Clean Chips For 6-1
- Clean Clean
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
June is one of those months where there isn't much happening
as far as established reasons to party except for Father's Day
and weddings. Here's the list to get you through the rest of the
1 Dare Day
2 National Bubba Day
3 Repeat Day
4 Applesauce Cake Day
4 Hug Your Cat Day
4 Old Maid's Day
5 World Environment Day
6 National Doughnut Day
6 National Gardening Exercise Day
6 National Yo-Yo Day
7 National Chocolate Ice Cream Day
8 Best Friends Day
8 Name Your Poison Day
9 Donald Duck Day
10 Iced Tea Day
11 Hug Holiday
12 Red Rose Day
13 Blame Someone Else Day
13 Sewing Machine Day
14 Flag Day
15 Smile Power Day
16 Fresh Veggies Day
17 Eat Your Vegetables Day
17 World Juggler's Day
18 Go Fishing Day
18 International Panic Day
18 National Splurge Day
19 World Sauntering Day
20 Ice Cream Soda Day
21 Summer Solstice
21 Go Skate Day
21 National Hollerin' Contest Day
22 National Chocolate Eclair Day
23 National Columnists Day
23 National Pink Day
23 Take Your Dog to Work Day
24 Swim a Lap Day
25 Log Cabin Day
25 National Catfish Day
26 Beautician's Day
26 Forgiveness Day
27 Paul Bunyan Day
27 Sun Glasses Day
28 Insurance Awareness Day
29 Camera Day
29 Waffle Iron Day
30 Meteor Day
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Boudreaux and his wife, Clothilde lived on a little farm outside
Mamou, Louisiana. One day Clothilde said, "Mais, Boudreaux, you have
got to get rid of dat dog. All he does is lie under the front porch
and turn over da trash cans."
Boudreaux said, "Okay Cher. I'll get rid of him."
He put him in the pickup, drove down the road a couple of miles and
dumped him out. He drove home and in a few minutes the dog showed
up. So he put him back in the truck, drove several more miles and
dumped him out. After getting back home, the dog showed up again.
Clothilde said, "You have to take him out and drive around and
around a lot in circles, den dump him out dat way he won't know da
Boudreaux said, "You some smart, Clothilde, and dats why I married
Boudreaux took the dog, drove all around and zig zagged a lot then
dumped the dog out. He started back home but pulled over and parked
and called Clothilde on his cell phone. "Has dat dog come back yet?"
Clothilde answered, "Yes, he just came in."
Boudreaux said, "Well, put him up to da phone - I'm lost."
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I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On
our first day of training, the instructor made an important point
about preparing for landing at 300 feet.
"How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one woman.
"A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you can
recognize the faces of people on the ground."
The woman thought about this for awhile before saying,
"What happens if there's no one there I know?"
Q. Why are elephants banned from public swimming pools?
A. They keep dropping their trunks.
Q. What's the difference betwen at cat and a comma?
A. One has its claws at the end of its paws; the other has its pause
at the end of its clause.
Q. What do you call a parrot in a raincoat?
Q. What do you get when you cross a teddy bear and a skunk?
A. Winnie the Peeyew!
Q. What wears a coat in the winter and pants in the summer?
A. A dog.
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Tourists ask a lot of interesting questions as we travel among the
Hawaiian Islands on my charter boat. Some people wanted to know,
"Does the water go all the way around the island?"
Another asked, "How much farther until we're in the ocean?"
The one that made me want to jump overboard was, "Can you
please take the boat closer to the sunset?"
Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps
difficult. We attach small lights called chemlites to make our
jumpsuits visible to the rest of the team.
Late one night, lost after a practice jump, we knocked at
the door of a small cottage. When a woman answered, she was greeted
by the sight of five men festooned in glowing chemlites.
"Excuse me," I said, "Can you tell us where we are?"
In a thick English accent, the woman replied, "Earth."
I believe Spud wants a pair of glasses. I don't know why
she does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But
though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses.
I took her to the eye doctor just to check it out though.
Spud was asked to read the bottom row of letters on the eye chart.
She said, "All right, I can see the 'O' and the 'P' and the 'T,' but
not the 'N' and the 'Z.'"
