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Clean Chips For Fri

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  • william brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. It is the first of September and 10 days from now
    Message 1 of 342 , Sep 1, 2006
    • 0 Attachment
      Clean Clean
      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      It is the first of September and 10 days from now we will be
      remembering the events of 9-11-01. I would like to do
      something special for the 5th anniversary of this terrorist
      attack but I am at a loss as to what I should ask you the
      reader to contribute to the issue. If you have an idea what you
      would like to see please contact me this weekend and we will
      try to work out something appropriate in the time remaining.

      From the local newspaper

      SAULT STE. MARIE - Five letters formulating an unpleasant message were
      scratched into the paint of a vehicle parked sometime between 6 p.m. Friday
      and 11:30 a.m. Saturday. Damage was estimated at $1,000 in this incident.

      The owner of the vehicle did not have any solid leads speculating that
      perhaps
      a former husband could have been involved.

      buffalo says I guess he should have chosen a word he had never used during
      their break-up heh heh .




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      Retired Chips
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      Why You'll Like Retirement

      Question: How many days in a week?
      Answer: 6 Saturdays and 1 Sunday.

      Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
      Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

      Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
      Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

      Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
      Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

      Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
      Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

      Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
      Answer: Tied shoes.

      Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
      Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

      Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to
      retire?
      Answer: NUTS! (I CAN RELATE TO THAT!)

      Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or
      garage?
      Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will
      want to store stuff there.

      Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
      Answer: Normal.

      Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
      Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

      Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
      Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

      Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the
      people he used to work with?
      Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth. (THERE IS A LOT OF TRUTH
      TO THAT!)


      Randy


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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      Oil Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Changing OIL

      Oil Change instructions for Women:

      1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last
      oil change.
      2) Drink a cup of coffee.
      3) 15 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained
      vehicle.

      Money spent: Oil Change $20.00 Coffee $1.00 Total $21.00


      Oil Change instructions for Men:

      1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
      filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for
      $50.00.
      2) Stop by liquor store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00,
      drive home.
      3) Open a beer and drink it.
      4) Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. Jack car up.
      5) Find jack stands under kids pedal car.
      6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
      7) Place drain pan under engine.
      8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
      9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
      10) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in
      process. Cuss.
      11) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms.
      12) Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
      13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
      14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
      15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and
      twist off.
      16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
      everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can
      to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
      17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil
      change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work.
      18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan
      full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back
      yard instead of taking it to recycle.
      19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
      20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
      21) Walk to liquor store; buy beer.
      22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket
      surface.
      23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
      24) Remember drain plug from step 10.
      25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
      26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along
      with drain plug.
      27) Drink beer.
      28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch
      of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower
      gas.
      29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty
      litter on oil spill.
      30) Drink beer.
      31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag
      used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain
      plug and bang knuckles on frame.
      32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
      33) Begin cussing fit.
      34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
      35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992)
      in the left boob.
      36) Beer.
      37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
      38) Beer.
      39) Beer.
      40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
      41) Beer.
      42) Lower car from jack stands.
      43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
      44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
      steps 23 - 43.
      45) Beer.
      46) Test drive car.
      47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
      48) Car gets impounded.
      49) Call loving wife, make bail.
      50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

      Money spent: Parts $50.00 DUI $2500.00 Impound fee $75.00 Bail $1500.00
      Beer $40.00 Total-- $4165.00

      But, you have the satisfaction of knowing the job was done right...




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      Flying Chips
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      It was a really nice day, right about dusk, and a Piper Malibu was being
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      KC Approach: "Delta 105, your traffic to follow is a Malibu, eleven
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      Jesus Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      A minister was giving the children's message during church. For this
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      give a brief lesson before dismissing them.

      On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson
      on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to
      describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what
      it is." The children nodded eagerly.

      "This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands
      went up. "And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)..."
      The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised.
      "And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its
      tail when it's excited (pause)..."

      Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand. The minister
      breathed a sigh of relief and called on him.

      "Well," said the boy, "I know the answer you're looking for is supposed
      to be 'Jesus' ... but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."



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      Mozart Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle
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      The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, "Ah,
      Mozart. You're so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting
      on the No. 5 bus going to Coney Island."

      There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was
      mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, "We're leaving right now.
      Get your coat and let's get out of here."

      As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally
      his wife turned to him. "You're angry about something."

