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33242I need some help/reassurance/guidance/advice

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  • Leyla Preston
    Dec 27, 2011
      Hi guys



      Ok, apologies in advance for the very long email I am about to write. I
      think you may be the brunt of one of my much-needed venting sessions.



      I am currently 7 months pregnant with our second baby boy and have a one
      year old energetic and lively boy called Aron. We absolutely love him to
      bits, he is such a happy child with a very warm heart. He is so much fun to
      be around and a very excitable character, so when I write this email, I am
      not writing with huge, huge urgency, but I am starting to get a little
      niggling worry in the back of my mind that what my husband and I are doing
      as parents isn't really helping Aron's development and mental health.



      My husband and I are quite lenient in terms of feeding, sleeping and
      basically all things fun and/or educational. We have only a few friends and
      family that have children that are of Aron's age, so we don't have much to
      compare Aron's development by, even though I know you're not actually meant
      to compare babies because every baby is different.



      We have no problems with Aron's feeding. From 6 months I started giving him
      finger foods first, so he could play around with his meals and breastfed him
      his milk for the majority of his diet. At about 8 months he started getting
      quite proficient with food and I started to offer him pureed foods, using
      him as guidance as to how hungry or not hungry he was and, again,
      breastfeeding him for the remainder of his diet. He has remained between 95
      - 99 percentile in terms of weight and height, so we are not worried about
      his diet so much. He is one year old at the moment and still breastfeeding
      just once in the evening to get him to sleep (I will come onto this later)
      but for the rest of his diet, he eats 3 healthy meals a day, plus snacks,
      plus 3 x 250ml cow's milk (3 bottles basically). No worries there, he's a
      blessing!!



      What we worry about and if I'm brutally honest, it really is because we hear
      many, many things about the few friends and family's babies going to bed at
      7 and getting up at 7 and only waking up once for a feed, but mainly
      sleeping through the night. Ok, our little blessing doesn't do this AT ALL!!
      If we're lucky, we'll get him to sleep by 11pm. He will nap throughout the
      day for one to two hours but this napping could be at any time during the
      day, between 12 and 4pm. By 4pm, if he hasn't slept, we try really hard to
      keep him up until 7pm, but to no avail and I don't have the heart to starve
      him of his sleep, so he ends up sleeping at 4 and waking up at 5. This means
      he doesn't sleep until 11pm or 12 pm, but by then he is so overtired and
      cranky that it's an absolute nightmare to get him to sleep. If he sleeps
      around 12, he's normally knackered by 8 but he will do everything in his
      power to stay up till 11ish and he's even worse by then! I'm trying to
      substitute the breast with the bottle at the moment and this only works on
      some occasions, i.e. when he's exhausted. If he's not tired (he's superman
      really) then I have to give him the breast so he falls asleep otherwise we
      have no luck until 1am.



      To counteract this, we try to get him up at 7 so we can start his body clock
      again, but sometimes naughty mummy (yes, most of the times I am the major
      culprit of this sleeping issue) is so tired from the third trimester, I end
      up sleeping until 10am and he sleeps soundly with me until then. He wakes up
      a couple of times in the night and I just offer him the boob to get back to
      sleep.



      Now, if it wasn't for society telling us that this boy needs to be up by 7
      and in bed by 7, we'd probably ride this thing out as I'm sure that external
      factors like when he starts nursery, will sort his body clock out. But I've
      heard that babies of his age have started walking and can utter a few words
      now and I'm starting to wonder whether his crazy sleep routine is imposing
      on his development.



      I don't know! I also have pregnancy brain, so one day I'm fine with it all
      and the next day I sit there stricken with grief as I've just come off the
      phone to a friend who has a baby who is 1 month younger than Aron and
      apparently her baby has just walked to the park or says 'bye-bye'. When
      asked how his sleeping routine is. 'Oh he is an angel! He sleeps through the
      night from 7 to 7'.



      You can see how a mother worries. someone tell me I'm doing ok please,
      because I would love to be the lenient and relaxed mother who likes to
      gently guide her son to a wonderful happy and healthy life, but am I just
      hindering him???



      Thank you so much for letting me vent. As you can see by the time, it is
      12.30am and I have just put Aron to bed after a very exhausting day.


      Thanks again and sincere apologies to those who just didn't have the time to
      read this. I appreciate your time ;-)



      Merry Christmas and Happy New Year by the way! I hope you all are enjoying
      the holidays with your families J



      Lots of love



      Leyla



      xxx





      Kind regards



      Leyla Preston

      <mailto:leyla@...> Email



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