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Clean Chips For 1-2-10

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  • Wiliam Brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Here is the list of important birthdays for the
    Message 1 of 1 , Jan 2, 2011
      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      Here is the list of important birthdays for the month of January



      January
      1. Betsy Ross, Paul Revere, Jim Webster
      2. Roger Miller, David Cone, Melissa Hall
      3. Cheryl Miller, Bobby Hull, Mel Gibson, Lane Pope
      4. Don Shula, Tom Thumb
      5. Dick Endberg, Diane Keaton, Chuck Berry
      6. Nancy Lopez, Sherlock Holmes
      7. Katie Couric, Nicholas Cage, Kenny Loggins
      8. David Bowie, Elvis Presley, Soupy Sales
      9. Richard Nixon, Bart Starr, Crystal Gayle
      10. George Foreman, Rod Stewart, Eddie Treadway
      11. Ben Crenshaw, Alexander Hamilton, Tom Netherton
      12. Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, Kristie Alley, Dean Beechy
      13. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Robert Stack, Yellow Rose, Lou Taylor
      14. Benedict Arnold, Andy Rooney
      15. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Jane Ervolino
      16. A.J. Foyt, Ethel Merman
      17. Muhammad Ali, Jim Carey, Benjamin Franklin
      18. Mark Messier, Kevin Costner, A. A. Milne
      19. Robert E. Lee, Janis Joplin, Edgar Allen Poe, Dave / Murphy
      20. Buzz Aldrin, DeForest Kelly, Mitzi From Monti
      21. Hakeem Olajuwon, Placido Domingo, Pat Stewart
      22. Linda Blair, Joseph Wambaugh, Mike Bossy
      23. Humphrey Bogart, John Hancock, Chuck Cottom, Rose Savage
      24. Mary Lou Retton, John Belushi, Neil Diamond, Samantha in
      Oregon
      25. Virginia Wolf, Robert Burns
      26. Wayne Gretzky, Eddie Van Halen, Gene Siskel
      27. Wolfgang Mozart, Mikhail Baryshnikov, Lewis Carroll
      28. Alan Alda, Jackson Pollack, Elijah Wood
      29. Oprah Winfrey, William McKinley, Tom Selleck
      30. Franklin Roosevelt, Phil Collins, Dick Cheney
      31. Nolan Ryan, Jackie Robinson, Justin Timberlake, Ernie Banks


      I want to thank everyone that contributed to the Chips this year.
      The stories, jokes, cartoons, and links that you share with the herd
      makes this group unique. Just when I think that I have heard every
      joke in
      the world someone sends me something I have never seen before.

      Enjoy the chips.... buffalo



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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Liver Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      An old Jewish man was dying in the hospital. his family - wife,
      children, grandchildren - came to see him, but only one was allowed
      in the room at a time.

      Grandson Ben went in first. "Hello, Grampa Moishe. Can I do
      something for you?"

      "Yes," said Grampa Moishe. Go tell Gramma Sadie I want some of her
      delicious chopped liver that she made yesterday."

      Ben went out and told Gramma Sadie, who said, "Go tell Grampa Moishe
      he can't have any chopped liver. It would kill him."

      Ben went back in and reported what she'd said.

      "You tell Gramma Sadie I want the chopped liver. I'm dying anyway
      and it won't make any difference."

      Ben went and told Gramma Sadie, who said, "Go tell Grampa Moishe he
      can't have any. The chopped liver is for the Shivah."


      Shivah; The seven days of mourning after the funeral. The family
      stays in the house the entire week and prayer services are held in
      the home each morning and evening.




      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Survival Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      DAILY SURVIVAL KIT

      This New Year, I am giving you a DAILY SURVIVAL KIT, to help thru
      2011:

      Toothpick ... to remind you to pick the good qualities in everyone,
      including yourself.

      Rubber band ... to remind you to be flexible. Things might not
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      Band-Aid ... to remind you to heal hurt feelings, either yours or
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      Eraser ... to remind you everyone makes mistakes. That's okay, we
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      Candy Kiss ... to remind you everyone needs a hug or a compliment
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      Mint ... to remind you that you are worth a mint to your family.

      Bubble Gum ... to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish
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      Pencil ... to remind you to list your blessings every day.

      Tea Bag ... to remind you to take time to relax daily and go over
      that list of God's blessings.

      This is what makes life worth living every minute, every day

      Wishing you 365 days of love, gratitude, friends to cherish, caring,
      sharing, laughter, music, warm feelings in your heart and soaring
      with the eagles.




      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Nun Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day when she was
      handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $10 bill dropped out.
      She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her home folks, but
      as she read the letter her attention was distracted by the actions
      of a shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning against a post in
      front of the convent.

      She couldn't get him off her mind and thinking that he might be in
      financial difficulties. She took the $10 bill and wrapped it in a
      piece of paper, on which she had written, "Don't despair, Sister
      Eulalia." She threw it out of the window to him.

      He picked it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression,
      tipped his hat and went off down the street.

      The next day she was in her room saying her prayers when she was
      told that a man was at the door who insisted on seeing her.

      She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger waiting for
      her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll of bills.

      When she asked what the bills were for he replied, "That's the sixty
      bucks you have coming. Don't Despair paid 5-1."




      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Wall Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Back before the Berlin Wall came down, there was an 'Ossie' (East
      German citizen) walking along near the wall. An undercover KGB agent
      saw him and decided to try and trick him into making a statement of
      disloyalty.

