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Clean Chips For Fri

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  • B.Brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. On June 20, 1868, a proclamation signed by the
    Message 1 of 342 , Jul 1, 2005
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      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.


      On June 20, 1868, a proclamation signed by the Governor General, Lord Monck,
      called upon all Her Majesty's loving subjects throughout Canada to join in
      the celebration of the anniversary of the formation of the union of the
      British North America provinces in a federation under the name of Canada on
      July 1st. The July 1 holiday was established by statute in 1879, under the
      name Dominion Day. In 1982 this holiday became Canada Day. I would like to
      wish all of our friends and neighbors to the North a safe and fun holiday
      tomorrow. One of the advantages to living on the border is being able to
      share and enjoy each others holidays. So to our friends
      to the North a Happy Canada Day and to everyone in the states be careful as
      you
      enjoy the long weekend. We have a family reunion this weekend so posting
      times may be even stranger than they already are as we participate in all
      the
      festivities.... buffalo

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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Prison Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      A first time prisoner is placed in his cell with a
      cellmate. Before long it is time for "lights out" and the cellblock becomes
      dark nearly silent.

      Eventually a voice from across the cellblock cries out "twenty-two!" and
      everyone breaks out into loud and prolonged laughter. A little while later
      another voice calls out "forty-one!" and again the entire cellblock enjoys a
      hearty laugh.

      The new prisoner is confused and asks his cellmate what
      this is all about. The cellmate replies that they have
      been in prison so long that rather than tell the same
      jokes over and over, they have assigned numbers to them as
      a more efficient way to tell jokes. The new prisoner asks
      if he could give it a try. His cellmate says "Sure, why
      not tell number eighteen!"

      The new prisoner yells out," Eighteen."

      No response whatsoever.....not even a snicker! The new prisoner is confused
      and asks his cellmate what went wrong.

      The cellmate replies, "Some people just don't know how to
      tell a joke!"


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

      Dinner
      http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32018.htm
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      Bad Cooking
      http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32017.htm
      <a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32017.htm "> Here!</a>

      Herman
      http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32016.htm
      <a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32016.htm "> Here!</a>

      <a href=" http://www.jillsjokeline.com/doglost.shtml ">Please Help Me Find
      My Dog</a>

      Read The Sign
      http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny800.html
      <a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny800.html">Here!</a>

      A Missed Photo Opportunity http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200409/050.htm
      <a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200409/050.htm"> Here </a>


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Short Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      A young man was applying for a job in a big company. "I'm sorry," said the
      personnel manager, "but the firm is overstaffed; we have more employees now
      than we really need." "That's all right," replied the young man,
      undiscouraged, "the little bit of work I do wouldn't be noticed.

      ~~~~~


      Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied female
      obesity to a virus. One evening my sister came home exhausted from a long
      day at work.

      "Did you read the paper?" she asked. "I'm not going in to work tomorrow.

      I'm calling in fat."

      ~~~~

      When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally
      the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned
      a sweatshirt and slacks.

      A student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should
      wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years
      younger!"

      --Mary Nichols in READER'S DIGEST


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Rattlesnake Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat,
      learning methods to counter offensive tactics. That summer, the area had
      experienced an infestation of rattlesnakes. Officers and NCOs were given one
      magazine of live ammunition to counter this danger, as several men had
      already been bitten.

      So much ammunition was expended shooting, supposedly, at snakes that the
      post commander demanded that every officer and NCO who had shot at a snake
      present the dead snake as proof that the expenditure of rounds was
      justifiable.

      The next day, the post commander entered his office and spotted a shoe box
      on his desk. He opened it, revealing a sleepy and sluggish, but very live,
      rattlesnake. Inside the box were twenty expended cartridges, and a short
      note. The note said,

      "I missed!"


      Rita


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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      Button Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      A man lost two buttons from his shirt and put them in his pants pocket. But
      the pocket had a hole, so the buttons fell into his shoe.

      Unfortunately, the shoe also had a hole, so he lost the buttons.

