Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

Clean Chips For Tues

Expand Messages
  • William Brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Eva decided that she was going to pull some April s
    Message 1 of 346 , Apr 1, 2008
    • 0 Attachment
      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      Eva decided that she was going to pull some April's Fools
      mischief on me this morning. I took a break and set the
      keyboard om top of the monitor because she loves the
      stuck key sound when you press a key 20 times. I figured
      there was not much damage she could do with just the
      mouse, I was wrong. I use Outlook for my mail client
      and one of the interesting things in Outlook is the ability to
      move the headers wherever you want them, along with the
      various columns like received, subject, from, etc. She had
      somehow discovered drag and drop and had stacked all
      of my toolbars and a few message headers in a stack on the messages.
      It has been awhile since I played with them
      and although I could move them but they just floated where
      I dropped them. Finally after a half hour ot trial and error
      I discovered that if you double clicked them they would
      become part of the page. Now all I have to do is find my
      spare lancet device she grabbed this morning, fortunately
      there was no lancet in it.

      Happy April Fool's



      Please visit our Sponsor

      Get Your Spring Cleaning Samples

      And find out why spring cleaning can help you breathe easy...

      Simply enter your zip code to get started!



      Dog Chips

      *How Many Dogs Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?*

      Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got
      our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a
      stupid burned-out light bulb?

      Border Collie: Just one. And I'll replace any wiring that's not
      up to code.

      Dachshund: I can't reach the stupid lamp!

      Toy Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border collie's ear and he'll
      do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will
      be dry.

      Rottweiler: Go Ahead! Make me!

      Shi-tzu: Puh-leeze, dah-ling. Let the servants. . . .

      Lab: Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?
      Can I? Huh? Huh? Can I?

      Malamute: Let the Border collie do it.. You can feed me while
      he's busy.

      Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in
      the dark.

      Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to sleep on the couch.

      Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.


      Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.

      Pointer: I see it, there it is, right there...

      Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

      Australian Shepherd: Put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

      Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? Light bulb? That thing I just
      ate was a light bulb?



      Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

      Donor Card
      <a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/41217.htm "> Here!</a>

      Cute Redhead
      <a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/41216.htm "> Here!</a>

      Golden Blend
      <a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/41215.htm "> Here!</a>

      Little Old Ladies
      <a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20050302"> Here

      Computers in 1989
      <a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20050303"> Here

      Pacifier Patch
      <a href="http://www.lablaughs.com/clean_toon.php?id=C20050304"> Here


      Texan Chips

      A little prospector wearing clean new shoes walked
      into a saloon. A big Texan standing at the bar said
      to his friend, "Watch me make this dude dance."

      He walked over to the prospector and said, "You're a foreigner,
      aren't you? From the East?"

      "You might say that," said the prospector, "I'm from Boston and I'm
      here prospecting for gold."

      "Now tell me something," said the Texan,

      "Can you dance?"

      "Well I'm going to teach you," said the Texan. And with that the
      Texan took out his gun and started shooting at the prospectors' feet.

      Hopping, skipping, and jumping the little prospector made it to the
      door shaking like a leaf.

      About an hour later the Texan left the saloon. As soon as he stepped
      outside the door he heard a click. He looked around and there, four
      feet from his head was the biggest shotgun he had ever seen.

      The little prospector said, "Mr. Texan, have you ever kissed a mule?"

      "No," said the quick thinking Texan, "but I've always wanted to."


      Did Your Ham Look Like You Carved It With A Chain Saw?

      Now you can cut, chop, slice, dice, cube and mince all of your meats,
      fruits, vegetables
      and even frozen foods quickly and effortlessly, thanks to the Sonic

      Every Sonic Blade comes with 2 sets of blades, a 5-in-1 blade set and
      the micro slicer set blade.
      And today, you'll receive a second bonus Sonic Blade FREE!

      Order direct from the Official TV website:



      Short Chips

      Several years ago, I visited Germany. I had hoped to teach at the
      base school perhaps, but no positions were open. I applied with the
      PX instead. The personnel manager looked at all my education and
      experience and asked, "Do you know anything about computers?"

      "No," I replied honestly.

      "That's okay," she said. "Nobody else does either. You're hired to
      work in the computer store."

      My car was old but had low mileage and still ran well, so I decided
      to donate it to charity. Unfortunately, it was so bashed and dented;
      the organizations I contacted turned me down after they saw it.

