Clean Chips For 6-1-11
- Clean Clean
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
June is one of those months where there isn't much happening
as far as established reasons to party except for Father's Day
and weddings. Here's the list to get you through the rest of the
1 Dare Day
2 National Bubba Day
3 Repeat Day
4 Applesauce Cake Day
4 Hug Your Cat Day
4 Old Maid's Day
5 World Environment Day
6 National Doughnut Day
6 National Gardening Exercise Day
6 National Yo-Yo Day
7 National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
8 Best Friends Day
8 Name Your Poison Day
9 Donald Duck Day
10 Iced Tea Day
11 Hug Holiday
12 Red Rose Day
13 Blame Someone Else Day
13 Sewing Machine Day
14 Flag Day
15 Smile Power Day
16 Fresh Veggies Day
17 Eat Your Vegetables Day
17 World Juggler's Day
18 Go Fishing Day
18 International Panic Day
18 National Splurge Day
19 World Sauntering Day
20 Ice Cream Soda Day
21 Summer Solstice
21 Go Skate Day
21 National Hollerin' Contest Day
22 National Chocolate Eclair Day
23 National Columnists Day
23 National Pink Day
23 Take Your Dog to Work Day
24 Swim a Lap Day
25 Log Cabin Day
25 National Catfish Day
26 Beautician's Day
26 Forgiveness Day
27 Paul Bunyan Day
27 Sun Glasses Day
28 Insurance Awareness Day
29 Camera Day
29 Waffle Iron Day
30 Meteor Day
I did enjoy the weekend greatly and yesterday we even made it to
85 degrees. It was a great summer and now we are back to a high of
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
A newsletter You May Enjoy
I am starting this Group to have some fun and meet new people.
You may post anything BUT Betty Boops (I am so tired of BOOPS LOL)
Post child friendly sites,recipes,poems etc..
as long as it is not Adult Material.
We may even play a game or two.
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A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a
faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the
Agent: Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts for many
of those commands. For example, suppose you want to trigger
the Select All command...
Caller: Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do it?
Agent: Well, you just press Control-A.
Caller (after a pause): Well, that's not working for me.
Agent: Do you have a text document open in front of you?
Caller: Yes, I sure do.
Agent: OK, now press Control-A.
Caller: I am, but nothing happens.
Agent: The text isn't highlighted?
Caller: No, there's no change at all.
Agent: That's odd. If you press Control-A the whole document
should be highlighted. Try it again. Press Control-A. Tell
me exactly what's happening.
Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): Listen. I'm
pressing Control, eh? And nothing's happening, eh?
A very wealthy entrepreneur named John retired to the countryside.
On one of his long walks, he passed a Mental Institution, and behind
the chain link fence, he saw the patients fighting ferociously with
Hailing a man standing close to the fence, John asked what was going
The man replied, "This happens every day; there's nothing else to
So John went to see the director and offered to install a swimming
pool at his expense.
The director was very happy with the offer and accepted immediately.
Ten days later, John received a phone call from the director,
requesting his presence the following day for the grand opening.
Pleased, John accepted. He than decided to take a stroll out to the
Institution to see how well the pool had been built.
As he approached the fence, he heard laughing and exited voices. A
few yards later, he had a full view of a beautiful pool, complete
with high tower diving boards, for which the patients were lining up
to do cannonballs and swan dives. Calling the same man at the
fence, John said, "You guys like this, huh? I see no more fighting,
isn't this fun?"
The man replied, "Sure is, Mister, but tomorrow it'll be even more
fun when they put the water in it."
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Angel's Food vs. Devil's Food...
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and
populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green
and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would
live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice
Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate
And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it,
add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the
figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour
from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And
Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Ranch
Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man
and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive
oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish
and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man
gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food
Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and
named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose
those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control
so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and
Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is
good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
BareLifts - The Invisible Solution To A Naturally Perky Look
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Three strings walk into a bar.
The first string heads up to order a beer.
The bartender points to a sign behind him that says "Strings not
served here" and asks "Are you a string?"
The first string answers "yes" to which the bartender replies "we
don't serve strings, get outta here."
The second string walks up and orders a vodka.
The bartender points to the sign behind him that says "Strings not
served here" and replies "we don't serve strings, get outta here."
The third string, being the smartest of the three ties himself in a
knot and frays his ends.
He walks up to the bar and orders a third random drink.
