Clean Chips For 3-1
- Clean Clean
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
March is such a boring month and up till the time I received this it
looked like St. Patrick"s Day was the only day to go out and party.
Now you have 31 reasons to go out and make a fool of yourself, like
I need a reason.
Bizarre Holidays In March
March 1 is National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day
March 2 is Old Stuff Day
March 3 is I Want You To Be Happy Day, Peach Blossom Day and
National Anthem Day
March 4 is Holy Experiment Day
March 5 is Multiple Personalities Day
March 6 is National Frozen Food Day
March 7 is National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
March 8 is Be Nasty Day
March 9 is Panic Day
March 10 is Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day
March 11 is Johnny Appleseed Day and Worship of Tools Day
March 12 is Alfred Hitchcock Day
March 13 is Jewel Day
March 14 is National potato Chip Day
March 15 is Buzzard's Day and Everything You Think Is Wrong Day
March 16 is Everything You Do Is Right Day
March 17 is Submarine Day
March 18 is Supreme Sacrifice Day
March 19 is poultry Day
March 20 is Proposal Day and Festival Of Extraterrestrial Abductions
March 21 is Fragrance Day
March 22 is National Goof-off Day
March 23 is National Organize Your Home Office Day and National Chip
and Dip Day
March 24 is National Chocolate Covered Raisins Day
March 25 is Pecan Day and Waffle Day
March 26 is Make Up Your Own Holiday Day and Spinach Festival Day
March 27 is National "Joe" Day
March 28 is Something On A Stick Day
March 29 is Festival Of Smoke and Mirrors Day
March 30 is I Am In Control Day
March 31 is Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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The Unfinished Symphony A company president who had been given
tickets for the performance of Schubert's Unfinished Symphony
couldn't attend, so he passed them to his Total Quality Management
consultant. The next morning, when the president asked the
consultant if he had enjoyed the concert, he was handed the
1. For considerable periods, the four oboe players had nothing to
The number should be reduced and their work spread over the whole
orchestra, thus eliminating peaks of activity.
2. All of the 12 violins were playing identical notes. This seemed
unnecessary duplication, and the staff of this section should be cut
3. No useful purpose is served by repeating with horns the passage
that had already been played by the strings. If all such redundant
passages were eliminated, the concert could be reduced from two
hours to twenty minutes.
4. If Schubert had attended to these matters, he would probably
have been able to finish his symphony after all.
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High Speed Photo
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After our daughter's car wouldn't start, for the 5th time,
we asked our neighbors, northern implants, like us, who to call.
They suggested the local garage and told us to ask for the asked for
the manager, Ahmed. An unusual name for the owner of "Rebel
Garage", but who were we to judge. So we called him.
"Hello, Ed speaking. How can I help you?" said the guy who answered
"I'm sorry," I said. "I was looking for Ahmed."
"This is Ahmed," came the reply. "How can I help you?"
"I thought you just said your name was Ed?" I asked.
"It is. But whenever I say 'Ahmed,' people think down here think I'm
saying, 'I'm Ed.' I figure it's just easier to be Ed."
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There was a guy walking in the woods one night. As he
walked further he fell off the side of a cliff and just
as he fell, he reached and grab a tree branch.
He thought for sure he was going to die, but he
remember learning as a child: when you're in trouble
call on God.
So he called up to Heaven, "Lord are you up there?"
A few seconds go by and not a word from heaven.
The man calls again, "Lord are you up there?" And again
the lord did not response.
This time the man made a promise to God, "if you are
there I will serve you if you help me."
The Lord responded and said, "my son do you trust me?"
"Yes," replied the man.
The Lord ask him again, "my son do you trust me"?
"Yes I do", replied the man.
God said, "let the branch go."
A few seconds of silence go by, and the man yelled, "is
there anybody else up there?"
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A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier
would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's
not it" and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to
have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded
that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."
Chase, my brother-in-law, was desperately trying to keep his
daughter awake while driving home one night. He sang, talked and
Sesame Street tapes. After a while, he realized things were too
quiet in the
"Alexa," he called, "you're not sleeping, are you?"
A muffled voice replied, "No, Daddy. I'm just having a long blink."
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What do you call a frog that cooks?
Betty Croaker. (Robert Ford)
Why did you name your dogs Timex and Rolex?
Because they are watch dogs
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard. It's the best thing for a hot dog!
What did the flower say to its guests?
You may be seeded.
What person is always in a hurry?
Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
She mislaid them.
What do you get if an ax hits your head?
A splitting headache.