      Finally, I found a place that would overlook my car's condition and
      accepted it: the Council of the Blind.


      Become an eBay master with Video Professor

      Video Professor offers you the fastest, easiest and most affordable
      way to learn how to buy and sell on eBay. Best of all, Video
      Professor allows you to learn the secrets to eBay sucess at your own
      pace from the comfort of your home or office.

      Video Professor will teach you everything you need to know about
      buying and selling on eBay quickly, including how to open your own
      eBay store, how to maximize your sales and profits, tips and tricks
      for winning auctions with low bids and much more!

      Once you've completed this 3-CD self-paced course, you will be ready
      to buy and sell on eBay and even start your own eBay store with total



      Jewish Chips

      Two Jews had businesses on the same street. One had customers coming
      and going and the other, well, maybe two or three a day. Finally,
      Morris, whose business was doing badly, decided to visit Shapiro, who
      was doing very well. Going in the door, he saw a large banner over
      the entrance which read : "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE."

      Morris wanted to know why Shapiro was going out of business, since he
      seemed to be doing so well. Shapiro confided, "That sign has been in
      my window for almost eight months. If I took it down, I would go out
      of business."

      Groucho Marx was married to a non-Jew. When their son was refused
      admittance to a "restricted" country club, Groucho sent the club a
      telegram. "Since my little son is only half-Jewish, would it be all
      right if he goes into the pool only up to his waist?"


      Who Should Lead The U.S. Into The Future?

      [] Hillary Clinton
      [] John McCain
      [] Barack Obama

      Here NOW To Vote:



      Language Chips

      A Swiss man, on vacation in the U.S. is driving a rented car and
      looking for directions; he pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans
      are waiting.

      "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two
      Americans just stare at him.

      "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?" he tries. The two continue to

      "Parlano Italiano?" No response.

      "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.

      The Swiss guy drives off, frustrated. The first American turns to the
      second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language."

      "Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four foreign languages, and it
      didn't do him any good."


      Grill Daddy - The Ultimate Way to Clean Your Grill!

      Clean your grill with the power of steam.



      Flood Chips

      An Iowa minister is in a flood. The river is overflowing, and water
      water surrounds the church up to the front porch. As he is standing
      at the top of the steps, a boat comes up. The man in the boat says
      "Jump in, Padre, we'll take you to safety."

      The minster says, "Bless you but no, I put my trust in God. God
      will provide for me." The boat goes away.

      The water rises to the second floor. The minister is looking out a
      window just above the water line. A larger boat comes up, and a man
      on the boat bellows through a bull horn, "C'mon, Padre! Before it's
      too late! We'll get you out of here."

      "No, thanks. My faith is in God. God will provide for me." The
      boat goes away.

      Now the whole church is submerged with only the roof above the
      water line. As The minister stands on the roof, a helicopter flies
      overhead and drops a rope ladder. "Climb up, Padre! This is your
      last chance!"

      "No thank you. I have faith. God will provide for me."

      The helicopter flies away.

      The water continues to rise. It sweeps the minister off the roof
      and he drowns.

      In heaven, God says to him, "What are you doing here?"

      "I put my trust in You and You let me down."

      "What do you mean, I let you down?!? I sent you two boats and a


      Love Spells. When Nothing Else Works
      Magic love spells for everyone!

      Wine Cellar Secrets.
      How To Build The Ideal Wine Cellar To Store Your Wine In Optimum
      Condition http://buffalosjokes.com/cellar

      Soap Making Made Simple!
      Step-By-Step Guide To Making Fragrant and Elegant Soap


      LynnLynn's Links

      If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-
      mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@...

      Subscribers and Friends

      John w/ Priscilla Presley ~Dancing With The Stars~ Week 3

      Carolyn with/Mockingbird Hill




      Here is some more information about this new way to watch

      1) All of the programming is uncensored!

      2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch! And
      new channels are added every day!

      3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
      And new stations are added daily!

      4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
      your PC and laptop!

      5) No additional hardware is needed!

      6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!

      Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:



      Surfin Surfari

      April fools day museumofhoaxes


      New light bulbs br>can poison you

      april fools day

      April Month - Traditions including April Fools Day


      Special Report - Top 25 Paid Survey Sites Online!

