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Clean Chips For Fri

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  • William Brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Before I get to the list of holidays for the month
    Message 1 of 342 , Feb 1, 2008
      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      Before I get to the list of holidays for the month
      of February I would like to mention that this is also
      National Marijuana Month. I also would like to mention
      that marijuana possession and use still violates a lot
      of state and federal laws. Observe the law or you may
      be celebrating Justice Awareness Month followed in
      October by Prison Awareness Month.

      This month's weird holidays were sent in by Josh who
      is always looking for a reason to party.

      February 1 is Serpent Day

      February 2 is Purification Day

      February 3 is Cordova Ice Worm Day

      February 4 is Create A Vacuum Day

      February 5 is Disaster Day

      February 6 is Lame Duck Day

      February 7 is Charles Dickens Day

      February 8 is Kite Flying Day

      February 9 is Toothache Day

      February 10 is Umbrella Day

      February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day and Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk

      February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day

      February 13 is Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your Sweet Day

      February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to Heart Day

      February 15 is National Gum Drop Day

      February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day

      February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day

      February 18 is National Battery Day

      February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day

      February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day

      February 21 is Card Reading Day

      February 22 is Be Humble Day

      February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

      February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day

      February 25 is Pistol Patent Day (Samuel Colt)

      February 26 is National Pistachio Day

      February 27 is International Polar Bear Day

      February 28 is Public Sleeping Day

      February 29 is National Surf and Turf Day

      Enjoy the chips and have a great weekend.



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      Useless Chips

      An old farmer became weak and disabled, he couldn't work the fields
      anymore. So he would spend the day just sitting on the porch.

      His son, still working the farm, would look up from time to time and
      see his father sitting there. "He's of no use any more," the son
      thought to himself, "he doesn't do anything!"

      One day the son got so frustrated by this, that he built a good
      wooden coffin, dragged it over to the porch, and told his father to
      get in. Without saying anything, the father climbed inside. After
      closing the lid, the son dragged the coffin to the edge of the farm
      where there was a high cliff.

      As he approached the drop, he heard a light tapping on the lid from
      inside the coffin. He opened it up. Still lying there peacefully, the
      father looked up at his son. "I know you are going to throw me over
      the cliff, but before you do, may I suggest something?"

      "What is it?" replied the son.

      "Throw me over the cliff, if you like," said the father, "but save
      this fine wooden coffin. Your children might need to use it."


      Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

      Messed Up
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      AARP Chips

      "Q&A from an AARP Forum"

      Q: Where can women over the age of 60 find
      younger, sexy men who are interested in them?
      A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

      Q: What can a man do while his wife is going
      through menopause?
      A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you
      can finish the basement. When you are done
      you will have a place to live.

      Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your
      60+ year old husband?
      A: Tell him you're pregnant!

      Q: How can you avoid spotting wrinkles every
      time you walk by a mirror?
      A: Take off your glasses.

      Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet
      A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

      Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have
      problems with short term memory storage?
      A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving
      it is a problem.

      Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
      A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

      Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye
      A: On their foreheads.

      Q: What is the most common remark made by
      60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
      A: "Gosh, I remember these!"



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      Red Light Chips

      Two guys in a car drive right through the red light.

      "Man, you just ran that red light!" exclaimed the passenger.

      "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," said the driver.

      They continue driving through town and then proceed to drive through
      stop light.

      "You just ran another stop light! You're going to get us killed!"
      the nervous passenger.

      "Don't worry, my brother does it all the time," repeated the driver.

      Moments later, they approached a green light and they came to a

      "Why are you stopping?" asked the anxious passenger.

      The driver turned and said, "Because my brother might be coming!"


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      Cannibal Chips

      Some Cannibal Shorties

      * Two cannibals were eating a clown. One said to the other:"Does this
      funny to you?"

      * Two cannibals were sitting beside the fire after a sumptuous meal.
      turned to the other and siad:"Your wife sure makes a good
      roast." "Yeah, I'm really going to miss her."

