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  • buffalos3@webtv.net
    Clean Clean Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My name is Buffalo and I have the watch. Last night in the Mail Box Anne talked about her
    Message 1 of 55 , Oct 1, 2001
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      Clean Clean

      Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
      name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

      Last night in the Mail Box Anne talked about her pet peeve "To all
      people who make price signs:
      If you are talking about cents, you don't need to use the decimal
      When people write .25 cents, it's like says 1/4 of a penny!

      While using decimal points incorrectly for her is an annoyance , in
      manufacturing and other businesses .0002 ( Two Ten-Thousandths
      of an inch) can render a very expensive part worthless. Even more
      dangerous is a person who is thinking I have to make a change in
      size of three thousandths of an inch .003 and instead types in 3.00
      into his computer controlled machine which in a few seconds makes
      a heart stopping crash . I was called in one night after a lathe
      from just that scenario. A 50 lb. part turning at about 900 r.p.m. had
      been ripped out of the chuck and after destroying 1000 dollars worth
      of tooling , knocking a window out of the lathe, flying six feet, and
      smashing the motor on a pump on the machine next to it. The problem
      was not with a careless operator or a defective machine, it was with
      the way we are taught math these days. Most decimal training is with
      money and when more complicated problems in math or sciences
      come up the student whips out a calculator . When a mistake is made
      it is not realized until it is too late because the person has not
      enough problems by hand before to realize that his answer is
      wrong. These mistakes are all too frequent in my business I hope it
      the same in businesses like medicine where they deal with milligrams
      and micrograms. Oh well that's my rant for the week , enjoy the chips.


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      Deja Chips from Rubin

      Deja ?

      You've probably heard of "deja vu," the illusion of having previously
      experienced a situation that is happening now. Here are some
      related expressions

      Feel like I've...
      ...milked this cow before: deja moo
      ...seen this strange animal before: deja gnu
      ...smelled this bad odor before: deja phew
      ...visited this menagerie before: deja zoo
      ...scared this person away before: deja boo
      ...read this mystery book before: deja clue
      ...been in this courtroom before: deja sue
      ...felt this bad before: deja rue
      ...felt this sad before: deja blue
      ...expanded this way before: deja grew
      ...seen this slime before: deja goo
      ...learned this stuff before: deja knew
      ...waited in line before: deja queue
      ...eaten this dinner before: deja stew
      ...pursued this person before: deja woo
      ...forgotten this your name before: deja who
      ...had this feeling of deja vu before: deja too
      ...seen these twins before: deja two
      ...used this beer recipe before: deja brew
      ...been on this airplane before: deja flew
      ...came up with this innovation before: deja new
      ...fed these pigeons before: deja coo
      ...sketched this portrait before: deja drew
      ...ended this relationship before: deja through
      ...felt this ill before: deja flu
      ...sheared this sheep before: deja ewe
      ...munched on this gum ball before: deja chew
      ...sat through this sermon before: deja pew
      ...played in this wet grass before: deja dew
      ...admired this scenery before: deja ooo
      ...lost it under the bed before: deja shoo
      ...exposed the real facts before: deja true


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      Groaner Short Chips

      Doing sit-ups is just waisting time.

      Food that goes rotten while being transported to the store is

      Sign on a bakers shop: Come in, I knead the dough!

      Would a manufacturer of gentlemen's headwear describe his job as

      The dry cleaner wanted to go an a date, but found he was too pressed

      When Chief Shortcake died, squaw bury Shortcake.

      I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's
      one called brightness, but it doesn't work.


      Toon Chips

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      Totally Serious!
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      http://dailymegajoke.com/toons.php?00030247 What is your best golf

      http://dailymegajoke.com/toons.php?00030250 All Gore is being a Baby!