      Don't waste time registering with the over 400 survey sites online -
      we've done the work for you and tried them all. With our top 25 sites
      you'll earn more than with all the rest combined!

      Here's how it works:

      *Fill out simple surveys
      *Earn cold hard cash
      *Easy to get started
      *Work from home

      Don't miss out, Sign up FREE Today!



      Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

      New Banking Trojan... really strange

      Royalty Free Music Loops

      Flash Loops


      You probably think I've lost my mind - and maybe I have - but just
      visit this site right now and in 5 minutes you''ll have this awesome
      $497 Internet business training kit as my gift to you. No kidding!

      Why am I giving this away?

      I finally got so sick and tired of watching fakers and bigmouths sell
      wrong information about how to make a fortune online... that I've to
      decided give away my awesome Internet Business Training System so I
      can help people finally get the truth!

      See... I've made a fortune online and I've helped over 100,000
      customers to unlock the secrets to getting started online - the right

      Press here to Grab it quick - right now - before I change my mind...



      Animal World

      Doggie Zone

      Kitty Korner



      Are you still SINGLE? Last week we sent you an email to notify you
      about our new dating network that is -FREE- to join, and not only do
      we have thousands of single women and men located right in your city,
      but we have the EXACT SINGLE women and men that you would want to
      meet and date this week!




      Visit Melissa's Stores and see all the bargains she has in store for
      you. Savings from merchants you use every day.




      Golf FSI


      Bobble Moose

      911 Call



      Creation Chips

      Creation vs Evolution has been settled!

      A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race come about?'

      The Mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; they had children, and
      so all
      mankind was made.'

      A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question.
      father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed

      The confused girl returns to her mother and says, 'Mom, how is it
      that you told me that the human race was created by God, and Papa
      says we
      developed from monkeys?'

      The Mother answers, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about
      origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his

      Jim Tenn


      Top car insurance at the best rates.

      Are you spending too much for car insurance? Whether you're looking
      for a lower rate or a different coverage plan altogether, we can

      Compare rates and save up to 40%. Get Quotes Now!



      Toon Chips

      <a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/41214.htm "> Here!</a>

      <a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/41213.htm "> Here!</a>

      Left The Money
      <a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/41212.htm "> Here!</a>

      It's A Dogs Life!
      <a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny619.html">Here!</a>

      Caught After The Fact
      <a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny620.html">Here!</a>

      <a href="http://www.aikenslaughs.com/forfun/funny621.html">Here!</a>


      Stay home to go to the movies with BLOCKBUSTER Total Access.

      Choose from over 80,000 of your favorite titles and get a 2 Week
      Free Trial. Visit below and grab some popcorn!

      Talk about movie magic-join BLOCKBUSTER Total Access today and get a

      2 Week Free Trial! Now there's an offer that's definitely great, so
      get started below.



      Limerick Chips

      Obama supporters proclaim
      That Clinton must quit, hurling blame,
      Shrieking "Stop this damn fray!"
      Dems love fighters, they say.
      But not if the fighter's a dame.
      <Madeline Begun Kane>

      My interest in polling is waning:
      Who's winning -- who's losing -- who's gaining.
      Tell me where these guys stand —
      Who's a liar? What's canned?
      Give me substance — not horse race-campaigning.
      <Madeline Begun Kane>

      A squirrel who wanted some food
      Did something I'd call rather rude:
      He squeezed into a cage,
      Ate the bird feed — not sage.
      Now his tummy's too fat to extrude.
      <Madeline Begun Kane>
      <Snagged by>


      Huntington's Simply Swipe - Original Finish Revitalizer

      Restores wood finishes from color, watermarks, scratches, sun fade,
      and wear.

      No Stripping, No Sanding, or Harsh Chemicals.

      ** 100% Satisfaction **

      Start your order now and receive the free special bonus offer.



      Parting Chips


      Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
      To make up for a lousy summer

      What do you call a country, where all the cars in it are pink?
      A pink carnation

      What did one race horse say to the other race horse?
      The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.

      What do you call a public transit rider reading The Lord of the Rings?
      A subway Tolkien.

      Why do gardeners hate weeds?
      Give weeds an inch and they'll take a yard.

      Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?
      Because she never marries the best man.

