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Clean Chips For 3-1

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  • William Brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. March is such a boring month and up till the time I
    Message 1 of 1 , Mar 1, 2010
      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      March is such a boring month and up till the time I received this it
      looked like St. Patrick"s Day was the only day to go out and party.
      Now you have 31 reasons to go out and make a fool of yourself, like
      I need a reason.

      Bizarre Holidays In March

      March 1 is National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day

      March 2 is Old Stuff Day

      March 3 is I Want You To Be Happy Day, Peach Blossom Day and
      National Anthem Day

      March 4 is Holy Experiment Day

      March 5 is Multiple Personalities Day

      March 6 is National Frozen Food Day

      March 7 is National Crown Roast Of Pork Day

      March 8 is Be Nasty Day

      March 9 is Panic Day

      March 10 is Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day

      March 11 is Johnny Appleseed Day and Worship of Tools Day

      March 12 is Alfred Hitchcock Day

      March 13 is Jewel Day

      March 14 is National potato Chip Day

      March 15 is Buzzard's Day and Everything You Think Is Wrong Day

      March 16 is Everything You Do Is Right Day

      March 17 is Submarine Day

      March 18 is Supreme Sacrifice Day

      March 19 is poultry Day

      March 20 is Proposal Day and Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions

      March 21 is Fragrance Day

      March 22 is National Goof-off Day

      March 23 is National Organize Your Home Office Day and National Chip
      and Dip Day

      March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day

      March 25 is Pecan Day and Waffle Day

      March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and Spinach Festival Day

      March 27 is National "Joe" Day

      March 28 is Something On A Stick Day

      March 29 is Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day

      March 30 is I Am In Control Day

      March 31 is Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell

      Enjoy the chips... buffalo


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      Symphony Chips

      The Unfinished Symphony A company president who had been given
      tickets for the performance of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony
      couldn't attend, so he passed them to his Total Quality Management
      consultant. The next morning, when the president asked the
      consultant if he had enjoyed the concert, he was handed the
      following memo:

      1. For considerable periods, the four oboe players had nothing to
      The number should be reduced and their work spread over the whole
      orchestra, thus eliminating peaks of activity.

      2. All of the 12 violins were playing identical notes. This seemed
      unnecessary duplication, and the staff of this section should be cut

      3. No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage
      that had already been played by the strings. If all such redundant
      passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two
      hours to twenty minutes.

      4. If Schubert had attended to these matters, he would probably
      have been able to finish his symphony after all.


      Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait


      High Speed Photo

      High Speed Photo 2

      Shopping Center

      The Jet Set


      Ed Chips

      After our daughter's car wouldn't start, for the 5th time,
      we asked our neighbors, northern implants, like us, who to call.

      They suggested the local garage and told us to ask for the asked for
      the manager, Ahmed. An unusual name for the owner of "Rebel
      Garage", but who were we to judge. So we called him.

      "Hello, Ed speaking. How can I help you?" said the guy who answered
      the phone.

      "I'm sorry," I said. "I was looking for Ahmed."

      "This is Ahmed," came the reply. "How can I help you?"

      "I thought you just said your name was Ed?" I asked.

      "It is. But whenever I say 'Ahmed,' people think down here think I'm
      saying, 'I'm Ed.' I figure it's just easier to be Ed."


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      Trust Chips

      There was a guy walking in the woods one night. As he
      walked further he fell off the side of a cliff and just
      as he fell, he reached and grab a tree branch.

      He thought for sure he was going to die, but he
      remember learning as a child: when you're in trouble
      call on God.

      So he called up to Heaven, "Lord are you up there?"

      A few seconds go by and not a word from heaven.

      The man calls again, "Lord are you up there?" And again
      the lord did not response.

      This time the man made a promise to God, "if you are
      there I will serve you if you help me."

      The Lord responded and said, "my son do you trust me?"

      "Yes," replied the man.

      The Lord ask him again, "my son do you trust me"?

      "Yes I do", replied the man.

      God said, "let the branch go."

      A few seconds of silence go by, and the man yelled, "is
      there anybody else up there?"


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      Short Chips

      A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier
      would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's
      not it" and put it down again.

      This went on for some time, until the general arranged to
      have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded
      that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the

      The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."

      Chase, my brother-in-law, was desperately trying to keep his
      daughter awake while driving home one night. He sang, talked and
      Sesame Street tapes. After a while, he realized things were too
      quiet in the

      "Alexa," he called, "you're not sleeping, are you?"

      A muffled voice replied, "No, Daddy. I'm just having a long blink."


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      Riddle Chips


      What do you call a frog that cooks?
      Betty Croaker. (Robert Ford)

      Why did you name your dogs Timex and Rolex?
      Because they are watch dogs

      What do you give a dog with a fever?
      Mustard. It's the best thing for a hot dog!

      What did the flower say to its guests?
      You may be seeded.

      What person is always in a hurry?
      A Russian.

      Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
      She mislaid them.

      What do you get if an ax hits your head?
      A splitting headache.

      Stan Kegel


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      Short Chips

      The couple's 50th wedding anniversary was approaching. The husband
      asked his long-suffering wife, "What would you like to do for our
      anniversary, Dear?"

