36727Re: [bbshop] This just in....Don Harris quits as Barbershop Society's International CEO!!!
- Feb 1, 2004Brilliant! for us. You've got the players in the cross hairs!
But the Don appears as our link to "the out side" (separation of words
intended). We have a language amongst ourselves - socially incestuous
perhaps. Don has the potential of seeing barbershopping for what it offers -
and selling that to the public that we've been trying to communicate with
unsuccessfully because we speak a different language.
Support the man. He's selected. He's there.
Nevertheless, this piece remains simply BRILLIANT!
----- Original Message -----
From: "richstan4d2004" <richstan4d2004@...>
Sent: Sunday, February 01, 2004 2:28 AM
Subject: [bbshop] This just in....Don Harris quits as Barbershop Society's
> TRANSCRIPT OF THE ACTUAL BRIEFING OF DON HARRIS'S FIRST DAY ON THE
> OK Mr. Harris, thanks for coming up to my office and congratulations
> for becoming head of this society. There's a few things you should
> know before you take the helm of leading an average run-of-the-mill
> hobby-based organization into the 21st century. It's just routine
> stuff that I'm sure you've run into. First of all, basses are dumb,
> baritones are outcasts, leads are stagehogs, and tenors are gay.
> Remember that it's very impolite to 5th wheel. Avoiding "Kipping" a
> note unless you're VERY good. There is one professional barbershopper
> and his name is Joe Connelly. Keep that name in mind, he's the answer
> to many trivia questions. The second place quartet always got
> screwed, most of us are forced to do choreography, and then there's
> Munson Hinman.
> We thank God for Sweet Ads, for without them we would NEVER have a
> social life. The lobby is the temple of our hobby, nobody wants to be
> the Chapter President, and Joe Daniels was perfect.
> Barbershopping is the fourth leading cause of divorce in America and
> everyone is dying to hear Max Q. There are people who are known just
> by one name. Lloyd, Freddie, the aforementioned Kipp, O.C, Rupert,
> Calvin and Willard, and of course, Oxley.
> Giallombardo did not lead orchestras on New Years Eve, we really like
> listening to Bob Disney but aren't sure why, the Suntones are
> practically religious figures, Jeff Baker wrote that, Mike Senter
> can't be explained, most of us have stayed up many nights trying to
> pick the perfect quartet name, we worship the Boston Common, and
> every quartet has one guy that needs to be kicked out to move from
> 16th place to 13th. There are a few of us who spend the better part
> of a decade rehearsing, spending thousands of dollars on matching
> outfits, hiring several coaches, fighting and making up, just to
> reach the ultimate plateau of International Champion and finally at
> long last being heralded as the greatest quartet of your time just to
> have someone in your office on Monday ask you if you won that trophy
> cutting hair.
> The quartet who barely sings in tune and speaks nearly no English
> always gets standing ovations. Phil DeBar is not a command. Don't ask
> what FRED really stands for. Where else would you have a mixed
> quartet of Don Butzen and his wife singing with Otto Nass and his
> wife. Their name? The Butzen Nasses.
> Our best moments ever were when some of us were dressed as toy
> soldiers, Wizard of Oz characters, the Marx Brothers, Star Trek
> personnel, and inept doctors.
> Van Tassell wouldn't hassle with the lyrics, and Felgen would be
> beltin' with the bass, and Clark wouldn't bark in a letter, and the
> lead in the Oriole Four sang high.
> Yes, I know that doesn't make any sense. But those are actual lyrics
> in a song explaining our relig..., I mean hobby.
> So Mr. Harris, let me now try to explain Lloyd Steinkamp, Dick
> Johnson, why Jim Meehan quit, how the West Towns chorus won
> International by placing second in both rounds of the contest, why
> every judge is deemed incompetent, and the new Science of Sound. I'm
> sure with your vast background leading organizations, this is making
> perfect sense to you. Right?......
> Mr. Harris?.... Don? Hmmmm where'd he go....Don??? Oooooo, that must
> have hurt--I wonder if he knew that we were on the third floor?
> Respectfully submitted,
> Richard Stanford
> Barbershopper for 20 years and 1 day 1/30/84
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