      Little Johnny Chips

      The visiting church school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible
      class who broke down the walls of Jericho. Little Johnny replies that
      does not know, but it definitely is not him.
      The supervisor, taken aback by this lack of basic Bible knowledge goes
      to the school principal and relates the whole incident.
      The principal replies that he knows little Johnny as well as his whole
      family very well and can vouch for them, if little Johnny said that he
      did not do it, he as principal is satisfied that it is the truth.
      Even more appalled the inspector goes to the regional Head of
      and relates the whole story.
      After listening he replies: "I cannot see why you are making such a
      issue out of this; we will get three quotations and fix the darned


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      Short Chips

      A factory owner said to a store owner, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, for
      patronage. I wish I had twenty customers like you."
      "Gosh, it's nice to hear that, but I'm kind of surprised," admitted
      Smith. "You know that I argue every bill and always pay late."
      The factory owner said, "I'd still like twenty customers like you. The
      problem is, I have two hundred."


      A widow recently married to a widower was accosted by a friend who
      laughingly remarked:
      "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your
      husband sometimes talks about his first wife?"
      "Oh, not any more, he doesn't," the other replied.
      "What stopped him?"
      "I started talking about my next husband."


      Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his
      father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the
      den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached
      ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the
      violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to
      floor and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, can't you play
      something the dog doesn't know?!"


      Teacher: Why are you late?
      Little Johnny: Because of the sign.
      Teacher: What sign?
      Little Johnny: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow.
      "That's what I did."


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      Golf Chips

      The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin
      Netanyahu, the leader of Israel. "Your Holiness", said one of his
      Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the
      friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic
      The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf
      in his hand. "Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?" he asked.
      "None that plays very well," a Cardinal replied. "But," he
      added, "there
      is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout
      Catholic. We can offer to make him a Cardinal, then ask him to play
      Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition, to showing our
      spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."
      Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course,
      Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match,
      Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. "I
      have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness," said the
      "Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.
      "Well, your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've
      some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I
      ever played, by far. I must've been inspired from above. My drives
      long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting
      perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous.
      "There's bad news?", the Pope asked.
      "Yes," Nicklaus sighed. "I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by three



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      A doctor stayed home from work one day because his toilet was clogged,
      and he couldn't get a plumber to make a housecall at any other time.
      The plumber finally arrived several hours late. He spent about 15
      minutes clearing the blockage in the toilet, and then he told the
      doctor, "That'll be $150, please."
      Almost instantly, the doctor began to shout, "Are you out of your
      fucking mind??? *I* am a doctor, and even *I* don't make $150 in 15
      But the plumber explained, "I know how it is, doc. *I* used to be a
      doctor too, but I had to switch professions so I could start making
      decent money!"


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      Horse Chips

      Abe ran into Moishe one afternoon. "Moishe, nu? What's new?"

      "Abe, I'm into racehorses at the moment. I have a couple of real
      and have won a lot of money already."

      "How can I get into it Moishe?"

      "Well, I have a horse I'm looking to sell. It has had 24 starts and
      nine. I'll let you have it for $120,000."

      Abe agreed and gave Moishe a cheque for $120,000. Three days later,
      was excitedly waiting at the front gate for his horse to arrive. The
      van pulled up and inside was a dead racehorse.

      A month later, Abe runs into Moishe, who has been avoiding him the
      last few
      weeks. "Moishe, nu? What's new?"

      "Umm, things are well, and with you?"

      "Things are great!"

      "Abe, you're not upset I sold you a dead racehorse?"

      "Not at all Moishe. In fact, it made me a lot of money."

      "How is that? It was dead!"

      "Well, I had a raffle. I sold 100,000 tickets at $5 a ticket with the
      as the prize."

      "Wasn't the winner upset he won a dead racehorse?"

      Abe shrugs, "So, I gave him back his $5!"


      The Herbal Buffalo ( More Jokes after this section)


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      Karate Chips

      Harold's new job had him working really late. He decides to get his
      a watchdog. He goes to the pet store and asks for a Doberman.
      The employee said, "If its a guard dog you want I have a dog just for
      you." The man walks to the back of the store to get a dog and comes
      with a little poodle.
      Harold says, "This small thing, a watch dog? You're kidding, right?"
      The employee says, "No, this dog is special; he knows karate."
      "Karate? I don't believe it," Harold says.
      The employee puts the dog down and says, "Karate the sign." And he
      points to a sign advertising dog food. The dog runs up and rips the
      to shreds.
      Harold is amazed at this. The employee then says, "Karate the chair."
      And he points to a chair in the corner. The dog runs up and rips the
      chair to shreds. By now Harold is convinced.
      "I'll take him," he says.
      When he gets home he surprises his wife and she laughs and says, "This
      little thing, a watch dog? No way."
      Harold says, "But this dog knows karate."
      "Yeah, Karate, my foot!", she exclaims.