The bartender points to a sign behind him that says "Strings not
served here" and asks "Are you a string?"
The third string replies "I'm a frayed knot."
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Some baseball players are going to make more money this year than
Baseball players wish reporters would stop asking them about
salaries, drugs, and sex so the players can concentrate on the
things that matter to them: salaries, drugs, and sex.
Scientists claim that dogs will eat anything that's put in front of
them, just like baseball fans.
Baseball salaries are incredible. It costs more to buy a baseball
team than it costs to buy an election.
Every baseball season, the fans are afraid the players on their team
will be traded, and the fans of the (insert losing team here) are
afraid their players won't be.
More and more stadiums are bringing back natural grass. They have
to. All that tobacco juice is ruining the AstroTurf.
It's not that baseball is boring, but they could add a lot of
excitement to the game if they'd give everybody a bat and have a
goalie guarding home plate.
Spring training is very important. It gives all the Dominican
players time to learn how to say "renegotiate" in English.
There's something wrong with society when you can save up $2 million
and still not be able to buy a left-handed pitcher.
After football, basketball and hockey, finally, baseball - a
whistle-free game a man can sleep through.
Here's an idea. Why not combine the designated driver and the
designated hitter, so that after the 7th inning, the DH drives all
the drunk fans home?
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Price of Freedom
carolyn w/Soldier Boy ~ The Shirelles
John w/ Satellite TV Complaint
John w/ Shangri-La
Ghost Peppers - The World's Hottest Chili Pepper
Introducing the latest agricultural phenomenon - Ghost Chili Pepper.
Guinness Book of World Records named the Ghost Chili Pepper the hottest
pepper on earth. These peppers are 3x hotter than a jalapeno and are
hard to find in your local grocery. Now you can grow your own. Growing
this inferno of a chili is simple and fun. Spouts appear in just days
and they're fruity in smell, but are a great addition to soup, stew,
chili and salsa. Ghost Peppers are ideal for your garden to rid any
troublesome insects and animals. And best of all you can grow them
indoors and enjoy them anytime during the year.
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Watermelon and Nutrition
God's Bumper Stickers
Lighthouses Of The World
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
High Tech Toys
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
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All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
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First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Boy & Labrador
Bud Light Wheel
Why doesn't Sweden export cattle?
They want to keep their Stockholm
Would Little Miss Muffet share her curds?
What do you call a piece of wood driven into the ground to tether a
A Beef Stake (Cynthia MacGregor)
Did the people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?
No but the ice cracked up
Why did the priest giggle?
What do you call a frozen policeman?
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A fire alarm rang at 4 pm in a large office campus when almost all
employees were present ( approx 5,000 people ).
As per past fire-drill practices, the entire office was quickly
evacuated within 3 minutes, and all employees gathered outside the
complex in designated areas waiting for further announcement.
Before long, the fire drill officer in-charge made the following
broadcast over their loud-speakers system :
" My dear colleagues : With sincere regret, I have been asked to
announce that for many of you, this will be your last evacuation
drill with us. Due to the on-going recession and bad business
climate, the company is laying off almost 50% of its staff. So when
this announcement finishes, I ask all of you to move back into the
building. And if your swipe-card does not work, then it means that
you have been laid off, in which case you will not be allowed
inside, and all your personal belongings will be couriered to you by
The company is using this innovative, never-before approach as we do
not want to choke our email system with lay-off notices and farewell
messages going by the thousands, and we also wish to avoid any
fighting inside the office and the consequent security issues for
We hope you have had a rewarding career with us. Now please move
and good luck ! "
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A man just got dumped by his girlfriend.
He was telling several friends about how it happened and said, "When I
was talking to her on the phone, she told me something about meeting a
man in Germany. This man owns a sheep farm and is very, very rich."
Then one of the friends asked, "You mean she dumped you for a German
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Kalvinball Part Three
Val is trapped between thirteenth and fourteenth base
Val: I throw the flag of fellowship.
BJ: What does that mean?
Sandi: Val gets to make one call for help and if help
does not arrive in five minutes we continue to attack.
Val: Tami, come help me please.
Katie: Looks like you are out of luck Little Miss Val.
Just then Tami, dressed like Wonder Woman appears,
cape and all.
Tami: Ah-hah, un-hand her you evil-doers. What base
are you headed for?
Tami: Let's continue the quest!
BJ: Oh my!
To be continued
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
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