      Since pockets with holes, holes without buttons and shoe soles with
      holes, are useless, the man ripped the button holes out of his shirt and the
      pocket from his pants and tossed them in the trash along with the soles of
      his shoes.

      After looking in a mirror, he decided to toss the clothes in the trash
      as well.

      A policeman observed all this and asked the man for identification. The
      man produced a document that he was an ordained minister of the gospel. The
      policeman promptly escorted him to a mental institution.

      The minister protested violently, asking why he was receiving such
      unjust treatment.

      The policeman replied,

      "Anyone claiming to be a preacher, but who doesn't save souls or wear holy
      clothes has probably lost his buttons!"


      Rita
      (via Stan Kegal)


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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Corporate Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      *New Corporate Policy*


      Attention Employees:
      Our Corporate Operations Committee has defined a lower cost alternative to
      the previously planned switch to LINUX systems.

      All computers will be removed from every desktop.

      Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch!

      There are many sound and viable reasons for this decision:

      1. No technical glitches keeping work from being done.

      2. No more wasted time reading and writing emails.

      3. Reduction in technical support calls will reduce our costs associated
      with maintaining our I.S. help desk.

      4. Reduction in hardware costs.

      5. Elimination of all software license fees.

      6. Reduction in the amount of training necessary for new hires.

      7. Can be used at the desktop as well as away from the office due its
      extreme portability.

      8. Extremely low cost makes them disposable (when one breaks, we will simply
      replace it).

      9. We can now hire 1st graders to do your job.

      10. We will maintain a virus free environment... No more Norton.


      In anticipation of the questions some of you will undoubtedly have regarding
      this corporate decision, we have prepared a list of the most Frequently
      Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk:

      Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
      A: Pick it up and shake it.

      Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
      A: Pick it up and shake it.

      Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
      A: Pick it up and shake it.

      Q: How do I create a New Document window?
      A: Pick it up and shake it.

      Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
      A: Pick it up and shake it.

      Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
      A: Pick it up and shake it.

      Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
      A: Pick it up and shake it.

      Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
      A: DON'T shake it!


      Rita



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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Dog Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      A man is walking his dog, and passes a little restaurant; the cooking smells
      are so tempting, he decides he would like to stop for lunch, but the sign
      says no animals are permited.

      After a couple of moment's thought, he decided to brazen it out: he walks
      into the shop, with his dog on a leash and asks to be seated. The waiter
      says "I am sorry sir, but we do not permit animals in the restaurant."

      The man says,"But I'm blind, and this is my seeing eye dog."

      The waiter responds skeptically: "Your seeing eye dog? Sir, that dog is a
      Chihuahua."

      The man responds: "Oh, they gave me a Chihuahua?"

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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      Blonde Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try
      out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "what is 1 and 1?"
      "Eleven," she replied.
      The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's
      right."
      "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and
      tomorrow."
      He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he
      had never thought of himself.
      "Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" The blonde looked a
      little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and
      finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work
      on that one for a while?" So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty
      parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the
      interview. The blonde was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job
      and I'm already working on a murder case!"



      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Toon Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      French Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      *France

      The Palestinians, understandably, want a homeland of their own. So far,
      it doesn't seem chopping up Israel even smaller than it already is will
      be a satisfactory solution for either side.

      So why not give France to the Palestinians?

      The French have already stated that nothing is worth fighting for.
      France certainly has more room, better irrigation and soil than the West
      Bank or the Gaza Strip. The houses are nicer, and tourists will visit,
      helping the economy. Plus, there are no pesky Israeli troops there for
      the Palestinians to hassle with.

      Heck, the French won't even fight back ... and they may not even notice
      their country's gone. It's possibly the perfect solution!

      But what about a name for this new "Franco-Palestine" territory?

      May I humbly suggest calling it Frankenstine?*

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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      Parting Chips
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      In a stationery store, I quickly picked out a card for my wife for our
      anniversary. The clerk was surprised by how little time it took me, and she
      began relating a story about another customer who spent a half-hour
      searching for the right anniversary greeting. Noticing the man lingering
      over one card after another, the clerk went to see if she could help. "Is
      there a problem?" she asked. "Yes, there is," he replied ruefully. "I can't
      find one my wife will believe."