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      From The Buffalos Mail Box

      Dear Buffalo,
      I haven't been a member for too long, but, have thoroughly
      enjoyed your pages. I'm not sure which I enjoy the most, tho, your
      pages or your comments. You make me think of myself with them
      because you aren't afraid of saying what is on your mind. I like
      that in a person. I like being open and honest and putting all cards
      on the table. Thanks for letting me see there are others that do the
      same. Keep up the good work.

      ( GMTA Kathy )

      In regard to Ann Short's suggestion that we send greeting cards to
      New York firefighters to let them how much we appreciate them, why
      not also enclose a $20 bill, or more. We all have computers, and a
      service provider, so I imagine we can all afford to let go of a
      little (more) cash too.
      Debbie in Indiana

      From Friday's Chips
      Our worst enemy is inaction. Don't kneel and pray. Get up and MOVE.

      From the point of view of someone who does both pray and get up and
      move, why shouldn't we stop and kneel and pray?? IF it makes us feel
      better what is it hurting?? I was a volunteer fire fighter for 7
      years. There were several times we prayed when we got back to the
      station thanking God for our safety and asking that He be with those
      we just helped.
      I suppose you are against prayer being allowed in schools too. No I
      am not saying make everyone pray, but my children should be allowed
      that choice of whether or not they want to without fear of repraisal.
      We all handle our fears in different manners. heaven forbid you
      should be tolerant of someone else's way.

      Walmart is finally dying off

      geez, this is funny.
      that crazed person complaining about you spreading your 'anti-walmart
      propaganda' causing good working americans to lose their jobs is
      maybe she's even a hypocrite. using the far fetched reasoning she
      what if by saying she doesn't want any part of your list because of
      'anti-walmart' postings, your list gets a bad rep, goes down (like
      ever going to happen), causes you to stop your use of yahoo and webtv
      services, causing them to go just under budget, causing those
      companies to
      go down or downsize causing thousands of innocent workers to lose
      damn eh?
      to sum it up, i must say one word:

      Ryan Peachey

      Trying to Kill My Husband"

      My ex-husband and I fought constantly,
      Why I married him, I'll never know.
      For all those miserable years I said
      My hubby has got to go!

      Tried poisoning cakes, stripping his brakes,
      Salting his pork chops with lime.
      Wiring his chair, igniting his hair
      Even though playing with fire is a crime.

      But I failed at each plot 'til I suddenly thought
      Of a way that would set me free!
      I got rid of him for good and, know what?
      They couldn't do a thing to me!

      I took him back to Walmart!
      They'll take anything back you know!
      They said they couldn't recall selling him,
      But they must have if I said so.

      They just credited him to my Visa and said,
      "Ya'll come back now, 'ya hear?"
      They were so nice, polite, pleasant and insistent,
      I took back his mother the next year!

      They'll take anything back at Walmart,
      Though it's broken or rotten or sweet.
      And know what else? This time of year
      You don't even need a receipt!

      I hope No one would try to publish a song about that SON OF A BITCH
      bin laden.A joke about him is neat but I would sure hate to hear a
      song about him every time I turned on the radio. Im sure his
      followers would like it though.
      The letter about the German ship was very nice I sent it on and was
      told there was many tears . May God Bless all our people over
      there.Keep up the good work.

      ( You mean like this one?)


      the devil came down on NYC
      he was lookin for souls to steal
      and he was in a bind
      cause he was way behind
      with an arab he'd made a deal

      when he killed Our own on American soil
      We knew it was an evil plot
      Bush stepped upon that podium
      said" boy let me tell you what:

      I bet you didn't know it
      but We got plans of our own too.
      and if you care to take a dare
      I'll make a bet with you.

      you may have begun this battle boy,
      but give America it's due
      We're gonna find you know matter where you go
      We'll win this war against you.

