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Clean Chips For Sun

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  • B.Brabant
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Hockey- I am not really a great fan actually of
    Message 1 of 262 , Jun 2, 2002
      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo
      and I have the watch.

      Hockey- I am not really a great fan actually of hockey, its just a part of
      my past. When I was young, there was only one tv channel, Channel 2 , which
      was CBC, the Canadian Broadcasting Company.
      Saturday was "Hockey Night in Canada" and it was the only thing on so if you
      wanted to stare at the tube it was hockey. Most of the true greats have
      come from Canada and in an area not too far from where I am so some of the
      heroes were considered local. This is not and ethnic thing , its just that
      we have ice 6 months out of the year and it is easier for children to play
      hockey than to chase golf balls.
      Play they do , also starting with Peewee Hockey pre-school all the way up to
      the farm clubs for the NHL to keep the high school kids occupied.
      Any how since the only channel was Canadian I believed that the two greatest
      teams on the earth were Montreal and Toronto. Its kinda like growing up as
      a Catholic back then , they told you that Catholics were Christians , they
      just didn't bother telling you that Protestants were too.
      Now hockey has changed . Cities that have never had any ice in the past
      40,000 years are winning the Cup and the Play-offs last almost till football
      starts. We also have to mention the Russian players, with names that we all
      have trouble pronouncing. Seems like they are one of the largest post Cold
      War imports and add enough extra players so that maybe we can add more teams
      and have year round hockey.
      All in All , I am now a Detroit Red Wings and Lake Superior State Lakers fan
      but the greatest game on earth is still Montreal Vs Toronto on a Sat night..
      Enjoy the chips..buffalo


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      Alien Chips From Big Al
      A spaceship lands in the middle of Texas.
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      leader, "Y'all got them long black coats?"
      To which the Martian says, "No, only the Hasidim."


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      Heavy Chips From Squirrel Bait

      Buffalo had been experiencing chronic problems with back pain, so he visited
      his doctor.

      The good doctor, after giving him a thorough examination, said grimly,
      "Mr.Brabant, I am sorry to have to say this, but if you want to get well
      again you would have to lose a foot."

      "What!" I exclaimed. "You mean my foot has to be amputated?"

      "Oh, no, no!" replied the good doctor, vociferously. "I mean you have to
      lose a foot from around your waistline!"



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      Wheel Chips

      A Martian lands his spaceship in the middle of Brooklyn. when he gets out
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      Computer Chips

      CD-ROM Drive: Useful for holding coffee cups. Also used to read a "Hard
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      Computer: A machine that looks like a TV screen except you can't watch shows
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      Desktop: The surface of the piece of office furniture on which your Computer
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      Keyboard: Useful for typing, but only when it's not plugged in. Also used to
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      Modem: See "Hard Drive". You never need a modem to access the Internet.

      Mouse: This is a term technical types use for the Computer's foot-pedal. The
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      Cabby Chips

      A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence
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      On Husband-and-Wife day at La Quinta in Palm Springs, a player drove
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      "Wow, that's really good, "Dave answers with a hint of envy in his voice and
      reluctantly hands him $20 bill. "It seems like you were only out on the
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      An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual
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      From The Buffalos Mail Box

      Around the scuttlebutt with the Buffalo
      ( A modern scuttlebutt is a water cooler and on old ships as sailors stood
      around the water cask rumors, sea stories and useful info was spread )

      Dear Baffulo,

      Why it is that you seem to hit the right buttons?

      In !956 I got a job at the local (indoor) theater (The Scott Theater,
      Scottsburg, IN). My duties included, cleaning up the theater after school (I
      was a Sophamore and would come into the theater after school and clean it up
      from the night before), collecting tickets (I stayed in the theater after
      cleaning (do my homework) until it opened for the night), selling popcorn
      and candy (I ran the consession booth), acting as the usher (if needed), and
      clearing the theater after the movie was over.