      "Oh really? You noticed?" he sneered. "I've never been so embarrassed in
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      Short Chips
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      The sermon had been going on too long, and the Minister
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      "How about 'Amen' Preacher?" said a hungry soul from the
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      ~~~

      The teacher was standing outside her room as the children entered one
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      "Why, little Maury," smiled the teacher. "Are you winking at me?" "No
      ma'am, just got my turn signal on," little Maury replied, making a neat
      left turn into his room.

      ~~~~



      Little Maury was telling Auntie MrsPerfesser, "Everyone in the Biology
      class voted against dissecting the frog - but we almost had enough votes
      to dissect the teacher."


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      Relation Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Important Rules.....

      Always remember the following when asking a man to do something: Make
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      Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage with the
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      Toon Chips
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      Frog Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink.
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      something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

      "You have a deal, my friend," says the bartender.
      T
      he guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the
      hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the side of
      the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the keyboard and starts
      playing Gershwin music. The hamster can really play...

      "You're right... I've never seen anything like that before," says the
      bartender. "That hamster is really gifted."

      The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another. "Will that
      be cash or another miracle, pal?" asks the bartender.

      "Watch this," replies the guy. Again, he reaches into his coat again and
      pulls out a frog. He puts the frog onto the bar, and the frog starts to
      sing. The frog has a marvellous voice and great pitch. A fine singer.

      A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers
      him $300 for the frog.

      "It's a deal," says the guy. He takes the three hundred and gives the
      stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar.

      "Are you some kind of nut?" asks the bartender. "You sold a singing frog
      for $300? It could have been worth millions. You must be crazy."

      "Not so," says the guy. "The hamster is a ventriloquist"!


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      Parting Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
      Caller: Hi, is this the police?
      Dispatcher: This is 911. Do you need police assistance?
      Caller: Well, I don't know who to call. Can you tell me how to cook a
      turkey? I've never cooked one before.

      Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What is the nature of your emergency?
      Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an
      eleven on it.
      Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
      Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
      Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
      Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

      Dispatcher: Nine-one-one What's the nature of your emergency?
      Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes
      apart.
      Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
      Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband

      Dispatcher: Nine-one-one
      Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
      Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.
      Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
      Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster. Damn......
      Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
      Caller: No
      Dispatcher: What where you doing before you started having trouble
      breathing?
      Caller: Running from the police.




      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Do you like to go out for dinner? Well, here's your chance to eat at
      your favorite restaurant without paying a dime!

      Become a Secret Food Critic and dine out on us. Visit restaurants in
      your area and rate your experience. You eat. You rate. We pay!!

      Here's the website you need to visit

      http://buffalosjokes.com/sfc





      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Bonus Chip
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      The office Mac fan posted:

      "Being a Mac user is like being a Navy seal: a small, elite group of
      people with access to the most sophisticated technology in the world,
      who everyone calls on to get the really tough jobs done quickly and
      efficiently."

      The office PC disciple responded

      "Being a Mac user is like being a seal a shrinking, endangered group of
      animals that bark very loudly but are harmless, who are economically
      valued only when they are dead."


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Which Burger's better?
      McDonalds(R) or Burger King(R)

      McDonalds(R)

      http://buffalosjokes.com/mcbk

      or

      Burger King(R)

      http://buffalosjokes.com/mcbk


      Take our survey GET $10
      (upon completion of program requirements)



      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Katie's Komfort Kolumn
      Vol 742

      Headin' Out

      BJ: Okay are we ready?

      Diana: Yeah, let's go.

      Rudy: Everything is packed.

      Katie is sitting with earphones on and is jamming to
      her latest CD. The RV starts up and off they go.
      About 10 miles out of town....

      Ring ring!

      BJ: It is my cell phone.
      Hello!

      Sandi: Oh hello Father.

      BJ: Where are you?

      Sandi: I am at home. I fell asleep on your bed. I just
      woke up.

      SCREECH!!!

      A few minutes later.

      Sandi: Sorry mom, dad.

      BJ: That's okay, just get on board.

      Rudy: I gotta go pee.

      Katie: Me to.

      Diana: While we are stopped, I might as well go to.

      BJ: Arrrgh!

      A few minutes later and down the road.

      Ring ring!

      BJ: Hello!

      Rudy: Hi pops!

      SCREECH!!

