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Clean Chips For Fri

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  • william brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Seems the last thing we did last summer was replace
    Message 1 of 342 , Jun 1, 2007
      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      Seems the last thing we did last summer was replace a cracked sliding
      storm window in my bedroom and in the process we had to remove the
      screen. Well with temperatures in the 80's I just opened the window up
      and let the air in. Mosquitoes are light at the moment and my bedroom
      window is at least an 8 foot drop to the ground so I wasn't worried
      about anyone entering that way. Then yesterday said she was having
      trouble keeping Dini the black cat in the house. It would claw at her
      window to come in and after she let it in it would be back an hour later.
      I told her it wasn't going through my window because the drop was too
      great. Well last night I was in bed giving Woogie some treats and I felt
      something jump up on the bed and onto the window sill. In the moonlight I
      saw Dini and in a second she dived to the ground. Well this morning I
      decided to put the screen in and also the box fan I use for cooling during
      the summer ( Yooper Air Conditioning ). I wrestled the mattress around
      so I could get the cord for the fan under the bed and then came out and
      finished today's mail . This evening I went in to watch the Tigers get
      slaughtered and I couldn't find the remote. I pulled the bed out several
      looked through shelves and drawers, checked clothes on floor ( It was only
      a few days worth) checked the comforter and pillows twice and then got
      Buffy to search the same area and still nothing. Sandy saw me carrying
      laundry out and offered to change the bedding and when she did I picked up
      the mattress to flip it and there in between the mattress and the box spring
      was the missing remote. They must be affected by the same force that hides
      socks in places we never look. Anyhow while I was on the phone with
      my mom discussing the missing remote she suggested hanging the remote
      from the headboard in a pair of worn out panty hose. I suppose you
      would only use one leg unless you also have a vcr, etc. heh heh.

      Enjoy the chips.... buffalo


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      50+ Chips

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      Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
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      Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?
      A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

      Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory
      A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

      Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
      A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

      Q: Where do 50+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
      A: Their foreheads.

      Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter
      antique stores?
      A: "I remember these".

      Mary Jane


      Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

      Chicken Nuggets
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      Chainsaw Suicide
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      Swiss Army Phone 2004...
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      And You Operated On Me?
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      Short Chips

      One weekend my friend, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old
      nephew when he fell off a playground slide and hit his head.

      Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night.
      Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?" Soon,
      he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room.

      When Sally went in at 5:00 A.M., she found something white on his
      forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to
      his forehead, "My name is Daniel."

      Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided
      to meet for lunch. The talk naturally got around to their respective
      love lives. Marcy confided that there really wasn't anyone special
      in her life.

      Heather, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found.

      "He's perfect. He's handsome, and last night when we went out to
      dinner, he said the four little words I've been waiting to hear a man
      say to me!"

      "He said 'will you marry me'?" Marcy asked.

      Heather replied, "No, he said 'put your money away'


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      Sauce Chips

      Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was

      giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti
      sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about
      but it was too late to cook up another batch.

      She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They
      advised Becky to boil the sauce again.

      That night, the phone rang during dinner, and one of the

      guests volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest

      "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti
      turned out."


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      Blonde Chips

      Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
      A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

      Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
      A: They're both empty from the neck up.

      Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?
      A: Wave

      Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?
      A: They both have black roots.

      Q: What does a blonde owl say?
      A: What, what?

      Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
      A: Two brunettes.

      Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
      A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde,
      blonde, yea yea yea..."

      Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
      A: To see what was on the other side.

      Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
      A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".

      Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
      A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

      Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
      A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

      Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
      A: So she could lip read.

      Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
      A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

      Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
      A: To turn the blinker off.

      Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
      A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

      Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
      A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around

      Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw
      puzzle in
      only 6 months?
      A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

      Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
      A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.

      Q: Why does it work?
      A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"

      Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
      A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

      Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
      A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.

      Q: Did you hear about the blond skydiver?
      A: She missed the Earth!

      Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
      A: The vegetable garden.

      Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
      A: One.

      Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
      A: Far-from-thinkin

      Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
      A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.

      Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
      A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.

      Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
      A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"

      Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
      A: Spot.

      Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group?
      A: Air Supply.

      Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
      A: A blond electrician.

      Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
      A: So brunettes can remember them.

      Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
      A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

      Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
      A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

      Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
      A: Perri-air

      Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
      A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

      Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
      A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

      Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
      A: The Air Pump!


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      Drive Thru Chips

      Haven't you ever had the urge to loose control when ordering
      that burrito or burger and drink combo?

      1. Ask for last months specials.

      2. Place your order in three different languages if you
      don't know any, make them up.

      3. When they repeat your order totally change it. Repeat as desired.

      4. Order a whopper from McDonalds, when they say they
      don't have whoppers insist that they do. If they still argue demand
      to see a manager then when you talk to them order a normal meal
      and say i don't know what's up with kids these days.

      5. Go to any burger joint and order Chinese.

      6. When ordering in the drive through, ask if its happy hour on draft

      7. In summer turn stereo up full volume to Christmas music while
      ordering in drive through.

      8. Drive in the drive through, park, then go inside and order.

      9. Go through the drive through in reverse, again.

      10. Wait for the busiest time of day, after paying get out of car, get
      jack out of trunk and proceed to rotate tires.

      11. Check oil in drive through, possibly touch up the windscreen
      with some glass cleaner.

      12. Walk up to drive through window with hands in the air like
      your holding onto a steering wheel.

      13. Go through drive through and ask for directions to the place you're

      14. Go through drive through naked, excluding the rabbit slippers of

      15. Go inside and ask in a load voice if they got rid of the Ebola
      problems they've been having

      16. Argue with your passenger (that's not there) and continue until you

      17. When they ask if that will be all tell them to hold on, your
      dog won't make up his mind.

      18. After eating half your meal return it and say you got the
      wrong thing and ask for a refund.

      19. As you're pulling away and they say "Have a nice day!" (with
      that retarded smile) put the car in reverse and ask them what the
      hell that's supposed to mean.

      20. Order something from one fast food place then go to another
      drive through when they give you your food take one bite and say
      "No thank you, this tastes better (pointing to bag from other place),
      may I have my money back."

      21. Play name that tune with person taking the order.

      22. Pretend your deaf and order in sign language.

      23. Go through Taco Bell order the 7 layer burrito. When they
      repeat your order ask if each layer of the burrito is sold separately.

      24. When they ask how you are today proceed by telling them about
      your diarrhea problems, most likely due to the burger you bought from
      them yesterday and the day before that.

      25. Go through a drive through after they tell you to pull to the window
      drive past it and go inside to get your order.


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      Texas Chips

      A blind man vists the state of Texas

      There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
      When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said,
      "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered,
      "Everything is big in Texas."

      When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.
      Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug
      placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs
      are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

      After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender
      where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied,
      "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the
      bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the
      second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead
      to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

      Scared to death, the blind man started shouting,
      "Don't flush, don't flush!"


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      Todd Henry Band

      What American accent do you have?


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      Animal World

      Doggie Zone

      Kitty Korner

      Hyacinth w/Cat Poem


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      Unskilled Labor

      Jump Care


      Border Patrol


      Short Chips

      A preacher noticed one day that, as he was preaching, a man in the
      back of the auditorium was slumped over a little. Thinking he was
      asleep, the preacher asked the deacon to go wake him up.

      The deacon gave the man a little nudge, but he kept on sleeping. He
      bumped him a little harder and the man kept on sleeping. Frustrated,
      the deacon took a hymn book and smacked him in the head, knocking the
      man out of his chair and on to the floor.

      The deacon was shocked that the man didn't open his eyes. Concerned,
      he got down on the floor to see if the man was breathing, and the man
      said, "Hit me harder, I can still hear him."

