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EDIT - FR - ISIS Slipstream Jacket - Gail

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  • Derek Hansen
    Thanks for subitting your report! Here are my edits in typical BGT fashion. Feel free to do the necessary clean-up once your edits are complete. Best, ~derek #
    Message 1 of 2 , Mar 23, 2013
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      Thanks for subitting your report! Here are my edits in typical BGT fashion. Feel free to do the necessary clean-up once your edits are complete.

      Best,

      ~derek

      # # #


      > activities as they are highly aerobic and wearing the jacket is
      > too much.
      Edit/Comment: Not really anything wrong here, but I thought you might clarify what is "too much" -- the weight? Too bulky? Too warm? I think you allude to it, but you could connect the dots.


      > Many other collars on jacket have inner
      EDIT: collars on jackets


      > material which are cold to the
      Edit: "material, which" -OR- "material that"
      I think I'd vote for "that" as it is restrictive.


      > the length which adequately covers
      Comment: I'm just being lazy tonight, but typically "which" requires a comma preceding, otherwise the better word choice is "that." Which vs. That is probably me just being persnickety, which is why I'm leaving it as a comment.


      > a very great combination in my books.
      Comment: This is the first time I've read this phrase in the plural. I've only got one book, and I'm still filling it up. I'd be interested to see how many volumes you have ;) :D



      > The color that I am testing is a bit bright but I have received many compliments.
      Edit/Comment: "...a bit bright, but..." ... "...I have received many compliments on it/the color/on its brilliance." ?
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