      The family that owned the indoor theater also owned the outdoor (Moonglo)
      theater. For the next few seasons, I worked the indoor and the outdoor
      theaters. The Scott Theater (indoor) did not have air conditioning,
      therefore, when the weather became "warm" the "family" would close the
      indoor and open the outdoor (Moonglo) drive-in. I then would move to the
      drive-in and continue my duties (cleaning up from the night before and
      working in the Consession Booth). Until Fall when the Moonglo would close
      and the indoor theater would open for the winter. This went on for a couple
      of years and when I turned 16, the "family" then gave me the responsibility
      of "Driving the Jeep". This meant that I sold the tickets at the entrance
      booth, and later, instead of working in the Consessionn Booth, I drove the
      jeep. My duties included ensuring the moral standards (no sex on the
      back row, I especially looked for the steamed-up windows), no one stole a
      speaker (waiting at the exit for them to turn them in when they "accidently'
      ripped one lose), and, directing the traffic at the exit after the movie
      (ably assisted by the local "County Mounty"). And, the next day cleaning up.

      Don of Niagara Falls

      Sometimes things just don't go right:
      Fishing License

      In 1979, I was stationed at Ft Carson, CO. My friend Bill Beaver (SFC, MP
      Corps) invited me to go fishing. The only problem was that I did not have CO
      Fishing License. And, this is where the rub began:

      Because I was in the Army, I could get my CO fishing license at the Ft
      Carson Rod & Gun Club. So here I go. (In CO the fishing license is a
      combined hunting and fishing license.) So, I approached the desk at the Rod
      & Gun Club and was greeted by a very pleasant (and eye appealing) young
      lady. I informed her that I wanted CO Hunting and Fishing License and
      provided my identification. She pointed to a sign and stated that I must
      take the gun safety course before I could receive my license.

      I read the sign, ³If you were born after 16 August 1963, you must take the
      Gun Safety Course prior to receiving CO Hunting and Fishing License.² I was
      born on 13 May 1942. So the following conversation took place:

      ³I was born before 1963.²

      ³No, you were not.²

      ³Yes, I was.²

      ³NO, you were not.²

      ³YES, I WAS!²

      ³NO, you were not. Let me show you. 1942 is after 1963; when I count 1963,
      1962, 1961, etc., until you get to 1942. As you can see 1942 is after 1963.²

      ³Can I speak to your supervisor?²

      She called her supervisor (a retired E-7) and she explained to him the
      problem. He looked knowingly at me, gave me the ³Marine Corps Salute²,
      ordered the young lady to give me my license, and told her to come to his
      office afterward for "additional training".
      Don of Niagara Falls

      Amazing 20 Dollar Bill

      Hope you are able to get this. It is really something.


      In a message dated 06/01/2002 2:56:53 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
      buffalo@... writes:

      << Dave G. Safety Harbor,

      If you read today's issue, then you know American Airport Security went
      after an 85 year old Grandma, in the U.S.

      Canadians get much the same treatment going through US border crossings.

      Sept.11 changed all us and many things, not all for the better.

      Dianne >>

      Hi Buff..... if you type "granny" in the search line and scroll down to #4.
      you'll see that the story about the airport isn't true
      <A HREF="http://www.snopes2.com/ "> Click here: Urban Legends Reference

      Buffalo says I think we all figured that out when it mentioned her doing
      victory laps for a half hour on the security guard with her scooter.
      True or not I love them , and they are interactive. Everyone gets a
      chance to search to see if they are true or not.


      About the lack of Canadian hockey teams...

      After the dismal showing of the American Team at the Olympics a few months
      ago, the Canadian Hockey Teams agreed to let the
      American teams have a go....

      After all, most Canadian teams can win just about any time they want!!!!

      So there...


      Buffalo says Plus the Stanley cup is about who can afford the best
      Canadian Players and we pay ours in U.S. Funds heh heh.


      Sorry to hear about your brother's problems entering Canada...it is unusual
      and he seems to have gotten a raw deal...this is not the way Canadians want
      be assured. I am assuming your brother attempted his border crossing after
      9/11. Take my word for it...the increased caution works both ways going
      over our undefended border.