      "Comrade," called out the agent. "Eeef suddenly appeared BIG HOLE in
      Vall there, Vat vould yuuu do?"

      The KGB agent was expecting the citizen would say he would make a
      run for it through the big hole, at which point he could be arrested
      for disloyalty. But to the agent's surprise, the citizen replied,
      "Eeef suddenly appeared BIG Hole in the Vall ... vould find biggest
      tree, and climb up to top."

      The agent hollered back, "Vhy would klimb up to top of biggest tree,

      Comrade?"

      "So vould not be killed, by stampede."



      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Men Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Out Of The Mouths Of Men

      "I'M GOING FISHING"
      Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a
      stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete
      safety."

      "IT'S A GUY THING"
      Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and
      you have no chance at all of making it logical."

      "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
      Means: "Why isn't dinner already on the table?"

      "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
      Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

      "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
      Means: "I have no idea how it works."

      "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
      Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a
      bra."

      "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD."
      Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

      "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
      Means: "Are you still talking?"

      "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
      Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the
      first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of
      every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

      "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
      Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

      "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Means: "I
      have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit
      that I am hurt."

      "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
      Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty good reasons soon."

      "I CAN'T FIND IT."
      Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
      clueless."

      "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
      Means: "What did you catch me at?"

      "I HEARD YOU."
      Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am
      hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't
      spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

      "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
      Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be
      worse."

      "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
      Means: ""Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

      "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
      Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."




      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      LynnLynn's Links
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
      e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@...

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      Subscribers and Friends

      A KAIROS Moment
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      HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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      Meanings of the Names of the Days
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      Free Database Of Student Essays, Papers & Reports
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      Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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      Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

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      Fast Track - Gotta get one ! Via Wesley
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      *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+


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      Movie Links



      What A Wonderful World
      http://www.buffaloschips.com/71604.htm

      What Old People Do For Fun
      http://www.buffaloschips.com/71605.htm

      What The West Would Have Been Like With Shetland Ponies
      http://www.buffaloschips.com/71606.htm

      When The Parents Are Gone
      http://www.buffaloschips.com/71607.htm

      Whit Arlington
      http://www.buffaloschips.com/71608.htm



      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Short Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      I just got off the phone with a friend in Minnesota ..
      He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly
      waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below
      zero and the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing
      but look through the kitchen window all day. He says that if it
      gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

      Patricia

      Ten Good Things About The Flu

      10. No one wants to come near you.
      9. You can legally take sedatives.
      8. You realize guests on daytime talk
      shows have worse lives than you do.
      7. You get away with being rude, obnoxious and surly.
      6. You can smell like a baboon's butt and nobody complains.
      5. You can shl
      0okc
      ep about the house unwashed
      and in your housecoat all day.
      4. No matter how bad you feel, it's still better than
      how you felt after last month's tequila 'n' gin party.
      3. Star Trek re-runs.
      2. Your dog is allowed on the bed.
      1. You get to pass the virus on to those you really dislike.



      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Toon Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Image Change
      http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsfjsdfjh.htm

      In Case Of Earthquake
      http://www.buffaloschips.com/iouiouo.htm

      Incompatible
      http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkjkl.htm

      Indian Names
      http://www.buffaloschips.com/Indian%20Games.htm




      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      BedBug Out - Don't Let the Bedbugs BiteReduce Bedbugs and other
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      in as soon as 2 weeks. Rid your home of pests, dust mites and
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      quick and without harmful chemicals.

      View Web Version

      http://buffaloschips.com/bedbu

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Riddle Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



      What was the electrician's favorite subject while in night school?
      Current Events.


      What do you call a man who knocks knights off horses?
      Lance


      What's better than a talking dog?
      A spelling bee


      Why was Cinderella such a poor football player?
      She had a pumpkin for a coach


      Did you hear about the cows that were shipped by raft down the
      Mississippi River?
      It was the first cattle-log business. (James Ertner)


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Fushigi - Magic Gravity Ball

      Mesmerize the mind and confuse the senses. Fushigi is an incredible,
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      sphere through mind and body isolation and manipulation creates the
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      Everyone loves the art of Fushigi.

      Learn More

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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Parting Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that
      it was time to get ready.
      At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing
      next to the one person who made his life worth living.
      Well, it was kind of embarrassing.
      As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.




      Randy

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1955

      Christmas 2010 - The Doggie Wars

      Sandi has been the Alpha dog of the four dog pack for years.
      December 24th BJ decides to sit on Diana's bed.

      Rudy is thinking: This is Diana's room, Diana's bed. This is my Dad.
      I want to be close to him.

      Sandi is thinking: What is Rudy doing getting close to my Daddy. I
      will show him.

      A push.

      A shove.

      Boom!

      Snarl!

      Growl!

      Both dogs rear up on their hind legs and attack each other no hold
      barred.

      Teeth flashing! Anger to the max! This is all out hate!

      BJ: Stop it! He is ignored. He cannot get between 160 pounds of fury
      for fear they will rip him to shreds. He continues to implore them
      to stop!

      Soon they back off and quit.

      BJ: What have you done? You are mates? You are best friends?

      Sandi: We are done.

      To be continued



      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean

      *********************************************

      Remember 9/11/01



      Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

      In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

      William Brabant
      711 Pine Street Apt.1
      Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783



      --------------------------------------------------------------------------------



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