Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
After a week of worrying and trying to get Yahoo's servers to
work properly, their engineers have reestablished service to
all of the readers of the chips It is easy to point at a problem
and ask to have it fixed, it is another thing to find it in a jungle
of servers with a 100 million users. As a personal point it
made me feel good to see all of you actually notice that I wasn't
arriving every morning.
I have a doctor's appointment this morning and he probably isn't
happy with me. It has been about 75 days since I was in their last
and he wanted to see me after 6 weeks which was a stretch even
Yep he was unhappy and is dreaming up all sorts of tests to put me
through including that miserable chemical stress test again and this
is all over the minute amount of blood in my urine. I lose less that
than from all the blood test they take over a year but they never
about that and judging by the number of checks on the lab order
for next Monday they will probably will be taking a pint or so heh
Then I am scheduled for an ultrasound of my kidneys right before
Christmas which isn't bad and then an IVP after that. If I remember
correctly you had to drink a couple bottles of Yuck before that one
and then a trip through the cat scan. I feel better than I have
the plant closure and that's what worries me. When I was in the Navy
they converted from black oil to something similar to fuel oil. It
less lubricating ability than the old stuff and the fuel pumps
several times a year except for one. It had run for five years
failure and when we went into overhaul we had to tear it down for an
inspection. When they opened the pump the bearings fell apart and
the pump had to be replaced. Sometimes I feel like if they do too
much poking and prodding I might fall apart too.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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The Top Signs It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine Cabinet
[From Ruminations Top Five]
"For refill, ring KLondike 6-4-3."
The leeches look like they might have turned.
Funny, you don't *remember* being prescribed mouse turds.
The dim glow from the bathroom is keeping you awake --
but you don't have a night-light.
A tiny cockroach rehab clinic has been set up between
the aftershave and the aspirin.
Why keep that Preparation H? It was the worst-tasting toothpaste
The drill bit you use to let the "bad ayre" out of your
skull can't be sharpened.
Your nosy neighbors leave the bathroom saying, "Don't
The Brylcream can go -- the last time you ran your
fingers through your hair was when you cleaned out the drain.
There's a skeleton on the other side with a note saying,
and the Number 1 Sign It's Time to Clean Out Your Medicine
Was there ever really a "Preparation A?"
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Which Christmas Song Are You?
Boxhead Zombie Wars
Dreams: A Difference Adventure
School Best Sellers
Walking To School The First Day Back - by Misty Bus
The Day The Car Pool Forgot Me - by I. Rhoda Bike
Can't See The Chalkboard - by Sidney Backrow
Practical Jokes I Played On The First Day Of School - by Major
What I Dislike About Returning To School - by Mona Lott
Making It Through The First Week Of School - by Gladys Saturday
Is Life Over When Summer Ends? - by Midas Welbee
What I Love About Returning To School - by I.M. Kidding
Will Jimmy Finally Graduate? - by I. Betty Wont
What Happens When You Get Caught Skipping School - by U. Will
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The principal was annoyed by the noise during the assembly program.
"There seem to be several idiots in the auditorium this morning," he
snapped. "Wouldn't it be better to hear one at a time?"
Little Johnny shouted, "Okay---you start."
Then there was the blonde who had trouble filling out a job
Where it said, "Married," she wrote "twice"; where it said,
"Children," she wrote, "No, both were men." ......
The weather today was fantastic! At work today we went outside and
played basketball. Just as we were about out of time, I got the ball
take the winning shot, but I missed. One of my teammates demanded to
know why I had missed such an easy shot. "I sprained my ankle," I
him. "That's a lame excuse," he replied.
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I was checking out at the busy Super Market, and the cashier was
having problems. The register ran out of paper, the scanner
malfunctioned, and finally the cashier spilled a handful of coins.
When she totaled my order, it came to exactly $22. Trying to soothe
her nerves, I said, "That's a nice round figure." Still frazzled,
glared at me and said, "You're no bean pole yourself."
A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the
attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, "I'll have
waterloo." The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and
asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the
man next to him and says, "That looks great! I'll have what he's
having, a waterloo." So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice
cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls out, "HEY!
isn't any good. It tastes just like water!" The regular bar patron
sitting next to him says, "It is water, buddy. That's all I drink,"
turns to the bartender and says, "Right Lou?"
A tramp put the finger on a banker as he was coming out of his
"How about buying me a coffee?" he asked. "Here," the banker said.
"Here's $5.00. Go buy yourself several cups of coffee." The next
as the banker was coming out of his office again, the same tramp
up and punched him in the nose. Darn near knocked his lights out!!
"Hey," yelled the banker, "is that any way to treat me after I gave
you five dollars?" "You and your lousy cups of coffee you bought
the tramp snarled, punching him in the nose again. "They kept me
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View Web Version
A hillbilly is looking around a big hardware store
when he sees a display of chain saws with a sign
guaranteeing that this model of chain saw can cut
twenty cords of firewood in a day. He motions to
'Can I help you, sir?'