      The Marine said:
      My names Johnny
      this is where I come in
      I'm part of this bet
      your gonna regret
      cause We're the best that's ever been.

      Airforce load up Our planes and bomb those arabs hard
      cause hell's broke loose in America
      Bush called out the National Guard.

      and when We win you'll not see those
      shiny streets of gold
      you'll have lost , now the devils got your soul.

      The Navy jumped on our ships and said:
      "We'll start this show"
      fire flew from there turrets
      as They struck a mighty blow.

      The Army marched across the sands
      and they made an evil hiss
      then a band of Volunteers joined in
      and it sounded something like this.

      when you attacked America you said
      "look what i have done"
      but just cower there in your hole
      and let Our Soldiers show you how it's done.

      fire in the towers run boys run
      America was attacked at the rising sun
      terrorism's always been a faceless foe
      it's gonna be a dogfight don't cha'll know.

      the devil bowed his head
      cause he knew that he'd been beat
      and he realized our American Spirit he can not defeat
      Bush said: "devil just come on back
      if you ever wanna try again.... "

      I done told you once
      you son-of-a-bitch
      America's the best there's ever been!!!!



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      Parting Chips

      In dire need of a beauty make-over, Nancy went to her salon with a
      fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous haired model.
      She showed the stylist the trendy new cut she wanted and settled into
      the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on her
      graying hair.
      Nancy was delighted by his cheerful attitude until she recognized the
      It was the theme from "Mission Impossible."


      Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


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    • B.Brabant
      Clean Clean ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please visit our Sponsor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As the world gathers in Salt Lake City on February 8th,
      Message 55 of 55 , Jan 28, 2002
      • 0 Attachment
        Clean Clean


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        Wheel Chair Chips From rubin

        You may be a redneck wheelchair user if:

        * Any part of your chair is painted camo.
        * You have a wheelchair up on blocks in your front yard.
        * You use deck plating, steel mesh, or motorcycle parts as decoration.
        * You rigged up a beer cooler powered off your chair batteries. Double
        points if you don't care that it sucks your batteries dry so long as
        the beer stays cold.
        * You wear cowboy, biker, or work boots , even though they are a bitch to
        put on and you can't walk anyway.
        * You adjusted your headrest so it'll stop knocking off your hat.
        * You installed a gun rack on back.
        * Your joystick is a billiard ball, car stick shift knob, beer tap, or
        * You ever thought about jacking your chair up 2 or 3 feet.
        * You have knobby mud tires- that never get dirty.
        * You installed a sound system so your chair will sound like a truck or hog.
        * You installed a whip antenna just so you could fly the stars and bars!
        * There is a 'Harley' decal or emblem permanently attached to your chair.
        * You installed a CB behind or under your chair.
        * You replaced your seat with a BarcoLounger.
        * You found the above BarcoLounger at the side of the road.
        * You named your chair 'Bubba', 'Junior', 'Daisy', or 'Killer'.
        * There is some part of a deer decorating any part of your chair.
        * You have ever thought about smuggling moonshine in the tubing or battery
        compartment of the chair.
        * You, while in your chair, ever made any roadkill.
        * The accessories hangin' on the chair weigh more than the chair does.
        * You browse truck catalogs looking for ways to soup up your chair.
        * You want to add a side-car or a 'sweet little trailer'.
        * You wear a 4 pound belt buckle that cuts into your stomach as you sit.
        * The fringe of your jacket or strings of your bolo tie have ever got
        caught in your wheels - but you wear it anyway.
        * You regularly call up Harley Davidson and ask when they are going to
        start making wheelchairs.
        * You have spent more than an hour trying to figure out how to hang fuzzy
        dice from your chair.
        * You have transported livestock in your chair. Bonus points if the
        livestock was bigger or heavier than you!
        * You thought about, even for a second, trying to outrun a highway patrol
        cruiser while in your chair.
        * Duct tape plays a major role in your repair and maintenance plan.
        * You really don't need a wheelchair in the first place, but you thought it
        might help pick up chicks.
        * You read this list and found yourself thinking, at any point, "now that's
        a good idea!"


