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Clean Chips For 8-1-11

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  • William Brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. The start of another month, Let s look at who we
    Message 1 of 1 , Aug 1, 2011
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      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      The start of another month, Let's look at who we know that
      is having a birthday this month.

      1. Jerry Garcia, Herman Melville
      2. Jimmy Connors, Peter O'Toole, Patricia Barfield
      3. Martin Sheen, Martha Stewart
      4. Roger Clemens, Louis Armstrong, Ken Dryden, Jeff Gordon
      5. Neil Armstrong, Loni Anderson, Smurf In Calgary
      6. Lucille Ball, David Robinson, Andy Warhol
      7. David Duchovny, Mata Hari, Heidi B.
      8. Dustin Hoffman, Esther Williams, Dick Anderson
      9. Deion Sanders, Whitney Houston, Brett Hull, Mary Alice Marr
      10. Rosanna Arquette, Herbert Hoover, Jim Lynch
      11. Hulk Hogan, Mike Douglas
      12. Pete Sampras, Mark Knopfler
      13. Annie Oakley, Ben Hogan, Alfred Hitchcock
      14. Magic Johnson, Lynn Cheney, Halle Berry
      15. Napolean Bonaparte, Debra Messing,Alberta Sabitini
      16. Madonna, Kathie Lee Gifford, Frank Gifford
      17. Sean Penn, Jim Courier, Robert DeNiro
      18. Robert Redford, Christian Slater, Patrick Swayze
      19. Bill Clinton, Gene Roddenberry, Orville Wright
      20. Connie Chung, Robert Plant, Guy Lafleur
      21. Wilt Chamberlain, Kenny Rogers, John Wetteland
      22. Norman Schwarzkopf, Carl Yastrzemski
      23. Kobe Bryant, Gene Kelly, Barbara Eden
      24. Cal Ripken Jr., Reggie Miller, Marleen Eastin, Jo From Az.
      25. Regis Philbin, Sean Connery, Connie From Ky, Peggy Kemp
      26. Macaulay Culkin, Gerradine Ferraro
      27. Lyndon Johnson, Mother Teresa, Barbara Bach, Bonnie Prescott
      28. Scott Hamilton, Jason Priestley, Daniel Stern
      29. Michael Jackson, Elliot Gould
      30. Jean Claude Killy, Cameron Diaz
      31. Hideo Nomo, Richard Gere, Edward Moses

      buffalo says I was working on something and needed a hand so I told
      Eva to go get Grandma. Eva told me, " No, Grandma doesn't like you."
      Guess I better get one of those Medic Alert bracelets so if I ever fall
      and can't get up I can tell someone who cares heh heh.

      Enjoy the chips.... buffalo


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      Short Chips

      As my wife and I were sitting on the front porch, our oldest
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      Pig Chips

      There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and
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      Flying Chips

      *If Airlines Sold Paint*

      Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?

      Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.

      Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?

      Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different
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      Customer: What's the difference in the paint?

      Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.

      Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.

      Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?

      Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.

      Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.

      Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?

      Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks.
      But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that
      week and continue painting until at least Sunday.

      Customer: You've got to be kidding!

      Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.

      Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!

      Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sell
      only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by
      the way, the price per gallon just went to $16. We don't have any
      more $12 paint.

      Customer: The price went up as we were talking?

      Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds of times a
      day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with
      your paint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest you purchase
      your paint as soon as possible. How many gallons do you want?

      Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll have

      Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't use
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      already have.

      Customer: WHAT?

      Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall
      and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the
      bedroom, you will lose your remaining gallons of paint.

      Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint? I already
      paid you for it!

      Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used,
      every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of problems.

      Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens if I
      don't keep painting until after Saturday night!

      Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomes the
      $200 paint.

      Customer: But what are all these, "Paint on sale from $10 a liter"

      Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in
      half-gallons. One $5 half-gallon will do half a room. The second
      half-gallon to complete the room is $20. None of the cans have
      labels, some are empty and there are no refunds, even on the empty

      Customer: Forget this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!

      Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for your
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      Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!

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      Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference on
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      Customer: You're insane!

      Clerk: Thanks for painting with United.

      Stan Kegel


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      A college professor had the mysterious habit of removing a tennis
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      Short Chips

      The day I started my construction job, I was in the office filling
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      Glancing at the man next to me, who was also filling out his form, I
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      Instead he had written, 'Yes, in that order.'

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      Toon Chips


      He Wants To Join Up

      Health Plan Changes

      He's Mine



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      Short Chips

      Two rabbis, one Reformed and the other Orthodox, were discussing
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      congregation sit together, as they do in my temple?"

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      can't have them sleeping together"

      "Doctor, I think I'm losing my hearing."
      "What are the symptoms ?"
      "It's an FOX show about a little yellow family, but what has that
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      My name, Leone, is a feminine spelling of Leon, which often causes
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      Parting Chips

      "Woman's Poem"

      He didn't like the casserole
      And he didn't like my cake.
      He said my biscuits were too hard...
      Not like his mother used to make.

      I didn't perk the coffee right
      He didn't like the stew,
      I didn't mend his socks
      The way his mother used to do.

      I pondered for an answer,
      I was looking for a clue.
      Then I turned around and smacked him...
      Like his mother used to do.


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      Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady


      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


      Remember 9/11/01

      Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

      In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

      William Brabant
      711 Pine Street Apt.1
      Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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