      * What is the title of the best-selling cannibal book?
      "How To Serve Your Fellow Man."

      * What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
      The cold shoulder.

      * A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the

      * Did you hear about the cannibal student who was suspended from
      school for
      buttering up his teacher?

      * Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant where dinner costs an
      arm and
      a leg?

      * Two cannibals were eating dinner. One said:"I really hate my
      sister." The other said:"Well, just eat the noodles."

      * What do cannibals do at a wedding?
      They toast the bride and groom.


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      Law Chips

      The Way It Is...

      "The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
      When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

      "The Law of Common Sense"
      Never accept a drink from a urologist.

      "The Law of Volunteering"
      If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

      "The Law of Self Sacrifice
      When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

      "Weiler's Law"
      Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

      "The Law of Reality"
      Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

      "Law of Probable Dispersal"
      Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

      "Law of Volunteer Labor"
      People are always available for work in the past tense.

      "Conway's Law"
      In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on.
      That person will be fired.

      "The Steel Law of Distribution"
      They what has some... They gets more.

      "Law of Cybernetic Entomology"
      There is always one more bug.

      "Law of Drunkedness"
      You cannot fall off the floor.

      "The Law of Management"
      The first myth of good management is that it exists.

      "Osborne's Law"
      Variables won't; constants aren't.

      "Washington's Law"
      For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.


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      Robber Chips

      An original

      My wife woke me up at 3am

      Diana: BJ, I think I hear a robber downstairs. I think you should go
      downstairs and check it out.

      BJ: No, for two reasons.

      Diana: Yeah, what are they?

      BJ: First, you could be wrong and there is nothing going on.

      Diana: And the second reason?

      BJ: You could be right.


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      Valentine Day Sites

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      plane crash

      Redneck Women



      Short Chips

      Social workers

      Two social workers were walking through a rough part of
      the city one evening. They heard moans and muted cries
      for help from a back alley. Upon investigation, they
      found a semi -conscious man in a pool of blood.

      "Help me, I've been mugged and beaten," he pleaded.

      The two social workers turned and walked away, and one
      remarked to his colleague, "You know, the person who
      did this really needs help."


      Getting old

      Three older ladies were discussing the travails of
      getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with
      a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrig-
      erator and can't remember whether I need to put it away
      or start making a sandwich."

      The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself
      on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether
      I was on my way up or on my way down."

      The third one responded, "Well, I'm glad I don't have
      that problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles
      on the table. Then she told them, "That must be the door;
      I'll get it!"



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      Toon Chips

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      A Little Unsafe
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      How, How, How?
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      Redneck Chips

      A redneck and a Frenchman were caught in Kentucky
      for making and selling bad moonshine. The law decided
      to hang them off the middle of the Ohio Bridge. They
      tied the rope around the Frenchman's neck and
      said, "Do you have any last words?"

      He said, "No."

      They threw him off the bridge, but the rope was too
      long. He removed the rope from his neck and swam to
      the Ohio side of the river.

      Then they tied the same rope around the redneck's
      neck and said, "Do you have any last words to say?"

      He said, "Yep, you-uns shorten up that thare rope
      boys 'caws I can't swim."


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      Parting Chips

      A New Mom took her baby daughter to the supermarket
      for the first time. She dressed her in pink from
      head to toe. At the store, she placed her in the
      shopping cart and put her purchases around her.

      At the checkout line a small boy and his mother
      were ahead of them. The child was crying and
      begging for a special treat.

      "He wants some candy or gum and his mother
      won't let him have any," she thought.

      Then she heard his mother's reply.

      "No!" she said, looking in her direction.
      "You may not have a baby
      sister today. That lady got the last one!"



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      Bonus Chip


      What kind of meat doesn't stand up?
      Lean meat.

      How do you take a deer census?
      By going doe to doe (James Ertner)

      Why did the man bring his dog to the railroad station?
      To train him

      What is the best way to prevent water coming into your house?
      Don't pay the water bill (Bennett Cerf)

      What is a mouse's favorite game?
      Hide and Squeak

      Stan Kegel


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      Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady

      Katie's Komfort Kolumn
      Vol 1217

      Whine on Whine on Harvest Moon

      Katie: I am tired of it being kold all the time.