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You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security,
super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were
very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They
immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an
The pilot's story was that he took off from Las Vegas, got lost, and
spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air
Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him
overnight during the investigation.
By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really
was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a
terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats
of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was
that-a-way on such and such a heading, and sent him on his way.
The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same
Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane...
only this time there were two people in the plane.
The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but
my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last
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Two men walk into a bar. One sits at one end
of the bar and the other at the opposite end.
The bartender asks the first man what he wants.
I'll have a Frizzle...that's a beer with a splash of
tonic, a splash of orange juice, a squeeze of lemon,
Then the man at the other end of the bar orders.
"Make mine a Frizzle.It's a beer with just a bit of
tonic, a bit of orange juice, a squeeze of lemon,
but no lime."
The astonished bartender makes the drinks. Then
he asks the first man what he does for a living.
"I am a theoretical mathematician at the university."
Then he asks the other man what he does.
"Theoretical mathematician at the college."
"This is remarkable," says the bartender. "You both
order a drink that I've never heard of. You have the
identical profession and you both walk into my bar
on the same day at the same time. What are the
odds on something like that happening?"
Both men look up and answer in unison, "Twelve
trillion, nine hundred, and eighty-seven billion to
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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As my son's seventh birthday approached, his excitement was reaching
an all-time high. As usual, Tommy was allowed to invite about a
dozen kids who live on our block. The morning of the big day, a
woman called to say she couldn't make the party. I must have
sounded confused, so she added, "I'm Tommy's teacher." She paused,
then said, "Didn't you know he'd invited me?" "No," I said, "but
you're welcome to drop in later for a slice of birthday cake." After
another pause, she said, "Did you know he asked the entire class ...
23 children in all?"
I hung up and turned to Tommy, who was fairly bursting with glee. I
asked why he had done such a thing. "I always wanted a surprise
party, Mom! Are you surprised?"
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While practicing auto-rotations during a military
night training exercise a Huey Cobra screwed up
the landing and landed on the tail rotor.
The landing was so hard that it broke off the tail
boom. However, the chopper fortunately remained
upright on its skids, sliding down the runway doing
As the Cobra slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant
shower of sparks, this was the radio exchange that
Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"
Cobra: "I don't know, Tower. We ain't done crashing
The paper machine's speed controlled drive system
was down and the company was losing $10,000 an
hour in profits. They placed an emergency call to the
General Electric repair service, and since it was 3:00
am on Saturday night, the only repair man they had
available was old Charlie.
Old Charlie had been a repairman for 35 years and
was only two years from retirement. He had seen it
all and wasn't impressed by much.
As old Charlie pulled up to the guard shack at the
plant entrance, he was waved through and greeted
by no one less than the plant manager. "Thank
goodness you're here" he said "How long will it take
you to fix it?"
Now Charlie had had nothing more than the sketchiest
description of the problem but he replied without
hesitation, "Oh about fifteen minutes."
"Great!" replied the plant manager, "My men will show
you where the drive controls are and get you anything
After three hours of testing, reading prints, asking
questions, the drive system was still not working.
The plant manager became increasingly enraged and
accosted old Charlie, "I thought you said you
could fix this thing in FIFTEEN MINUTES!"
"I can and I will, " he replied, "As soon as I figure out
what the heck is wrong with it!"
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What did the pen say to the pencil?
"So, what's your point?"
Where are you most likely to catch a cold
What should you wear to tell your co-workers you were fired.
A pink slip.
What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?
A jeweler sells watches. A jailer watches cells.
Why is a groupie like a man hit by a Wells Fargo wagon?
They are both stage struck
What did the robber get for robbing the rubber band factory
A long stretch
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Mommy Comes Home
BJ arrives home with Diana the next evening. The dogs swarm all
Rudy: This is a fine thing to do mom.
Diana: You called me mom...
Sandi: We missed you. Are you okay?
Diana: I am fine. I feel perfect.
Rudy: Then how about rustling up some grub for us?
Rudy: I was just kidding...
Val: Where did you go?
Diana: To a hospital. I found out I was allergic to some new
It made me very ill.
Rudy: Ill I say, heck it made my feet hurt.
Diana: What do you mean?
BJ: He was so nervous he broke down a door. Actually two doors.
The herd in Guthrie
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
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