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Re: [bafuture] Reviews and Commentary By DJ Cline

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  • Wayne Radinsky
    ... Not just a future. ETERNITY. http://www.mathpuzzle.com/eternity.html ... Oh, you think I m going to laugh at your silliness, do you? ... Man I wish I d
    Message 1 of 3 , May 31, 2005
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      DJ Cline wrote:
      > First off congratulations to Mark and Marie.
      > What is better than a future together?

      Not just a future.



      > Silliness below,

      Oh, you think I'm going to laugh at your silliness, do you?

      > If you are gay, today was the last day to be a donor at a fertility
      > clinic.

      Man I wish I'd though of being a sperm donor sooner. It's probably
      a good way to improve your genetic fitness. Even though you never
      get to know your kids. But I'm already too old now.

      > The most refreshing speech I heard at all of last month's events was by
      > Tim Bray, Co-inventor of XML and Director of Web Technologies at Sun
      > Microsystems. He said that every complex system that works developed
      > from a simple one that worked. Systems with low barriers of entry that
      > accomplish eighty percent of what you want to do with twenty percent of
      > the effort will probably catch on.

      Yes I know. Worse is better.

      + The Rise of "Worse is Better" +

      > The most entertaining speech was what I'm calling the Eternal Junket
      > (™). It was how to get out of the office and not do real work at company
      > expense. Tell your boss that you need more customer feedback. Go to a
      > convention ask a few partying customers what they like about your
      > company. This is like asking a trekkie if he likes Star Trek. (Chances
      > are they'll say they like your company's parties, but don't include that
      > on your survey.) It's the unhappy customers you need to understand, but
      > they are back at their desks doing real work. Tabulate your results. If
      > they are positive, good. If they are inconclusive, great! Better yet,
      > tell your boss you need to go to another convention to present them.
      > Mention your company name a lot, but don't give out useful information.
      > Wash, rinse, repeat, until customers get fed up and go elsewhere.

      And I've spent all these years trying to create real benefit for real
      customers. What a sucker I am.

      > Spokane is where survivalists go to shop.

      Can you buy

      + Nuclear War Survival Skills +
      1987 book from Oak Ridge National Laboratory

      > Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies and Why
      > By Laurence Gonzales
      > A thoughtful analysis on why some people make it, from fighter pilots,
      > mountain climbers, river rafters to cancer patients. A sense of wonder
      > helps. A sense of humor is essential. Imagine trying to laugh in the
      > face of death and being told you couldn't.

      Oh, this is not good news. I have no sense of humor. I
      never laugh. I certainly never laugh hard. I never roll on
      the floor in side-splitting laughter. No, no side-splitting
      for me. No sir-ee-bob.

      I'll prove it to you. Here's the list of all the DVD's that
      Amazon.com recommends I watch. Note that there are *zero*
      humor titles on the list.

      1. Steve-O Video Vol, 3: Out On Bail
      2. Viva La Bam - The Complete First Season
      3. Wildboyz - The Complete First Season
      4. CKY4: The Latest & Greatest
      5. Cirque du Soleil - Quidam
      6. Haggard (Unrated Version)
      7. Cirque du Soleil - Varekai
      8. Cirque du Soleil - Alegria (Live in Sydney)
      9. Viva La Bam - The Complete 2nd and 3rd Seasons
      10. Jackass, Vol. 3
      11. Asoka
      12. Pure 80's: The DVD
      13. Dil Se
      14. Essential Music Videos - Hits of the '80s
      15. Nuclear Rescue 911 - Broken Arrows & Incidents

      I'll even go one step further to prove my humorlessness.
      I'll show you what DVDs Amazon.co.uk recommends:

      1. Trigger Happy TV - Series 3 [2000]
      2. Dom Joly - World Shut Your Mouth
      3. Trigger Happy TV - Series 2 [2000]
      4. Trigger Happy TV - Best Of Series 1 [2000]
      5. Ali G - Aiii [2000]
      6. Ali G in da USAiii [2003]
      7. Ali G - Bling Bling [2001]
      8. Ali G - Indahouse - The Movie [2002]
      9. The Keith Barret Show - Series 1
      10. Director's Commentary [2004]
      11. The Day Today (2 Disc Set) [1994]
      12. The Office: Christmas Specials [2001]
      13. Little Britain - Series 1 [2003]
      14. Spaced : Definitive Collector's Edition
      15. Alan Partridge - I'm Alan Partridge - Episodes 1 To 6

      Again, no humor titles at all. See, I just never laugh.
      Plenty of politically subversive material, to be sure, but
      nothing to laugh at. Kinda scary, isn't it, how much Amazon
      knows about me? I'm probably crazy to public post my
      Amazon recommendations. Nobody else on this list
      would ever do it.

      And I absolutely never, ever, watch those silly Japanese
      robot cat videos (http://www.necoro.com/theater/index.html).
      And if I were to see one accidentally, I wouldn't laugh.

      > TV Reviews

      What, no review of The Apprentice??

      > Movie Reviews
      > Battle for Algiers
      > Made back in 1966, this film has some relevance to our current
      > situation.

      Which would be ... ?

      > In This World
      > Two Pakistani kids try to get to England. It has a gritty documentary
      > style done from their point of view. Scary.

      Scary because ... ?

      > Sin City
      > This was really hard to sit through. Someone will like it, but not me.
      > It is a technical triumph but grotesque. It earns my PG-65 rating.

