EDIT: IR - Black Diamond Astral 40 pack - Erin Foudy
Here are your edits below. Feel free to upload when ready and remember
to delete your test file. See you in a few months.
Also, for the rest of the test series, could you please CC me on the reports as
well as the group?
Edits follow the usual convention:
EDIT: Must change
Edit: Check it out and consider changing something
Comment: Just that...no change needed
>> The mediumsized version of the pack
medium-sized (or Medium size)
>> Inside themain compartment is a small vertical hook and loop strap to hold up a hydration
>>Edit: You mightwant to use a darker or bolder font on the pictures of the pack – the current
color and font size is hard to read.
>>There is nothingmore frustrating then having a pocket that proves to be useless when it comes
EDIT: … than
>>The Astral hasfive additional pockets to the main compartment and the top lid pocket:…
EDIT: …five additional
pockets in the main compartment…. or …five pockets in addition to the main
compartment and the top lid pocket:…
>>In my day pack Ihave a similar setup, however, the strap has a very small clip.
Edit: It is not clear
which pack has the small clip, please clarify.
>> twosmaller pockets, about the ideal size of a large water bottle EDIT: about
the ideal size “for” a large water bottle or: about the size of a large water bottle
"Making the world a better place is not only your responsibility, it is your joy, it is your blessing, it is your gift, it's your opportunity to make your life mean something, so take it." ~ Derrick N. Ashong
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