You know you are a Goan when.....
>Your house smells like fried onions and fried fish.
> No matter where you go in the world you will find another Goan
>named D'Souza or Fernandes.
> You would rather know what village someones great grandfather came
>from before being introduced.
> Other nationalities don't know whether it is a coincidence or
>incest when you also introduce your wife as a former D'Souza and
>scare them when you
>say your brother also married a D'Souza.
> When you tell your parents you got 98% in an exam and they ask you
>what happened to the other two percent.
> You make tea in a saucepan..
> You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
> Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister & doesn't
>her for ten years.
> You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
> You hide everything from your parents.
> You drink boiled water.
> Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
> You do all the housework & cooking if you are female.
> You think you can sing.
> Everyone is a family friend.
> You study law, medicine or engineering at university.
> You were thick, so you studied computer science or business
> You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
> You still came back home to live with your parents after you had
> You prefer to dwell on the negatives rather than the positives in
> Your best friend got married at the age of 18.
> You like the meat well done.
> You eat onions with everything.
> You use chili sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
> You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
> You don't understand what "No thank you" means after you have
>offered food to someone ....and yet you keep on bloody insisting.
> You have to outdo your friends with something that is bigger,
>better, more expensive even if you can't afford it.
> You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and
>you see all 25 members of your family who have come to pick you up.
> You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage that
>is only 80 lbs. overweight.
> You go back to Goa & people treat you like a member of the royal
> You ask your dad a simple question & he tells you the story of how
>he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
> When you were little you always wondered why your English friends
>waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it
>thing in the morning.
> To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as
>a grooming aid.
> You wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one
>foot of each other (forget about holding hands!).
> You have annoying nicknames like Petus, Babush, Bostiao or Popot..
> You are really confused whether or not you are Portuguese.......
>heaven forbid Indian!
> Your parents push you to get married all the time but find all
>other races other than Goan unacceptable.
> You parents accuse you of dressing like a "hupuleh"
> You get excited whenever "King Fish" is mentioned
> No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over
>for a visit.
> You miss a Goan dance and your parents tell you there were lots of
>young people there.
> Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going
>to be a doctor/lawyer/engineer.
> Your parents always say; "It's cheaper in Goa"
> You cheerfully give away your favorite recipes when asked but
>intentionally leave out the most important ingredients.
> You see pictures of the Caribean and you say "it's just like Goa"
> You've spent a lot of time & effort getting the pulao just right &
>all your Goan friends proceed to dump salt in it.
> Unity and Indian Nationalism is not part of your vocabulary
> Three different Goan clubs/associations are not enough to cater for
> You think Prince Jacob is the ultimate playwright.
> You call everybody who's brown and not from Goa 'bintakar' and make
>fun of them in Konkani
> Two minutes into a conversation you tell a stranger you have 2
>acres and 20 teak trees.
> You are comfortable going for a holiday back to Goa in May... just
>to sample the mangoes/jackfruits and miskut.
> You wash your ass quickly when you hear a pig grunting.
> A majority of your wardrobe consists of football club t-shirts.
> You don't know how to hold a cricket bat.
>You think 'pilots' ride rajdoot motorcycles.
> You are well versed in property law even though you're a welder by
>profession and haven't passed 10th grade.
> You have mango sap boils on your hands.
> You have six middle names most of which you cannot pronounce.
> You run out of the door when you hear a coconut falling.
> You think jiving is the ultimate form of seduction and grace.
> Your entire family is constantly fighting over property they all
>inherited from somebody else.
> You make your way back to the village after 10 years and call at
>the 'communidade' office to collect your "zohn"
> You make your way back to the village after 15 years just to
>celebrate the church feast in your ancestral house just to show
>you are still a "bhatkar".
> You interject 'what', 'men' and 're' in every line of your
> You cross yourself twice before driving over bridges.
> You drink/bathe in well water even though you have a tap
> You eat last night's curry the next morning.
>You call mangoes by portuguese names.
> Lastly, you are certainly not Goan if you don't eat pork, dance,
>drink Feni and drive!!!!!!!