Clean Chips For 9-1-11
- Clean Clean
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
dudes and Ms. Nutt was the first telephone operator.
1 Emma M. Nutt Day
2 National Beheading Day
3 Skyscraper Day
4 Newspaper Carrier Day
5 Cheese Pizza Day
6 Fight Procrastination Day
6 Read a Book Day
7 Neither Rain nor Snow Day
8 Pardon Day
9 Teddy Bear Day
10 Sewing Machine Day
10 Swap Ideas Day
11 Make Your Bed Day
11 No News is Good News Day
12 Chocolate Milk Shake Day
13 Defy Superstition Day
13 Fortune Cookie Day
13 National Peanut Day
14 National Cream-Filled Donut Day
15 Make a Hat Day
15 Felt Hat Day
16 Collect Rocks Day
16 Step Family Day
16 National Play Doh Day
17 National Apple Dumpling Day
18 National Cheeseburger Day
19 International Talk Like A Pirate Day
19 National Butterscotch Pudding Day
19 POW/MIA Recognition Day
20 National Punch Day
21 Miniature Golf Day
21 World Gratitude Day
22 Business Women's Day
22 Elephant Appreciation Day
23 Checkers Day
23 Dog in Politics Day
24 National Cherries Jubilee Day
25 National Comic Book Day
26 Johnny Appleseed Day
27 Crush a Can Day
27 International Rabbit Day
28 Ask a Stupid Question Day
29 Confucius Day
30 National Mud Pack Day
Enjoy the Chips .. buffalo
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A 10pm curfew was imposed in Blondeville.
Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being
put in jail. However one citizen was arrested at
"Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his
"I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't
have made it."
Two Blondes had this mule that was a very hard
worker. The only problem was every time they went
to put the mule back in his stall, his ears would
brush the top of the entrance and then the old
mule would go nuts and kick everything.
One day, the Blondes decided to cut a opening in
the top of the stall, to prevent this from happening.
While they were working, a neighbor stopped by
and asked what they were doing, so they explained
The neighbor suggested that they could save a lot
of work and time if they simply took a shovel and
dug the entrance down a little bit.
The Blondes thanked their neighbor and he drove off.
Then the one Blonde said to the other, "Some stupid
neighbor we have! It's not his feet that's too long. It's
Can You hear Me
Can you Say HEMI!
I used to laugh at the joke about my back going out more than I do
Until I turned the ripe young age of sixty-two
Now every morning when I get out of bed
I hear snap, crackle, pop in my head
No, it's not the thought of breakfast cereal you see
The cracking and popping are my right and then left knee
I ask myself, "Will they work today? What is the chance?"
"Will they get me to the bathroom before I wet my pants?"
Yes, the senior life is lots of fun
As your body parts break down one by one
We used to only worry about germs
Now we have to learn all those new terms
Cholesterol levels are very confusing
LDL is bad HDL is good it's almost amusing
Keeping track of your blood pressure becomes a daily routine
Is it high or low or somewhere in between
The other day someone told me my hearing was bad too
My eyes aren't what they used to be so I couldn't tell you who
Your medicine cabinet has over flowed to the drawer under the sink
I can't remember which pills I've taken but, I know one of them was
supposed to help me think
Things that go up are now coming down
Even when I smile it looks like a frown
I figure the next 20 years should be great
After all, I have nothing left to break
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20 Worst Things To Hear At A Nuclear Power Plant
Fission shmission, relax, I'll increase the water level after my
Was that "Open valve A and close valve B" or was it the other way
This whole plant will be running under Windows tomorrow.
HEY! Is smoke coming out of the core normal?
Who forgot to pay the water bill?
We got 12 seconds to WHAT????
Meet your new plan superintendent: Bozo the clown.
A leak? Can't you fix it with duct tape or something?
Oh yeah! 50 bucks says I can make it blow.
It's Russian technology.
Move over Three Mile Island - here we come!!!
Sniff, sniff.... you smell that?
I used to work at Chernobyl.
All the way to the RIGHT, not LEFT you dummy!
It's your turn to wax the core.
How come all the big shots are leaving?
Is that a 60 minute film crew out there?
Is this part really necessary?
OF COURSE I went to high school. Didn't finish it, though.
Look at the good news: we are going to find out whether people
actually glow in the dark.
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The word Shnorrer in Yiddish means - A beggar who makes pretensions
to respectability; sponger, basically a parasite. Bearing this
definition in mind, I found some Shnorrer jokes The shnorrer comes
to Goldstein for his monthly handout.
He knocks on the door, but there is no reply. He knocks again, and
a disheveled-looking Goldstein answers the door.