      Sandi: It is winter time, what do you expect?

      Katie: I expect it to be better than this.

      Rudy: It isn't so bad. You just got to get used to it.

      Katie: Yeah easy for you to say, you have a coat that a polar bear
      would be envious of.

      Rudy: Which makes me hot in the summer.

      Katie: Another thing, I am tired of the ice and snow.


      Sandi: I will get you a glass for this wine I just opened.

      Rudy: How about some cheese and crackers. You have a nice whine

      Katie: Nobody kares, nobody suffers like I do....woe is me.

      Sandi: Break out the violin.

      Rudy: I will get my bagpipe.

      Katie: Whoa!!! Look, I feel much better. In fact I think I will go
      skiing! Anybody want to go with me?

      The herd in Guthrie


      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


      Remember 9/11/01

      Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

      In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

      William Brabant
      711 Pine Street Apt.1
      Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
    • William Brabant
      Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Hello, Everyone. After a week of worrying and
      Message 342 of 342 , Dec 11, 2009
        Clean Clean

        Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
        name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

        Hello, Everyone.

        After a week of worrying and trying to get Yahoo's servers to
        work properly, their engineers have reestablished service to
        all of the readers of the chips It is easy to point at a problem
        and ask to have it fixed, it is another thing to find it in a jungle
        of servers with a 100 million users. As a personal point it
        made me feel good to see all of you actually notice that I wasn't
        arriving every morning.

        I have a doctor's appointment this morning and he probably isn't
        happy with me. It has been about 75 days since I was in their last
        and he wanted to see me after 6 weeks which was a stretch even

        Yep he was unhappy and is dreaming up all sorts of tests to put me
        through including that miserable chemical stress test again and this

        is all over the minute amount of blood in my urine. I lose less that
        than from all the blood test they take over a year but they never
        about that and judging by the number of checks on the lab order
        for next Monday they will probably will be taking a pint or so heh
        Then I am scheduled for an ultrasound of my kidneys right before
        Christmas which isn't bad and then an IVP after that. If I remember
        correctly you had to drink a couple bottles of Yuck before that one
        and then a trip through the cat scan. I feel better than I have
        the plant closure and that's what worries me. When I was in the Navy
        they converted from black oil to something similar to fuel oil. It
        less lubricating ability than the old stuff and the fuel pumps
        several times a year except for one. It had run for five years
        failure and when we went into overhaul we had to tear it down for an

        inspection. When they opened the pump the bearings fell apart and
        the pump had to be replaced. Sometimes I feel like if they do too
        much poking and prodding I might fall apart too.

        Enjoy the chips... buffalo


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        Medicine Chips

        The Top Signs It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet

        [From Ruminations Top Five]

        "For refill, ring KLondike 6-4-3."

        The leeches look like they might have turned.

        Funny, you don't *remember* being prescribed mouse turds.

        The dim glow from the bathroom is keeping you awake --
        but you don't have a night-light.

        A tiny cockroach rehab clinic has been set up between
        the aftershave and the aspirin.

        Why keep that Preparation H? It was the worst-tasting toothpaste

        The drill bit you use to let the "bad ayre" out of your
        skull can't be sharpened.

        Your nosy neighbors leave the bathroom saying, "Don't
        touch me."

        The Brylcream can go -- the last time you ran your
        fingers through your hair was when you cleaned out the drain.

        There's a skeleton on the other side with a note saying,
        "Hi, Guy!"

        and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine

        Was there ever really a "Preparation A?"


        Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

        Which Christmas Song Are You?