      A new senate page was reporting for duty on Capitol Hill in
      Washington. The department head who was giving him his instructions
      said, "And another thing. You must remember the telephone number
      here. IF you are ever calling in from an outside line you must dial
      Capitol 4-3121."

      Then, noticing the puzzled look on the page's face, he said, "What's
      the matter? You look as though you don't understand."

      "Oh, nothing's the matter," the page said. "I just don't know how to
      dial a capital four!"


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      Toon Chips

      Happy Paw
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      Love Shop
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      Lovers Lane
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      Your Piercing
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      Short Chips

      After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man
      fell asleep and spent the night in the chair. His wife woke him in
      the morning.

      "It's twenty to seven," she called.

      "In whose favor?"

      Little Susie, a six-year-old, came home from school whining, "Mommy,
      I've got a stomachache."

      "That's because your stomach is empty," her mother replied. "You'd
      feel better if you had something in it." She gave Susie a snack and
      sure enough, Susie felt better right away.

      That afternoon, the family's minister dropped b and. while he was
      chatting with Susie's mom, he mentioned he'd had a bad headache all
      day long.

      Susie perked up. "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel
      better if you had something in it."


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      Parting Chips

      Hey Buff,
      I just heard today that Dale Jr. wants to drive for Michael Waltrip's
      team next year so he can have every Sunday off.


      As the woman was instructing the new maid on the great care required
      in handling certain valuable household objects. She pointed to the
      dining room and said with obvious satisfaction,
      "That table goes back to Louis the Fourteenth."

      "Oh, that's nothing," the maid interjected. "My whole living-room
      set goes back to Sears the fifteenth."


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      Bonus Chip

      A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, I haven't had a bowel
      movement in a week!" The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative
      and tells him, "If it doesn't work, let me know."

      A week later the guy is back: "Doc, still no movement!"

      The doctor says, "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a
      powerful laxative.

      Still another week later the poor guy is back: "Doc, STILL nothing!"

      The doctor, worried, says, "We'd better get some more information about you
      to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?"

      "I'm a musician."

      The doctor looks up and says, "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get
      something to eat!"


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      Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady

      Katie's Komfort Kolumn
      Vol 992

      How Much is That Doggie in the Window?

      Ginger: Here doggie doggie doggie. Here doggie doggie doggie.

      Rudy: Ah, Ginger, that ain't no doggie.

      Ginger: Is isn't a dog?

      Rudy: No, it is not a dog.

      Sandi: Step back towards us very slowly Ginger.

      Ginger: Yes mother. What is it then?

      Sandi: It is a grizzley bear.

      Ginger: Are they a problem?

      Katie: Ack! A bear!! Run for your life!!
      Flee! Zoom!

      Ginger: I understand now. Zoom!

      Sandi... Lope lope lope


      Bear: ROAR!!!

      back at the camp:

      Tami: Sigh this is such a beautiful day!

      Rob: I am glad to see you snap out of it Tami.

      Tami: Yes, I was getting a bit excessive with my
      behavior. I am okay now. What could go wrong?


      Rob: There goes Katie.


      Tami: There goes Rudy.


      Rob: There goes Sandi.

      Lope, Lope Lope!

      Tami: There goes Ginger.


      Tami: Ack! Here comes a grizzly bear!

      Rob: Did you bring a rifle?

      Tami: I have one that Katie gave me.

      Tami aims and pulls the trigger and a little flag
      comes out the end of the barrel that says... BANG!

      Rob: That will do no good, run for the RV.

      Tami: The doors locked...Bang bang bang!

      Katie: Who is it?

      Tami: It is me Tami!!

      Katie: I need photo ID, drivers license, birth certificate....

      Rob: Let me in Katie!

      Katie: Oh sure Rob, come on in.

      Rob gets right in and the door gets slammed.

      Bang bang bang!

      Tami: Let me in!

      Katie: ID please!

