Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Clean Chips For 4-1-11

Expand Messages
  • Wiliam Brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Had to stop by the Social Security Administration
    Message 1 of 1 , Apr 1, 2011
      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      Had to stop by the Social Security Administration this morning
      which is always makes my day. They tie the Secretary of State
      for the fastest and most courteous service which is amazing for
      a federal government and such a change from the little hole in
      the wall office they used to have. You are greeted by a friendly
      armed guard and punch your reason for being there into
      a touch screen and it spits out a number and I went over and
      sat down. Also in the waiting area was a couple of kids, one about
      seven and the other about ten and they were arguing while their
      mom was in one of the offices. The younger was tapping her
      foot on the floor and the younger was complaining. It got so loud
      that the mom came out and told both of them to knock it off and
      went back in and it only took a second before they were at it again
      louder than ever. Being the buffalo and in an April Fool's Day mood
      I told them that if they weren't quiet that the guard was going to
      come over and Taser the both of them. The guard was laughing
      but it didn't quiet the kids down a bit. It would have worked
      when I was a kid heh heh.

      Enjoy the chips... buffalo


      Please visit our Sponsor

      Now you can grow your own cucumbers at home with The Cucumber Vine!

      Start picking arrow-straight cucumbers in just 50 days! This vigorous
      new variety of burpless (bitter free) cucumber actually prefers to
      climb, rather than sprawl across the ground. Its foot-long slicing
      cucumbers hang down straight as an arrow, so they avoid 'curling' and
      producing misshapen fruits like other cucumbers that grow across the

      Harvest cucumbers every day once the vine starts bearing. Plus, the
      bright green skin is so tender and non-bitter, it needs no peeling to
      eat fresh off the vine or fresh sliced into salads.

      Order 2 Cucumber Vine plants for only $9.95 plus $4.95 P&H and get a 3rd
      Cucumber Vine plant for FREE! *Just pay $2.95 P&H



      Tornado Chips

      Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden
      devastation, without warning, and with unusual
      patterns of destruction.

      In one case, a house was completely whisked away
      leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-
      haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a
      bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left
      above the floor.

      The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her
      unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking
      to herself. "It was the strangest thing... it was the
      strangest thing..." she kept repeating dazedly.

      "What was the strangest thing, Ma'am?" asked one
      of the rescuers.

      "I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and
      all I did was pull the plug... and the whole darned
      house suddenly drained away."



      Clown Car

      Clown Vultures


      CNN Asks Marine Sniper



      Latex Chips

      Today I went to the allergist, and he signed me up to get a blood
      test done, to see if I'm allergic to latex.

      I take the paperwork to the lab, hand it to the nurse behind the
      counter, who looks at the request, adds a Post It note that says "No
      latex gloves", and passes it back.

      I'm taken inside, asked to sit down, the bloodwork technician takes
      the sheet, puts on some latex gloves, notices the note, doffs the
      gloves, spends about 5 minutes looking for the nitrile (non latex)
      gloves, puts them on.

      Then she ties a latex tourniquet around my arm.

      "Umm... maybe you shouldn't do that," I say.

      "You have a latex allergy?"

      "Well, I'm getting a test for latex allergy."

      "You're not allergic, then?"

      "I don't know if I am."

      "So, why is there this note if you don't know whether you're
      allergic to latex?"



      Ghost Peppers - The World's Hottest Chili Pepper

      Introducing the latest agricultural phenomenon - Ghost Chili Pepper.
      Guinness Book of World Records named the Ghost Chili Pepper the hottest
      pepper on earth. These peppers are 3x hotter than a jalapeno and are
      hard to find in your local grocery. Now you can grow your own. Growing
      this inferno of a chili is simple and fun. Spouts appear in just days
      and they're fruity in smell, but are a great addition to soup, stew,
      chili and salsa. Ghost Peppers are ideal for your garden to rid any
      troublesome insects and animals. And best of all you can grow them
      indoors and enjoy them anytime during the year.

      Order today and we'll double your order.

      Learn More



      School Chips

      A kid called up his mum from his
      college and asked her for some money,
      because he ran out of it. Mum said,
      "Sure, sweetie. Mum will send you
      some money. You also left your calculus
      book here when you visited 2 weeks ago.
      Do you want me to send that up too?"

