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Re: kingdom of heaven/this chickenshit era we live in...../uplift wars

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  • Leonard Matusik
    God Warren; THAT sucks.... Look what BBC did with Adam s Hitchhicker , :D maybe someone could just do a stage play, maybe a musical adeptation...... Leonard
    Message 1 of 8 , Jun 1, 2005
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      God Warren; THAT sucks....
      Look what BBC did with Adam's "Hitchhicker", :D
      maybe someone could just do a stage play, maybe a musical adeptation......
      Leonard Matusik nanotreasures@...


      Warren Ockrassa <warren@...> wrote:Wed, 1 Jun 2005 07:50:12 -0700

      On Jun 1, 2005, at 5:19 AM, Leonard Matusik wrote:

      > But Uplift WARS! (see even the name sounds movie-ish)
      > That couldn't be a whole lot harder to do than "Planet of the Apes",
      > could it?

      Which version do you mean? The Heston one with the goofy unlifelike
      masks, or the Burton one that was a variant of the first one, which was
      almost wholly unrelated to Boulle's book?


      ***well, the second one of course Warren, I was speaking from a purely technical perspective. My KID could do better than the first one these days>


      > And ya got the goofy bird-nazis, the primal primate sex, the action, a
      > whole species of "merry pranksters" and the interspecies romance (not
      > to mention the cute wittle baby gorillas)

      None of which would make it in the States. There's no room for Angelina
      Jolie to suspend herself from anything or Ben Affleck to Save The Day™.
      There's not even a chance to do extended Lazer Beem® scenes with Great
      Big Explosions©, and the primate sex will NOT turn on anyone's target
      demographic sufficiently to justify the cost. (Those who would get
      turned on are not a significantly large demo to work with anyway.)

      There's no opportunity for Coke or Nike product placement and no role
      for a "dynamic ethnic talent" such as Will Smith or Chris Rock. None of
      the movies would be a "buddy picture" nor a "special effects
      extravaganza", and unfortunately there's a waft of Costner stank
      hovering about the name "Brin" in certain parts of this universe.


      >Now wait a minute here, Will Smith might be able to play Uthacalthing, the Tymbrini ambassidor and Danny Devito would be great as Gubru Suzerain of Beam and Talon...............But, I'm sorry; you're absolutely right about the rest of it..... I shouldn't have brought it up.


      Which means you'd have to pitch on ... heh ... the intellectual appeal
      of the story, which is simply beyond the ken of EVERY studio exec
      extant in Hollywood, and at the rate they're inbreeding the situation
      will not improve for at least another half century. If these novels get
      to celluloid my bet's on a UK production.

      Which would *not* be a bad idea.


      -
      Warren Ockrassa, Publisher/Editor, nightwares Books
      http://books.nightwares.com/
      Current work in progress "The Seven-Year Mirror"
      http://www.nightwares.com/books/ockrassa/Flat_Out.pdf

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    • Warren Ockrassa
      ... Not the Beeb. I was thinking more along the lines of the folks who did the *Brit* version of _War of the Worlds_ recently. And the Beeb TV version was
      Message 2 of 8 , Jun 1, 2005
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        On Jun 1, 2005, at 3:54 PM, Leonard Matusik wrote:

        > God Warren; THAT sucks....
        > Look what BBC did with Adam's "Hitchhicker", :D

        Not the Beeb. I was thinking more along the lines of the folks who did
        the *Brit* version of _War of the Worlds_ recently.

        And the Beeb TV version was still a damn sight better than the farce
        recently reeking up cinemas.

        >>> But Uplift WARS! (see even the name sounds movie-ish)
        >>> That couldn't be a whole lot harder to do than "Planet of the Apes",
        >>> could it?
        >>
        >> Which version do you mean? The Heston one with the goofy unlifelike
        >> masks, or the Burton one that was a variant of the first one, which
        >> was
        >> almost wholly unrelated to Boulle's book?
        >
        > ***well, the second one of course Warren, I was speaking from a purely
        > technical perspective. My KID could do better than the first
        > one these days>

        Heck, a seventh grader with a flip pad and set of colored pencils
        could've done better.

        (OK, not fair. I guess the FX were *tolerable* in context in the Heston
        film ... but when you compare PotA's "apes" to the pre-humans in
        _2001_, well...)