      To be continued


      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


      Remember 9/11/01

      Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

      In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

      William Brabant
      711 Pine Street Apt.1
      Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
    • William Brabant
      Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Hello, Everyone. After a week of worrying and
      Message 342 of 342 , Dec 11, 2009
        Clean Clean

        Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
        name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

        Hello, Everyone.

        After a week of worrying and trying to get Yahoo's servers to
        work properly, their engineers have reestablished service to
        all of the readers of the chips It is easy to point at a problem
        and ask to have it fixed, it is another thing to find it in a jungle
        of servers with a 100 million users. As a personal point it
        made me feel good to see all of you actually notice that I wasn't
        arriving every morning.

        I have a doctor's appointment this morning and he probably isn't
        happy with me. It has been about 75 days since I was in their last
        and he wanted to see me after 6 weeks which was a stretch even

        Yep he was unhappy and is dreaming up all sorts of tests to put me
        through including that miserable chemical stress test again and this

        is all over the minute amount of blood in my urine. I lose less that
        than from all the blood test they take over a year but they never
        about that and judging by the number of checks on the lab order
        for next Monday they will probably will be taking a pint or so heh
        Then I am scheduled for an ultrasound of my kidneys right before
        Christmas which isn't bad and then an IVP after that. If I remember
        correctly you had to drink a couple bottles of Yuck before that one
        and then a trip through the cat scan. I feel better than I have
        the plant closure and that's what worries me. When I was in the Navy
        they converted from black oil to something similar to fuel oil. It
        less lubricating ability than the old stuff and the fuel pumps
        several times a year except for one. It had run for five years
        failure and when we went into overhaul we had to tear it down for an

        inspection. When they opened the pump the bearings fell apart and
        the pump had to be replaced. Sometimes I feel like if they do too
        much poking and prodding I might fall apart too.

        Enjoy the chips... buffalo


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        Medicine Chips

        The Top Signs It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet

        [From Ruminations Top Five]

        "For refill, ring KLondike 6-4-3."

        The leeches look like they might have turned.

        Funny, you don't *remember* being prescribed mouse turds.

        The dim glow from the bathroom is keeping you awake --
        but you don't have a night-light.

        A tiny cockroach rehab clinic has been set up between
        the aftershave and the aspirin.

        Why keep that Preparation H? It was the worst-tasting toothpaste

        The drill bit you use to let the "bad ayre" out of your
        skull can't be sharpened.

        Your nosy neighbors leave the bathroom saying, "Don't
        touch me."

        The Brylcream can go -- the last time you ran your
        fingers through your hair was when you cleaned out the drain.

        There's a skeleton on the other side with a note saying,
        "Hi, Guy!"

        and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine

        Was there ever really a "Preparation A?"


        Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

        Which Christmas Song Are You?

        Boxhead Zombie Wars

        Dreams: A Difference Adventure


        School Chips

        School Best Sellers

        Walking To School The First Day Back - by Misty Bus

        The Day The Car Pool Forgot Me - by I. Rhoda Bike

        Can't See The Chalkboard - by Sidney Backrow

        Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School - by Major

        What I Dislike About Returning To School - by Mona Lott

        Making It Through The First Week Of School - by Gladys Saturday

        Is Life Over When Summer Ends? - by Midas Welbee

        What I Love About Returning To School - by I.M. Kidding

        Will Jimmy Finally Graduate? - by I. Betty Wont

        What Happens When You Get Caught Skipping School - by U. Will


        Get Strong, Sculpted Arms and Shoulders

        The Shake Weight is the revolutionary new way to shape and tone your
        arms, and it is designed specifically for women. Scientific studies
        prove that the Shake Weight increases upper body muscle activity by
        more than 300% compared to traditional weights.

        Additional Ordering Details:



        Short Chips

        The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
        "There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning," he
        snapped. "Wouldn't it be better to hear one at a time?"

        Little Johnny shouted, "Okay---you start."


        Then there was the blonde who had trouble filling out a job
        Where it said, "Married," she wrote "twice"; where it said,
        "Children," she wrote, "No, both were men." ......