      ~~~

      My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral service as a Navy
      chaplain, but the undertaker assured him that he would prompt him. All went
      well until, at the close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct the
      family to come up and view the body. "Will the family now come forward and
      pass around the bier," said my father. He cringed inwardly when he heard his
      own words. Later, as my father was leaving, he overheard two of the cemetery
      workers talking. "I didn't get any beer," one said. "Did you?" "You heard
      the chaplain," the other replied. "It was just for the family."


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



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      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Bonus Chip
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


      We took the family to one of those restaurants where the walls are
      plastered with movie memorabilia. I went off to see the hostess about
      reserving a table.

      When I returned, I found my 11-year-old daughter staring at a poster of
      Superman standing in a phone booth. She looked puzzled.

      "She doesn't know who Superman is?" I whispered to my husband.

      "Worse," he replied. "She doesn't know what a phone booth is."

      Patricia

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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      Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Katie's Komfort Kolumn
      Vol 344

      The 4th Part 1

      Rudy: What is the 4th of July all about Katie?

      Katie: I don't really know. It is not about taking the fifth.

      Sandi: Or drinking a fifth.

      Katie: Let's go to my library and look it up on the computer.

      The kids go inside and gather around the computer screen.

      Katie: Hmmm, it appears a bunch of people signed a paper that made
      them traitors to England. The paper was the Constitution. It appears
      to be one of the foundations of this country, the United States of
      America.

      Sandi: Wow! That is important.

      Rudy: Says here it is a day we honor the military past and present.

      Katie: I have an idea....

      Sandi/Rudy: The time machine!!!!

      Katie: Yes, let's go back and see what really happened. Pack your bags
      we will gone for a little while. Go see if mom and Dad would like to
      go along with Muffin and Callie.

      Rudy: Okay, I will wear my red/white and blue shorts.

      Katie: That is more information than I need to know.

      To be continued

      The Herd in Guthrie

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean

      *********************************************

      Remember 9/11/01



      Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

      In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

      William Brabant
      711 Pine Street Apt.1
      Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
    • William Brabant
      Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Hello, Everyone. After a week of worrying and
      Message 342 of 342 , Dec 11, 2009
      • 0 Attachment
        Clean Clean

        Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
        name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

        Hello, Everyone.

        After a week of worrying and trying to get Yahoo's servers to
        work properly, their engineers have reestablished service to
        all of the readers of the chips It is easy to point at a problem
        and ask to have it fixed, it is another thing to find it in a jungle
        of servers with a 100 million users. As a personal point it
        made me feel good to see all of you actually notice that I wasn't
        arriving every morning.

        I have a doctor's appointment this morning and he probably isn't
        happy with me. It has been about 75 days since I was in their last
        and he wanted to see me after 6 weeks which was a stretch even
        then.

        Yep he was unhappy and is dreaming up all sorts of tests to put me
        through including that miserable chemical stress test again and this

        is all over the minute amount of blood in my urine. I lose less that
        way
        than from all the blood test they take over a year but they never
        worry
        about that and judging by the number of checks on the lab order
        for next Monday they will probably will be taking a pint or so heh
        heh.
        Then I am scheduled for an ultrasound of my kidneys right before
        Christmas which isn't bad and then an IVP after that. If I remember
        correctly you had to drink a couple bottles of Yuck before that one
        and then a trip through the cat scan. I feel better than I have
        since
        the plant closure and that's what worries me. When I was in the Navy
        they converted from black oil to something similar to fuel oil. It
        had
        less lubricating ability than the old stuff and the fuel pumps
        failed
        several times a year except for one. It had run for five years
        without
        failure and when we went into overhaul we had to tear it down for an

        inspection. When they opened the pump the bearings fell apart and
        the pump had to be replaced. Sometimes I feel like if they do too
        much poking and prodding I might fall apart too.

        Enjoy the chips... buffalo

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        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Medicine Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        The Top Signs It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet

        [From Ruminations Top Five]

        "For refill, ring KLondike 6-4-3."

