Clean Chips For 3-1-11
- Clean Clean
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
March is such a boring month and up till the time I received this it
looked like St. Patrick"s Day was the only day to go out and party.
Now you have 31 reasons to go out and make a fool of yourself, like
I need a reason.
Bizarre Holidays In March
March 1 is National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day
March 2 is Old Stuff Day
March 3 is I Want You To Be Happy Day, Peach Blossom Day and
National Anthem Day
March 4 is Holy Experiment Day
March 5 is Multiple Personalities Day
March 6 is National Frozen Food Day
March 7 is National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
March 8 is Be Nasty Day
March 9 is Panic Day
March 10 is Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day
March 11 is Johnny Appleseed Day and Worship of Tools Day
March 12 is Alfred Hitchcock Day
March 13 is Jewel Day
March 14 is National potato Chip Day
March 15 is Buzzard's Day and Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
March 16 is Everything You Do Is Right Day
March 17 is Submarine Day
March 18 is Supreme Sacrifice Day
March 19 is poultry Day
March 20 is Proposal Day and Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions
March 21 is Fragrance Day
March 22 is National Goof-off Day
March 23 is National Organize Your Home Office Day and National Chip
and Dip Day
March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
March 25 is Pecan Day and Waffle Day
March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and Spinach Festival Day
March 27 is National "Joe" Day
March 28 is Something On A Stick Day
March 29 is Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day
March 30 is I Am In Control Day
March 31 is Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
Friends Luvin' Each Other
We are a group of online friends who have come together to enjoy each
other's company. We offer nonjudgmental support, help and advice where
we can share laughter and tears, appreciate each other for who we are
and just take pleasure in our time together. We post freebies, poetry
stories, jokes, graphics and whatever else strikes our fancies and we
have some pretty interesting conversations too.
We come from all walks of life and several generations!
Please join us and let's be friends!
Please visit our Sponsor
One Second Needle The Needle With The Built-In Threader
You poke, cut, squint and swear but you still can't thread that needle.
Now there's One Second Needle - the needle with the built in threader.
Use it for sewing buttons, hemming pants, mending tears, and more. It's
so simple you can thread blindfolded.
Double your offer when you order today.
John and Nancy were married for 40 years and
decided they wanted to renew their vows and
planned a second wedding. They were discussing
the details with their friends.
Nancy wasn't going to wear a traditional bridal
gown and she started describing the dress she was
planning to wear. One of her friends asked what
color shoes she had to go with the dress. Nancy
At that point, her husband chimed in, "Yep silver...
to match her hair."
Shooting a glaring look at John's bald spot, Nancy's
friend said, "So John, I guess you are going barefoot."
Power Of The Press
30 Minute Delivery
A story is told about a king in an unknown land who had a close
friend that he grew up with. The friend had a habit of looking
at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or
negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting
expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the
king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing
one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the
king fired it and his thumb was blown off.
Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This
To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded
to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should
have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them
to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up
a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire
to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb.
Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than
whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way. As he returned
home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and
felt remorse for his treatment of his friend.
He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were
right" he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he
proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so
I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad
for me to do this."
"No," his friend replied, "this is good!"
"What do you mean, "this is good!" how could it be good that I
sent my friend to jail for a year."
"If I had not been in jail, I would have been with you."
Hoveround has been helping people regain their mobility for over 17
years and we want to help you get your independence back. We believe
that everyone should be free to get out and explore the world, even if
theyre on a tight budget.
Did you know that 9 out of 10 Hoveround owners got their power
wheelchair at little to no cost*? Its true! There are no claim forms
to fill out and no upfront costs if you qualify.
Get your Complimentary Information Kit here:
Upon receipt of your information we will send you a complimentary
no-obligation information kit with DVD. Once again, there are no costs
to qualify. Dont wait to regain your mobility and your freedom ACT NOW
because life in a Hoveround is BETTER ALL AROUND.
Thomas E. Kruse
President and Founder
If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts
and thinking things through, you'll love this!