        The weather today was fantastic! At work today we went outside and
        played basketball. Just as we were about out of time, I got the ball
        take the winning shot, but I missed. One of my teammates demanded to
        know why I had missed such an easy shot. "I sprained my ankle," I
        him. "That's a lame excuse," he replied.


        Dazzle Friends and Amaze Family with Himalayan Chinese Flower Tea!
        The Tea Bud Blooms into a Beautiful Flower when hot water is poured
        over it.
        Everyone Loves to Watch the Tea Bud Bloom!
        Guaranteed the Most Beautiful and Delicious Tea you will ever serve.

        Great Gift for Family & Friends
        Perfect for Parties, Children's Celebrations, and Holiday
        Festivities 100% Customer Satisfaction!

        Complete Tea Set
        Gorgeous Glass Teapot
        8 Himalayan Chinese Flower Tea Buds
        Membership in tea club
        Bonus 2 FREE cool to the touch Tea Cups



        Short Chips

        I was checking out at the busy Super Market, and the cashier was
        having problems. The register ran out of paper, the scanner
        malfunctioned, and finally the cashier spilled a handful of coins.
        When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22. Trying to soothe

        her nerves, I said, "That's a nice round figure." Still frazzled,
        glared at me and said, "You're no bean pole yourself."

        A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the
        attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, "I'll have
        waterloo." The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and

        asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the

        man next to him and says, "That looks great! I'll have what he's
        having, a waterloo." So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice

        cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls out, "HEY!
        isn't any good. It tastes just like water!" The regular bar patron
        sitting next to him says, "It is water, buddy. That's all I drink,"
        turns to the bartender and says, "Right Lou?"

        A tramp put the finger on a banker as he was coming out of his
        "How about buying me a coffee?" he asked. "Here," the banker said.
        "Here's $5.00. Go buy yourself several cups of coffee." The next
        as the banker was coming out of his office again, the same tramp
        up and punched him in the nose. Darn near knocked his lights out!!
        "Hey," yelled the banker, "is that any way to treat me after I gave

        you five dollars?" "You and your lousy cups of coffee you bought
        the tramp snarled, punching him in the nose again. "They kept me
        all night!"


        Fun Slides Carpet Skates

        Wherever there's carpet, blast off with Fun Slides. They let you
        have fun while getting exercise indoors. Because they're one size
        fits all and loved by kids of all ages, they make a great gift. Fun
        Slides come in six fun colors.

        Buy one pair and we'll throw in a second pair at no charge.

        View Web Version



        Chainsaw Chips

        A hillbilly is looking around a big hardware store
        when he sees a display of chain saws with a sign
        guaranteeing that this model of chain saw can cut
        twenty cords of firewood in a day. He motions to
        a salesman.

        'Can I help you, sir?'

        'This here chainsaw, kin it rully cut twenny cords o'wood in a day?'

        'Yes, sir, that's the guarantee. Twenty cords of wood or you get
        your money back.'

        'Yer joshin' me. Twenny cords o'farrwood? Ah don't blieve it!'

        'No, sir, it's true! Guaranteed.'

        'Wull, Ah'll trah one but ah still don't blieve it!'

        He buys the saw. He returns not the next day but the
        day after that. He seeks out the same salesman and
        confronts him with the slightly-used saw.
        You lahr!' he says, 'You lah laka dawg! You sayed
        this here chainsawr'd cut twenny cords o'wood in a
        day! I got up yestiddy at the crack o'dawn 'n'I cut
        'n' cut 'n' cut all day! I didn't stop till it wuz
        dork! 'N'I couldn't cut moren' six cords o'farrwood
        t'save mah lahf! Now whattya say about that?'

        The salesman looked perplexed. 'Gee,' he said, 'maybe
        you got a bad one. Let's try it.' He takes the saw,
        pumps the primer a few times, and pulls the cord to
        start it up.

        The hillbilly's eyes get wide with surprise. 'Gawd
        a-mighty!' he shouts, 'What's that racket?'


