Clean Chips For 11-1-10
- Clean Clean
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Normally I would send out the November Bizarre Holidays list
but it can wait for another day while I tell you about my Halloween.
I had a good morning and was watching the Lions beat the Redskins
when Buffy wanted to go pick up trick or treat candy. I went out to
fire up the Jimmy and it had a flat tire, one of the ones that only has
a 1000 miles on it to boot. The Suburban had a full size spare and
jack and since my leg is feeling a little better I broke everything
out before I got Buffy to help change it. I immediately found out that
when they put those custom wheels on with an impact wrench, they
make sure they are not going to come off not even with the large four-
way wrench I had. I called my nephew and eve with me holding the
wrench and him standing on it we could only beak two nuts loose.
I needed a 3/4 in. breaker bar with a cheater to even think about it
so we went to plan B and got a can of fix-a-flat in it and Frankie
drove it to the nearest gas station to air it up. Hopefully I can keep
it inflated till I get to UP Tire to have it repaired. I hefted the spare
tire back into the back of the Suburban and someday I will get it
stowed away properly and the jack back into it's compartment.
Trick or Treating was great, and Eva loved every second. I took
them first up to Coast Guard Housing which was packed with cars
and kids. It was like an old time Halloween in that everyone was
participating and many of the hosts were in costume. The harvest
was much better in the area of Washington Elementary, Buffy's old
school and Eva filled her pumpkin and then some. Then we drove
up to Wal-mart and Sav-A-Lot to pick up a few things and Eva got
candy from both of those places.
It wasn't the same as 40 years ago with apples and baked goods
but it still felt good. It was perfect fall weather, people were smiling,
and I'm sure that we put all of the evil back into its place for another
Enjoy the chips...... buffalo
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A man went into a bar and ordered several shots of vodka. By the time the
bar was closing, he was wasted. He got up to leave and fell flat on his
face. "Well, I don't want the bartender to think I'm drunk, so I'll pretend
I tripped and I'll try it again." So he gets up and falls on his face.
"Well, the door's not too far away; I'll just crawl."
When he gets outside he thinks, "Well, I only live 4 blocks away; I can make
it that far."
So he stands up and falls on his face. He decides he'll try it 1 block at a
time, and at every block he falls flat on his face.
Finally he makes it home, stands up and falls on the bed. In the morning
his wife wakes him up.
"You were drunk again last night, weren't you?"
"How did you know?"
"The bartender called. He said you left your wheelchair at the bar."
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I'm a bad drinker. I got loaded one night ; they picked me up. I was in
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With ice covering his vessel's exterior, the old captain was experiencing a
There is a sign on the lawn at the local drug rehab center that says, "Keep
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The gas turned up her nose at the crude oil when he asked her for a date.
"After all," she said, "I'm refined."
"How did the wedding go?" asked the preacher's wife. "Just fine until I
asked the bride if she would obey and she said, 'Do you think I'm nuts?' and
the groom said, 'I do,' and then things really began to happen fast."
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What is Dracula's favorite fruit?
Neck Tarine (Gary Hallock)
What does a ghost eat for breakfast??
Scream of wheat and Ghost-Toasties
Is it okay to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
No, the fingers should be eaten separately.
Why did the farmer plant seeds in a pond?
He wanted to grow water-melons!
Where did the astronaut put his turkey sandwich?
In his launch box.
What did the magnet say to the other magnet?
"I'm attracted to you!"
What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
The jeweler sells watches and the jailer watches cells!
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
Because she couldn't control her pupils!
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
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After much urging by his wife, my Uncle Joe applied for work on a farm. The
foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, equipping him
with a stool and a bucket.
An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket in one hand
and the broken stool in the other.
"Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part was getting
the cow to sit on the stool!"
A backslider suddenly began attending church faithfully on Sunday mornings
instead of going fishing. The pastor was highly gratified and told him,
"How wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services with your good wife!"
"Well, Preacher," said the fisherman, "it's a matter of choice. I'd rather
hear your sermon than hers."
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.
Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man
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Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most
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At long last the good-humored boss was
compelled to call Fisk into his office.
"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed
out, "that every time there's a home game at the
stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor."
"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk.
"I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's
faking it, do you?"
"Son, I just know you'll do the right thing by this little girl,"
said the preacher. "You just marry her, and you'll be at the end of
So he did the right thing, and he married the girl, and
about six months later when he saw the preacher again
he tried to murder him.
"You miserable liar!" shouted the young man. "You told me
if I married her, I would be at the end of my troubles.
Well, I married her, and she has made my life miserable."
"That may be true, son, but you can't blame me," replied
the minister. "I said you'd be at the end of your troubles,
but I never said which end."
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The Flies In Florida Are Tough
An Indiana farmer took his family to the nation's capital to see how their
government worked. After visiting the House of Representatives, they went
to the Senate gallery, where the chaplain of the Senate was speaking.
"Daddy," asked the farmer's ten-year-old daughter, "does the chaplain pray
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One Sunday, our minister told the story of how Mary and Joseph left Jesus
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The grizzled fireman was being badgered by a young lady who insisted on
knowing of any particularly unusual rescues he had carried through. "Well,"
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Below that some wit had written, "If I do, will it wiggle Bach?"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1912 Sunny Delight Diana: Brrr it is cold
BJ: Sure is none of the dogs want outside.
Diana: Except one.and he will not come inside.
BJ goes outside..: Rudy you want to come in?
Rudy: No, it feels great out here. Why would I come in?
You know I love the cool air.
BJ: Even Sandi doesn't want to come outside.
Rudy: The cool air is good for you. In fact I am thinking of taking a swim.
That's why I have my swim trunks on.
BJ: About those icicles hanging from your nose. The herd
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