      "Uhh, oh yeah, o.k." Responded the kid.

      So Mum wrapped the book along with
      the checks up in a package, kissed Dad
      goodbye, and went to the post office to mail
      the money and the book.

      When she got back, Dad asked, "Well how
      much did you give the boy this time?

      Mum said, "Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for $20,
      and the other for $1000 out to him"

      "That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you crazy???"

      "Don't worry, hon," Mum said, kissed Dad
      on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20
      check to the cover of his book, but I put the
      $1000 one somewhere between the pages in
      chapter 19!"


      The Flowering Cherry Hedge Grow Your Own Fresh Cherries at Home

      With the amazing quick growing Flowering Cherry Hedge, you'll soon be
      collecting cherries by the bowlful that you can use to make delicious
      pies, impressive desserts and sweet jams. Or just pick them off the bush
      one at a time for a fresh, tasty snack.

      Order today and we'll double your order to 4 plants.

      Learn More


      Blonde Chips

      A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blonde escape a burning building by
      climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a
      blanket for them to jump in.
      The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only
      chance to survive!" The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank
      the blanket away. The Brunette slams into the sidewalk like a

      "C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to the Redhead.
      "Oh no! You re gonna pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.
      "No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with Redheads!" "OK,"
      says the Redhead, and she jumps.
      SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened
      on the pavement like a pancake.

      Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the
      firemen yell, "Jump! You have to jump!" "No way! You're just gonna
      pull the blanket away!"
      yelled the Blonde. "No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull
      the blanket away!" "Look," the Blonde says. "Nothing you say is
      gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So
      what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from


      Feeling Pinched by a Tightening Economy?

      A visit to eInsuranceMarket.com for quotes on auto insurance is a
      proactive step toward improving your finances. The insurance market is
      volatile and rates are constantly changing. If you haven't shopped
      around in awhile, you might be paying too much.

      eInsuranceMarket.com can connect you with quotes from up to four
      insurance agents that will work hard to save you money on auto
      insurance. Most people that use eInsuranceMarket are able to save up to
      $65 a month -- that's over $800 a year!

      Make the right move for your finances. Visit eInsuranceMarket.com today.



      Magazine Chips

      A marine called his wife one afternoon. "Honey, I'm afraid I'm going
      to be late coming home tonight," he said. "Oh, honey," the wife
      replied. "What's the delay?" The marine answered, "They found dirty
      magazines in the platoon's quarters and now they have to discipline
      the whole squad." "What?" she shrieked. "Dirty magazines? That's
      ridiculous! Soldiers always have pictures hanging in their lockers!
      It's customary! I'm going to call your superior!" "Wait, honey... "
      the man said, but she hung up. She called his superior. When the
      superior answered, she launched into a tirade. "My husband tells me
      you're disciplining his whole platoon because of dirty magazines!
      That's ludicrous! Pin-up pictures have always gone hand-in-hand with
      military men! In World War II, it was pictures of Betty Grabel! Then
      it was Betty Page... " "Wait a minute," the superior interrupted.
      "You have the wrong idea. When we said we found dirty magazines, it
      meant the clips from their rifles had not been cleaned!"


      Meet Brewbot
      The new hot beverage maker from Tassimo



      Now, make perfect hot beverages every time, one cup at a time

      Coffee, tea, hot cocoa, espresso, cappuccino, latte, crema coffee



      LynnLynn's Links

      If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
      e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@...

      Subscribers and Friends

      Melva/Jamey Johnson

      "Don't be afraid" by the Cathedral Quartet (what an uplift) Via Peggy

      John w/ Time Gets Better With Age


      Top Reasons To Smile!



      We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
      online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
      the world right on your PC!

      Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:



      Surfin Surfari

      WASP - Women Airforce Service Pilots Via Wesley

      What's In Bloom

      Wrong Number - with Carol Burnett & Tim Conway:

      Ethics Of War



      We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
      to lose weight no matter how hard you try.

      First off, please always know that it's not your fault...

      Press here to see why you're fat:


      After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
      finally lose the fat that you want to lose.

      Thank you!


      Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

      Old Version Downloads

      Website Midis

      Free Printables Via Wesley


      We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
      home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
      paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.