        The Tushee Comforter is the alternative to just placing a towel on
        any chair, bench, or pool lounger. It protects against dirt, sweat,
        and heat, while never falling off or blowing away. The Tushee forms
        a secure pocket over any seat and can be adjusted to any width or
        length to offer a soft comfortable seat. Relax and look stylish on a
        soft plush Velour surface that provides real comfort. Plus, the
        personalization makes it a pleasant surprise gift for him or her.

        Throw away those chair covers! Put down a TUSHEE. The multipurpose,
        adjustable, soft secure pocket that fits over any seat. Now you can
        add a soft, 100% cotton Terry Lounge Cover, to any seat for extra
        lounging comfort. Act now and take advantage of the Tushee 2X offer.



        Dog Chips

        Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis
        balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss.
        He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon,
        it was to be different. Trouser's owners were walking him along a
        trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man
        all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was
        gesturing annoyingly at Trouser's masters. This strange person spoke
        not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box
        and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on
        his masters' faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the
        situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this
        annoying pseudo clown's leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look
        in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue
        all over the ground in an effort to remove the man's foul essence
        from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that a mime is a terrible
        thing to taste.

        Stan Kegel


        Introducing the razor-sharp, feather-light ceramic slicing knife.
        Unlike steel knife blades, YoshiBlade stay razor sharp. In fact,
        this space-age material is so hard that professional chefs use
        ceramic to sharpen their steel knives.

        Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.

        As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.

        View Web Version



        LynnLynn's Links

        If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
        e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@...

        Subscribers and Friends

        Melva/The Joy Of Christmas

        Carolyn w/I Tan't Wait Till Quithmuth Day~ Mel Blanc

        John w/ Silent Night

        Amazing Grace


        Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

        Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
        impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
        seen in over 50 years.

        And here's everything they don't want you to know...



        Surfin Surfari

        Redneck Playstation via Wesley

        NOAA's National Weather Service - Graphical Forecast Via Dianne

        Ugly Christmas Lights

        Snowman Name


        Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
        have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
        especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
        because I think it's just the right thing to do.

        Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
        going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
        minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
        that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
        and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
        you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
        advantage of this:

        As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
        Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
        morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

        Press here to get your copy:



        Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)


        Guard Your Online Privacy With TrackerWatcher Firefox Addon Via

        French army sides with Mozilla in Microsoft email war Via Wesley


        Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
        on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or

        Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
        ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
        now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.

        PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate



        Animal World

        Doggie Zone Via Dianne

        Wild Macaws

        Winter Hummingbirds of Southwest Louisiana

        World of Birding


        We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
        documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
        you thought you could never get back.

        Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
        pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File

        You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
        analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
        documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
        you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
        other people have deleted from your computer.

        Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
        files you want to recover.

        Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:



        Here is some more information about this new way to watch

        1) All of the programming is uncensored!

        2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
        And new channels are added every day!

        3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
        And new stations are added daily!

        4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
        your PC and laptop!

        5) No additional hardware is needed!

        6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!

        Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:



        Movie Links

        The Mom Song

        Tolerant Cat

        Uncle Jay

        Walk-in Closet

        Who Needs Pockets


        Bee Chips

        Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how
        were going. "Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been

        really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I
        make any honey." "No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down
        blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's
        Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and
        fruit." "Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away.
        few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first
        asked, "How'd it go?""Great!" said the second bee. "It was
        you said it would be." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked
        first bee. "That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want

        them to think I was a wasp."


        Clean Windshields without Straining or Stretching

        Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that
        eliminates straining and stretching. It uses a 16" handle to help
        reach all the way down to the dash and base of your rear window.
        Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal.

        Get two for the price of one when you order today.