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        Toon Chips

        Lost Cat
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        Modem Noises?
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        Real Price Revealed
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        http://dailymegajoke.com/toons.php?00030813 Warning: Do Not

        http://dailymegajoke.com/toons.php?00030814 We Apologize!


        Lawyer Chips

        Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
        A: A tick falls off of you when you die.

        Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between
        lawyers and their clients?
        A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for what
        is essentially the same service.

        Q: What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to
        their neck in sand?
        A: Not enough sand.

        Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the
        road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
        A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

        Q: What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
        A: A Doberman.

        Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
        A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
        Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they
        fuck up everything forever.

        Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
        A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human


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        Anniversary Chips

        On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den
        with her favourite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off
        her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing
        dinner all by himself.

        "How romantic!" she thought.

        Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served.
        She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess.

        Her harried husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven,
        saw her in the doorway. "Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so
        long -- I had to refill the pepper shaker."

        "Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?"

        "More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin' it through those dumb little


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        Buffy Chips

        A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't
        sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew
        that her friend next door had recently done the same job and
        the two rooms were identical in size.

        "Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy
        for your bedroom?"

        "Ten," said Buffy.

        So the girl bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job,
        but she had 2 rolls leftover.

        "Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the
        bedroom, but I've got 2 leftover!"

        "Yeah!" said Buffy. "So did I."


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        Associated Press: Ole's Dead

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        to him "Who are you and what are you doing?"

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        Fish and Chips From Dianne

        Herbert Peach of Jackson, Kentucky bragged to his neighbors that he
        had thought of a unique way of "fishing" in his backyard pond. He
        claimed that if he rigged up a live electrical cable and dropped the
        end into the water, the nearby fish would be shocked and he could
        run out and collect them.

        The problem is, it worked...up to a point. The fish were shocked on
        his maiden try and so was Mr. Peach who forgot to turn off the 220
        volt line before scampering into the water to collect them.
        Authorities also reported that the electrical generator used to power
        the " fishing expedition" was reported as stolen from the local farm

        Mr. Peach's funeral arrangements will be announced shortly.


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        Chinese Chips

        I think you need a facelift (Chin Tu Fat)
        Are you hiding a fugitive? (Hu Yu Hai Ding?)
        See me A.S.A.P. (Kum Hia Nao)
        Stupid Man (Dum Gai)
        Small Horse (Tai Ni Po Ni)
        Did you go to the beach? (Wai Yu So Tan?)
        I bumped into a coffee table (Ai Bang Mai Ni)
        It's very dark in here (Wai So Dim)
        Has your flight been delayed? (Hao Long Wei Ting?)
        An unauthorized execution (Lin Ching)
        I thought you were on a diet? (Wai Yu Mun Ching?)
        This is a tow away zone (No Pah King)
        You are not very bright (Yu So Dum)
        I got this for free (Ai No Pei)
        I am not guilty! (Wai Hang Mi?)
        Please stay a while longer (Wai Go Nao?)
        They have arrived (Hai Dei Kum.)
        Stay out of sight (Lei Lo)
        He's cleaning his automobile (Wa Sing Ka)
        Your body odor is offensive (Yu Stin Ki Pu)
        Do you know the lyrics to the Macarena? (Wai Yu Sing Dum Song)



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        From The Buffalos Mail Box

        Around the scuttlebutt with the Buffalo
        ( A modern scuttlebutt is a water cooler and on old ships as sailors stood
        around the water cask rumors, sea stories and useful info was spread )

        John Walker

        It sounds like the parents wanted to get rid of the boy because he was an
        embarrassment to them. They gave up their privileges of being a parent.
        It could happen in any county. Why keep bringing Marin County up?


        By Jeff Jacoby

        The Boston Globe

        December 13, 2001

        It isn't the case that the parents of John Walker, the Marin County child of
        privilege turned Taliban terrorist, never drew the line with their son.

        True, they didn't do so when he was 14 and his consuming passion was
        collecting hip-hop CDs with especially nasty lyrics.

        And true, they didn't put their foot down when he announced at 16 that he
        was going to drop out of Tamiscal High School, the elite "alternative"
        school where students determined their own course of study and only saw a
        teacher once a week.