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hired a
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a
wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know
that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you
make a week?"
A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make
$400.00 a week. Why?"
The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came
back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600.00 in cash and said,
"Here's four weeks pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back."
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room
"Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?"
From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from
Micro Touch Max The All-In-One Personal Trimmer
The Micro Touch Max is a compact trimmer with a built in light for easy
hair removal. Designed to trim as close as a blade, yet its safe to the
touch. The built in light makes it easy to always see what youre doing,
even in a dimly lit room, and makes it perfect for on the go.
Order now and you'll get the Micro Touch Max and as a bonus we'll also
include the 10 piece grooming kit so you always look your best.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
A sad man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks him what the
problem is. "My life is awful," the man says. "Every night, I play
Trivial Pursuit with my wife, and every night she beats me." "Well,
why don't you just stop playing Trivial Pursuit?" the bartender
asks. "I love the game," the man says. "I'm a genius. I never lose."
The bartender is confused. "I thought you just said your wife beats
you." "Yeah," the man says, "she's a sore loser."
A friend's daughter, Callie, had enrolled in a Spanish class taught
by a Hispanic teacher. "I'm not familiar with that name," he said.
"Does it start with a K?" She replied, "C." Ever since, he has
spelled her name "Kallie."
Kimberly-Clark, makers of the popular Scott brand of bathroom
tissue, today announced its new "HTTP//" brand of bathroom tissue
targeted directly to the "digerati" market. Scott Tissue is the
world's oldest and best-selling bathroom tissue, available in more
countries than any other brand of tissue. Introduced in 1913, Scott
Tissue is soft, strong and long lasting with 1,000-sheet rolls. The
new "HTTP://" (pronounced "H, T,T, P Colon Slash Slash") tissue will
be available in one kilosheet (1024 sheet) rolls instead of the
traditional 1000-sheet rolls. "If our test markets are any
indicator, the 1K rolls should be a big hit with not only the geeks
on the go, but also geeks who've got to go!" Each sheet of the
1K-sheet rolls of "HTTP://" Tissue will feature a different image
from a popular web page. The web page images are provided by a
number of sponsors, most notably Microsoft Corp., the lead sponsor
with over 256 sheets displaying different screen shots from the
company's various web sites. In a bold marketing move, Microsoft and
Kimberly-Clark agreed to co-market the "HTTP://" Tissue with the
slogan, "When Do You Want to Go Today?"
Indoor Banana Tree - Grow Your Own Delicious Bananas
Bananas are the perfect ingredient for cereal, pancakes, muffins and
bread. Five times the vitamin A, five times the iron, 3 times the
phosphorus and lots of potassium.
College professors describe a kiss
"A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte."
"A kiss is two divided by nothing."
"A kiss is a contraction of the mouth due to an expansion of the
"A kiss is the reaction resulting from the interaction between two
"A kiss must be considered an investment that is profitable when
"A kiss is one of those things for which the demand is always higher
than the supply."
"A kiss is persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth, and
homage for the old."
"A kiss is divine."
"A kiss is a clean, green, renewable energy resource that works best
when recycled often."
"A kiss is an oral stimulant taken by mouth that can often cure what
"A kiss is when the party of the first part and the party of the
second part have reached a mutually beneficial understanding that
two (2) pair of lips shall co-exist in, for all practical purposes,
the same space and time for a temporary period."
"A kiss is that which will cost your career if experienced with
anyone other than your spouse."
"I'm sorry. I'm not familiar with that word."
Amazing Pillow Helps Correct Your Sleep Posture
The SideSleeper Pro Pillow was developed by a chiropractor and
designed to give you the proper support while you sleep for a better
nights rest. With an improved sleep posture you will wake up with
less stiffness and feel more refreshed. The SideSleeper Pro comes
complete with a 30-day money back guarantee.
Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@...
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/New Music 5
Where Could I Go But To The Lord~Elvis Presley Via Samantha
STRETCHING FOR THE LORD
We wanted to inform you today that you can now download a program
online that will allow you to watch unlimited television from around
the world right on your PC!