        >> There's no opportunity for Coke or Nike product placement and no role
        >> for a "dynamic ethnic talent" such as Will Smith or Chris Rock. None
        >> of
        >> the movies would be a "buddy picture" nor a "special effects
        >> extravaganza", and unfortunately there's a waft of Costner stank
        >> hovering about the name "Brin" in certain parts of this universe.

        > Now wait a minute here, Will Smith might be able to play Uthacalthing,
        > the Tymbrini ambassidor and Danny Devito would be great as Gubru
        > Suzerain of Beam and Talon...............But, I'm sorry; you're
        > absolutely right about the rest of it..... I shouldn't have brought
        > it up.

        Danny DeVito as a Gubru? Hmm, you thinkin' of his role in _Batman_?

        Will Smith as an antenna'd alien. Huh.


        --
        Warren Ockrassa, Publisher/Editor, nightwares Books
        http://books.nightwares.com/
        Current work in progress "The Seven-Year Mirror"
        http://www.nightwares.com/books/ockrassa/Flat_Out.pdf

        _______________________________________________
        http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
      • Medievalbk@aol.com
        In a message dated 6/1/2005 8:50:49 P.M. US Mountain Standard Time, warren@nightwares.com writes: Will Smith might be able to play Uthacalthing, ... Danny
        Message 3 of 8 , Jun 1, 2005
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          In a message dated 6/1/2005 8:50:49 P.M. US Mountain Standard Time,
          warren@... writes:

          Will Smith might be able to play Uthacalthing,
          > the Tymbrini ambassidor and Danny Devito would be great as Gubru
          > Suzerain of Beam and Talon...............But, I'm sorry; you're
          > absolutely right about the rest of it..... I shouldn't have brought
          > it up.

          Danny DeVito as a Gubru? Hmm, you thinkin' of his role in _Batman_?

          Will Smith as an antenna'd alien. Huh.



          Steven Wright is the only person unemotional enough to play the Thenannin
          ambasador.


          And all Gubru speak like that Lesko creep.

          Vilyehm
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        • Ronn!Blankenship
          ... Which one won the Academy Award, though? -- Ronn! :) _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
          Message 4 of 8 , Jun 1, 2005
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            At 10:50 PM Wednesday 6/1/2005, Warren Ockrassa wrote:

            >(OK, not fair. I guess the FX were *tolerable* in context in the Heston
            >film ... but when you compare PotA's "apes" to the pre-humans in _2001_,
            >well...)


            Which one won the Academy Award, though?


            -- Ronn! :)


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          • Warren Ockrassa
            ... You know why? It s because the Academy thought the apes in _2001_ were *real*. No shit. -- Warren Ockrassa, Publisher/Editor, nightwares Books
            Message 5 of 8 , Jun 2, 2005
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              On Jun 1, 2005, at 10:29 PM, Ronn!Blankenship wrote:

              > At 10:50 PM Wednesday 6/1/2005, Warren Ockrassa wrote:
              >
              >> (OK, not fair. I guess the FX were *tolerable* in context in the
              >> Heston film ... but when you compare PotA's "apes" to the pre-humans
              >> in _2001_, well...)
              >
              > Which one won the Academy Award, though?

              You know why? It's because the Academy thought the "apes" in _2001_
              were *real*.

              No shit.


              --
              Warren Ockrassa, Publisher/Editor, nightwares Books
              http://books.nightwares.com/
              Current work in progress "The Seven-Year Mirror"
              http://www.nightwares.com/books/ockrassa/Flat_Out.pdf

              _______________________________________________
              http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
            • Ronn!Blankenship
              ... Yep. ... Um wouldn t that be Ape sh*t ? -- Ronn! :) _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
              Message 6 of 8 , Jun 2, 2005
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                At 09:43 AM Thursday 6/2/2005, Warren Ockrassa wrote:
                >On Jun 1, 2005, at 10:29 PM, Ronn!Blankenship wrote:
                >
                >>At 10:50 PM Wednesday 6/1/2005, Warren Ockrassa wrote:
                >>
                >>>(OK, not fair. I guess the FX were *tolerable* in context in the Heston
                >>>film ... but when you compare PotA's "apes" to the pre-humans in _2001_,
                >>>well...)
                >>
                >>Which one won the Academy Award, though?
                >
                >You know why? It's because the Academy thought the "apes" in _2001_ were
                >*real*.


                Yep.


                >No shit.


                Um wouldn't that be "Ape sh*t"?


                -- Ronn! :)


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