      But such is not a new phenomenon. In March of 2000 I was sent a plane
      ticket to fly to Harrisburg PA by an old friend who lives down there. Not
      anticipating any problems with what should be essentially a domestic flight
      in view of the long association of our countries I packed lightly taking
      along my medications and a couple of changes of clothes. I was nicely but
      not over dressed and as per routine stopped at the customs kiosk to identify
      myself, my reason fo travel, etc., all the usual drill...among the questions
      I was asked was what did I do for a living. I explained I was on a
      government disability pension. when they enquired the nature of the
      disability I explained I was diagnosed as bipolar, which I had to clarify to
      the gentleman as manic depressive. (Good news by the way Buff...I disovered
      that for the last 5 years they have treated me for the wrong problem; I am
      not bipolar...I suffer BPD...similar in cause and to a degree in effect but
      not totally similar in treatment though many of the drugs used are the same
      since both are serotonin uptake problems)

      I was asked to go off into the little side room reserved for more intensive
      determination of my fitness to visit a friend where a brusque but not
      impolite gentleman from the Justice Department proceeded to question me very
      closely on my reasons for travelling, who was my friend, what were the pills
      in my luggage, why did I carry a jackknife (2" blade in my pocket) and a
      number of other good sensible officious cop type questions. This took a
      little over two hours. Just prior to my flight being announced
      (simultaneously almost) I was told that if I wanted to cross the border I
      had to get verification from my family doctor, my psychiatrist, and someone
      in an official capacity who knew me, such as a police chief, etc. that I was
      not a danger to myself or others if they let me on a plane to go see an old
      flame I went to high school with.

      Being Canadian, I didn't cuss him out...though I did want to...I did express
      an opinion of where the red tape would fit...and I waited an additional 6
      hours for the bus to take me back home (about 200 miles). I was not in a
      cheerful frame of mind by any means. Now you must bear in mind that this
      was long before 9/11/01. I was effectively weaponless, carrying medications
      prescribed to control my medical condition in a quantity insufficient to
      render anyone unconscious let alone kill...I was in a positive frame of mind
      and not showing any signs of disturbance. They wouldn't (and likely moreso
      now still won't) let me cross the border...though to all intents and
      purposes I am as normal as the next person.


      Way back in high school we learned that both scales share a common point
      at -40. (-40F &-40C are the same)

      Start the conversion, in either direction, by adding 40. You can
      intuitively determine whether your conversion result will be a larger or
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      . No need to worry about adding 32 first, or subtracting later.
      You should be able to do it in your head



      When it's springtime in the UP
      And the gentle breezes blow,
      About seventy miles an hour
      And it's fifty-two below.

      You can tell you're in the U P
      'cause the snow's up to your butt,
      And you take a breath of springtime air
      And your nose holes both freeze shut.

      The weather here is wonderful,
      So I guess I'll hang around,
      I could never leave the UP
      My feet are frozen to the ground.


      Hi Buffalo;
      How goes it? Been writing you at buffalo@..., have you changed
      services? The following came from an old friend, though you might. THANKS
      so much for the Memorial Days chips. It has been that long ago an I can
      just now talk about it some. An amazing number of us apparently still feel
      the pain. Your chips helped a lot on closure, easing the pain even though I
      guess it will follow me and some others to our grave. Take care
      ----- Original Message -----
      From: Robert L. Williams
      Sent: Friday, May 10, 2002 11:03 AM
      Subject: Fw: LEST WE FORGET


      The service station trade was slow
      The owner sat around,
      With sharpened knife and cedar stick
      Piled shavings on the ground.
      No modern facilities had they,
      The log across the rill
      Led to a shack, marked His and Hers
      That sat against the hill.
      "Where is the ladies restroom, sir?"
      The owner leaning back,
      Said not a word but whittled on,
      And nodded toward the shack. With quickened step she entered there
      But only stayed a minute,
      Until she screamed, just like a snake
      Or spider might be in it.
      With startled look and beet red face
      She bounded through the door,
      And headed quickly for the car
      Just like three gals before.
      She missed the foot log - jumped the stream
      The owner gave a shout,
      As her silk stockings, down at her knees
      Caught on a sassafras sprout.
      She tripped and fell - got up, and then
      In obvious disgust,
      Ran to the car, stepped on the gas,
      And faded in the dust.
      Of course we all desired to know
      What made the gals all do
      The things they did, and then we found
      The whittling owner knew.
      A speaking system he'd devised
      To make the thing complete,
      He tied a speaker on the wall
      Beneath the toilet seat.
      He'd wait until the gals got set
      And then the devilish tike,
      Would stop his whittling long enough,
      To speak into the mike.
      And as she sat, a voice below
      Struck terror, fright and fear,
      "Will you please use the other hole,
      We're painting under here!"