      Gee, Las Vegas really isn't that grotesque. I drove through it
      in April. Was treated to a delightful tour of the Venecian
      and Bellagio by some friends. I do admit the flashing neon
      McDonald's sign is a bit tacky though.

      And why is it called "Sin City"? Because where else
      can you order grilled shrimp & cilantro pesto quesadilla
      24 hours a day?

      > Star Wars Episode III
      > For a film reviewer, going to this movie was like jury duty. These
      > movies have become like opera with confusing plots, silly costumes,
      > overbearing music and really long running times. Anakin Skywalker gets
      > ahead in his career by betraying his friends. Pack a lunch and take a
      > nap beforehand. You may now safely exit the franchise.

      I got sick of Star Wars. I haven't seen any of the new Star Wars
      movies. I got sick of Star Trek, too, about 10 years ago. I can't tell
      you why, though. But this guy can articulate the problem:

      + Watching Star Wars 28 Years Later +

      And while we're at it, see also

      + Strange New World: No 'Star Trek' +

      Except the LA Times yanked the story off the web, so I had to use Google
      to find another copy


    • DJ Cline
      DJ Cline Commentary 06-30-05 Copyright 2005 All rights reserved. Commentary Apple is going Intel. The result could be an iPod that will store a million songs
      Message 2 of 3 , Jun 30, 2005
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        DJ Cline Commentary 06-30-05
        Copyright 2005 All rights reserved.


        Apple is going Intel. The result could be an iPod that will store a
        million songs but run so hot it will burn a hole in your pocket.

        A friend got an e-mail from a company wanting them to send a resume to
        their Talent Warehouse. The name says a lot about this troubled
        non-Silicon Valley company. They let a lot of talented people go during
        the last downturn. In today’s marketplace, they discovered they need
        them back. As my friend said, talent doesn’t sit in a warehouse. Don’t
        ask for what you don’t recognize or know how to use. Don’t ask for a
        rare fish when you want fish sticks.

        As for the real estate bubble, people are paying too much money for
        houses they may not really own. The Supreme Court’s Kelo decision means
        no matter how much you paid, you are just renting from the government.
        Back on the reservation, we had another name for eminent domain. We
        called it Manifest Destiny.

        In Palo Alto, Carlos S. Baradello, PhD. from Carnegie Mellon, talked
        about which South American countries are best prepared for the new
        economy. The best bet? Chile. The worst? Paraguay. Crying for Argentina
        is optional.

        In Santa Clara, there was a Vertical Leap or vertical search event. The
        most lively part was the News/Blog Search Panel, moderated, and I used
        that term loosely, by Om Malik of Business 2.0. It did not surprise me
        that you could not get blogging experts to stop talking. They were
        great! The panelists were Tantek Celik of Technorati, Jim Oitkow of
        Moreover Technologies, Scott Rafer of Feedster, and Chris Tolles of
        Topix. Among the topics, Om Malik wanted to know why they couldn’t
        design more user-friendly interfaces. They also discussed how to rank
        blog entries for timeliness and bias.

        Book Reviews

        What The Dormouse Said
        By John Markoff
        Counterculture creates computing. Markoff ties many loose ends of the
        Bay Area Sixties culture into a big psychedelic knot of Ethernet cables.
        Of course, the book will have imitators like:

        Source On Ice
        Black Panther Huey Newton tries to develop an operating system that
        won’t be controlled by The Man.

        No One Gets Out Of Here Online
        The Door’s singer Jim Morrison’s battles to get everyone high speed
        access, so they can read his overwrought imagery.

        Steal This Code
        Yippie Abbie Hoffman finds and distributes shareware. People riot when
        they discover it’s not Tupperware.

        TV Reviews

        The 4400
        Not to be outdone by other silly sci-fi series, they not only have a
        spooky kid, they have an infant that can rob a motel. Puh-leeeze!

        Into The West
        America is invaded by heavily armed religious fanatics bent on
        destroying our way of life. They are called Pilgrims. I call this
        series: Dances with Spielberg. Politically correct persons of heroics
        still aren’t as pretty as the Canadian countryside where it was filmed.
        It tries really hard, but still belongs on the Hallmark or Lifetime

        Movie Reviews

        A mousy nerd travels around the country going to conventions and spying
        for a company based in San Jose. He also works as a double agent for a
        company in Redmond. Lucy Liu shows up in a black helicopter and says
        things are even more complicated than he thinks. This is a very funny
        thriller. The customer survey scene at a hotel seminar with the lab
        technicians had me rolling on the floor.

        The Intrepreter
        Nicole Kidman as the world’s most unlikely African interpreter
        overhearing an assassination plot at the UN. Soon, Sean Penn shows up
        grimacing and the viewer will too. Speeches may induce drowsiness or
        fast forwarding.

        A boy deals with death of his mother by daydreaming about saints. His
        older brother obsesses about money, knowing the price of everything and
        value of nothing. One day a suitcase full of money lands on their
        clubhouse. This is a sweet film about values. Recommended.

        A Confederate ironclad is buried in the desert. Clive Cussler’s hero
        Dirk Pitt finds the ship, downs a helicopter with a Civil War cannon and
        gets the girl. There is also Bond-like villain with a secret lair of
        toxic waste battling desert rebels. The soundtrack consists of hard rock
        hits from the seventies. A very silly film.

        DJ Cline Commentary 06-30-05
        Copyright 2005 All rights reserved.
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