        Boxhead Zombie Wars

        Dreams: A Difference Adventure


        School Chips

        School Best Sellers

        Walking To School The First Day Back - by Misty Bus

        The Day The Car Pool Forgot Me - by I. Rhoda Bike

        Can't See The Chalkboard - by Sidney Backrow

        Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School - by Major

        What I Dislike About Returning To School - by Mona Lott

        Making It Through The First Week Of School - by Gladys Saturday

        Is Life Over When Summer Ends? - by Midas Welbee

        What I Love About Returning To School - by I.M. Kidding

        Will Jimmy Finally Graduate? - by I. Betty Wont

        What Happens When You Get Caught Skipping School - by U. Will


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        Short Chips

        The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
        "There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning," he
        snapped. "Wouldn't it be better to hear one at a time?"

        Little Johnny shouted, "Okay---you start."


        Then there was the blonde who had trouble filling out a job
        Where it said, "Married," she wrote "twice"; where it said,
        "Children," she wrote, "No, both were men." ......


        The weather today was fantastic! At work today we went outside and
        played basketball. Just as we were about out of time, I got the ball
        take the winning shot, but I missed. One of my teammates demanded to
        know why I had missed such an easy shot. "I sprained my ankle," I
        him. "That's a lame excuse," he replied.


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        Short Chips

        I was checking out at the busy Super Market, and the cashier was
        having problems. The register ran out of paper, the scanner
        malfunctioned, and finally the cashier spilled a handful of coins.
        When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22. Trying to soothe

        her nerves, I said, "That's a nice round figure." Still frazzled,
        glared at me and said, "You're no bean pole yourself."

        A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the
        attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, "I'll have
        waterloo." The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and

        asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the

        man next to him and says, "That looks great! I'll have what he's
        having, a waterloo." So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice

        cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls out, "HEY!
        isn't any good. It tastes just like water!" The regular bar patron
        sitting next to him says, "It is water, buddy. That's all I drink,"
        turns to the bartender and says, "Right Lou?"

        A tramp put the finger on a banker as he was coming out of his
        "How about buying me a coffee?" he asked. "Here," the banker said.
        "Here's $5.00. Go buy yourself several cups of coffee." The next
        as the banker was coming out of his office again, the same tramp
        up and punched him in the nose. Darn near knocked his lights out!!
        "Hey," yelled the banker, "is that any way to treat me after I gave

        you five dollars?" "You and your lousy cups of coffee you bought
        the tramp snarled, punching him in the nose again. "They kept me
        all night!"


        Fun Slides Carpet Skates

        Wherever there's carpet, blast off with Fun Slides. They let you
        have fun while getting exercise indoors. Because they're one size
        fits all and loved by kids of all ages, they make a great gift. Fun
        Slides come in six fun colors.

        Buy one pair and we'll throw in a second pair at no charge.

        View Web Version



        Chainsaw Chips

        A hillbilly is looking around a big hardware store
        when he sees a display of chain saws with a sign
        guaranteeing that this model of chain saw can cut
        twenty cords of firewood in a day. He motions to
        a salesman.

        'Can I help you, sir?'

        'This here chainsaw, kin it rully cut twenny cords o'wood in a day?'

        'Yes, sir, that's the guarantee. Twenty cords of wood or you get
        your money back.'

        'Yer joshin' me. Twenny cords o'farrwood? Ah don't blieve it!'

        'No, sir, it's true! Guaranteed.'

        'Wull, Ah'll trah one but ah still don't blieve it!'

        He buys the saw. He returns not the next day but the
        day after that. He seeks out the same salesman and
        confronts him with the slightly-used saw.
        You lahr!' he says, 'You lah laka dawg! You sayed
        this here chainsawr'd cut twenny cords o'wood in a
        day! I got up yestiddy at the crack o'dawn 'n'I cut
        'n' cut 'n' cut all day! I didn't stop till it wuz
        dork! 'N'I couldn't cut moren' six cords o'farrwood
        t'save mah lahf! Now whattya say about that?'

        The salesman looked perplexed. 'Gee,' he said, 'maybe
        you got a bad one. Let's try it.' He takes the saw,
        pumps the primer a few times, and pulls the cord to
        start it up.