      She looked at him sourly and replied, "Become a widow!"

      A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he
      never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he even told his
      therapist that every time he got near her he felt like he was
      unimportant. He said that he felt as insignificant as a tiny

      "Well," his therapist responded, "If you want to get the girl you'll
      just have to be a little boulder!"


      A New Hampshire carpenter was called upon to put up a bulletin board
      in a church vestry. Since the walls were marble, he tried to glue
      the frame on the wall rather than nailing it, but ran into problems
      until he tried making the frame out of burr oak. That adhered quite
      successfully, leading him to admonish his young assistant, "If it
      ain't burr oak, don't affix it."


      An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
      She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

      The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but
      decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was
      old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all
      about the 'birds and the bees'. When he finished explaining, the
      little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The
      father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"

      The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would
      be ready in just a couple of secs."


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      Melva w/Like the Wind

      Solid Potato Salad - The Ross Sisters (1944) Via Dianne

      Small Thoughts

      The Power Of Prayer


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      Surfin Surfari

      How Long Will Your Food Last

      Home and Garden TV

      Bullfrog Power

      Newspapers From Around The Planet


      Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
      have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
      especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
      because I think it's just the right thing to do.

      Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
      going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
      minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
      that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
      and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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      Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

      Puppy Linux

      DingBat Lace Tute

      Thunder's Graphic Land


      Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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      Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
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      Animal World

      Doggie Zone

      Kitty Korner Mean Kitty Via Patricia

      Leopard Vs Crocodile


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      Movie Links


      Yeah Right

      Your Side Of The family

      Lake Delton Break To WI River

      Baby Panda Sneeze


      Wish Chips

      After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started
      using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy
      godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant

      Her mom first asked for world peace.

      Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.

      Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children.

      Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.

      The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her
      third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again."

      The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. "I'll
      need more power for this!" she exclaimed.


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      Toon Chips


      Water Slide




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      Pregnant Chips

      A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her
      an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen

      It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break,
      lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"

      The mother turned red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that
      *her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her
      reputation by having sex with a boy.

      The doctor turns around and faces the window and silently watches
      the horizon.

      The mother becomes enraged and screams, "Doctor, would you please
      quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying
      *any* attention to me at all?"

      "Yes, of course I'm paying attention, ma'am. It's just that... the
      last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise
      men came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out
      who got your daughter pregnant!"


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      Parting Chips

      A blonde was pulled over by a cop for speeding.
      when asked for her drivers license, she asked what it looked like.

      The cop who was also blonde replied it's rectangular and has your
      picture on it.

      The blonde pulled out a mirror looked at it and said, this must be
      it , and handed the mirror to the cop.

      The cop looked at it and said I didn't realize you were a police



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      Bonus Chip

      Young José Hernandez was wanted by the police, but before his
      youthful, illegal indiscretions, his history is a most fascinating
      one. José was the illegitimate son of a nun, and he was raised in a
      convent in northeastern Spain, near Barcelona.

      Among the skills he learned while growing up were flute and horn
      playing. Eventually he left the convent and became a musician of
      minor celebrity in the Barcelona area. However, as a flute player,
      gigs were infrequent.

      Eventually "Joe" Hernandez escaped his low-paying musician's job in
      Spain and traveled to the Middle East, trying to eke out a living.
      But wages were either low or non-existent for a nun's son whose only
      skill was flute and horn playing. Joe tried farming, but never
      adjusted to rural life. After working as a part-time farmer and
      pushing a plow, he quit that job. Finding himself destitute in
      Israel, Joe was forced into a life of crime. He robbed a museum in
      the city of Haifa, Israel, and got away with many of the city of
      Haifa's historical relics.

      The people were upset that their historical and religious icons had
      been pilfered. The Israeli police put out an all-points bulletin
      asking citizens to be on the lookout for a Haifa-lootin', flutin',
      tootin' son of a nun from Barcelona, part-time plowboy Joe.

      "Gag Time" from "The Ants Are My Friends" by Richard Lederer & Stan
      Kegel (©2007 Marion Street Press) ; "A rootin'- tootin' high
      falutin' son of a gun from Arizona, ragtime cowboy Joe" from
      "Ragtime Cowboy Joe", by Maurice Abrahams, Lewis F. Muir, and Grant


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      Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady

      Katie's Komfort Kolumn
      Vol 1241

      A Night in the Pokey

      BJ: So what were you guys thinking?

      Rudy: I just saw my cuz and said Hi Jack.

      Sandi: Yeah, it was totally innocent.

      Katie: It was police brutality.

      BJ: The policeman even said he warned you about using certain

      Katie: Well father really, how can we watch every word we say?

      BJ: You do have a point.

      Katie: Wait until my far distant relative, the Afgan hound comes
      over to visit, Abdul.

      BJ: Good grief.

      Sandi: How about my brother, Killer. I can see it now at the
      airport... Hello Killer.

      BJ: I can see life is interesting with you guys. Well alls well
      that ends well.

      The herd in Guthrie


      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


      Remember 9/11/01

      Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

      In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

      William Brabant
      711 Pine Street Apt.1
      Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

      No virus found in this incoming message.
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