        And granted, they didn't interfere when he abruptly decided to become a
        Muslim after reading *The Autobiography of Malcolm X,* grew a beard, and
        took to wearing long white robes and an oversized skullcap.

        On the contrary: His father was "proud of John for pursuing an alternative
        course" and his mother told friends that it was "good for a child to find a

        Nor did they object when he began spending more and more time at a local
        mosque and set about trying to memorize the Koran.

        Nor when he asked his parents to pay his way to Yemen so he could learn to
        speak "pure" Arabic.

        Nor when they learned that his new circle of friends included gunmen who had
        been to Chechnya to fight the Russians.

        Nor when he headed to Pakistan to join a madrassah in a region known to be a
        stronghold of Islamist extremists.

        His parents also didn't balk when he went to fight in Afghanistan, but that,
        at least,

        they didn't know about: Walker hadn't told them.

        Perhaps by that point he had learned to take their consent for granted.

        Only once, it seems, did Frank Lindh and Marilyn Walker actually deny their
        son something he wanted.

        When he first adopted Islam and took the name Suleyman, they refused to use
        it and insisted on calling him John.

        After all, he had been named for one of the giants of our time: John Lennon.

        Their refusal must have amazed him. For as long as he could remember, his
        oh-so-progressive parents had

        answered "Yes" to his every whim, indulged his every fancy, permitted, even
        praised, his every passion.

        The only thing they insisted on was that nothing be insisted on.

        Nothing in his life was important enough for them to make an issue of: not
        his schooling, not his religion, not his appearance, not even whether he
        stayed in America or moved, [while still a minor], to a benighted Third
        World oligarchy halfway around the world.


        Except, of course, their right to call him by the name of their favorite

        Devout practitioners of the self-obsessed nonjudgmentalism for which the Bay
        Area is renowned, Lindh and Walker appear never to have rebuked their son or
        criticized his choices.

        In their world, there were no absolutes, no fixed truths, no mandatory
        behavior, no thou-shalt-nots.

        If they had one conviction, it was that all convictions are worthy, that
        nothing is intolerable except intolerance.

        But even in Marin County, there are times when children need to hear "No"
        and "Don't."

        They need to know that there are limits they must respect and expectations
        they must try to live up to.

        If they cannot find those limits and expectations at home, they are apt to
        look for them elsewhere.

        Newsweek calls it "truly perplexing" that Walker, who "grew up in possibly
        the most liberal, tolerant place in America, was drawn to the most
        illiberal, intolerant sect in Islam."

        There is nothing perplexing about it. He craved standards and discipline.
        Mom and Dad didn't offer any.

        The Taliban did.

        Even when it was clear that their son was sinking into Islamist fanaticism,
        they wouldn't pull back on the reins.

        When Osama bin Laden's terrorists bombed the USS Cole and killed 17 American

        Walker e-mailed his father that the attack had been justified, since by
        docking the ship in Yemen,

        the United States had committed "an act of war."

        Lindh now says that the message "raised my concerns", but that didn't stop
        him from wiring Walker another $1,200.

        After all, says Dad, "my days of molding him were over."

        It isn't clear that they ever began.

        It undoubtedly came as a jolt to his parents when Walker turned up at the
        fortress near Mazar-i-Sharif, sporting an AK-47 and calling himself Abdul

        But the revelation that their son had enlisted in Al Qaeda and supported the
        Sept. 11 attacks brought no words of reproach, [or self-reproach], to their

        Walker deserved "a little kick in the butt" for keeping them in the dark
        about his plans, his father said, but otherwise they just wanted to "give
        him a big hug."

        His mother, meanwhile, was quite sure that "if he got involved with the
        Taliban he must have been brainwashed. . .

        When you're young and impressionable, it's easy to be led by charismatic

        Yes, it is, and it's a pity that that didn't occur to her sooner.

        If she and Lindh had been less concerned with flaunting their
        open-mindedness and more concerned with developing their son's moral
        judgment, he wouldn't be where he is today.

        Walker is responsible for his own behavior and he will pay the price the law

        But his road to treason and jihad didn't begin in Afghanistan.

        It began in Marin County, with parents who never said "No.


