Loading ...
Sorry, an error occurred while loading the content.

89112Human-Animal Hybrid Ban

Expand Messages
  • Robert G. Seeberger
    Feb 4, 2006

      White House Staff Hit Hard By Human-Animal Hybrid Ban
      Chickenhawks at Risk, Among Others

      A ban on human-animal hybrids announced by President Bush in his State
      of the Union address has many senior White House staffers panicked,
      and the NIH, which has been tasked with enforcing the ban, has already
      prepared subpoenas for DNA samples for most of the White House staff.

      Dick Cheney, who is thought to be a chickenhawk/man, told reporters
      today that the State of the Union was not intended to be taken
      literally by anyone. "It's really a rhetorical flourish," he said.
      Karl Rove, who many people freely attest is "not entirely human,"
      backed up Cheney, saying that almost everything the President said was
      "unenforceable." Cheney and Rove then retired to the White House
      dining room where they gnawed on hanging seed sticks and sharpened
      their beaks.

      A White House official, who preferred to remain anonymous because
      commenting on the genetic makeup of co-workers is frowned upon, said
      that Donald Rumsfeld, while not necessarily a chickenhawk, was
      certainly half-man, half-beast.

      In this morning's press gaggle, White House Press Secretary Scott
      McClellan found himself denying rumors today that the President
      himself is "half-man, half-chimp," saying only, "There's just a
      resemblance." After becoming increasingly defensive, McClellan finally
      compared the press corps to "a bunch of geese" and left the room.

      A poll this morning found that Americans, by and large, are completely
      unconcerned by events in the White House or on Capitol Hill. According
      to pollster Melonie Fisk, "On the whole, Americans are more concerned
      with keeping up with the herd and the coming spring shearing."


      House Of Pain Maru


      Second clue: Are We Not Men?

    • Show all 2 messages in this topic