        The leeches look like they might have turned.

        Funny, you don't *remember* being prescribed mouse turds.

        The dim glow from the bathroom is keeping you awake --
        but you don't have a night-light.

        A tiny cockroach rehab clinic has been set up between
        the aftershave and the aspirin.

        Why keep that Preparation H? It was the worst-tasting toothpaste
        EVER.

        The drill bit you use to let the "bad ayre" out of your
        skull can't be sharpened.

        Your nosy neighbors leave the bathroom saying, "Don't
        touch me."

        The Brylcream can go -- the last time you ran your
        fingers through your hair was when you cleaned out the drain.

        There's a skeleton on the other side with a note saying,
        "Hi, Guy!"

        and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine
        Cabinet...

        Was there ever really a "Preparation A?"

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

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        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        School Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        School Best Sellers


        Walking To School The First Day Back - by Misty Bus

        The Day The Car Pool Forgot Me - by I. Rhoda Bike

        Can't See The Chalkboard - by Sidney Backrow

        Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School - by Major
        Crackupp

        What I Dislike About Returning To School - by Mona Lott

        Making It Through The First Week Of School - by Gladys Saturday

        Is Life Over When Summer Ends? - by Midas Welbee

        What I Love About Returning To School - by I.M. Kidding

        Will Jimmy Finally Graduate? - by I. Betty Wont

        What Happens When You Get Caught Skipping School - by U. Will
        Gettitt

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Get Strong, Sculpted Arms and Shoulders

        The Shake Weight is the revolutionary new way to shape and tone your
        arms, and it is designed specifically for women. Scientific studies
        prove that the Shake Weight increases upper body muscle activity by
        more than 300% compared to traditional weights.

        Additional Ordering Details:

        http://buffaloschips.com/shake


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Short Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
        "There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning," he
        snapped. "Wouldn't it be better to hear one at a time?"

        Little Johnny shouted, "Okay---you start."

        ~~~~

        Then there was the blonde who had trouble filling out a job
        application
        form.
        Where it said, "Married," she wrote "twice"; where it said,
        "Children," she wrote, "No, both were men." ......

        ~~~

        The weather today was fantastic! At work today we went outside and
        played basketball. Just as we were about out of time, I got the ball
        to
        take the winning shot, but I missed. One of my teammates demanded to
        know why I had missed such an easy shot. "I sprained my ankle," I
        told
        him. "That's a lame excuse," he replied.

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Dazzle Friends and Amaze Family with Himalayan Chinese Flower Tea!
        The Tea Bud Blooms into a Beautiful Flower when hot water is poured
        over it.
        Everyone Loves to Watch the Tea Bud Bloom!
        Guaranteed the Most Beautiful and Delicious Tea you will ever serve.

        Great Gift for Family & Friends
        Perfect for Parties, Children's Celebrations, and Holiday
        Festivities 100% Customer Satisfaction!

        Complete Tea Set
        Gorgeous Glass Teapot
        8 Himalayan Chinese Flower Tea Buds
        Membership in tea club
        Bonus 2 FREE cool to the touch Tea Cups

        http://buffaloschips.com/tea

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Short Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        I was checking out at the busy Super Market, and the cashier was
        having problems. The register ran out of paper, the scanner
        malfunctioned, and finally the cashier spilled a handful of coins.
        When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22. Trying to soothe

        her nerves, I said, "That's a nice round figure." Still frazzled,
        she
        glared at me and said, "You're no bean pole yourself."

        A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the
        bartender's
        attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, "I'll have
        another
        waterloo." The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and

        asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the

        man next to him and says, "That looks great! I'll have what he's
        having, a waterloo." So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice

        cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls out, "HEY!
        This
        isn't any good. It tastes just like water!" The regular bar patron
        sitting next to him says, "It is water, buddy. That's all I drink,"
        He
        turns to the bartender and says, "Right Lou?"