      What's the difference between Noah's ark and Joan of Arc?
      One is made of wood and the other is Maid of Orleans.

      Stan Kegel


      Remarkable New Handle That Keeps You Safe

      Ever wish you had a helping hand to get out of the bathtub or to
      steady yourself while exiting the shower. Get A Grip is the solution

      you've been looking for.

      Two amazingly powerful suction cups hold the handle securely in place
      with no tools and installs in seconds.

      Additional Ordering Details:



      Bonus Chip

      Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making
      her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As
      luck would have it, an Exxon gasoline station was just a block away.

      She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The
      attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned
      out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann
      was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked
      back to her car.

      She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and
      spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful,
      Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with
      gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

      As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from
      across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, 'If it
      starts, I'm turning Catholic.'



      Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual? Well, if
      you've downloaded any music, movie clips, or games in the past 2
      months, then your computer may be infected with "Ad-Ware" and "Spy-

      Advertisers use downloadable music as a vehicle to "legally" add "Spy-
      Ware" and "Ad-Ware" to consumer PCs. If you're suspicious that
      Internet Advertisers have added "Ad-Ware" or "Spy-Ware" to your
      computer, then here's your chance to scan your computer at no charge.

      Press Here to Begin Scan (YOU WILL NOT BE CHARGED FOR THIS):


      Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady

      Katie's Komfort Kolumn
      Vol 1271

      Golf Wrap Up

      The 18th hole is coming up..

      BJ: What is the score now?

      Sandi: Katie has 78, I have 78, Rudy has 158, but he has done
      much better since you gave him the pool cue.

      Rudy: Last hole, I am tired.

      BJ: You should be. You have wandered twice as far as anyone else

      Sandi: Okay I am up first. Whack!

      Katie: Nice shot sis, about 30 yards short of the hole.
      Watch me... Whack!

      Rudy: Nice going Katie, on the green.
      Let's see what I can do. Whack!

      Sandi: I didn't see the ball.

      BJ: Me either.

      Later..on the green.

      BJ: Rudy what was your ball?

      Rudy: It was a Lab100.

      BJ: It is in the cup.

      Rudy: A-Rooo!!!

      Katie lines up her putt, if she makes it she wins. She putts,,,it
      by the cup but does not fall in..

      Katie stomps up and down...%##@^#$!

      Sandi calmly takes out her 9 iron and slaps her shot,,,it rolls
      the cup, hovers over it...and drops in.

      BJ: Looks like you win by a stroke.

      Katie: I am having a stroke.

      Rudy: A stroke of misfortune.

      The herd in Guthrie


      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


      Remember 9/11/01

      Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

      In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

      William Brabant
      711 Pine Street Apt.1
      Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
    • William Brabant
      My name is buffalo and I have the watch. Sunday around brunch time Eva came into my room and said Grandpa, It s a tomato morning. I figured Sandy was fixing
      Message 346 of 346 , Aug 27, 2013
      • 0 Attachment
        My name is buffalo and I have the watch.

        Sunday around brunch time Eva came into my room
        and said Grandpa, It's a tomato morning. I figured
        Sandy was fixing breakfast and then my TV started
        beeping and thats's when I figured out Eva had actually
        meant tornado warning. It wasn't that serious, though,
        only severe thunderstorms and we didn't even get the
        quarter sized hail but we did get plenty of wind and
        buckets of rain and it kept on coming till about 0500.

        I finally got to bed after the16 hour light show and then
        it was time to go get bloodwork done. I called doctor's
        office and told them I had done the tests and asked
        them to call when they had the results and give me any
        dosages that had been modified so I could take my pills.
        While I was on the phone I noticed a lot of static which
        isn't unusual as there are fiber optics in the neighborhood
        connecting to 60 years of copper wire. I laid down to take
        a nap and wait for the call and woke up at 1530 with
        still no call so I called doctor's office and they had been
        calling me all afternoon. The static was also causing the
        modem to disconnect randomly.

        On the good side though my meds are ok at least for
        another week or so. Hope you are having a great week.