        The hillbilly's eyes get wide with surprise. 'Gawd
        a-mighty!' he shouts, 'What's that racket?'


        The Tushee Comforter is the alternative to just placing a towel on
        any chair, bench, or pool lounger. It protects against dirt, sweat,
        and heat, while never falling off or blowing away. The Tushee forms
        a secure pocket over any seat and can be adjusted to any width or
        length to offer a soft comfortable seat. Relax and look stylish on a
        soft plush Velour surface that provides real comfort. Plus, the
        personalization makes it a pleasant surprise gift for him or her.

        Throw away those chair covers! Put down a TUSHEE. The multipurpose,
        adjustable, soft secure pocket that fits over any seat. Now you can
        add a soft, 100% cotton Terry Lounge Cover, to any seat for extra
        lounging comfort. Act now and take advantage of the Tushee 2X offer.



        Dog Chips

        Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis
        balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss.
        He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon,
        it was to be different. Trouser's owners were walking him along a
        trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man
        all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was
        gesturing annoyingly at Trouser's masters. This strange person spoke
        not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box
        and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on
        his masters' faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the
        situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this
        annoying pseudo clown's leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look
        in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue
        all over the ground in an effort to remove the man's foul essence
        from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that a mime is a terrible
        thing to taste.

        Stan Kegel


        Introducing the razor-sharp, feather-light ceramic slicing knife.
        Unlike steel knife blades, YoshiBlade stay razor sharp. In fact,
        this space-age material is so hard that professional chefs use
        ceramic to sharpen their steel knives.

        Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.

        As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.

        View Web Version



        LynnLynn's Links

        If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
        e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@...

        Subscribers and Friends

        Melva/The Joy Of Christmas

        Carolyn w/I Tan't Wait Till Quithmuth Day~ Mel Blanc

        John w/ Silent Night

        Amazing Grace


        Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

        Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
        impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
        seen in over 50 years.

        And here's everything they don't want you to know...



        Surfin Surfari

        Redneck Playstation via Wesley

        NOAA's National Weather Service - Graphical Forecast Via Dianne

        Ugly Christmas Lights

        Snowman Name


        Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
        have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
        especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
        because I think it's just the right thing to do.

        Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
        going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
        minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
        that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
        and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
        you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
        advantage of this:

        As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
        Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
        morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

        Press here to get your copy:



        Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)


        Guard Your Online Privacy With TrackerWatcher Firefox Addon Via

        French army sides with Mozilla in Microsoft email war Via Wesley


        Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
        on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or

        Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
        ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
        now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.

        PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate



        Animal World

        Doggie Zone Via Dianne

        Wild Macaws

        Winter Hummingbirds of Southwest Louisiana

        World of Birding


        We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
        documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
        you thought you could never get back.

        Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
        pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File

        You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
        analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
        documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
        you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
        other people have deleted from your computer.

        Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
        files you want to recover.

        Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:



        Here is some more information about this new way to watch

        1) All of the programming is uncensored!

        2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
        And new channels are added every day!

        3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
        And new stations are added daily!

        4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
        your PC and laptop!

        5) No additional hardware is needed!

        6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!

        Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:



        Movie Links

        The Mom Song

        Tolerant Cat

        Uncle Jay

        Walk-in Closet

        Who Needs Pockets


        Bee Chips

        Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how
        were going. "Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been

        really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I
        make any honey." "No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down
        blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's
        Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and
        fruit." "Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away.
        few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first
        asked, "How'd it go?""Great!" said the second bee. "It was
        you said it would be." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked
        first bee. "That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want

        them to think I was a wasp."


        Clean Windshields without Straining or Stretching

        Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that
        eliminates straining and stretching. It uses a 16" handle to help
        reach all the way down to the dash and base of your rear window.
        Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal.

        Get two for the price of one when you order today.