      The Herd in Guthrie


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean

      *********************************************

      Remember 9/11/01



      Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

      In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

      William Brabant
      711 Pine Street Apt.1
      Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
    • William Brabant
      Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Hello, Everyone. After a week of worrying and
      Message 342 of 342 , Dec 11, 2009
      • 0 Attachment
        Clean Clean

        Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
        name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

        Hello, Everyone.

        After a week of worrying and trying to get Yahoo's servers to
        work properly, their engineers have reestablished service to
        all of the readers of the chips It is easy to point at a problem
        and ask to have it fixed, it is another thing to find it in a jungle
        of servers with a 100 million users. As a personal point it
        made me feel good to see all of you actually notice that I wasn't
        arriving every morning.

        I have a doctor's appointment this morning and he probably isn't
        happy with me. It has been about 75 days since I was in their last
        and he wanted to see me after 6 weeks which was a stretch even
        then.

        Yep he was unhappy and is dreaming up all sorts of tests to put me
        through including that miserable chemical stress test again and this

        is all over the minute amount of blood in my urine. I lose less that
        way
        than from all the blood test they take over a year but they never
        worry
        about that and judging by the number of checks on the lab order
        for next Monday they will probably will be taking a pint or so heh
        heh.
        Then I am scheduled for an ultrasound of my kidneys right before
        Christmas which isn't bad and then an IVP after that. If I remember
        correctly you had to drink a couple bottles of Yuck before that one
        and then a trip through the cat scan. I feel better than I have
        since
        the plant closure and that's what worries me. When I was in the Navy
        they converted from black oil to something similar to fuel oil. It
        had
        less lubricating ability than the old stuff and the fuel pumps
        failed
        several times a year except for one. It had run for five years
        without
        failure and when we went into overhaul we had to tear it down for an

        inspection. When they opened the pump the bearings fell apart and
        the pump had to be replaced. Sometimes I feel like if they do too
        much poking and prodding I might fall apart too.

        Enjoy the chips... buffalo

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Medicine Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        The Top Signs It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet

        [From Ruminations Top Five]

        "For refill, ring KLondike 6-4-3."

        The leeches look like they might have turned.

        Funny, you don't *remember* being prescribed mouse turds.

        The dim glow from the bathroom is keeping you awake --
        but you don't have a night-light.

        A tiny cockroach rehab clinic has been set up between
        the aftershave and the aspirin.

        Why keep that Preparation H? It was the worst-tasting toothpaste
        EVER.

        The drill bit you use to let the "bad ayre" out of your
        skull can't be sharpened.

        Your nosy neighbors leave the bathroom saying, "Don't
        touch me."

        The Brylcream can go -- the last time you ran your
        fingers through your hair was when you cleaned out the drain.

        There's a skeleton on the other side with a note saying,
        "Hi, Guy!"

        and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine
        Cabinet...

        Was there ever really a "Preparation A?"

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

        Which Christmas Song Are You?
        http://tinyurl.com/yfhczel

        Boxhead Zombie Wars
        http://tinyurl.com/d5xh43

        Dreams: A Difference Adventure
        http://tinyurl.com/y9k8jho

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        School Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        School Best Sellers


        Walking To School The First Day Back - by Misty Bus

        The Day The Car Pool Forgot Me - by I. Rhoda Bike

        Can't See The Chalkboard - by Sidney Backrow

        Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School - by Major
        Crackupp

        What I Dislike About Returning To School - by Mona Lott

        Making It Through The First Week Of School - by Gladys Saturday

        Is Life Over When Summer Ends? - by Midas Welbee

        What I Love About Returning To School - by I.M. Kidding

        Will Jimmy Finally Graduate? - by I. Betty Wont

        What Happens When You Get Caught Skipping School - by U. Will
        Gettitt

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Get Strong, Sculpted Arms and Shoulders

        The Shake Weight is the revolutionary new way to shape and tone your
        arms, and it is designed specifically for women. Scientific studies
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        Additional Ordering Details:

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        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Short Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
        "There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning," he
        snapped. "Wouldn't it be better to hear one at a time?"

        Little Johnny shouted, "Okay---you start."

        ~~~~

        Then there was the blonde who had trouble filling out a job
        application
        form.
        Where it said, "Married," she wrote "twice"; where it said,
        "Children," she wrote, "No, both were men." ......