      We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
      and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to

      Press here if you are interested:


      All my best,

      Freelance Home Writers Network


      Animal World

      Doggie Zone

      Eagle Vs Swan!

      Bear Rescue


      Sub-Zero Giant Roses - Ever Blooming Roses, Month after Month, Summer to

      Sub-Zero Roses are specially bred by America's most famous
      horticulturist, Dr. Herbert Brownell, deep in the heart of New England's
      snow covered mountains. These ever blooming roses flourish under the
      harshest conditions imaginable - from the scorching heat to below
      freezing. Sub-Zero Roses are virtually immune to all rose problems such
      as black spot and leaf mold. Get big, beautiful roses month after month
      with Sub-Zero Roses.

      Order today and we'll double your order.

      Learn More



      Movie Links

      Why College Takes 5 Years


      Dirty Sneakers

      Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car

      Dog in Trance


      Navy Chips

      Jim was just out of Navy boot camp, and was on his first
      ship. About two hours out of port, he began to get a bit
      ill from the motion of the ship. He approached an ensign,
      also just out of training and on his first cruise. He
      saluted and said, "Excuse me sir, I am feeling seasick,
      and I wondered if I may have permission to go downstairs
      to the dispensary."

      The ensign returned his salute and replied, "Sailor, you
      are in the Navy now. You don't go downstairs, you go below!
      There is no dispensary on this ship, there is sickbay. Not
      only that, that is not the floor, it is a deck, that is not
      the ceiling, it is the overhead, that is not a pillar, it is
      a stanchion, that is not a water fountain, it is a scuttle-
      butt. If I ever hear you using civilian words instead of
      Naval jargon, I till throw you out of that little round
      window over there."


      Toon Chips



      Short Chips

      My wife and I, both a little hard of hearing, were watching golf on
      TV. I turned to my wife of some 50 years and said, "In my next life,
      I'm going to be rich and play all those beautiful golf courses with
      their great bars and dining and dancing areas."

      My wife quickly responded, "How will you be able to manage all that
      with your bad legs? You can barely walk!"

      "I said, '..in my next life...,'" I replied.

      "Oh," she said. I thought you said, '..with my next wife...'

      Taxiing down the tarmac, the DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around
      and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took
      off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the

      "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,"
      the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."



      Parting Chips

      This CFI and his Student are holding on the runway for
      departing cross traffic when suddenly a deer runs out of the nearby
      woods, stops in the middle of the runway, and just stands there
      looking at them.

      Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off.

      Std: "What should I do? What should I do?"

      Inst: "What do you think you should do?"


      Std: "Maybe if I taxi toward him it'll scare him away."

      Inst: "That's a good idea."

      (Taxi toward deer, but deer is macho, and holds position.)

      Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for take-off, runway NN.

      Std: "What should I do? What should I do?"

      Inst: "What do you think you should do?"


      Std: "Maybe I should tell the tower."

      Inst: "That's a good idea."

      Std: Cessna XXX, uh, there's a deer down here on the runway.

      (long pause)

      Tower: Roger XXX, hold your position. Deer on runawy NN cleared for
      immediate departure.

      (Two seconds, and then -- I presume by coincidence -- the deer
      bolts from the runway, and runs back into the woods.)

      Tower: Cessna XXX cleared for departure, runway NN. Caution wake
      turbulence, departing deer.

      It had to be tough keeping that Cessna rolling straight for



      Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady

      Katie's Komfort Kolumn
      Vol 2007

      The Dog Run, The Last Line of Defense

      BJ, having tried everything to keep Sandi in, is
      watching her behind a tree with a scope. So far
      all is working well.

      Sanid, having extreme eyesight and knowing
      dad is watching and also knowing she is finally
      trapped is resorting to her last tactic...

      BJ: What is she doing?

      Sandi: Howl......Howl...

      BJ: Such a moan..such a pitiful sound.
      She sounds like she is dying.

      BJ walks up to the dog run and looks at Sandi.

      Sandi's face is sad, her eyes red, her face droppy.
      She has that, 'I can barely go on' look.

      BJ opens the gate and Sandi wobbles out to dad and
      lays at his feet, he pets her.... she jumps up and runs
      around the yard full speed.

      BJ: It was an act!

      The herd


      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


      Remember 9/11/01

      Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

      In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

      William Brabant
      711 Pine Street Apt.1
      Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
    Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.