        Order now
        View Web Version



        Toon Chips

        Cloud Cyclone Graham 02

        Cloud Fire_Starter

        Cloud Melhorfotov2003

        Cloud Shark




        The Optic 1050 binoculars with up to 1000X magnification will allow
        you to see objects up to 35 miles away! They're great for
        vacationing, sporting events, bird watching, and more. These super
        lightweight binoculars include features such as:

        Wide-angle viewing
        Shatterproof lenses
        Soft rubber eye cups
        Comfort neck strap
        Center focusing wheel



        Christmas Chips

        Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
        They both drop their needles

        Why couldn't the butterfly go to the fancy Chistmas dance?
        It was a moth ball!

        Where does Santa go swimming?
        The North Pool!

        What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand?
        Sandy Claws

        I went to my friend's house recently and noticed that his Christmas
        tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top. I asked,
        "What's the deal, no decorations?" Puzzled, he looked at me and
        said, "What do you mean? It's a cartridge in a bare tree."

        Stan Kegel


        The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
        Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
        surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.

        Your package includes:
        Durable Base with built in catnip
        Cute, playful kitty toy
        Packet of catnip
        Bonus De-shedder

        Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
        Gift absolutely FREE!



        Parting Chips

        Customer: "My computer crashed!"

        Tech Support: "It crashed?"

        Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."

        Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."

        Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."

        Tech Support: "Huh?"

        Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed
        Spaceship and now it doesn't work."

        Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"

        Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"


        Stop your Back Pain!
        Backjoy will change the way you sit and change your life

        FREE * 30-day trial
        Bonus Free travel satchel PLUS stretch & strengthen DVD with order

        Backjoy is lightweight and portable
        -Perfect for people who sit on the job
        -Good for sporting events
        -Patent-pending ergonomic design
        -Works on any chair
        -Lifetime Warranty!

        Relieves Symptoms associated with
        Neck, Shoulder & Back Pain,
        Spinal Injury, Chronic Sciatica, and Pinched Nerves
        Bulging & Slipped Discs and Muscle Soreness
        Pregnancy too!



        Bonus Chip

        Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks
        while gambling, the big, high- class casinos are now equipped with
        sophisticated defibrillators.

        They are computer controlled to deliver the exact electric shock
        needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you're at a big,
        high-class casino.

        At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the
        carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.



        The SlipOver - Dual Sided Slipcover - As Seen on TV

        Make your old, ugly beat-up sofa look BRAND NEW
        With Slipover, the Only Reversible Slipcover!
        Get 2 Matching Reversible Pillow Covers FREE*
        Plus a FREE* Add-On Organizer- so you will never lose your remote

        One-piece universal fit
        Comfy, cozy fabric
        Machine washable, won't shrink or fade
        Patent-pending design
        Easy care fabric that's stain resistant!



        Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady

        Katie's Komfort Kolumn
        Vol 1736

        Dancing With Wolfstien

        After a day of being cooped up in the house for the dogs, they are
        ready to play. After a day of working at the office dad is ready
        to take
        it easy... something must give... Dad has to give. It is like
        coming home
        to three four year olds high on caffeine.

        BJ gets out of his car, Diana opens the house door and three dogs

        BJ: Hi guys...!

        Katie: FATHER!!!

        As she leaps forward and crashes into BJ sending BJ backwards...

        BJ: Hey slow down there girl.

        Katie: Sorry father, but I am just so excited...

        Then Rudy who is three times the size of Katie comes barreling in.


        BJ: Gasp!! Down Rudy... Down!

        Rudy: Aw shucks Dad...

        BJ: You called me Dad...

        Rudy: Did not..

        Sandi: Hi Daddy! (As she jumps up almost to eye level), Let's play.

        BJ: How can I not. Let's go running around the yard!


        Diana watches from the door as the four kids go playing... BJ throws
        a stick, the dogs chase it, then chase BJ,,, BJ chases the dog..and
        and on it goes.

        The herd in Guthrie

        (as bad as it is to leave the dogs in the morning, it is pure Heaven
        come home at night)


        Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


        Remember 9/11/01

        Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

        In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

        William Brabant
        711 Pine Street Apt.1
        Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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