"What's the matter," asks the shnorrer. "Is something wrong?"
"I've gone bankrupt," says Goldstein, "haven't you heard?"
"Certainly I've heard," says the shnorrer.
"Then what do you want from me?" asks Goldstein.
The shnorrer says, "Ten cents on the dollar."
= = = = = =
Mrs. Berger, feeling sorry for a shnorrer who appeared at her door,
invited him in and gave him a substantial meal: chicken, kugel,
wine, and two kinds of bread ... black bread and challah.
The shnorrer devoured everything he was given, except the black
bread. "The challah was wonderful," he said. "Do you have any
"My dear man," said Mrs. Berger, "we have plenty of black bread,
but challah is very expensive."
"I know," said the shnorrer. "But believe me, lady, it's worth it."
= = = = = =
A merchant who is known to be remiss in paying his bills is seen
haggling with a wholesaler.
"Why bother," he is asked. "You won't pay the guy anyway, so why
all the bargaining?"
"I like him," said the shnorrer merchant, "and I want to help keep
down his losses."
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A lady golfer visits a driving range to tone up before a game. She
is about to drive her first ball off the mat when she notices the
man next to her.
"Pardon me, sir" she said. "You are aiming in the wrong direction -
back towards the golf shop."
"Oy! - tanks for dat. Vitout you, I vouldn't know. I'm half blind."
He then turned around and started hitting out into the range. After
a few minutes, he asked the lady how he was doing.
"Not bad." she answered. "Most of your shots are straight and fairly
long. Only a few of them are slicing."
"Tanks, again, Miss." he replied. "Vitout you telling, I vouldn't
know dese tings."
A few shots later, he inquired again. "Do you mind I should ask a
"Not at all," she replied.
"I don't do vell vit the ladies. Am I ugly or fett or vat ?"
"You're quite presentable," she replied. "I don't think that
is your problem.
Smiling now, he exulted, "Vat a relief. I vas always afraid to ask.
Again, I got to tank you."
He was about to hit another ball when the girl interrupted him. "Do
you mind if I give you a bit of advice?" she asked.
"Vit gladness, dank gott. All the help you got I vill take." he
"Get rid of your Jewish accent" she replied. "
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Melva/Goodbye To Summer
John w/ Little Bitty
Stretching For The Lord
Look Who's Talking 3
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Invisible Husband Shows Up In Photo!
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Magician Act Followed By Explanation
Marine And Geese
Mary Did You Know
Why do geese make lousy drivers?
They're always honking
Why do they put telephone wires so high?
To keep up the conversation
What animal is best at hitting in baseball?
Why do leopards have a hard time hiding?
Because they are always spotted
What did the beaver say to the tree?
Nice knawing you
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Two sisters wanted to get a new mattress for their mother's antique
bed, as a gift. The problem was they weren't sure what to get,
because the bed was an odd size. Fortunately, the blonde sister
happened to be visiting their mother one day when her sister called
"Measure the bed frame before you leave," sister two told her blonde
"I don't have a tape measure." replied the blonde.
"You can use a dollar bill," suggested her sister. "Each one is six
"I can't," the blonde sibling replied, after digging through her
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Martha and Stumpy, a young married couple, were sitting on a porch
Martha asked, "Stumpy, do you think my eyes are beautiful?"
He answered, "Uh-huh."
In a few moments, she asked: "Stumpy, do you think my hair is
Again he answered, "Uh-huh." A few minutes later, Martha asked,
"Stumpy, would you say that I have a nice figure?"
Once again he answered, "Uh-huh."
'Oh, Stumpy," she said, "You say the nicest things."
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Sandi, Rudy and Dad
BJ: I have to ask Sandi, why me, and why not
stay in Caldwell with Rudy?
Sandi thinks a bit before answering: I did stay in
Caldwell for a while remember. I stayed with Rudy
and mom and Val. It was just you and Katie for several
BJ: Yes, I remember.
Sandi: How did you feel during that time?
BJ: I was lonely.. I missed my companion.
Sandi: It was difficult, maybe more so for me.
I had Rudy with me, but he became a primary parent for
Val and they became quite close. So I yearned for you.
Every Sunday when you left, you gave me a choice, remember?
BJ: Yes, you would go between my car and the house, back
and forth, but you chose the house.
Sandi: Then one Sunday, I chased you when you drove
BJ: But you did not get in the car...
Sandi: Yes, I almost got in the car..but went back to
the house. When you left, I felt my heart leaving.
The next Sunday, I went with you and my heart was full.
We are of one spirit and should not be separated.
BJ: Hug time.
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
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