        A tramp put the finger on a banker as he was coming out of his
        office.
        "How about buying me a coffee?" he asked. "Here," the banker said.
        "Here's $5.00. Go buy yourself several cups of coffee." The next
        day,
        as the banker was coming out of his office again, the same tramp
        came
        up and punched him in the nose. Darn near knocked his lights out!!
        "Hey," yelled the banker, "is that any way to treat me after I gave

        you five dollars?" "You and your lousy cups of coffee you bought
        me,"
        the tramp snarled, punching him in the nose again. "They kept me
        awake
        all night!"

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Fun Slides Carpet Skates

        Wherever there's carpet, blast off with Fun Slides. They let you
        have fun while getting exercise indoors. Because they're one size
        fits all and loved by kids of all ages, they make a great gift. Fun
        Slides come in six fun colors.

        Buy one pair and we'll throw in a second pair at no charge.


        View Web Version

        http://buffaloschips.com/slides


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Chainsaw Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        A hillbilly is looking around a big hardware store
        when he sees a display of chain saws with a sign
        guaranteeing that this model of chain saw can cut
        twenty cords of firewood in a day. He motions to
        a salesman.

        'Can I help you, sir?'

        'This here chainsaw, kin it rully cut twenny cords o'wood in a day?'

        'Yes, sir, that's the guarantee. Twenty cords of wood or you get
        your money back.'

        'Yer joshin' me. Twenny cords o'farrwood? Ah don't blieve it!'

        'No, sir, it's true! Guaranteed.'

        'Wull, Ah'll trah one but ah still don't blieve it!'

        He buys the saw. He returns not the next day but the
        day after that. He seeks out the same salesman and
        confronts him with the slightly-used saw.
        '
        You lahr!' he says, 'You lah laka dawg! You sayed
        this here chainsawr'd cut twenny cords o'wood in a
        day! I got up yestiddy at the crack o'dawn 'n'I cut
        'n' cut 'n' cut all day! I didn't stop till it wuz
        dork! 'N'I couldn't cut moren' six cords o'farrwood
        t'save mah lahf! Now whattya say about that?'

        The salesman looked perplexed. 'Gee,' he said, 'maybe
        you got a bad one. Let's try it.' He takes the saw,
        pumps the primer a few times, and pulls the cord to
        start it up.

        The hillbilly's eyes get wide with surprise. 'Gawd
        a-mighty!' he shouts, 'What's that racket?'



        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        The Tushee Comforter is the alternative to just placing a towel on
        any chair, bench, or pool lounger. It protects against dirt, sweat,
        and heat, while never falling off or blowing away. The Tushee forms
        a secure pocket over any seat and can be adjusted to any width or
        length to offer a soft comfortable seat. Relax and look stylish on a
        soft plush Velour surface that provides real comfort. Plus, the
        personalization makes it a pleasant surprise gift for him or her.

        Throw away those chair covers! Put down a TUSHEE. The multipurpose,
        adjustable, soft secure pocket that fits over any seat. Now you can
        add a soft, 100% cotton Terry Lounge Cover, to any seat for extra
        lounging comfort. Act now and take advantage of the Tushee 2X offer.


        http://buffaloschips.com/tush

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Dog Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis
        balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss.
        He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon,
        it was to be different. Trouser's owners were walking him along a
        trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man
        all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was
        gesturing annoyingly at Trouser's masters. This strange person spoke
        not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box
        and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on
        his masters' faces, Trouser took it upon himself to rectify the
        situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this
        annoying pseudo clown's leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look
        in his eyes and began to vomit wildly. He then dragged his tongue
        all over the ground in an effort to remove the man's foul essence
        from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that a mime is a terrible
        thing to taste.


        Stan Kegel

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Introducing the razor-sharp, feather-light ceramic slicing knife.
        Unlike steel knife blades, YoshiBlade stay razor sharp. In fact,
        this space-age material is so hard that professional chefs use
        ceramic to sharpen their steel knives.

        Say goodbye to old fashioned steel knives.

        As a bonus you'll get the Ceramic Potato Peeler.


        View Web Version

        http://buffaloschips.com/ceram

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        LynnLynn's Links
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
        e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@...