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The couple's 50th wedding anniversary was approaching. The husband
asked his long-suffering wife, "What would you like to do for our
She looked at him sourly and replied, "Become a widow!"
A certain man was infatuated with a young woman, but was so timid he
never had the courage to speak to her. In fact, he even told his
therapist that every time he got near her he felt like he was
unimportant. He said that he felt as insignificant as a tiny
"Well," his therapist responded, "If you want to get the girl you'll
just have to be a little boulder!"
A New Hampshire carpenter was called upon to put up a bulletin board
in a church vestry. Since the walls were marble, he tried to glue
the frame on the wall rather than nailing it, but ran into problems
until he tried making the frame out of burr oak. That adhered quite
successfully, leading him to admonish his young assistant, "If it
ain't burr oak, don't affix it."
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but
decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was
old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all
about the 'birds and the bees'. When he finished explaining, the
little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The
father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"
The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would
be ready in just a couple of secs."
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva w/Like the Wind
Solid Potato Salad - The Ross Sisters (1944) Via Dianne
The Power Of Prayer
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Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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How Long Will Your Food Last
Home and Garden TV
Newspapers From Around The Planet
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and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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advantage of this:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
DingBat Lace Tute
Thunder's Graphic Land
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Leopard Vs Crocodile
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Your Side Of The family
Lake Delton Break To WI River
Baby Panda Sneeze
After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started
using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy
godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant
Her mom first asked for world peace.
Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.
Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children.
Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.
The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her
third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again."
The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. "I'll
need more power for this!" she exclaimed.
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A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her
an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's swollen
It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme a break,
lady! Your daughter is pregnant!"
The mother turned red with fury, and she argued with the doctor that
*her* daughter was a good girl, and would *never* compromise her
reputation by having sex with a boy.
The doctor turns around and faces the window and silently watches
The mother becomes enraged and screams, "Doctor, would you please
quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying
*any* attention to me at all?"
"Yes, of course I'm paying attention, ma'am. It's just that... the
last time this happened, a star appeared in the east, and three wise
men came. I was hoping they'd show up again, and help me figure out
who got your daughter pregnant!"
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A blonde was pulled over by a cop for speeding.
when asked for her drivers license, she asked what it looked like.
The cop who was also blonde replied it's rectangular and has your
picture on it.
The blonde pulled out a mirror looked at it and said, this must be
it , and handed the mirror to the cop.
The cop looked at it and said I didn't realize you were a police
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Young José Hernandez was wanted by the police, but before his
youthful, illegal indiscretions, his history is a most fascinating
one. José was the illegitimate son of a nun, and he was raised in a
convent in northeastern Spain, near Barcelona.
Among the skills he learned while growing up were flute and horn
playing. Eventually he left the convent and became a musician of
minor celebrity in the Barcelona area. However, as a flute player,
gigs were infrequent.
Eventually "Joe" Hernandez escaped his low-paying musician's job in
Spain and traveled to the Middle East, trying to eke out a living.
But wages were either low or non-existent for a nun's son whose only
skill was flute and horn playing. Joe tried farming, but never
adjusted to rural life. After working as a part-time farmer and
pushing a plow, he quit that job. Finding himself destitute in
Israel, Joe was forced into a life of crime. He robbed a museum in
the city of Haifa, Israel, and got away with many of the city of
Haifa's historical relics.
The people were upset that their historical and religious icons had
been pilfered. The Israeli police put out an all-points bulletin
asking citizens to be on the lookout for a Haifa-lootin', flutin',
tootin' son of a nun from Barcelona, part-time plowboy Joe.
"Gag Time" from "The Ants Are My Friends" by Richard Lederer & Stan
Kegel (©2007 Marion Street Press) ; "A rootin'- tootin' high
falutin' son of a gun from Arizona, ragtime cowboy Joe" from
"Ragtime Cowboy Joe", by Maurice Abrahams, Lewis F. Muir, and Grant
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
A Night in the Pokey
BJ: So what were you guys thinking?
Rudy: I just saw my cuz and said Hi Jack.
Sandi: Yeah, it was totally innocent.
Katie: It was police brutality.
BJ: The policeman even said he warned you about using certain
Katie: Well father really, how can we watch every word we say?
BJ: You do have a point.
Katie: Wait until my far distant relative, the Afgan hound comes
over to visit, Abdul.
BJ: Good grief.
Sandi: How about my brother, Killer. I can see it now at the
airport... Hello Killer.
BJ: I can see life is interesting with you guys. Well alls well
that ends well.
The herd in Guthrie
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
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