        Boy, you opened a keg of nails with "Lee of Vallejo" talking about how we
        WOMEN would be without 'men or man'.
        At 75 years old, I can truthfully say, much better off!
        And I used to live in Vallejo. It is in California in case anyone was
        wondering where such s--- came from out of a man's mouth.
        Texan and better off.


        for Lee, we'd be WOM's With-out-Men and that would suit me just fine, if
        they all thought like you!! ha ha ha ha




        Please tell Lee he can *HAVE* the "men" and "man" words. He can start with,
        Menstruation, Menopause, Menace, Abandonment, ...... LOL



        Greetings Buffalo
        Not to get too political here but got this from a correspondent and it
        made me think!!!!!!!!!!!!
        Keep up the great work!

        "OK, let me get this straight. It took four months for the Red
        Cross to help the survivors of the victims of the September 11 attacks
        on the United States, but it took four days to go to Cuba to make sure
        the terrorists are OK? Go figure."



        Buffalo, I am shocked to read that there were guns used to subdue the
        shooter at Appalachian Law School. What is more shocking to me is that they
        were not used. You don't pull a gun unless you mean to use it. Otherwise
        you may be a victim as well.
        Jim Mc Quain



        Moving violations gain points. Speeding, littering, passing incorrectlyect,
        but PARKING tickets do NOT get points. Its not a moving violation.
        moving violations are assessed differnt points. Now some times sate don't
        bother to send to other states the violation. The DPS told me that when I
        decided whether or not to fight a ticket in another state. The points
        assed and consequences are found inthe driver's license hand book.
        has a "forgiving" of points if you take an 8 hour drivers safety class,
        which some insurance companies will give you s discoint for taking. But
        you have to have two years in between tickets or go to court to get
        permission to take it to avoid the points.

        Thankyou ,


        Hi, Buffalo,

        Before you and so many of your readers start spreading
        the "Cindy Williams of 'Laverne and Shirley'" military
        pay raise letter around, please check out snopes.com,
        search on "Cindy Williams" and read the real article
        written by CW. This CW is a research assistant at
        MIT, and was once a Congressional aide. Too bad that
        people assume that anyone with a known name is that
        know person!! The spreader of the story even has the
        newspaper wrong.



        Hi Mr. Bill,

        Chinese New Year is Tuesday, 2/12/02 -- Kung Hee Fat Choy!! No need to say
        'Bless You'.

        Anyway, been getting an inordinate (love that word) amount of Spam lately,
        specifically from affiliates of planetofmusic.com, and I had a question for
        all my fellow Chip Lovers:

        Do I just delete the s.o.b.s (excuse me) unread using my "Organize"
        function; or should I be going into every individual piece received (lately
        been getting 3-4 *twice* a day -- hence the s.o.b. tag) and 'Unsubscribe' my
        e-mail address?

        To Unsubscribe or Not to Unsubscribe...boy, this Spam stuff is making me

        Mahalo and Aloha,

        kailua, oahu



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        Parting Chips

        This guy walks into a bar, carrying a crocodile and a chicken. He sets them
        down on the stool next to him, and says to the (uncertain-looking)
        bartender, "I'll have a Scotch and Soda."

        Then the crocodile says, "And I'll have a Whiskey Sour."

        The dumbfounded bartender gasps, "That's incredible! I've never seen a
        crocodile that could talk!"

        The guy says, "He can't; the chicken is a ventriloquist."


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        Bonus Chip


        1. 3M & Goodyear = mmmGood
        2. John Deere & Abitibi-Price = Deere Abi
        3. Crabtree & Evelyn and Apple computer = Crab Apple
        4. Zippo Manufacturing & Audi & Dofasco & Dakota Mining = Zip
        Audi Do Da
        5. Folger Coffee & Detroit Edison & Rolex = Folderal
        6. Swissair & Cheseborough-Ponds = Swisscheese
        7. Honeywell & Imasco & Home Oil = Honey, I'm Home
        8. Denison Mines & Alliance & Metal Mining = Mine, All Mine
        9. 3M & JC Penny & Canadian Opera Company = 3 Penny Opera

        Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean


        Remember 9/11/01
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