        ~~~

        The weather today was fantastic! At work today we went outside and
        played basketball. Just as we were about out of time, I got the ball
        to
        take the winning shot, but I missed. One of my teammates demanded to
        know why I had missed such an easy shot. "I sprained my ankle," I
        told
        him. "That's a lame excuse," he replied.

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Dazzle Friends and Amaze Family with Himalayan Chinese Flower Tea!
        The Tea Bud Blooms into a Beautiful Flower when hot water is poured
        over it.
        Everyone Loves to Watch the Tea Bud Bloom!
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        Complete Tea Set
        Gorgeous Glass Teapot
        8 Himalayan Chinese Flower Tea Buds
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        Bonus 2 FREE cool to the touch Tea Cups

        http://buffaloschips.com/tea

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Short Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        I was checking out at the busy Super Market, and the cashier was
        having problems. The register ran out of paper, the scanner
        malfunctioned, and finally the cashier spilled a handful of coins.
        When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22. Trying to soothe

        her nerves, I said, "That's a nice round figure." Still frazzled,
        she
        glared at me and said, "You're no bean pole yourself."

        A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the
        bartender's
        attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, "I'll have
        another
        waterloo." The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and

        asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the

        man next to him and says, "That looks great! I'll have what he's
        having, a waterloo." So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice

        cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls out, "HEY!
        This
        isn't any good. It tastes just like water!" The regular bar patron
        sitting next to him says, "It is water, buddy. That's all I drink,"
        He
        turns to the bartender and says, "Right Lou?"

        A tramp put the finger on a banker as he was coming out of his
        office.
        "How about buying me a coffee?" he asked. "Here," the banker said.
        "Here's $5.00. Go buy yourself several cups of coffee." The next
        day,
        as the banker was coming out of his office again, the same tramp
        came
        up and punched him in the nose. Darn near knocked his lights out!!
        "Hey," yelled the banker, "is that any way to treat me after I gave

        you five dollars?" "You and your lousy cups of coffee you bought
        me,"
        the tramp snarled, punching him in the nose again. "They kept me
        awake
        all night!"

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Fun Slides Carpet Skates

        Wherever there's carpet, blast off with Fun Slides. They let you
        have fun while getting exercise indoors. Because they're one size
        fits all and loved by kids of all ages, they make a great gift. Fun
        Slides come in six fun colors.

        Buy one pair and we'll throw in a second pair at no charge.


        View Web Version

        http://buffaloschips.com/slides


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Chainsaw Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        A hillbilly is looking around a big hardware store
        when he sees a display of chain saws with a sign
        guaranteeing that this model of chain saw can cut
        twenty cords of firewood in a day. He motions to
        a salesman.

        'Can I help you, sir?'

        'This here chainsaw, kin it rully cut twenny cords o'wood in a day?'

        'Yes, sir, that's the guarantee. Twenty cords of wood or you get
        your money back.'

        'Yer joshin' me. Twenny cords o'farrwood? Ah don't blieve it!'

        'No, sir, it's true! Guaranteed.'

        'Wull, Ah'll trah one but ah still don't blieve it!'

        He buys the saw. He returns not the next day but the
        day after that. He seeks out the same salesman and
        confronts him with the slightly-used saw.
        '
        You lahr!' he says, 'You lah laka dawg! You sayed
        this here chainsawr'd cut twenny cords o'wood in a
        day! I got up yestiddy at the crack o'dawn 'n'I cut
        'n' cut 'n' cut all day! I didn't stop till it wuz
        dork! 'N'I couldn't cut moren' six cords o'farrwood
        t'save mah lahf! Now whattya say about that?'

        The salesman looked perplexed. 'Gee,' he said, 'maybe
        you got a bad one. Let's try it.' He takes the saw,
        pumps the primer a few times, and pulls the cord to
        start it up.

        The hillbilly's eyes get wide with surprise. 'Gawd
        a-mighty!' he shouts, 'What's that racket?'



        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        The Tushee Comforter is the alternative to just placing a towel on
        any chair, bench, or pool lounger. It protects against dirt, sweat,
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        a secure pocket over any seat and can be adjusted to any width or
        length to offer a soft comfortable seat. Relax and look stylish on a
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        personalization makes it a pleasant surprise gift for him or her.