'This here chainsaw, kin it rully cut twenny cords o'wood in a day?'
'Yes, sir, that's the guarantee. Twenty cords of wood or you get
your money back.'
'Yer joshin' me. Twenny cords o'farrwood? Ah don't blieve it!'
'No, sir, it's true! Guaranteed.'
'Wull, Ah'll trah one but ah still don't blieve it!'
He buys the saw. He returns not the next day but the
day after that. He seeks out the same salesman and
confronts him with the slightly-used saw.
You lahr!' he says, 'You lah laka dawg! You sayed
this here chainsawr'd cut twenny cords o'wood in a
day! I got up yestiddy at the crack o'dawn 'n'I cut
'n' cut 'n' cut all day! I didn't stop till it wuz
dork! 'N'I couldn't cut moren' six cords o'farrwood
t'save mah lahf! Now whattya say about that?'
The salesman looked perplexed. 'Gee,' he said, 'maybe
you got a bad one. Let's try it.' He takes the saw,
pumps the primer a few times, and pulls the cord to
start it up.
The hillbilly's eyes get wide with surprise. 'Gawd
a-mighty!' he shouts, 'What's that racket?'
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Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis
balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss.
He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon,
it was to be different. Trouser's owners were walking him along a
trail at the park, when suddenly from out of the bushes jumped a man
all dressed in black. He had white paint on his face, and was
gesturing annoyingly at Trouser's masters. This strange person spoke
not a word, but proceeded to pretend that he was trapped in a box
and that he was pulling on a long rope. Seeing the sheer horror on
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situation. With a low growl he jumped and sank his teeth into this
annoying pseudo clown's leg. Trouser immediately got a sickened look
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all over the ground in an effort to remove the man's foul essence
from his mouth. For Trouser had learned that a mime is a terrible
thing to taste.
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e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@...
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Joy Of Christmas
Carolyn w/I Tan't Wait Till Quithmuth Day~ Mel Blanc
John w/ Silent Night
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
Redneck Playstation via Wesley
NOAA's National Weather Service - Graphical Forecast Via Dianne
Ugly Christmas Lights
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
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As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
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morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Guard Your Online Privacy With TrackerWatcher Firefox Addon Via
French army sides with Mozilla in Microsoft email war Via Wesley
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
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Doggie Zone Via Dianne
Winter Hummingbirds of Southwest Louisiana
World of Birding
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The Mom Song
Who Needs Pockets
Two bees ran into each other. The first bee asked the other how
were going. "Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been
really wet and damp and there aren't any flowers or pollen, so I
make any honey." "No problem," said the first bee. "Just fly down
blocks and turn left. Keep going until you see all the cars. There's
Bar Mitzvah going on and there are all kinds of fresh flowers and
fruit." "Thanks for the tip," said the second bee, and he flew away.
few hours later, the two bees ran into each other again. The first
asked, "How'd it go?""Great!" said the second bee. "It was
you said it would be." "Uh, what's that thing on your head?" asked
first bee. "That's my yarmulke," said the second bee. "I didn't want
them to think I was a wasp."
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Cloud Cyclone Graham 02
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Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
They both drop their needles
Why couldn't the butterfly go to the fancy Chistmas dance?
It was a moth ball!
Where does Santa go swimming?
The North Pool!
What do you call a cat that likes to dig in the sand?
I went to my friend's house recently and noticed that his Christmas
tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top. I asked,
"What's the deal, no decorations?" Puzzled, he looked at me and
said, "What do you mean? It's a cartridge in a bare tree."
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Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
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Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed
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Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"
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Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks
while gambling, the big, high- class casinos are now equipped with
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At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Dancing With Wolfstien
After a day of being cooped up in the house for the dogs, they are
ready to play. After a day of working at the office dad is ready
it easy... something must give... Dad has to give. It is like
to three four year olds high on caffeine.
BJ gets out of his car, Diana opens the house door and three dogs
BJ: Hi guys...!
As she leaps forward and crashes into BJ sending BJ backwards...
BJ: Hey slow down there girl.
Katie: Sorry father, but I am just so excited...
Then Rudy who is three times the size of Katie comes barreling in.
BJ: Gasp!! Down Rudy... Down!
Rudy: Aw shucks Dad...
BJ: You called me Dad...
Rudy: Did not..
Sandi: Hi Daddy! (As she jumps up almost to eye level), Let's play.
BJ: How can I not. Let's go running around the yard!
Diana watches from the door as the four kids go playing... BJ throws
a stick, the dogs chase it, then chase BJ,,, BJ chases the dog..and
and on it goes.
The herd in Guthrie
(as bad as it is to leave the dogs in the morning, it is pure Heaven
come home at night)
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
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