Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
One thing that has drastically changed over the years
is decorations. Back when I was a child the paid for
decorations consisted of a skeleton with joints. You
decorated windows with construction paper in orange
and black. The great things about doing leaves and
pumpkins was they could stay there till Thanksgiving
just pull the ghosts and add a cornucopia and you were
all set. Hang a sheet with some wire in it to keep it
filled out and you had a ghost. Later we always held
out on carving the pumpkin till last so that it could be
cooked and used for Thanksgiving pies.
About ten years ago every decoration went high-tech. If it
didn't use 6 AA cells you couldn't find it in the stores. The
batteries powered voices, screams , lights, and ghostly
movements. Sensors in the figures that started animation
when people approached or knocked rivaled the security
of most banks into the 70's. Construction paper is never
used much anymore as it easier to buy the cling decorations
that require no tape or scraping of the windows after
Halloween although I have seen them stick pretty good if
you leave them there for a few months.
I haven't been in the stores to look at decorations this
year but driving around town I have seen so many of the
variations of plastic figures and leaf blowers I guess hat is
what is popular. With each year there has been more cases
of vandalism and a decrease in respect for your neighbor's
possessions. Many children think it is cool
to steal or destroy decorations but with prices that
people pay for them they are looking at serious trouble
This year one of the best decorations I have ever seen consists
of a 4 ft. clear pumpkin with a Halloween scene in it filled with
water and air being bubbled through it like a big snow globe
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Random Thoughts for the Day:
1. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can
think about is that I cant wait for them to finish so that I can
tell my own story thats not only better, but also more directly
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.
4. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
5. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it
wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would
magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how
did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or
message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are
6. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
7. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger
and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when
I first saw it.
8. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
9. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
10. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately
clear your computer history if you die.
11. The only time I look forward to a red light is when Im trying
to finish a text.
12. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to
the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
13. Was learning cursive really necessary?
14. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing
else to say".
15. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
16. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street
smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
17. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars
teams up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay
19. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
20. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
21. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
the person died.
22. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in
the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
23. Bad decisions make good stories
24. Is it just me or do high school girls get trampier every year?
25. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring
would probably just be completely invisible.
26. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you've made up your mind that you just arent doing
anything productive for the rest of the day.
27. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I
don't want to have to restart my collection.
28. While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for
China and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly
certain that when Chinese athletes dont win, they are executed.
29. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
30. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal
cruising speed for pedophiles...
31. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always
hate cyclists. (That's okay. They hate you too.)
32. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
33. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know
not to answer when they call.
34. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their
car keys in a pocket, finding their cellphone, and Pinning the Tail
on the Donkey - but I bet anyone can find and push the Snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time
35. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day - "Dad what
would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the heck do I respond to
36. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
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Unbelievably Strange But True
The Insideous Insulter
A Russian man saves his rubles for twenty years to buy a new car.
After choosing the model and options he wants, he's not the least
bit surprised or even concerned to learn that it will take two
years for the new car to be delivered. He thanks the salesman and
starts to leave, but as he reaches the door he pauses and turns
back to the salesman,
"Do you know which week two years from now the new car will
arrive?" he asks.
The salesman checks his notes and tells the man that it will be
two years to the exact week. The man thanks the salesman and
starts out again, but upon reaching the door, he turns back
"Could you possibly tell me what day of the week two years from
now the car will arrive?"
The salesman, mildly annoyed, checks his notes again and says
that it will be exactly two years from this week, on Thursday.
The man thanks the salesman and once again starts to leave.
Halfway though the door, he hesitates, turns back, and walks up
to the salesman,
"I'm sorry to be so much trouble, but do you know if that will be
two years from now on Thursday in the morning, or in the
Visibly irritated, the salesman flips through his papers yet
another time and says sharply that it will be in the afternoon,
two years from now on Thursday.
"That's a relief!" says the man. "The plumber is coming in the
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Two guys are bungee-jumping one day.
The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot
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The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their
money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord,
They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they
are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly,
more and more people gather to watch them at work.
The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when
he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts
and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him,
he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is
bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him.
The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes
back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is
Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says,
"What happened? Was the cord too long?"
The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is
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The Ghost of Able Fable and the Money on the Table.....
Author Unknown Able Fable was a miserable old man, who was always
worried that someone would break into his house and steal all of his
money. Each night before he would go to sleep, he would lock his
wallet up in a safe located near his bed so that if anyone were to
try to rob him they would have to wake him up to do it.
Unfortunately, on the night that Able died he had only placed the
wallet on the table near the safe without locking it up. Before his
death, Able said to his family and friends that none of them were to
touch his home or his money and he said that anyone who came near
safe and wallet would be greeted by his ghost and be scared away.
Following Abel's death the family decided that the money in the
house was not doing any good if not used, so they went into the home
to get it. Abel's oldest son decided to make the first attempt. He
opened the door and went in, he saw Abel's wallet on the table and
reached for it. Immediately he heard a voice say: "I am the ghost of
Able Fable, put the money back on the table!" The voice scared the
son so much that he ran from the room and out the door,
screaming: "I heard the voice of a ghost!"
