Edit: IR - Tilley Mash-Up Hat - Mike Pearl
- Hi Mike,
Nice to be working with you again! Please find following my edits for your IR, which follow the standard format:
EDIT: must be changed
Edit: change at your discretion
Comment: Just that
Mike, the HTML looks great and you have some nice photos there, so please go ahead and upload after the edits.
The last tag list several hat features and explains how it should fit.
EDIT: Please change 'list' to 'lists for the plural form.
As well as the Tilley's statement of "insured against loss and guaranteed for life, replace free if it ever wears out."
Edit: for clarity, might I suggest dropping 'the' before Tilley's? I understand you may be referring to your hat rather than the Company but, to me, it reads better if it refers to the Company.
The Manual contains the story that inspired the Mash-Up hat, use and care instructions as well as Tilleys guarantee and insurance.
EDIT: Tilleys should be Tilley's to denote ownership.
The feature that surprises me the most is the Mash-Ups ablilty to float.
EDIT: Again, because it's possessive, it should be Mash-Up's
Guarantee - If a unbleached Tilley Hat ever wears out, mail back with a $7.50 check (within North America), #5 check (within U.K.), $20.00 check (other countries) or credit card number and expiration date to cover shipping and Tilley will replace the hat free.
EDIT: Please replace 'a' with 'an'
Edit: With respect to the ₤ symbol for pounds, it's usually in the "Insert Symbol" menu, but if you can't find it, maybe you could write it as 'pounds'? Or, maybe cut and paste from here?
The wide brim provides a good amount shading.
EDIT: Please insert 'of' between 'amount' and 'shading'
I wonder if this will hold true outside in the sun and heat.
EDIT: As you are wondering (questioning) I believe this sentence should end in a question mark '?'
. over the next two months.
EDIT: This appears to be a sentence fragment which is feeling very lonely out in the cold, hard world. Can you edit this one to make it feel more loved please?
That's all I have for you! See you in two months.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]