        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
        Subscribers and Friends

        Melva/The Joy Of Christmas
        http://silverandgoldandthee.net/C/Joy.html

        Carolyn w/I Tan't Wait Till Quithmuth Day~ Mel Blanc
        http://carolynspreciousmemories.com/50s/quithmuthday.html

        John w/ Silent Night
        http://heavens-gates.com/silentnight/

        Amazing Grace
        http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/amazinggrace.html

        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+


        Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

        Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
        impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
        seen in over 50 years.

        And here's everything they don't want you to know...

        http://buffaloschips.com/scoop


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Surfin Surfari

        Redneck Playstation via Wesley
        http://tinyurl.com/cplms

        NOAA's National Weather Service - Graphical Forecast Via Dianne
        http://www.weather.gov/forecasts/graphical/sectors/

        Ugly Christmas Lights
        http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/

        Snowman Name
        http://www.quizopolis.com/snowman-name.php


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+


        Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
        have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
        especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
        because I think it's just the right thing to do.


        Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
        going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
        minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
        that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
        and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
        you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
        advantage of this:

        As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
        Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
        morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.


        Press here to get your copy:

        http://buffaloschips.com/kit



        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

        7-Zip
        http://download.cnet.com/7-Zip/3000-2250_4-10045185.html

        Guard Your Online Privacy With TrackerWatcher Firefox Addon Via
        Wesley
        http://tinyurl.com/ychtjf5

        French army sides with Mozilla in Microsoft email war Via Wesley
        http://tinyurl.com/yh9nstn


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+


        Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
        on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
        man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!

        Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
        ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
        now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.


        PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
        date:

        http://buffaloschips.com/date


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Animal World

        Doggie Zone Via Dianne
        http://www.pupforum.com/pics/browse.cfm

        Wild Macaws
        http://freespace.virgin.net/susanarmitage/macaws.htm

        Winter Hummingbirds of Southwest Louisiana
        http://members.cox.net/wdpatton/

        World of Birding
        http://www.worldbirdingcenter.org/


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
        documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
        you thought you could never get back.

        Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
        pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
        R/D.

        You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
        analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
        documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
        you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
        other people have deleted from your computer.

        Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
        files you want to recover.

        Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:

        http://buffaloschips.com/restore


        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Here is some more information about this new way to watch
        television:

        1) All of the programming is uncensored!

        2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
        And new channels are added every day!

        3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time!
        And new stations are added daily!

        4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from
        your PC and laptop!

        5) No additional hardware is needed!

        6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!

        Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:

        http://buffalosjokes.com/pctv

        *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

        Movie Links

        The Mom Song
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/jadljhda.htm

        Tolerant Cat
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsksd.htm

        Uncle Jay
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/dskjskj.htm

        Walk-in Closet
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsksdjk.htm

        Who Needs Pockets
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdjkjsdk.htm


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Bee Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how
        things
        were going. "Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been

        really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I
        can't
        make any honey." "No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down
        five
        blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's
        a
        Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and
        fruit." "Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away.
        A
        few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first
        bee
        asked, "How'd it go?""Great!" said the second bee. "It was
        everything
        you said it would be." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked
        the
        first bee. "That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want

        them to think I was a wasp."

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Clean Windshields without Straining or Stretching


        Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that
        eliminates straining and stretching. It uses a 16" handle to help
        reach all the way down to the dash and base of your rear window.
        Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal.

        Get two for the price of one when you order today.

        Order now
        View Web Version

        http://buffaloschips.com/wind

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Toon Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Cloud Cyclone Graham 02
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/klkj4l3lk.htm

        Cloud Fire_Starter
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/;l;65l4.htm

        Cloud Melhorfotov2003
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/;l2;l1.htm

        Cloud Shark
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl34.htm

        Clown
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/k546k.htm

        Clown2
        http://www.buffaloschips.com/l43k;5lk34.htm


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        The Optic 1050 binoculars with up to 1000X magnification will allow
        you to see objects up to 35 miles away! They're great for
        vacationing, sporting events, bird watching, and more. These super
        lightweight binoculars include features such as:

        Wide-angle viewing
        Shatterproof lenses
        Soft rubber eye cups
        Comfort neck strap
        Center focusing wheel

        http://buffaloschips.com/optics

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Christmas Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
        They both drop their needles

        Why couldn't the butterfly go to the fancy Chistmas dance?
        It was a moth ball!