      I was a pig boat sailor on a WW2 Pig Boat (USS JALAO SS 368) but well after
      WW2 was over.

      SPECIAL FEATURE (By Bob "Dex" Armstrong):
      The Men With The Pin

      They returned ... Thousands of them... No, they numbered in the hundreds of
      thousands... Faces weather beaten, tanned... Smiling as they stepped down
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      that 'Damn!! It's great to be home!' smile.

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      who left their homes and families to undertake the obligation of
      freedom-loving men to go into combat and ultimately defeat some of the most
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      olive drab can... In a Dutch ditch... In the rain.

      Men who fought wars that lasted years, rather than days and ended with a
      clear-cut result. For those of us who rode boats that went below the
      surface, there were men who rode our boats when the close aboard sound of
      fifty pounds of TNT detonating would be clearly heard through several inches
      of steel. That 'steel' was U.S. built pressure hull and audible public
      prayer could be heard in every compartment. And when it was over, hardened
      men could hug each other, secure in the knowledge that no one would feel
      that they might be gender-confused.

      These same men knew the sound of torpedo hits and the telltale sound of the
      result of such hits as the bulkheads of an enemy target collapsed while the
      enemy vessel made it's way to the bottom. Pressure-folding steel is a sound
      most of us will never hear, thanks to what these men did.

      They had executed their war way beyond the established battle lines... Deep
      within the home waters of the Jap Empire. At a time when the Jap emperor and
      his militaristic toadies were assuring their easily duped people that they
      were secure, the people of Japan witnessed their merchant ships burning all
      along their coastal horizons. Ships, whose burning hulks were disappearing
      nightly, compliments of our Undersea Warriors.

      So they returned ... What was left of them. They crossed the brow of boats
      that wore freshly painted enemy flags... Flags that chronicled their
      kills... A silent statement of their contribution to our victorious effort
      in the Pacific. It may have been a Silent Service, but little Jap flags
      painted on the sides of conning towers made it clear that the presence of
      our submarine force had been felt.

      And above the jumper pockets of the men crossing to the pier, could be found
      the sterling silver representation of a submarine. The pin itself and each
      star worn below it, represented a war patrol which resulted in excess of ten
      thousand tons of enemy shipping sent to the bottom. The man or men who wrote
      the requirements for the awarding of that insignia wrote those requirements
      in such rigid and specific terms that the pin has never been watered down
      and reduced to the 'Crackerjack' prize that so many other military badges
      have become.

      Today, the U.S. Submarine Combat Patrol Pin remains a symbol of men who have
      gone to sea and have drawn blood in defense of their country and way of life
      at the risk of their personal safety... If not the sacrifice of their

      Someday, the powers that decide such things, will come to their senses and
      will stop naming our submarines after geographical locations and hack
      politicians and start naming our undersea warships after the heroes who wore
      'The Pin'. Why they feel compelled to look elsewhere when we have such
      towering heroes of our own makes no sense to this old E-3. They named a
      whole class of tin cans after Admiral Arliegh Burke, proving that they can
      do it right... At times.

      But, the men who parked torpedoes in the sides of so many enemy ships, held
      no inflated sense of their own importance. When you try to thank the old
      meat-eaters, they always reply with,

      "Hell, I was young, scared and just doing my job."

      Volunteering for submarine duty in wartime has never been routinely expected
      of U.S. Sailors. Volunteering has never been an exercise in goat-roping the
      timid and reluctant. The Draft Board never forced any citizen to fill the
      ranks of the Submarine Service. Any man, who found wartime employment inside
      a pressure hull, was there because he put himself there.

      "Just doing my job."