        Throw away those chair covers! Put down a TUSHEE. The multipurpose,
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        add a soft, 100% cotton Terry Lounge Cover, to any seat for extra
        lounging comfort. Act now and take advantage of the Tushee 2X offer.


        http://buffaloschips.com/tush

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Dog Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis
        balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss.
        He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon,
        it was to be different. Trouser's owners were walking him along a
        trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man
        all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was
        gesturing annoyingly at Trouser's masters. This strange person spoke
        not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box
        and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on
        his masters' faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the
        situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this
        annoying pseudo clown's leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look
        in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue
        all over the ground in an effort to remove the man's foul essence
        from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that a mime is a terrible
        thing to taste.


        Stan Kegel

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Introducing the razor-sharp, feather-light ceramic slicing knife.
        Unlike steel knife blades, YoshiBlade stay razor sharp. In fact,
        this space-age material is so hard that professional chefs use
        ceramic to sharpen their steel knives.

        Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.

        As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.


        View Web Version

        http://buffaloschips.com/ceram

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        LynnLynn's Links
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
        e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@...

        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
        Subscribers and Friends

        Melva/The Joy Of Christmas
        http://silverandgoldandthee.net/C/Joy.html

        Carolyn w/I Tan't Wait Till Quithmuth Day~ Mel Blanc
        http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/quithmuthday.html

        John w/ Silent Night
        http://heavens-gates.com/silentnight/

        Amazing Grace
        http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazinggrace.html

        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+


        Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

        Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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        seen in over 50 years.

        And here's everything they don't want you to know...

        http://buffaloschips.com/scoop


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Surfin Surfari

        Redneck Playstation via Wesley
        http://tinyurl.com/cplms

        NOAA's National Weather Service - Graphical Forecast Via Dianne
        http://www.weather.gov/forecasts/graphical/sectors/

        Ugly Christmas Lights
        http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/

        Snowman Name
        http://www.quizopolis.com/snowman-name.php


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+


        Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
        have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
        especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
        because I think it's just the right thing to do.


        Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
        going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
        minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
        that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
        and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
        you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
        advantage of this:

        As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
        Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
        morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.


        Press here to get your copy:

        http://buffaloschips.com/kit



        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

        7-Zip
        http://download.cnet.com/7-Zip/3000-2250_4-10045185.html

        Guard Your Online Privacy With TrackerWatcher Firefox Addon Via
        Wesley
        http://tinyurl.com/ychtjf5

        French army sides with Mozilla in Microsoft email war Via Wesley
        http://tinyurl.com/yh9nstn


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+


        Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
        on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
        man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!

        Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
        ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
        now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.


        PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
        date:

        http://buffaloschips.com/date


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Animal World

        Doggie Zone Via Dianne
        http://www.pupforum.com/pics/browse.cfm

        Wild Macaws
        http://freespace.virgin.net/susanarmitage/macaws.htm

        Winter Hummingbirds of Southwest Louisiana
        http://members.cox.net/wdpatton/

        World of Birding
        http://www.worldbirdingcenter.org/


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
        documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
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        Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
        pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
        R/D.

        You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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        you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
        other people have deleted from your computer.

        Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
        files you want to recover.

        Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:

        http://buffaloschips.com/restore


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Here is some more information about this new way to watch
        television:

        1) All of the programming is uncensored!

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        And new channels are added every day!

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        Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:

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        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Movie Links

        The Mom Song
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/jadljhda.htm

        Tolerant Cat
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsksd.htm

        Uncle Jay
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/dskjskj.htm

        Walk-in Closet
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsksdjk.htm

        Who Needs Pockets
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdjkjsdk.htm


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Bee Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how
        things
        were going. "Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been

        really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I
        can't
        make any honey." "No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down
        five
        blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's
        a
        Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and
        fruit." "Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away.
        A
        few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first
        bee
        asked, "How'd it go?""Great!" said the second bee. "It was
        everything
        you said it would be." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked
        the
        first bee. "That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want

        them to think I was a wasp."

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Clean Windshields without Straining or Stretching


        Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that
        eliminates straining and stretching. It uses a 16" handle to help
        reach all the way down to the dash and base of your rear window.
        Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal.

        Get two for the price of one when you order today.