        Short Chips

        The man, trying to start up a conversation with another
        man said, "WOW! Who is that incredibly ugly lady over there?"
        The second man said, "Why, that's my wife!"
        Trying to get out of an embarassing situation, the first man
        said, "No, not her, the other one!"
        The second man said, "That's my daughter!"
        The teacher, during an English lesson, asked her students: "Now tell
        me, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no
        longer interested?"
        Little Johnny, in the back row, raised his hand.
        "Yes, Johnny," said the teacher
        "A teacher!"
        A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2
        servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume about 3,500
        calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per
        Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric
        intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165 pounds.
        So... without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing
        about 3 months ago! I owe my life to chocolate!!


        Sailing Chips

        The first mate on a ship decided to celebrate an occasion with a
        "little" stowed away rum. Unfortunately he got drunk and was still drunk
        the next morning. The captain saw him drunk and when the first mate was
        sober, showed him the following entry in the ship's log: "The first mate
        was drunk today."

        "Captain please don't let that stay in the log", the mate said. "This
        could add months or years to my becoming a captain myself."

        "Is it true?" asked the captain, already knowing the answer.

        "Yes, its true" the mate said.

        "Then if it is true it has to go in the log. That's the rule. If its
        true it goes into the log, end of discussion," said the captain sternly.

        Weeks later, it was the first mate's turn to make the log entries. The
        first mate wrote: "The ship seems in good shape. The captain was sober


        Blonde Chips

        A very large, old, building was being torn down in Chicago to
        make room for a new skyscraper. Due to its proximity to other buildings
        it could not be imploded and had to be dismantled floor by floor.
        While working on the 49th floor, two construction workers found
        a skeleton in a small closet behind the elevator shaft. They decided
        that they should call the police.
        When the police arrived they directed them to the closet and
        showed them the skeleton fully clothed and standing upright. They said,
        "This could be Jimmy Hoffa or somebody really important."
        Two days went by and the construction workers couldn't stand it
        any more; they had to know who they had found. They called the police
        and said, "We are the two guys who found the skeleton in the closet and
        we want to know if it was Jimmy Hoffa or somebody important."
        The police said, "It's not Jimmy Hoffa, but it was somebody kind
        of important."
        "Well, who was it?"
        "The 1956 Blonde National Hide-and-Seek Champion."


        Camp Chips

        Dear Mr. Johnson:

        Ann Landers wouldn't print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to
        get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try
        and explain.

        It's about my son, Billy. He's always been a good, normal 10 year old
        boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp
        for Billy.

        We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with
        swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire -- you know. There
        were sports camps and specialty camps for weight reduction, music,
        military camps and camps that specialized in Tibetan knot tying.

        I tried to talk him into Camp Winnepoopoo. It's where he went last year.
        Billy would have none of it. Billy pulled a brochure out of his pocket.
        It was for a COMPUTER CAMP! We should have put our foot down right
        there, if only we had known. He left three weeks ago.

        I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED. He's changed. I can't explain it. See
        for yourself.

        These are some of my little Billy's letters:
        Letter # 1
        The kids are dorky nerds. The food stinks. The computers are the only
        good part. We're learning how to program. Late at night is the best time
        to program, so they let us stay up. Love, Billy.

        Letter # 2
        Dear Mom,
        Camp is O.K. Last night we had pizza in the middle of the night. We all
        get to choose what we want to drink. By the way, can you make Szechwan
        food? I'm getting used to it now. Gotta go, it's time for the flowchart
        class. Love, Billy.

        P.S. This is written on a word processor. Pretty swell, huh? It's spell
        checked too.

        Letter # 3
        Dear Mom,
        Don't worry. We do regular camp stuff. We told ghost stories by the glow
        of the green computer screens. It was real neat. I don't have much of a
        tan cause we don't go outside very often. You can't see the computer
        screen in the sunlight anyway. That wimp camp I went to last year fed us
        weird food too. Lay off, Mom. I'm okay, really.

        Love, Billy.

        Letter # 4
        Dear Mom,
        I'm fine. I'm sleeping enough. I'm eating enough. This is the best camp
        ever. We scared the counselor with some phony worm code. It was real
        funny. He got mad and yelled. Can you send more money? I've got to chip
        in on the phone bill. Did you know that you can talk to people on a
        computer? Give my regards to Dad.

        Love, Billy.

        Letter # 5
        Dear Mother,
        Forget the money for the telephone. We've got a way to not pay. Sorry I
        haven't written. I've been learning a lot. I'm real good at getting onto
        any computer in the country. It's really easy! I got into the
        university's in less than fifteen minutes. Frederick did it in five,
        he's going to show me how. Frederick is my bunk partner. He's really
        smart. He says that I shouldn't call myself Billy anymore. So, I'm not.