        Order now
        View Web Version



        Toon Chips

        Cloud Cyclone Graham 02

        Cloud Fire_Starter

        Cloud Melhorfotov2003

        Cloud Shark




        The Optic 1050 binoculars with up to 1000X magnification will allow
        you to see objects up to 35 miles away! They're great for
        vacationing, sporting events, bird watching, and more. These super
        lightweight binoculars include features such as:

        Wide-angle viewing
        Shatterproof lenses
        Soft rubber eye cups
        Comfort neck strap
        Center focusing wheel



        Christmas Chips

        Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
        They both drop their needles

        Why couldn't the butterfly go to the fancy Chistmas dance?
        It was a moth ball!

        Where does Santa go swimming?
        The North Pool!

        What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand?
        Sandy Claws

        I went to my friend's house recently and noticed that his Christmas
        tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top. I asked,
        "What's the deal, no decorations?" Puzzled, he looked at me and
        said, "What do you mean? It's a cartridge in a bare tree."

        Stan Kegel


        The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
        Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
        surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.

        Your package includes:
        Durable Base with built in catnip
        Cute, playful kitty toy
        Packet of catnip
        Bonus De-shedder

        Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
        Gift absolutely FREE!



        Parting Chips

        Customer: "My computer crashed!"

        Tech Support: "It crashed?"

        Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."

        Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."

        Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."

        Tech Support: "Huh?"

        Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed
        Spaceship and now it doesn't work."

        Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"

        Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"


        Stop your Back Pain!
        Backjoy will change the way you sit and change your life

        FREE * 30-day trial
        Bonus Free travel satchel PLUS stretch & strengthen DVD with order

        Backjoy is lightweight and portable
        -Perfect for people who sit on the job
        -Good for sporting events
        -Patent-pending ergonomic design
        -Works on any chair
        -Lifetime Warranty!

        Relieves Symptoms associated with
        Neck, Shoulder & Back Pain,
        Spinal Injury, Chronic Sciatica, and Pinched Nerves
        Bulging & Slipped Discs and Muscle Soreness
        Pregnancy too!



        Bonus Chip

        Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks
        while gambling, the big, high- class casinos are now equipped with
        sophisticated defibrillators.

        They are computer controlled to deliver the exact electric shock
        needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you're at a big,
        high-class casino.

        At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the
        carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.



        The SlipOver - Dual Sided Slipcover - As Seen on TV

        Make your old, ugly beat-up sofa look BRAND NEW
        With Slipover, the Only Reversible Slipcover!
        Get 2 Matching Reversible Pillow Covers FREE*
        Plus a FREE* Add-On Organizer- so you will never lose your remote

        One-piece universal fit
        Comfy, cozy fabric
        Machine washable, won't shrink or fade
        Patent-pending design
        Easy care fabric that's stain resistant!



        Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady

        Katie's Komfort Kolumn
        Vol 1736

        Dancing With Wolfstien

        After a day of being cooped up in the house for the dogs, they are
        ready to play. After a day of working at the office dad is ready
        to take
        it easy... something must give... Dad has to give. It is like
        coming home
        to three four year olds high on caffeine.

        BJ gets out of his car, Diana opens the house door and three dogs

        BJ: Hi guys...!

        Katie: FATHER!!!

        As she leaps forward and crashes into BJ sending BJ backwards...

        BJ: Hey slow down there girl.

        Katie: Sorry father, but I am just so excited...

        Then Rudy who is three times the size of Katie comes barreling in.


        BJ: Gasp!! Down Rudy... Down!

        Rudy: Aw shucks Dad...

        BJ: You called me Dad...

        Rudy: Did not..

        Sandi: Hi Daddy! (As she jumps up almost to eye level), Let's play.

        BJ: How can I not. Let's go running around the yard!


        Diana watches from the door as the four kids go playing... BJ throws
        a stick, the dogs chase it, then chase BJ,,, BJ chases the dog..and
        and on it goes.

        The herd in Guthrie

        (as bad as it is to leave the dogs in the morning, it is pure Heaven
        come home at night)


        Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


        Remember 9/11/01

        Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

        In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

        William Brabant
        711 Pine Street Apt.1
        Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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