        Order now
        View Web Version

        http://buffaloschips.com/wind

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Toon Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Cloud Cyclone Graham 02
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/klkj4l3lk.htm

        Cloud Fire_Starter
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/;l;65l4.htm

        Cloud Melhorfotov2003
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/;l2;l1.htm

        Cloud Shark
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl34.htm

        Clown
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/k546k.htm

        Clown2
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/l43k;5lk34.htm


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        The Optic 1050 binoculars with up to 1000X magnification will allow
        you to see objects up to 35 miles away! They're great for
        vacationing, sporting events, bird watching, and more. These super
        lightweight binoculars include features such as:

        Wide-angle viewing
        Shatterproof lenses
        Soft rubber eye cups
        Comfort neck strap
        Center focusing wheel

        http://buffaloschips.com/optics

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Christmas Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
        They both drop their needles

        Why couldn't the butterfly go to the fancy Chistmas dance?
        It was a moth ball!

        Where does Santa go swimming?
        The North Pool!

        What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand?
        Sandy Claws

        I went to my friend's house recently and noticed that his Christmas
        tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top. I asked,
        "What's the deal, no decorations?" Puzzled, he looked at me and
        said, "What do you mean? It's a cartridge in a bare tree."

        Stan Kegel

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
        Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
        surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.

        Your package includes:
        Durable Base with built in catnip
        Cute, playful kitty toy
        Packet of catnip
        Bonus De-shedder

        Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
        Gift absolutely FREE!

        http://buffaloschips.com/emery


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Parting Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Customer: "My computer crashed!"

        Tech Support: "It crashed?"

        Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."

        Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."

        Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."

        Tech Support: "Huh?"

        Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed
        my
        Spaceship and now it doesn't work."

        Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"

        Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Stop your Back Pain!
        Backjoy will change the way you sit and change your life

        FREE * 30-day trial
        Bonus Free travel satchel PLUS stretch & strengthen DVD with order

        Backjoy is lightweight and portable
        -Perfect for people who sit on the job
        -Good for sporting events
        -Patent-pending ergonomic design
        -Works on any chair
        -Lifetime Warranty!


        Relieves Symptoms associated with
        Neck, Shoulder & Back Pain,
        Spinal Injury, Chronic Sciatica, and Pinched Nerves
        Bulging & Slipped Discs and Muscle Soreness
        Pregnancy too!

        http://buffaloschips.com/backpa




        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Bonus Chip
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks
        while gambling, the big, high- class casinos are now equipped with
        sophisticated defibrillators.

        They are computer controlled to deliver the exact electric shock
        needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you're at a big,
        high-class casino.

        At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the
        carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.


        Sue


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        The SlipOver - Dual Sided Slipcover - As Seen on TV

        Make your old, ugly beat-up sofa look BRAND NEW
        With Slipover, the Only Reversible Slipcover!
        Get 2 Matching Reversible Pillow Covers FREE*
        Plus a FREE* Add-On Organizer- so you will never lose your remote
        again!

        One-piece universal fit
        Comfy, cozy fabric
        Machine washable, won't shrink or fade
        Patent-pending design
        Easy care fabric that's stain resistant!

        http://buffaloschips.com/slip

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Katie's Komfort Kolumn
        Vol 1736

        Dancing With Wolfstien

        After a day of being cooped up in the house for the dogs, they are
        ready to play. After a day of working at the office dad is ready
        to take
        it easy... something must give... Dad has to give. It is like
        coming home
        to three four year olds high on caffeine.

        BJ gets out of his car, Diana opens the house door and three dogs
        are
        unleashed...

        BJ: Hi guys...!

        Katie: FATHER!!!

        As she leaps forward and crashes into BJ sending BJ backwards...

        BJ: Hey slow down there girl.

        Katie: Sorry father, but I am just so excited...

        Then Rudy who is three times the size of Katie comes barreling in.

        Thud!!!

        BJ: Gasp!! Down Rudy... Down!

        Rudy: Aw shucks Dad...

        BJ: You called me Dad...

        Rudy: Did not..

        Sandi: Hi Daddy! (As she jumps up almost to eye level), Let's play.

        BJ: How can I not. Let's go running around the yard!

        Yay!!!

        Diana watches from the door as the four kids go playing... BJ throws
        a stick, the dogs chase it, then chase BJ,,, BJ chases the dog..and
        on
        and on it goes.

        The herd in Guthrie

        (as bad as it is to leave the dogs in the morning, it is pure Heaven
        to
        come home at night)

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean

        *********************************************

        Remember 9/11/01



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