Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
The Governor of Michigan and dozens of political figures on serene
Mackinac island this weekend to discuss problems in Detroit may now
think they would have been safer at home. One of the state senators from
the Detroit area was mugged by a drunken wedding party guest as he
boarded a horse drawn carriage. This man was not even one of his
constituents and we don't generally attack visiting politicians up
Today's Detroit Free Press http://www.freep.com/
stated in an article by
Mike Wendland and Kathleen Gray.
State Sen. Mike Bishop, R-Rochester, said he was completely unprepared
for the attack that left him with with a concussion, a jagged cut over
his right eye requiring seven stitches to close, a chipped tooth,
bruises on his face and a possible broken nose.
''I've never been the victim of a violent crime before,'' Bishop said.
"I grew up with four sisters and it's just not in me.'' He said he
hadn't been in a fight since second grade.
buffalo says I grew up with four sisters and they taught me to expect
the unexpected. I think in order to uphold Detroit's image he should
train with my sisters and request a rematch.
Have a good weekend...buffalo
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This is a true Wolverine Fan!
Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon, an Ohio State fan, a
Michigan fan, a Notre Dame fan, and a Penn State fan.
They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them
was the most "die-hard" fan.
Upon reaching the top of the mountain, the Notre Dame fan proclaimed to
the other four..."This is for the Fighting Irish!" and promptly threw
himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.
Not to be outdone by a Notre Dame fan, the Penn State fan jumped up and
shouted..."This is for the Nittany Lions!" and then threw himself off
Refusing to be outdone by the Notre Dame and Penn State fans, the
Michigan fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs "This
is for the Wolverines!" and without any hesitation, pushed the Ohio
State fan off the mountain.
GO BIG BLUE!!!!
Moms, need a break? Relax with your
favorite beverage and Inspirational Stories
from inspirational moms.
Abe was well known for his cheapness and his 'eye for
a bargain'. One day he was looking for a cheap wedding
present for his niece, so he went into a thrift shop.
As he was walking around, he noticed what was
previously an expensive glass crystal vase lying in
the corner. It was in 3 pieces. After some haggling
with the owner, Abe bought the broken vase for $5. He
then filled in the congratulations card, wrote out his
niece's name and address and gave the owner another $5
so that the broken vase could be gift wrapped and
mailed. Abe then left the shop feeling quite pleased
with himself. He expected his niece to think the vase
had broken in the mail.
A few days later, he called his niece to see if the
present had arrived.
"Yes, Uncle Abe, but unfortunately, it was in 3 pieces
when it was delivered."
"What terrible luck." said Abe, "The Post Office is
getting worse all the time."
"It's a shame," she replied. "It was so beautifully
wrapped. Each piece separately."
( ) Oooo.
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From: Ann Lindholm (_ / AKA: Doubloon
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A Kentucky Phone Company was going to hire a team of telephone pole
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and a team of two Irish guys?
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installs the most phone poles gets the job".
Both teams headed right out. At end of the shift, Pat and Mike, the
Irish guys, came back and the boss asked them how many they had
installed. They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve.
Forty-five minutes later, Bubba and Duke, the redneck guys came back and
they were totally exhausted. The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did
you guys install?" Bubba, the team leader wiped his brow and sighed,
"Duke and me, we got three in." The boss gasped, "Three? Those two Irish
guys put in twelve!"
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Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor
was dependent on parishioners for upkeep and maintenance of the church.
Once he asked my husband, Sam, to rewire the confessionals. The only way
to reach the wiring was to enter the attic above the altar and crawl
over the ceiling by balancing on the rafters. Concerned for my husband's
safety, I waited in a pew. Unbeknownst to me, some parishioners were
congregating in the vestibule. They paid little attention to me,
probably assuming I was praying. Worried about my husband, I looked up
toward the ceiling and yelled, "Sam, Sam -- are you up there? Did you
make it okay?" There was quite an outburst from the vestibule when
Sam's hearty voice echoed down, "Yes, I made it up here just fine!"
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The world's most avid baseball fan, a blonde, had arrived
early at the stadium for the first game of the series between local
rival teams only to realize that she had left her ticket at home. Not
wanting to miss any of the first inning, she went to the ticket booth
and got in a long line for another seat. After an hour's wait she was
just a few feet from the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Linda!"
She looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner of the
voice, but met with no success.
Then she realized she had lost her place in the line, and had to go
back to the end of the line and wait all over again.
After she had purchased her ticket, she was thirsty, so she went to buy
a beer. The line at the concession stand was also very long. But since
the game hadn't started she decided to wait. Just as she got to the
window, a voice called out, "Hey, Linda!"
Again the blonde tried to find the voice and got out of line as she
wandered looking for the owner of the voice. But no luck. The blonde
was very upset as she got back in line for her beer.
Finally she had her beer and took her seat eager for the
game to begin. As she waited for the first pitch, she heard the voice
calling, "Hey, Linda!" once more.
Furious, She stood up and yelled a the top of her lungs,
"My name isn't Linda!"
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Shey.net features an e-mail exchange between Nike customer Jonah Peretti
and Nike customer service representatives at Nike iD, an online service
that lets people personalize their Nike purchases. When Peretti ordered
a pair of sneakers to be customized with the word "sweatshop," Nike
promptly cancelled the order. Via a form e-mail Peretti was informed
that his order had been cancelled "for one or more of the following
1) Your Personal iD contains another party's trademark or other
2) Your Personal iD contains the name of an athlete or team we do not
have the legal right to use.
3) Your Personal iD was left blank. Did you not want any
4) Your Personal iD contains profanity or inappropriate slang, and
besides, your mother would slap us." Peretti replied, pointing out that
his order did not violate any of the criteria given. "I chose the iD
because I wanted to remember the toil and labor of the children that
made my shoes. Could you please ship them to me immediately?" Nike iD -
despite its flagrant use of inappropriate capitalization - responded by
saying that the order had been cancelled because it contained
"inappropriate slang." Peretti then pointed out that "after consulting
Webster's Dictionary," he "discovered that 'sweatshop' is in fact part
of standard English, and not slang." "The word
means: 'a shop or factory in which workers are employed for long hours
at low wages and under unhealthy conditions,'" he explained, "and its
origin dates from 1892." Peretti also reminded Nike iD that its Web site
states that Nike-brand shoe personalization is all about "freedom to
choose and freedom to express who you are." "I was thrilled to be able
to build my own shoes," wrote Peretti, "and my personal iD was offered
as a small token of appreciation for the sweatshop workers poised to
help me realize my vision." Unwilling to be toyed with, Nike iD
retorted, "The rules for personalization also state that 'Nike reserves
the right to cancel any Personal iD up to 24 hours after it has been
submitted,'" and further hinted that Peretti's request might have been
denied because it contained "material that we consider inappropriate or
simply do not want to place on our products." Peretti again responded
stating that he had decided to order the shoes with a different message,
with one small request. "Could you please send me a color snapshot of
the ten-year-old Vietnamese girl who makes my shoes?" His request went
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A man sobering up from the night before is sitting through
the Sunday sermon, finding it long and boring. Still feeling hung over
and tired, he finally nods off.
The priest has been watching him all along, noticing his apparent
hangover and is disgusted. At the end of the sermon, the preacher
decides to make an example of him.
He says to his congregation, "All those wishing to have a
place in heaven, please stand."
The whole room stands up except, of course, the sleeping
Then the preacher says even more loudly, "And those who
would like to find a place in hell, PLEASE STAND UP!"
The weary man, catching only the last part, groggily stands
up, only to find that he's the only one standing.
Confused and embarrassed he says, "I don't know what
we're voting on here, Father, but it sure seems like you
and me are the only ones standing for it!"
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A salesman was going door to door trying to sell his wares. As he walked
up to the next house, he noticed a small boy sitting on the front steps.
"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked the small boy. "Yeah, she's
home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang
the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one
came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you
said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is." The man said,
"Then why doesn't she answer the door when I knock? Is she hard of
hearing?" "She can't hear it," replied the boy, "because I don't live
( ) Oooo.
----------\ (--------( )---------
\_ ) ) /
From: Ann Lindholm (_ / AKA: Doubloon
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