      Who in their right mind would choose a line of work that included sitting,
      sweat-soaked in darkness, 400 feet below fresh air and sunshine listening to
      canisters of high explosive detonate and shatter gauge faces and
      incandescent bulbs?

      "Just doing my job."

      To buy that, would mean that our Submarine Force was comprised of the worlds
      largest collection of complete raving lunatics. The last idiot who called a
      World War II submariner a complete lunatic is still trying to get used to
      his new glass eye, figuring out how to talk with his new teeth and walk

      They are ours... They handed us an unblemished record of service 'faithfully
      performed'... A gallant record of deeds performed by incredibly brave and
      dedicated men.

      Their ranks thin daily. We do not have a lot of time left to buy them a
      beer... Listen to their amazing stories and thank them for what they gave us
      and left in the pages of the history of The United States Navy.

      These men did for years without honor, or news coverage or even a pat on the
      back, almost without notice, what the NY firemen and policemen did for a few
      hours and are still, months later being lavished with reward. What's wrong
      with this picture? Yes, I'm getting bitter, enough is enough and wrong is
      wrong no matter what name you put on it. This is not to say the firemen and
      policemen were not heroes, not men and women of high quality and dedication
      to their fellow humans. However, they have no right to be added to the
      Memorial Day celebration, anymore than the victims from Okalahoma. There
      were not as many people involved, but was not the sacrifice as great, the
      pain as vast. Yes they all paid the supreme price but they didn't face the
      horror and fear of combat daily, years on end. They didn't go into harms way
      willingly despite the possible outcome. They didn't knowingly lay their life
      on the line 24/7 for their fellow man. Give them their own days, that they
      deserve. Call it The National Day of Reconciliation, that's really what it
      was, or Day of Remembrance or some like. But don't lump it with the
      military Memorial Day the feeling of course are as intense but the way they
      came about so very different. When was the last time you heard and ordinary
      seaman or other regular military person called a hero? They with out a doubt
      are hero's but few see it that way. Thank God we still have men and women,
      military men and women, who go in harms way and ask no notice. Fair is not
      a word many of them use. Many of today's populations, both here an
      elsewhere fail to realize if they enjoy life, success and freedom they must
      daily or even more often thank the teacher who gave them the skills to be
      successful and the veteran who make it possible to use these skills in
      freedom. You have the best web site going. Many of us old military duffers
      need the support of other military people and the look into their past to
      try and make sense out of our past and find closure with the horror of war
      and the stress of many years in harms way. From time to time I see someone
      wants you to change your material. Please, please don't change your program
      to suit those who have never been there, if they don't like what they see
      you give them plenty notice of what is coming up, they can simply click
      next. The rest of us need the whole message to laugh, to learn, to reflect,
      to understand, to forget the bad experiences, the horror of war, the pain of
      injury, lost friends, missed futures, and scarred souls. There are
      thousands and thousands of sites and opinions on the inter-net, if there is
      one putting out a more needed messages than yours I have yet to find it,
      please don't change, your understanding is far too important, your need too

      Full sails and following seas to you and yours.

      Don Grantham


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    • William Brabant
      My name is buffalo and I have the watch. Eleven years ago, I lost one of the few cats that ever became attached to. I still swear that she never left as late
      Message 262 of 262 , Aug 4, 2013
        My name is buffalo and I have the watch.

        Eleven years ago, I lost one of the few cats
        that ever became attached to. I still swear that
        she never left as late at night, out of the corner
        of my eye as I was working on the chips, I could
        see a flash of her tabby colors as she jumped up
        on the workstation to talk to me. We have had a lot
        of cats and even a few dogs spend som time here
        while PAWS found their owners or permanent homes
        but none will ever be a Picky. Here is her story.

        Miss Picky
        One of the first cats we took in was a female tabby of unknown age.
        Buffy was in charge of naming the animals and because of her choice of
        diet, she was named Miss Picky Jane . She had been found near a farm
        several miles away and once word of mouth gets out that you will take
        animals in, people find you. She must have had a rough life as she had
        had her hips injured at one time and didn't like to be handled roughly
        or have people touch her tail.