Press Here to watch TV from around the world on your PC:
Baumaschinen Kalender via Wesley
Tollund Man Via Wesley
blow-up weapons Via Wesley
Limos In History
We would like to show you why you may be "fat" and why you're unable
to lose weight no matter how hard you try.
First off, please always know that it's not your fault...
Press here to see why you're fat:
After you see what the problem is, you will see how easy it is to
finally lose the fat that you want to lose.
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Google Fiber for Communities: Think big with a gig
Help For WEBTV Users - All You Need To Know!Via Samantha
We would like to know if you would be interested in working from
home in your spare time writing short articles for us. You will be
paid $25.00 - $45.00 per hour writing these articles.
We will also pay you $12.00 - $50.00 per hour for posing in blogs,
and up to $450 for each fiction or non fiction story we ask you to
Press here if you are interested:
All my best,
Freelance Home Writers Network
Amazing cucumber vine - Grow your own long, slender and crispy
Bright green skin so thin, tender & non-bitter. Eat them fresh off the
vine or fresh sliced into salads. Arrow straight cukes in
only 50 days.
Close a Bag without using a baggie tie
Dean Martin & John Wayne
Dean martin & George Gobel
A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had
lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted
to know how the caller located him.
The caller said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept
repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-3214. I can't come to the
phone right now, please leave a message at the tone."
The brillant barrister F. E. Smith once defended a bus driver
against claims that his negligence had caused injury to a young
man's arm: "Will you please show us how high you can lift your arm
now?" Smith asked the plaintiff.
The young man obediently raised his arm to shoulder level, his face
contorted with apparent pain.
"Thank you," said Smith. "And now, please, will you show us how
high you could lift it before the accident?"
The man's arm shot above his head.
A man went to the store with his 3 year-old daughter
in tow. Since he was just there to grab some essentials
like milk and bread, he opted to save some time by not
pushing a cart around the store.
"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed
"I know, dear, but Daddy's way is OK, too," he replied.
Leaving the store in the rain and without a cart, he
carried the bag of groceries, his daughter, and the milk
quickly to the car. Not wanting to set anything down on
the wet ground, he set the jug of milk on top of the car,
efficiently whisked open the car door with his now free
hand, scooted the groceries in and daughter into the car
seat in one swift motion, and hopped in himself.
"That's not the way Mommy does it," his daughter informed
"Honey, there's more than one way to do things," the
father replied patiently. "Daddy's way is OK, too."
As they pulled out and headed down the street, he became
aware of the scraping sound on the roof as the jug of
milk slid down the length of the rooftop, bounced off
the trunk of the car and splattered to the ground,
sending a froth of white milk in every direction.
In the millisecond he took to process his mistake, his
young daughter looked at him, and in a most serious
voice said, "That's NOT the way Mommy does it."
Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each
The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on
the earth planet have developed satellite-based
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first,
asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first spaceman says, "I don't think so... They have
them aimed at themselves."
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1988 Sandi, The Dog Run and BJ's Problem
I have a nice doggie run but Sandi keeps escaping. I think her
chubbiness would not allow her to go over so I think it must be under.
I walked around the fence and did not see where she could have gone
under it. We have concrete under the fence bottom. So last night
before dark, I put her in the dog run, closed the gate and called her.
She just sat there and grinned at me as if to say 'I have a secret.'
So I went into the dog run and asked her "Where do you get out?" She
trotted over to the far east and the north corner of the fence and bent
down and pawed at the fence and pointed with her snout. I said, "Okay,
Let's leave this dog run." I opened the gate and she left. I walked
over and sure enough there was enough space for her to crawl under the
fence. Where the fence is anchored to the house, the bottom of the
fence is loose. So I took a metal rod and temporarily fixed the bottom.
Tonight I will hammer the rod into the ground, renail the nail that
holds the fence to the side of the house and Sandi will again will a
resident of the dog run. But she is smart, she understood my question
and gave me an answer. Or perhaps she realized my problem.
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783