        Where does Santa go swimming?
        The North Pool!

        What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand?
        Sandy Claws

        I went to my friend's house recently and noticed that his Christmas
        tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top. I asked,
        "What's the deal, no decorations?" Puzzled, he looked at me and
        said, "What do you mean? It's a cartridge in a bare tree."

        Stan Kegel

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
        Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
        surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.

        Your package includes:
        Durable Base with built in catnip
        Cute, playful kitty toy
        Packet of catnip
        Bonus De-shedder

        Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
        Gift absolutely FREE!

        http://buffaloschips.com/emery


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Parting Chips
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Customer: "My computer crashed!"

        Tech Support: "It crashed?"

        Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."

        Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."

        Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."

        Tech Support: "Huh?"

        Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed
        my
        Spaceship and now it doesn't work."

        Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"

        Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Stop your Back Pain!
        Backjoy will change the way you sit and change your life

        FREE * 30-day trial
        Bonus Free travel satchel PLUS stretch & strengthen DVD with order

        Backjoy is lightweight and portable
        -Perfect for people who sit on the job
        -Good for sporting events
        -Patent-pending ergonomic design
        -Works on any chair
        -Lifetime Warranty!


        Relieves Symptoms associated with
        Neck, Shoulder & Back Pain,
        Spinal Injury, Chronic Sciatica, and Pinched Nerves
        Bulging & Slipped Discs and Muscle Soreness
        Pregnancy too!

        http://buffaloschips.com/backpa




        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Bonus Chip
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks
        while gambling, the big, high- class casinos are now equipped with
        sophisticated defibrillators.

        They are computer controlled to deliver the exact electric shock
        needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you're at a big,
        high-class casino.

        At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the
        carpet and touch your finger to the doorknob.


        Sue


        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        The SlipOver - Dual Sided Slipcover - As Seen on TV

        Make your old, ugly beat-up sofa look BRAND NEW
        With Slipover, the Only Reversible Slipcover!
        Get 2 Matching Reversible Pillow Covers FREE*
        Plus a FREE* Add-On Organizer- so you will never lose your remote
        again!

        One-piece universal fit
        Comfy, cozy fabric
        Machine washable, won't shrink or fade
        Patent-pending design
        Easy care fabric that's stain resistant!

        http://buffaloschips.com/slip

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


        Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Katie's Komfort Kolumn
        Vol 1736

        Dancing With Wolfstien

        After a day of being cooped up in the house for the dogs, they are
        ready to play. After a day of working at the office dad is ready
        to take
        it easy... something must give... Dad has to give. It is like
        coming home
        to three four year olds high on caffeine.

        BJ gets out of his car, Diana opens the house door and three dogs
        are
        unleashed...

        BJ: Hi guys...!

        Katie: FATHER!!!

        As she leaps forward and crashes into BJ sending BJ backwards...

        BJ: Hey slow down there girl.

        Katie: Sorry father, but I am just so excited...

        Then Rudy who is three times the size of Katie comes barreling in.

        Thud!!!

        BJ: Gasp!! Down Rudy... Down!

        Rudy: Aw shucks Dad...

        BJ: You called me Dad...

        Rudy: Did not..

        Sandi: Hi Daddy! (As she jumps up almost to eye level), Let's play.

        BJ: How can I not. Let's go running around the yard!

        Yay!!!

        Diana watches from the door as the four kids go playing... BJ throws
        a stick, the dogs chase it, then chase BJ,,, BJ chases the dog..and
        on
        and on it goes.

        The herd in Guthrie

        (as bad as it is to leave the dogs in the morning, it is pure Heaven
        to
        come home at night)

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

        Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean

        *********************************************

        Remember 9/11/01



        Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

        In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

        William Brabant
        711 Pine Street Apt.1
        Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783







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