        Picky was definitely a people cat though and she waited by the door to
        greet each person as they came up with a friendly meow and would settle
        into their lap the minute they sat down. Everyone in the neighborhood
        knew her because she would talk to them as they came up to the door or
        walked down the sidewalk. She loved being outside and dreaded the days
        of winter and would go out on the porch during a thaw and stare at the
        snow with a disgusted look on her face, mad at nature for spoiling her
        fun. She knew my car and as I pulled up she would run up and let me set
        her on my shoulder and we would go into the house like that till we got
        to the couch and then she would hop off. Years went by and though she
        had some physical changes her likes and dislikes never changed. Her
        favorite foods were Whiskas in the morning and whatever I was eating at
        supper . I would get her a saucer and put some of my meal on it for her.
        At nighttime she liked to have a little ice cream, the soupy part was
        fine with her. Then at bedtime the minute the lights were out she was
        there for a little affection before she left to guard the house from
        stray dogs , chipmunks, and bad cats.

        I estimate her age as having been around 16-17 years old and the last
        year was hard on her she had lost her hearing and was losing weight and
        finally during the last week she was unsteady on her feet and stopped
        eating. Buffy took her out to the vet Wed and their diagnosis was kidney
        failure and congestive heart failure from old age. I asked them to do
        some blood work but she passed away Wed night at the animal hospital. I
        felt bad that she had not died at home with us but I had to take a
        chance that they could do something. I picked her up and with a prayer
        of thanks for the many years she had spent with us I buried her beside
        the porch where she had greeted so many over the years.

        Enjoy the chips... buff


        Flying Chips

        A 50-something year old Muslim man arrived at his seat on a crowded flight
        and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to an elderly white
        woman reading her Bible.

        Disgusted, the Muslim man immediately summoned the flight attendant and
        demanded a new seat. The man said "I cannot sit here next to this infidel."
        The flight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat."

        After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "There are no
        more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there
        is something in first class."

        About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The
        captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is
        one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from
        economy to first class, but, being that it would be some sort of scandal to
        force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to
        make the switch to first class."

        Before the irate Muslim man could say anything, the attendant gestured to
        the elderly woman and said, "Therefore, maam, if you would so kindly
        retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of
        first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant

        Passengers in the seats nearby began to applaud while some gave a standing


        Baking Chips

        Be Careful, Your Sins May Find You Out.

        Have you ever told a white lie? Then you are
        going to love this. For all ladies who bake for
        church events . . .

        Alice was to bake a cake for the church ladies'
        group bake sale, but she forgot to do it until the
        last minute. She baked an angel food cake and
        when she took it from the oven, the center had
        dropped flat.

        She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another
        cake." So, she looked around the house for
        something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found
        it in the bathroom, a small roll of toilet paper. She
        plunked it into the middle of the cake and then
        covered it with icing.

        The finished product looked beautiful, so she
        rushed it to the church. Alice then gave her daughter
        some money and instructions to be at the
        sale the minute it opened and to buy that cake and
        bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale,
        the attractive cake had already been sold.

        Alice was beside herself. A couple of days later,
        Alice was invited to a friend's home where two tables
        of bridge were to be played that afternoon. After the
        game, a fancy lunch was served, and to top it off,
        the cake in question was presented for dessert.

        Alice saw the cake, she started to get out of her chair
        to rush into the kitchen to tell her hostess all about it,
        but before she could get to her feet, one of the other
        ladies said, "What a beautiful cake!"

        Alice sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess
        (a prominent church member) say:

        "Why thank you; I baked it myself."


        Indian Chips

        Once upon a time in Colorado, the chief of an Indian tribe, the
        Navajo's, had a very beautiful daughter. She was of marrying age and
        many braves were wanting the daughter's hand in marriage.

        Being a wise chief, he decided that he wanted his daughter to marry the
        bravest and strongest and wisest brave of the bunch. So he held a
        contest. All the eliigible bachelors were to go hunting. The brave that
        brought back the biggest and best 'catch' would be given the chief's
        daughter in marriage.

        Alot of braves turned out for this event. On Monday morning they all set
        out, bows and arrows in hand. Tuesday afternoon comes and all the braves
        had returned with their killings--except for three: Running Bear,
        Sitting Bull, and Falling Rock.