The oldest daughter in disbelief decided she would make her way into
Abel's room. She entered and reached for the wallet. She then heard
say: "I am the ghost of Able Fable, put the money back on the
The daughter was so scared that she dropped the wallet and ran from
screaming: "I heard the voice of a ghost!"
The youngest son, who was also a cheap man, decided to make his
attempt at getting the money. When he entered the room and reached
for the wallet he also heard the voice say: "I am the ghost of Able
Fable, put the money back on the table!" The youngest son decided
that he was not easily scared and said back: "Well, I am the ghost
Davey Crockett and the money is going to stay in my pocket!" The
youngest son took all the money and the ghost of Able Fable was
heard from again!
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-- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and
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-- You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle before:
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-- "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators are?"
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Where does the Wolfman live?
In a werehouse!
How can you tell that Doctor Victor Frankenstein had a good sense of
Because he kept his monster in stitches
Where does Dracula water ski?
In Lake Eerie, off course.
Why was there an electric spark between Frankenstein and his bride?
He couldn't resistor
Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
To see if she was his type.
Why didn't the invisible teen-ager hang out with his friends?
Too much disappear pressure
In the early days of New England, everybody went around wondering
which witch was which.
Why did the little kid dance on the jar of jam?
Because the top said, "Twist to open."
Why are movie stars cool?
Because they, have so many fans.
Why doesn't the piano work?
Because it only knows how to play.
Why were there screams coming from the kitchen?
The cook was beating the eggs.
What do you get if you cross a parakeet with a cat?
A peeping Tom
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Soul of Man
Carolyn w/ Stuart Hamblin
Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week:
Today She Cried
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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Wellcome Image Awards 2009 - A story beyond every picture Via Wesley
Are You On A Homeland Security Watch List
Weird Rainy Days
Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
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As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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Press here to get your copy:
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv) Via Lisa
If anyone is interested in GETTING A HALLOWEEN COSTUME online I sell
for every ad on my site there's a bunch of costume stores I sell for
( I GET A LITTLE KICK BACK FROM THE SALES IT HELPS )we just put up a
whole bunch of links thanks from the help of my daughter for doing
the typing and work to get my site back up I couldn't use my right
hand now for a couple of months already .I just got a cast on my arm
yesterday so I'm typing with my left finger (SLOWLY) and that's
taking forever lol but I'm on here .Thankfully I have her to do the
fast stuff for me . Also there's a party in Tinley that Rosina is
having on Halloween email me and let me know if you would like to go
with us it's on Halloween at 8 pm.INFO BELOW
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Hillary Wasn't Lying Bosnia Gunfire Footage
The HMO account manager noticed that nearly every bill from one
pediatrician's office included the line item "behavior modification
Fearing that the pediatrician was engaging in some unapproved,
experimental psychological treatment, she called the pediatrician's
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"Lollipops," was the reply.
Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home
were relaxing in the library. "You know," said Melba, "today, in
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The Six Phases of a Project.....
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When their mine became defunct, Jake and Abe decided to grow
in its cool, dark tunnels. Business prospered but Jake wanted all
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varieties in his partner's section. When. Abe found out, he had Jake
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lack of evidence, the court did find Jake guilty of corrupting the
morels of a miner.
When the analyst's forecast fell short the investor realized it was
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup
du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said,
"what is this?" Why, it's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care
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An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he
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he's in luck, there's a pizza place that just opened, and they
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The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter-viewing a
prospective student, "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.
"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father,"
"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean
"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."
Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of
balancing his new back account. "The bank returned the check you
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"Oh good," he said, "Now I can use it to buy some stereo equipment!"
I harried driving instructor came home from work, kicked off his
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"What on earth for?" his wife asked.
"It might make them feel good to see what it's like to drive on the
left side of the road-legally."
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A sailor boasted to be able to read any flag signal. He was asked
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Passing the Torch
BJ: Gather around guys.
The dogs gather at his feet.
BJ: My last name is Cassady. My mother's maiden name was Parmer.
Her mother's maiden name was Dockendorff. I have to go to a funeral
this Saturday for Leo Dockendorff and cousin of mine who was 85
years old. He was a good man. I just wanted you to know the link
he had to me.
Sandi: We kind of understand names. They are like Collies, and
Irish Setters and such, right?
BJ: Right, like tribes.
Rudy: Did you know him well?
BJ: I knew him well enough, but not as well as I would like to
He lived a long was away. He had a great sense of humor, loved me
and loved my mother.
Katie: Sounds like a decent person.
BJ: Yeah, that is why I am going. Also, to see his sister, Mary
Rudy: You folks have some crazy names.
BJ: Did I ever tell you my father's real name?
Sandi: It was Bob right?
BJ: He changed it. His birth name was Favrid Arvid.
Rudy: No wonder he changed it.
The herd in Guthrie
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
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