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Re: [backpackgeartesters] Edit - Outdoor Products Amphibian - Mike Pearl

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  • Mike Pearl
    Richard, Thanks for the speedy and solid editorial advice.  Pleasure working with you. Mike ... From: richardglyon@att.net Subject:
    Message 1 of 2 , Mar 5, 2013
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      Richard,
      Thanks for the speedy and solid editorial advice.  Pleasure working with you.
      Mike

      --- On Tue, 3/5/13, richardglyon@... <montana.angler@...> wrote:

      From: richardglyon@... <montana.angler@...>
      Subject: [backpackgeartesters] Edit - Outdoor Products Amphibian - Mike Pearl
      To: backpackgeartesters@yahoogroups.com
      Date: Tuesday, March 5, 2013, 3:29 AM
















       









      Mike,



      Good job, sir! If I haven't mentioned it before, first-rate use of photos. A few edits, in the standard format, below. Most are suggestions. After revising you're good to upload. Don't forget to delete your Tests folder copy.



      See you down the trail, Richard



      ### Moose Mountain (North Peak), New Hampshire - 8 mi (13 km) to 2300 ft (700 m), 17 F (-8 C) and windy gust of 35 mph (56 kph) gust, hard packed snow ###

      EDIT: windy gusts of 35 mph (56 kph) [First "gust" made plural, second deleted as redundant.

      Edit: hard-packed [with a hyphen]



      ### When in direct contact with the wet or snow cover ground and even when sat on top of the Amphibian remained waterproof. ###

      EDIT: even when I sat on top



      ### I continue to be frustrated with the level of use the exterior pockets provide. ###

      Edit: I know what you mean, but I think this would be clearer if you said "the limited level of use"



      ### Ultimately the snowshoes fit securely to pack and stayed in place the entire hike. ###

      Edit: Consider replacing "Ultimately" with "After this fix." I think that's what you mean.

      Comment: Bummer the pack doesn't accommodate snowshoes without a jerry-rig.



      ### Shortly after Field Testing began I became concerned with one thing. The affect cold temperatures would have on the waterproof TPU coated roll top closure. ###

      Edit: I'd make this one sentence, replacing the period after "thing" with a colon or a dash. If a dash, "The" should be lower case.

      EDIT: effect [not "affect"]

      Edit: TPU-coated [with a hyphen]



      ### Post hike examination of the Amphibian following the last outing of the Long-Term period reveals no defects or damage. ###

      Edit: Post-hike [with a hyphen]



      ### The few complainants I can list do not out weigh the complements. ###

      EDIT: complaints [spelling]

      EDIT: outweigh [one word]

      EDIT: compliments [Spelling. "Complements" [two e] means something different.]



      ### The Amphibian is a solid little weather proof pack. ###

      Edit: weatherproof [one word]



      ### I will reach for the Amphibian Pack when day hiking and cross country skiing. ###

      Edit: cross-country [with a hyphen]



      ### This completes my Long-Term Report. ###

      EDIT: completes my Test Report.



























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