        On Wednesday morning, Running Bear finally returns; bringing in a really
        big black bear, weighing 480 ponds and is 7 feet in length. Obviously,
        the chief was quite impressed. This was the best killing of all....so
        far. But, of course, they had to wait for the remaining two before he
        could award his daughter to Running Bear.

        On Wednesday night, under a full moon, Sitting Bull returns to the camp
        and brings back a really big cougar: it's even bigger than the black
        bear Running Bear came home with! The cougar weighed 620 pounds and was
        7-1/2 feet long. Clearly, Sitting Bull was about to win the chief's
        daughter in marriage.

        Excitement rose within the camp. Everyone was pretty sure that Falling
        Rock would not be able to top Sitting Bull's catch.

        Thursday comes and goes. Friday came and went.....Saturday came and
        went......The weeks turn into months, and soon, the months into years,
        and still....Falling Rock did not return.

        It was soon getting obvious, the aging chief could not wait forever for
        Falling Rock to return. So he granted his daughter to Sitting Bull.
        There was much celebrating, after which the pair lived happily ever

        The tribe no longer waited for the wayward brave, but they did keep
        their eyes open whenever they rode the trails---just in case.

        And today? Well, you will still see in Colorado those signs that say...

        "Watch for Falling Rock".


        Baptist Chips

        A Southern Baptist preacher was preparing to have a Lord's Supper at his
        church and, in preparing, he came to the realization that Jesus used
        wine, not un-fermented grape juice, at the Last Supper. Since Jesus
        used wine, he felt that he should as well. During the sermon he
        explained that the church would be using wine for the Lord's Supper and
        why. The reaction from most people was neutral or positive, but there
        was one lady - a widow who had donated the land the church was built on.
        The pastor watched her during the Lord's Supper and noticed that she did
        not drink the wine, so he made a pastoral visit to her that after noon.

        "Preacher," the widow said, "Alcohol has never passed my lips in 76
        years and it isn't going to start now."

        The pastor replied: "But you do realize, that Jesus drank wine, don't

        "Yes." she said in a bit of a huff. "And I lost a lot of respect for
        him when I learned that he drank wine."


        Please forgive our lack of a fancy template at the moment and
        enjoy these pages from our friends.


        Preparing To Meet The Dog

        Koala's In A Heatwave!

        Ricochet The Surf Dog!

        Extreme Camping!

        Cute PDF Writer


        Marriage Chips

        Congratulating a friend after her son and daughter got married within a
        month of each other, a woman asked, "What kind of boy did your daughter

        "Oh, he's wonderful," gushed the mother. "He lets her sleep late, wants
        her to go to the beauty parlor regularly, and insists on taking her out
        to dinner every night."

        "That's nice," said the woman. "What about your son?"

        "I'm not so happy about that," the mother sighed. "His wife sleeps late,
        spends all her time in the beauty parlor, and makes them eat take-out


        Golf Chips

        Standing on the tee of a relatively long par three, a confident golfer
        said to his caddy, "Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me."

        The caddy suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a 4-iron, then
        a wedge, THEN a putt.

        The golfer was insulted and proceeded to scream and yell at the caddy
        telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare he
        underestimate his game!

        Giving in the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for.

        He then proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen
        yards off the front of the tee.

        Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, "And now for one
        heck of a putt..."


        Short Chips

        "John, I can see that all your buttons are sewed on perfectly. You must
        be married!"

        "That's right. Sewing on buttons was the first thing my wife taught me
        on our honeymoon."


        Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates,
        a Father asked the boy how much his last date had cost.

        The son calculated a minute then replied, "Oh, about $15
        or so I think."

        "Well," said the Father, "I'm proud of you for finally
        coming up with an inexpensive evening."

        "To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have done more,
        but that was all the money she had."



        Parting Chips

        Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the
        family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune once
        his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his

        One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he
        had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

        "I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few
        years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

        Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

        Three days later, she became his stepmother.

        Women are so much better at estate planning than men.


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        Remember 9/11/01

        Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this opt-in mailing list

        In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

        William Brabant
        711 Pine Street Apt.1
        Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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