the atheist happened to hear her as she was praying, and
decided to play a prank on her.
The next morning the lady went out on her porch and found a large bag
of groceries. She raised her hands and shouted, "Allah be praised!."
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you
there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't."
The old lady laughed and clapped her hands and said, "ALLAH BE
PRAISED. He not only sent me groceries, but he made the devil pay for
A large company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a new CEO.
This new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a
tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning on a wall. The
room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant
The new CEO walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and asked,
"How much money do you make a week?"
A little surprised, the young fellow looked at him and replied, "I make
$300.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO then handed the guy $1,200 in cash and screamed, "Here's four
weeks' pay, now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and
asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"
From across the room came a voice, "Delivery guy from Pizza Hut."
A New York judge is ready to go through the day's business and he is
very rushed. The first case up involves an elderly Jewish gentleman with
a long beard, payes, the works.
The judge, without asking a question, says to the clerk: "Quick...get me
Translator shows up and the judge says: "Ask him what his name is, how
old is he and where does he come from?"
The translator says: "Die judge vilt vissen, vos is dein namen, vie alt
bist du, and fun vie kumst du?"
The old man smiles, looks at the judge and says in perfect English with
a British accent: "Your Honour. My name is Sir Chaim Ginsbug. I shall be
82 next Thursday and I've come from England where I hold the chair of
Hebrew Philosophy at Oxford University."
The translator turns to the judge and says: "Ehr zukt, ehr is Sir Chaim
Ginsburg, ehr is tzwei und achtzig yur alt, und ehr is, mit sach Yiddish
philisoph, areingekummen fun Oxford."
Once upon a time, a Sultan was blessed with the birth of a son after
years of hoping. The boy immediately became the apple of his father's
Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan said to him, "Son, I
love you very much. Your birthday is coming soon. What would you like?"
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to have my own airplane."
His father bought him American Airlines.
Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are
my pride and joy. Ask what you want for your birthday. Whatever it is,
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat."
His father bought him the Princess Cruise Line.
Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you bring
so much happiness into my li! fe. Anything you want, I shall get for
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like to be able to watch cartoons."
His father bought him Disney Studios.
Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are my
life. Your birthday is coming soon. Ask what you wish, I will get it for
His son, who had grown to love Disney, replied, "Daddy, I would like a
Mickey Mouse outfit and a Goofy outfit."
His father bought him the Democratic Party and CBS news.
A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle.
Picking it up, he pulls out the cork. Sure enough, out pops a huge blue
genie. The genie says, "Thank you for freeing me from my prison. In
return I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "Perfect.... I always dreamed of this and I know
exactly what I want. First, I want 1 billion dollars in a Swiss bank
account." Suddenly, there is a flash of light and a detailed list with
Swiss Bank account numbers appears in his hand.
He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."
There is another flash of light and a bright red Ferrari appears right
next to him.
He continues, "Finally, I want to be irrestible to women." A
final blaze of light and he turns into a box of chocolates!
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER...
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
6. Musical recliners.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
The paper machine's speed controlled drive system
was down and the company was losing $10,000 an
hour in profits. They placed an emergency call to the
General Electric repair service and, since it was 3:00
am on Saturday night, the only repair man they had
available was old Charlie.
Old Charlie had been a repairman for 35 years and
was only two years from retirement. He had seen it all
and wasn't impressed by much.
As old Charlie pulled up to the guard shack at the plant entrance, he
was waved through and greeted by no one less than the plant manager.
"Thank goodness you're here. How long will it take you to fix it?"
Now Charlie had had nothing more than the sketchiest description of the
problem but he replied without hesitation,
"Oh, about fifteen minutes."
"Great!" replied the plant manager, "My men will show
you where the drive controls are and get you anything
After three hours of testing, reading prints, asking
questions, the drive system was still not working.
The plant manager became increasingly enraged
and accosted old Charlie,
"I thought you said you could fix this thing in FIFTEEN MINUTES!"
"I can and I will, " he replied,
"As soon as I figure out what's wrong with it!"
Yesterday Nancy's son, Frankie, came home and said, "I have good news
and bad news. The good news is - I got 18 out of 20 on my driver's
Nancy said, "Great! Now what's the bad news?"
Frankie said, "They were pedestrians. "
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We
can't decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner-
In order to pay his nursing school tuition, a student was working two
jobs over the summer, as a butcher's assistant and as a hospital
orderly, both jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat.
One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up
suddenly, looked him in the eye, and screamed, "God same me! It's the
Goldilocks was walking along one sunny day when she found a beautiful
house in the woods. The door was open, so she walked right in. There she
found a table set with 3 bowls of steaming porridge.
"Hello?" she called out, but no one was home.
She sits down and tries the first bowl, but it was too hot. She tried
the second bowl, but it was too cold. Then she tried the third bowl, and
it was just right.
"Wow," she said, once she finished the meal. "Now I'm feeling very
So she wandered around the house. She finds a staircase, climbs the
stairs, and goes into the first room. There was a big bed in the room,
so Goldilocks jumped in.
"Yikes!" she exclaimed, "this one's too hard!"
She wandered into the next room where she found another bed. She hops
right in. But it was too soft. By this time, Goldilocks was really
tired. She then goes into a third room and yells out in surprise at
seeing three pink pigs cowering in the corner of the room.
"Wait a minute," she said. "You guys are in the wrong fairy tale."
"No, we're not," answered one of the pigs....
"Don't you know this is a two-story house?"
Via Stan Kegel
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
(again sharing stories)
Sandi: Today is Susan's birthday. I think she and I should slug it
Katie: No, no, no. The day is beautiful, she would want to see the
trees and such and dance with me in the forest.
Rudy: I have my top hat on and tux. I am the only guy here I think she
would like to escorted to a nice place.
Sandi: Where would you take her Rudy:
Rudy: So in dog years are you more than 350 years old?
Rudy: I have reservations for two at the Zoo.
Katie: The Zoo? That is no place to take a lady.
Rudy: Hrumpt! We will see. Let's go to her work and see.
Later at AFA
Security: You cannot come in here!
Rudy: Look buster, you move or I will break every bone in your body
and bury you in the yard outside.
Security: Go ahead and pass.
A couple of minutes later.....
Katie: There she is, let's surprise her.
Rudy: By throwing a bag over her and taking her with us.
Later in their dog van.
Susan: Help! I am being kidnaped!
Sandi: No, you are not, you are being dognaped.
Katie: Happy birthday to you Susan.
Rudy: Here have a dog biscuit cake. We make it special just for you.
Sandi blushing: Yes, it is my own recipe. I made you this dog collar
Susan: That is sweet guys, but I should be at work.
Katie: Why? It is a pretty day. You should be running in the forest.
Sandi: Or sleeping.
Rudy: Or digging.
Susan: I am a biped and I have a job to do.
Rudy: You bipeds sure are a strange lot. Well here you are back at
work. Don't forget your dog biscuit cake, your dog collar.
Susan: Thanks guys. I will never forget this.
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783