        Signed, William.

        Letter # 6
        Dear Mother,
        How nice of you to come up on Parents Day. Why'd you get so upset? I
        haven't gained that much weight. The glasses aren't real. Everybody
        wears them. I was trying to fit in. Believe me, the tape on them is
        cool. I thought that you'd be proud of my program. After all, I've made
        some money on it. A publisher is sending a check for $30,000. Anyway,
        I've paid for the next six weeks of camp. I won't be home until late

        Regards, William.

        Letter # 7
        Stop treating me like a child. True -- physically I am only ten years
        old. It was silly of you to try to kidnap me. Do not try again.
        Remember, I can make your life miserable (i.e. - the bank, credit
        bureau, and government computers). I am not kidding. O.K.? I won't write
        again and this is your only warning. The emotions of this interpersonal
        communication drain me.

        Sincerely, William.

        What can I do, Mr. Johnson?

        See what I mean? It's been two weeks since I've heard from my little
        boy. I know that it's probably too late to save my little Billy. But, if
        by printing these letters you can save JUST ONE CHILD from a life of
        programming, please, I beg of you to do so. Thank you very much.

        Sally Gates,
        Concerned Parent


        Please forgive our lack of a fancy template at the moment and
        enjoy these pages from our friends.


        Animals on Trampolines Via Richard


        Delightful Day

        Scientists Unveil New Species!

        This dummy knows his stuff
        Before you watch it, do you know the answer to the question
        "What is the Third Amendment? If not, you'll find out.

        Chinese GM?

        What Happens When A Washcloth is Wrung in Space?

        Have you seen the latest dance craze? It's called "twerking." It's
        drawn controversy since Miley Cyrus made it famous and now twins Terry
        and Josie, 74, and their 82-year-old sister Mary are showing off their
        "twerking" skills! The grannies say some inappropriate words, but what
        the heck? They're fantastic!


        Grandpa Chips

        *Grandpa and The Computer*

        The computer swallowed Grandpa
        Yes honestly, its true.
        He pressed 'control' and 'enter'
        And disappeared from view.

        It's devoured him completely
        The thought just makes me squirm.
        Maybe he's caught a virus
        Or been eaten by a worm.

        I've searched through the recycle bin
        And files of every kind.
        I've even used the internet
        But nothing could I find.

        I asked Jeeves in desperation
        My searches to refine.
        The reply from him was negative
        Not a thing was found online.

        So, if someday in your 'In Box'
        My Grandpa you should see.
        Please 'Scan', 'Copy' and 'Paste' him
        In an e-mail back to me.


        Gas Chips


        Two couples went out golfing together. The men hit first from the men's
        tee and walked with the ladies to their tee box.

        The first lady took a mighty swing at the ball, missing it completely,
        while passing some gas rather loudly in the process. No one commented.

        She addressed the ball again but this time she passed just little gas as
        she made contact with the ball, topping it and moving it only a short

        She said, "I wonder why it didn't go any further?"

        One of the men said, "I don't think you gave it enough gas!"


        Fortune Chips

        In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller
        delivered grave news:

        "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare
        to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this

        Visibly shaken, the young woman stared back at the old woman's lined
        at the single flickering candle, then down at her shaking hands.

        She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. Her mind raced. A question
        forced it's way out... she simply had to know.. She met the Fortune
        Teller's gaze, tried to steady her voice and asked,

        "Will I be acquitted?"
        For some reason, wives tend to like this joke .



        Parting Chips

        A difficult moral dilemma: you are on a plane headed for a tropical
        vacation, and you crash. you and most of the other passengers end up on a
        deserted island. The world thinks you perished in the sea. No one is coming
        to rescue you. There is not enough coconut, fresh water, and fish to sustain
        everyone. Among the survivors are an IRS agent, a DOJ lawyer, and an
        assistant communications director from the administration. Which one do you
        stir fry, which one do you barbecue, and which one goes into a


        Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


        Remember 9/11/01

        Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this opt-in mailing list

        In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

        William Brabant
        711 Pine Street Apt.1
        Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
      Your message has been successfully submitted and would be delivered to recipients shortly.